Courage in the Kiss (15 page)

It took them just over an hour to get home, but Emerson wouldn’t let up on his complaints or snide comments about Hadley and her inability to think of other people before herself. He wanted her to know just how angry he was at her willingness to throw away everything he’d given her, just because he’d done something to annoy her.

He got his point through, perfectly.

Hadley’s temper was rising, but she was trying so hard to ignore him and focus on the gentle smile and calming influence of Maxx sitting beside her.

A part of her understood that Emerson loved her like a daughter and wanted her to be a part of a family again. She appreciated that, but he’d been secretive, planning her future and going behind her back. If he’d just asked her how she felt about it, at a time and place where Maxx hadn’t been in front of her, she’d have told him the truth.

Now, there was no way for her to tell Emerson that she loved Maxx without everything going to hell.

“I don’t see why you promised to keep in touch with Jennifer and Marco Gerard, or go to lunch with them, if you intended to leave,” Emerson continued, referring to the lovely couple she’d met at the party. “And who are you going to spend time with? Who will you live with? Have you even thought about that?” he questioned, continuously.

“I don’t know how this Conway character can put up with you. He’s known you since you were teenagers and now he has to take you in as a lodger. You’re so inconsiderate, Hadley. I really thought I’d brought you up better than that.” He sighed, his comments cutting deep into her heart.

Hadley tried to keep quiet, even if it was only so that she didn’t scream at him uncontrollably. She sat there, like the good girl she was, and let the tears flow down her cheeks, wiping them away silently, not caring if anyone saw them.

There wasn’t one word that didn’t tear her apart inside. Everything he said made her feel so hollow and worthless that she wished she could just be alone and curl into a protective ball. She never wanted anyone but Maxx near her again.

She could see how angry he was at his father, but, unlike her, he wasn’t good at hiding his anger. He’d been arguing with his dad the entire trip, and she hated herself for tearing them apart, putting them at odds like this.

“Will you shut up!” he shouted, sounding tired. “Damn it, Dad! Why can’t you just keep your mouth shut?” Maxx barked, as he finally pulled up to the house.

As soon as he cut the engine, Hadley opened her door and went inside ahead of everyone else. She headed straight for the house, her arms folded defensively against her chest to fight off any further verbal attacks.

Behind her, she could hear Maxx still arguing with his father. He carried the bags inside the house and left them sitting in the hallway, as Emerson traipsed in gingerly.

Maxx took refuge in the living room, leaving his father to his own devices.

Hadley stood at the base of the stairs, watching him. Ever since he got back from his business trip, things had been different. There’d been nothing but confusing vibes between them; a raging fire one minute and cold as ice at others.

She wiped away her tears and thought of Maxx and how much she loved him. Despite their situation, just thinking about him brought a smile to her lips. God, she loved that man.

Hadley walked toward the living room, whose door stood slightly ajar, with a worn out Maxx sitting on the armchair next to the fire. His head lay back onto the chair, his eyes closed.

Walking into the room, she knew instantly that he wasn’t asleep, but taking some time to think to himself. Settling herself at his feet, Hadley lay her head on his lap, wondering if Emerson would ever see reason.

It was only a second later that she felt Maxx running his fingers through her hair and she smiled to herself.

“Had, are you alright?” he asked softly, seeming to know how upset she was.

“I’m fine,” she promised quietly. She loved knowing that they could have this, even if Maxx was opposed to any cemented relationship between them. Having this closeness made all the stress and secrets worth it. “I’m sorry,” she apologised after a short silence.

“Sorry for what? Hadley…you didn’t do anything wrong,” he protested.

“I went all hormonal on you again,” she admitted, unable to understand why she kept crying. It was so tedious.

“Maybe, but you have perfect reason to be emotional. He had no right to say the things he did,” he assured her, with a fierceness in his voice that comforted her.

“I just wish he’d understand.”

“He will. I promise, I’ll fix this. I’ll make him understand,” Maxx swore, tenderly. “And if he doesn’t, what does it matter? We don’t need his approval. We’re adults and what we choose to do is none of his business,” he continued.

“I know, but…” She sighed sadly, not sure how to explain it. She knew this wasn’t going anywhere; Maxx would eventually leave her broken-hearted and move on to some other girl. But she couldn’t just give up this chance with him the way she knew she should.

“Come here,” he asked, softly.

Hadley stood up and smiled when Maxx held his hand out in a silent invitation to get closer. She settled herself on Maxx’s knee, lay her head on his shoulder, and closed her eyes. It felt so good to be in his arms, to have him fighting for what little time they had, to be together.

“I promise. I won’t let him ruin this for us,” he vowed.

Hadley raised her head and smiled at him, feeling so lucky for the way he treated her. She could so easily have been treated like any other one night stand; ignored and unwanted unless it was to cater to Maxx’s needs. “I love you so much, Maxx. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” she admitted, touching his face.

“I think you’d be just fine,” he claimed with a tender smile. “You’re stronger than you think, Had. If I can prove that to you, during the time we have, then that’ll make it all worth it, right?” he checked, as though trying desperately to find a bright side.

Hadley wasn’t sure there was one.

Maxx knew his father would never change and that Hadley didn’t deserve the emotional battering, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. His dad was a stubborn mule, but so was Hadley, and she was adamant about fighting her own battles.

Sitting on his lap, she spoke so softly of love and how wonderful he was. Maxx knew – and had always known – that he didn’t deserve her. It wasn’t something he’d just discovered or that he’d learned over the years; it was a fact of life. Hadley was one of those rare girls who could be a friend, a girlfriend, a wife, a lover, and all of those at once, without ever feeling the need to control him.

If she saw him with another woman, there would be jealousy, but she would trust him. If he made a commitment to her, that jealousy might even disappear, after a while.

Frankly, Maxx didn’t know how his dad hadn’t noticed the chemistry between them. Ever since he got back from his last trip, it had been crackling and sizzling right before his eyes, until he couldn’t stand it anymore.

If he could only love her, all of her dreams would come true at once.

Luckily for him, Hadley was a girl who had a talent for knowing people’s emotions and turning her hand to anything, making it beautiful without effort. She had a breathtaking smile and was easily the most attractive girl he’d ever met, with or without make-up. Her voice could calm or excite him, her laugh made him smile, and then there were the little nuances that made him crazy about her all these years.

It wasn’t love. It wasn’t even pure lust. There was an affection there that went deeper than anything he’d expressed to her, so far. But it had to stay that way. There was no room in his life for Hadley. It would only be giving her false hope, to pretend there might be.

She definitely had the ability to teach Maxx a thing or two about home comforts and had the influence to turn him into a real family man, if she had a mind to. He’d always worked too hard, even at his homework. He had never been the smartest person, which had bothered him in the beginning, but he’d learned to look past his short comings and use what he had. And he certainly had a lot to offer a woman like Hadley.

Maxx seemed to be the only one who possessed the ability to make her take a long overdue and well deserved rest from working too hard. His natural instincts had certainly been discovered over the past few days, as he’d never intended for them to be anything more than a one night stand to each other.

He’d given in to his needs, to his dreams, and finally gone after what he really wanted, only to find that Hadley wanted him even more. But he’d never let himself believe it could last.

“I’ve never not loved you,” Hadley said, waking him from his thoughts as he stared into the flames of the fire. “You were one of my closest friends for sixteen years. You saw me through a lot; things Micah and your father couldn’t understand,” she continued, in that soft lilt that said she was both happy and tired.

“When I lost my parents,” she went on, a hint of emotion creeping into her voice, “you were the one who stayed with me. You were the one who talked things through with me, telling me how you felt when you lost your mother,” she confessed, as though this were a conversation they were simply picking up from another time.

“Until now, I thought I’d been in love with you since I turned sixteen, but now I see the truth. I think I’ve always loved you...since that first time you kissed me, when I was five,” she said, with a soft giggle.

“Sixteen years?” he asked, intrigued by the notion that she’d been in love with him for so long. Even since before she knew what love was.

“Yes…sixteen years,” she decided, sounding more sure of herself.

“And after that?” he tested, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist, pulling her closer.

“Well, I thought you already knew the answer to that one,” she teased, blushing furiously, as he watched her.

Maxx knew she was ashamed of what they were doing together, but that it was also something she’d wanted as much as he had. He couldn’t imagine how conflicted she was, but he was trying his damned hardest to make it easier on her.

“I think I need you to tell me again,” he lied, hoping to cheer her up.

Hadley told him just how much she loved him through a teasing, meaningful kiss that seemed to last forever.

Finally, after a long few minutes of perfect kisses and sweet words, Maxx reluctantly dragged himself away. He patted her hip and encouraged her to stand up, so that he could finish a few business calls he’d been meaning to return.

“I’ll go check on your father,” Hadley offered. She was out the door before he could object.

He felt so guilty about leaving his grumbling father in her hands, when he could escape for a few weeks very shortly, that Maxx followed her.

As soon as she reached the library, he could detect the little puffs of smoke that betrayed his father’s secret. He was smoking, trying to hide the illicit activity by sitting in a chair with its back to the door. But, as always, Hadley knew.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she asked as she barged into the room and snatched the cigarette from between his lips. She stubbed it into the ashtray beside his hand, twisting and turning it until there was nothing left but ruins. “Are you trying to kill yourself?”

Maxx stood in the open doorway, shaking his head. He couldn’t believe his dad was being so stupid. He’d just got out of hospital after a panic attack, that even the doctor admitted wasn’t helped by his low blood pressure and bad cholesterol. He’d been advised to quit smoking, drinking, and doing anything that may deteriorate his health.

“It’s only one cigarette, my dear.” Emerson sighed in complaint.

“One cigarette? One cigarette!” Hadley argued, her voice rising until he caught Micah popping his head out of the games room, down the hall.

Maxx waved him away, letting him know it wasn’t anything he needed to worry about. With a nod, he returned to the room and shut the door.

“I don’t believe you. I look after you the best I can and you try to ruin it. One cigarette.” She took a deep breath and grabbed the ashtray. “Well, you tell that to your heart, your lungs, and your colon and we’ll see who’s laughing,” she argued.

Emerson watched her curiously, as she carried the ashtray out of the room, slamming the doors shut behind her with an aggravated scream.

Maxx watched her as she strolled past him, muttering insults and counting to ten, never getting very far before she started muttering again.

A smile crept onto his lips, as he leant against the door frame and folded his arms thoughtfully. She smacked the ashtray on the hallway table and moved again, going into every room and juggling the multiple ashtrays until she had them all.

Restraining his amusement, he caught his father leaving the library and shuffling over to him. “Is she alright?” he asked, guiltily.

Maxx didn’t answer as he watched Hadley cross to the hallway table and drop the ashtrays onto the surface. With sheer determination, she jammed open the front door and turned to Emerson as she lifted one of the twelve glass and wooden ashtrays.

“There…” she began, throwing Emerson’s most prized ashtray out the front door, letting it smash onto the driveway, “will be,” she continued, flying another out the door, “no smoking,” a wooden ashtray sailed across the short distance, smashed into the door, and splintered into pieces on the threshold, “in this house!” she demanded, throwing each ashtray as if it were a mere
Frisbee
, before slamming the front door shut and lifting Emerson’s two bags from the hallway.

Maxx raised an eyebrow, wondering what she was planning to do with those. And when she would grab that brush and bucket to clean up the mess of glass and wood she’d made all over the front porch. She’d never leave it there, the way it was.

She slipped one bag over her shoulder and started to climb the stairs, shouting her objections as she made her way to Emerson’s room. “And you can forget about any kind of special treatment. You can climb the fucking stairs like everyone else,” she argued, ditching his bags in his room before finally retreating into Maxx’s old room before stopping.

With a smile, Maxx pushed himself off the doorway and walked down the corridor. He knocked on the games room door and waited until Micah opened it, gingerly.

“Is it safe?” his little brother asked.

“For now,” Maxx replied, trying hard not to laugh. “Grab Rowan, some rubber gloves, a bucket, and broom. There’s a mess in the front entryway to be cleaned up, and it’s best Hadley isn’t the one to do it,” he explained.

“Right.” Micah nodded, accepting the task without argument. He seemed to realise that if they left it, all it would do was make Hadley feel guilty for a stunning display of emotion.

Maxx was so proud of her. She was finally standing up for herself. Just as long as she didn’t stand up
to him
.