Courageous Love: A Christian Romance Novel (The Hawaii Love Series, #1) (10 page)

The thought of the household clamped down hard on Michelle’s heart. The Trinity Ranch household included the ranch hands, the staff, and, of course, Larry and Elizabeth Clements. It also included Lilo, who would not be here to greet her.

“Ano,” Michelle asked as they got closer to the house. “How is my father?” She knew Ano would be honest with her.

“He’s grumpy Michelle,” Ano replied. “It’s because of the financial problems the drought has caused.” Michelle looked around, noticing the bare patches in the pasture. She had heard things about the lack of rain and how it caused some of the ranches to go under, but she didn’t know the impact it had on Trinity Ranch. At least, she didn’t know yet.

Ano continued, “Your father is really counting on the pilot grass fed cattle program to work so it can save this place.” Ano nodded in the direction of the ranch and the acres of pasture.

Michelle wasn’t sure, but it sounded like things were pretty precarious at the ranch. A whole new set of worries rose up in her. Her relationship with Luke, the pregnancy, her job, her grandmother ... and now the thought of her family losing the ranch. It was all too much.

Ano led Michelle into the house and set her luggage in the entranceway. Before she could take another step, Michelle was swallowed up into the arms of Kahili, the family cook. “Oooohhhh, looooky at youuuuu!” squealed Kahili. To an outsider, the voice sounded like it came out of a fairy or an elf instead of the two hundred pound, four foot nothing Japanese cook that had fed the Clemens family for decades. As soon as she emerged from Kahili’s hug, Michelle saw Elizabeth and the two burst into tears. Eight long years of separation poured from their eyes as the two embraced.

“I can’t believe you’re back,” Elizabeth said, stroking Michelle’s long brown hair. “It’s been too long.”

“I know Mom,” Michelle answered, wiping the homecoming tears from her cheeks. “How is Grandma Lilo?”

The mood turned from joyous to serious. “Things don’t look good, Michelle,” said Elizabeth. “We’ll head to town and go visit her at Kahuku Medical Center later this evening.”

Elizabeth stopped stroking Michelle’s hair as Michelle pulled back. The tension in the room was palpable as Larry Clemens entered and stopped short. A look of surprise flashed across his face but was instantly replaced with calm, stoic composure.

“Michelle,” he said, not revealing a speck of emotion. “It’s been a long time.”

Michelle responded with the same cool distance. “I agree, it has been.” She stood perfectly still as her mother, Ano and Kahili watched in silence. “You look good,” Michelle said. “A little older, but good.” She wasn’t sure why she added that last part in, but she did.

Larry didn’t offer any compliment but instead began the inquisition. “Why isn’t Justin with you?”

Michelle glanced at her mother, certain that she had not revealed anything to Larry. She felt shame flush her cheeks and chastised herself for feeling that way. She was a grown woman, and her relationships were her business. She might feel shame, but that was between her and God. Shame, thought Michelle. Thoughts of Luke and her pregnancy crowded in but she pushed them aside and continued on. “I left Justin. We haven’t been together for some time.”

“I told you so,” Larry didn’t miss a beat. Elizabeth rolled her eyes and watched Michelle as she recoiled from her father’s callousness. “You should have listened to me. But no, you thought you knew better and look how it turned out.” Larry strode past Michelle as he berated her. “You should have listened to me.”

“Larry, stop it,” interrupted Elizabeth. “Can’t you be nice? Michelle hasn’t been home in eight years. Can’t you bury the past now that she has returned?’

“I was so disappointed. I had such high hopes for you. I had big plans for you with Kana, with the farm ...” Larry went on, ignoring the pleas from his wife.

Michelle turned to her mother with fresh tears in her eyes. “This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have come.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have,” added Larry, bitterness on his tongue. “Maybe you shouldn’t have come home to disgrace us again.”

“You’re right father,” Michelle said, tears overflowing. She looked at her mother one more time and then rushed out the door, adding, “It was a mistake to come home.”

Elizabeth followed after her, catching her on the steps of the front porch while Larry stormed back into the rear of the house followed by Ano. Kahili shook her head slowly and bustled off into the kitchen, closing the front door as she went.

“Michelle,” Elizabeth patted her daughter’s back. “Michelle, give him some time. He’s just surprised to see you. I wasn’t sure whether I should tell him or not and figured it would be best to just see what happened. He’s so worried about the ranch, and now about Lilo. You know that deep down he loves you.”

Michelle looked up at her mother, eyes rimmed with red. “It doesn’t seem like it,” she said, trying to catch her breath. “It doesn’t seem like it at all.”

Elizabeth tried to console her daughter. She wrapped her arm around Michelle and led her up to her childhood room to get her settled in. When Elizabeth left, Michelle sat on the bed and looked around. Memories came flooding back again. Pictures of her on the horses and with the farm animals adorned the walls. Snapshots of Kaiko and her on the beach hung above her mirror. She laid on the bed and caught sight of a framed picture of Justin and her on her nightstand next to a ceramic cross that she had made in art class. Michelle turned the picture face down, rolled over and closed her eyes.

She thought of the pictures of her childhood. She thought of Justin and how that one decision had changed her relationship with everyone in her family. Michelle knew that her brother and sister, who she also hadn’t seen in eight years, would eventually be coming back to the house. Her brother was off at medical school and her sister was attending the University of Washington. Things had been easier for them than they had been for Michelle. Once Michelle had made the decision to leave, her father had lost faith in all the children, and there was no pressure on any of them to take over the farm. Instead, Larry had insisted that they go to college, and unlike Michelle, finish college. Then, and only then, would they be welcome back to the home and into the family business in some capacity. If they chose not to work for Trinity Ranch, they would forfeit their share in the family farm now and in the future. Michelle had kept in touch with both of them by phone and to this day, neither had decided whether they would come back and be part of the business or not. But Michelle knew if Lilo didn’t make it, they would come home for certain.

Michelle rolled over again and let her eyes rest on the ceramic cross. The white plaster was shiny and smooth. Michelle picked up the cross and held it against her heart. She closed her eyes and prayed to God. “I don’t know where you are or where you have been lately, but I need you now. I need you to help me stay strong while I’m here. Help me deal with my father. Help me accept this pregnancy and the uncertainty that comes with it.” Michelle sighed, not sure whether God was listening to her or not. “And God, please, please help my Grandma Lilo. She has been nothing but good and kind her whole life. And if I ever needed her in my life, it is now. Amen.”

Michelle placed the cross back on her nightstand and closed her eyes. All the traveling and emotional upheaval had worn her out to the point of being too tired to sleep. Instead, she thought of the day’s events. She thought of the flight to Honolulu and the two thugs at the bus station. She thought of the shuttle and bus ride to Haleiwa. She pictured Kaiko’s sweet face and was thankful for Kana’s help with her luggage. And then she remembered the ruggedly handsome man at the airport. Michelle wondered who he was, where he was going, and if she would ever see him again.

“M
ichelle? Michelle, dinner time!” Kahili’s voice rose up the stairwell and woke Michelle. She had dozed off and hadn’t even thought about dinner. She opened her eyes and looked across the room as the whitewashed clock came into focus. Seven-fifteen. She wondered what time the visiting hours ended at the hospital.

“Feast for all!” yelled Kahili one more time. That was her favorite way to announce meals when Michelle was growing up. Lottie, Michelle’s younger sister and Larry Jr., Michelle’s brother, would come running in from wherever they were on the farm when they heard Kahili’s voice ring across the fields announcing food.

It had been years since Kahili called for the children, and by the smile on her face, she was only too happy to do it tonight. “Wooeeeee that feels good!” she squealed, placing hot plates of steaming biscuits and ham on the table. “I just wish you were all here to enjoy my delicious cooking!” Kahili teased as she bustled about the dining room.

“Thank you Kahili,” said Michelle, pulling out the chair she had sat in most of her life. The dining room table had been there since Michelle could remember. She scooted her chair up to the plate and noticed the markings in the oak table. She saw deep grooves that she and her siblings had battered into it over the years. She saw scratches made from scissors and other instruments used to craft dozens of school projects. The indentations brought back bittersweet memories of her childhood. Michelle remembered sitting around the table with her mother, Kahili and Lilo, decorating cookies and making sweet confections. She could almost smell the coconut in the air and taste the lemon. The solid table had seen many good and bad times over the years.

The table was where Larry Jr. had confessed to the family that he broke the plough Ano had spent hours fixing. The same table was where everyone sat when mother told them she was pregnant when Michelle was just eight. And just months after, father sat them all down again to the dining room table to break the news that the baby would not be coming. Memories of Larry’s mother Lorelei came back to Michelle. Her stern but gentle face appeared, and Michelle remembered holiday meals with her, Grandpa George, Lilo, her parents and siblings at the table. And then the final memory. The night Michelle told her father that she would not marry Kana. Michelle’s brother and sister had been sent to their rooms, and Michelle sat at the table with her parents.

“No, Father!” Michelle cried indignantly. “I don’t love him and will never love him. I don’t even like him!”

“Don’t say that Michelle!” yelled her father. “You have known him your entire life, and he is the man I’ve chosen for you. His family is like family and you will marry him!”

Michelle closed her eyes and let the fragrant aroma of the delicious feast crowd out the bad memories of her fight with her father. That last evening at the table had ended worse than it started. After Michelle had vocalized her defiance, her father laid into her.

“You will do as I say. You will do as God commands and honor your father and mother. I refuse to have a daughter that disgraces this family.” Larry slammed his thick hand hard against the dark oak.

“Well,” said Michelle in her final act of independence. “Then I guess I’m not your daughter anymore.” She jumped up from the table and ran to her room, with her mother on her heels. The night ended in tortured silence with Michelle barricaded in her room on the phone to Justin after her parents went to bed. Lottie, who was only a teenager at the time, had come in to see if Michelle was alright.

“Michi,” as she called her, “Father is very upset. What are you going to do?” Lottie’s big brown eyes were full of fear and worry. She looked up to Michelle and always had.

“I don’t know Lottie,” Michelle lied. She had already sealed her fate on the phone with Justin. The plans were made and the two of them would be meeting at the airport in the morning. Michelle looked at Lottie’s scared face and called her close. “Come here,” she said, pulling Lottie into her embrace. “Everything will be fine. Just remember, honor Mother and Father.” The two girls held each other and then Michelle released Lottie with a soft kiss on her head.

“Now,” Michelle said, sending her off gently, “Time to get to bed. I love you, Lottie.”

Lottie turned and looked at Michelle. “I love you too Michi.” The door closed quietly, and Michelle cried softly. She knew Lottie and Larry Jr. would be hurt by her departure, but she felt she had no choice but to leave. If she didn’t steal away with Justin now, she might never have the courage to do so.

“Amen,” said Elizabeth, closing the dinner prayer. Michelle snapped out of her thoughts and was back at the table looking at the delicious meal Kahili had prepared for her homecoming.

“Thank you, Kahili,” said Michelle as the happy cook heaped a large portion of ham and pineapple on Michelle’s plate.

“You’re so very welcome my little one,” Kahili said as she continued serving Michelle’s parents.

“So,” Elizabeth began quietly, “I don’t know how your grandmother will be feeling. The last time we spoke to her she was very tired and was in and out of sleep.” Elizabeth played with her food.

Michelle looked up at her mother. Elizabeth’s eyes were sad. Michelle thought about Lilo and how hard it must be for her mother. Lilo and Michelle were close that was certain. But Lilo and Elizabeth were even closer. Lilo had Elizabeth when she was very young, and the two were almost like sisters. They had practically grown up together. Elizabeth idolized Lilo. As Lilo aged, her agility, intellect, and grace seemed to grow rather than wither. With each passing year, Elizabeth became more enthralled with her mother’s character as a woman of integrity and faith. Michelle always looked up to Elizabeth too. But for the first time, Michelle saw Elizabeth as frail and fragile. She saw the fear in her mother’s eyes and realized that Elizabeth was just a little girl inside too. And she was afraid to lose her mother the same way Michelle was afraid to lose her grandmother.

Michelle reached over, grabbed her mother’s hand and gave it a squeeze. She smiled slightly as a tear rolled down her mother’s cheek. Elizabeth returned the squeeze and then released her hand, beginning to play with her food again.

“We’ll go at eight,” is all Larry said. Michelle kept her head down as she glanced across at her father. He focused intently on his food and never once lifted his eyes. No more words were spoken throughout the meal, and the only sounds were those of the silverware scraping the plates.