Course of the Heart (11 page)

“You cheated,” he managed to whisper, but joined in and moved with her until she could move no more, and collapsed against his chest. He placed his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close and began laughing. “Are you trying to kill me?”

She laughed. For a long while they sat in the cockpit, holding each other. Her smile faded as the reality of the situation caught up with her. Soon, the tears came and dampened his chest.

He never said a word. He just tightened his grip on her as they watched the sun sink into the azure sea.

After bathing and shampooing each other on deck, Drew took Samantha by her hand and led her below to his stateroom. Neither bothered with clothes, as they climbed into his berth and under the covers. He could think of many things he wanted to say to her, but chose to remain quiet, following her lead. Her tears continued and he fought his own as he held her while she found her way to sleep. For a long while he listened to her breathing and fought to label his feelings. He hadn’t expected the lovemaking to be so intense, so good. And he hadn’t expected to want to be around her as much as he did. But most of all he hadn’t expected to have such difficulty letting her go; even though he knew it was the best thing for her and that the time to let her go was inevitably close.

Even with the wind dying down, there would be nothing keeping them from tying up at Great Exuma before noon the next day.

He finally began to feel drowsy, when she awoke. She kissed him and pulled him over to her. For a long while he made slow deliberate love to her without release, holding her close and kissing her softly. As he tired, he pulled her over on top of him and became sleepy again after feeling her breathing change.

Although he fought sleep in an effort to hold onto every remaining minute with her, he soon drifted away, ever aware that his manhood lay flaccid, still inside of the woman with whom he had fallen helplessly and idiotically in love.

Chapter 9

Drew tied the last cleat off late morning at Emerald Bay marina on Great Exuma. After checking in with customs, registering at the marina office, securing a slip, and hooking up utilities, he showered and waited for her on deck, as she finished dressing and packing.

He looked around, not at all surprised to see that the facility was at near capacity, and realized he had been lucky even to find a slip. But this was good news in their quest to remain anonymous. He couldn’t fathom anyone knowing they were there. He was assured that flying out of Exuma would afford her a safe and uneventful escape from the monster that pursued her.

Her safety had become a personal goal for him. In the early days, he had wanted only to get her on her way and get back to his big payoff. The latter days had changed all that. He fought an urge to insist that she tell him where she was going, so he could at least check up on her and be assured that she was safe. But he suspected she would have a different agenda and resist.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

He spun toward the ladder, and his heart skipped a beat. He had a funny feeling in his stomach as he took in her image. Aware that she was a beautiful woman in casual clothes and no make-up, he had not been prepared to see her all dressed up and in travel clothes. In the simple floral dress and with light make-up, she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. He wanted to tell her that, but was having trouble finding words.

“Well?”

“You look . . . stunning.”

“You really think so?”

He nodded. “Absolutely gorgeous.”

From behind her, she produced an oversize straw hat and large frame sunglasses and put them on. “What do you think?”

“If you’re trying to hide behind that tourist get-up, it might just work. But if you’re trying to hide how beautiful you are, nothing will work.”

“That’s sweet.” She stood on tiptoe and kissed him. Despite his efforts to conceal, he found himself turned on. But then again everything she did turned him on. After an awkward moment he was able to tear his eyes away to look behind her.

She anticipated his question. “My bag is in the galley. Didn’t know if you were ready yet.” The smile left her face as the familiar dread crept into his mind.

“When I checked us in, the dock master let me get on his computer and print out a flight schedule from the airport. Apparently anywhere you want to go in the world connects in Miami. And there are two flights in the afternoon from Exuma to Miami. One in an hour and the last one in four hours. Not much urgency to pick one, they tell me neither usually fill up.”

“I vote for the flight in four hours.”

“Good, gives us time to do a little shopping and maybe have a nice meal before you leave.”

“If you’re asking me to dinner, I accept.”

“I am. There’s a nice little place that serves great tuna.”

“Ugh! That’s not funny. I would think of all people you would be sick of tuna.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. You’ve accomplished miracles with that fish.”

“I never in my life want to see tuna again.”

He smiled but couldn’t hold it long. He had never been one to be pretentious. She took off the hat and glasses, took his hand, and led him to the port settee. He blocked images of the last time they had sat there, in the throes of passion. Tears appeared in her eyes. She wiped them away.

“I promised myself there would be no tears.” She looked into his eyes. The funny feeling in his stomach returned. “I want you to know how grateful I am for all that you’ve done to protect this girl.”

“We aim to please.”

“Please, no jokes, Drew.”

He nodded, realizing it was the only way he knew to keep from crying.

“I mean it. I don’t know what I would have done without you. You literally saved my life.” She let go an uneasy chuckle. “And on more than one occasion.”

“I should be thanking you. I truly wouldn’t be here had it not been for you. I don’t think I would have made it without you bringing me back to life after that . . . knife wound. And then pulling me and that dinghy out of the water.”

“And you wouldn’t have that knife wound if it weren’t for me.”

He decided to throw caution to the wind, holding fast to her hand. “Stay with me.”

She hesitated for a long moment and then made at attempt at a smile before lightly shaking her head. “We’re from two different worlds, Drew. I’m just a simple girl who’s trying to find a simple life. The kind of life you’ve apparently spent your whole life avoiding. I don’t think either one of us can change our spots.”

“And you don’t think it would be worth a try?”

She lost the smile and shook her head again. “Drew, how long do you think it would be before you grow tired of me?”

He opened his mouth, but was shushed by her finger on his lips. “Please, let me get this out.”

He glanced down.

“The other day you said you had nothing to offer a girl like me. But in truth, Drew, it’s me who doesn’t have much to offer to you. I have to be honest. I’m not sure I
could
live the life you’re used to. I’m one who
does
need roots and a stable life. I have all the dreams that a lot of girls have. Love. Marriage. Family. Mini-vans and mortgages. Yeah, those kinds of things
do
appeal to me.”

“How do you know I couldn’t want those things, too?”

She touched his cheek with her small soft hand. “You see? You just said it. How do I know you
couldn’t
want it? Look at you, Drew. You’re gorgeous. You’re every woman’s dream. Tall, muscular, long beautiful blond hair with ice blue eyes. Not to mention . . . some other of your attributes. You turn heads everywhere you go. Every woman lusts over you.”

“Why is it so hard for you to see how I feel about you? Do you think what I feel is something that will fade?”

“Can you tell me it won’t?”

He smiled sadly and shook his head. “Samantha, we both know there are no guarantees in life. And this is going to sound like a line, but you’re not like any of the women I’ve ever known. I don’t think you have a clue how beautiful you are. It’s you who’s the whole package. Looks, brains, kindness, consideration, not to mention one helluva sweet body.”

“Bet you say that to all the girls.”

“That’s just it, Samantha. I
don’t
and have never said that to anyone.” He took a deep breath and decided to tell her exactly how he felt, fearing it would change nothing, yet hoping it might mean something.

“Samantha, I—”

“We should go.”

He searched her eyes and surrendered to the hopelessness.

“Yeah,” he said, swallowing a lump that had appeared in his throat. “I guess you’re right.”

The late lunch was quiet. Samantha struggled to keep things light and ignore the ever-increasing pain that centered in her heart. Leaving was for the best—in fact, the only thing to do. But she wanted nothing more than to stay. What she had told him about wanting someone to love–someone to build a home and family with was true. And to have all that with him would simply be a dream come true. But she couldn’t imagine he would want that also, regardless of what he claimed.

Sooner or later, she would lose him. And where would that leave her? The pain was searing now, but the hurt down the road would be more than she could bear. A man like Drew belonged to everyone, yet no one. How could she ever hope that he could be happy with her?

The taxi driver suggested a nice restaurant on the water near the airport and promised to come back for them in an hour and a half. He picked a winner. The food and ambiance were lovely and the weather beautiful. The time had flown, and they were mere minutes away from the driver’s return and then only a few miles from saying their goodbyes at the airport.

He reached across the table and took her hand. Her pulse quickened with his touch.

“Tell me once again why you won’t tell me where you’re headed?”

“Drew, I can’t put you in any more risk. If you don’t know where I’m going, then you can’t come running to save me again, if you have a suspicion that I might be in danger. Brad is
my
problem, not yours. You have enough on your mind with the urn and getting to the British Virgin Islands. I think it’s best to leave things right here. In the long run, it will be best for both of us.”

Most of what she had said was true. She had neglected to add the little tidbit that she had no clue where she was going. But from the look on his face, he was buying her speech. If she could only convince herself. He studied his plate for a moment and then looked at her with those piercing eyes.

“I truly hope you find that dream.”

I thought I had.

“Thank you,” she said, knowing full well it would be a long time, if ever, before she could think about loving anyone as much as she loved him. There, she had admitted it, at least to herself. She was in love with him. Her heart beat faster with that admission.

The server placed the bill on the table. She reached for it, but she wasn’t quick enough. He held it away from her, reached in his wallet and produced a hundred dollar bill and handed it back to the server. “This is a going away present from me to you.”

The driver was waiting, as promised, and they were soon on the way to the airport. Before she could adequately drink in Drew’s image the driver pulled up to the curb, stopped and opened the door for her. He then opened the trunk and produced her bag.

“Well, I guess this is it.” She reached up to kiss Drew.

“Oh, no.” He grabbed her arm and moved them away from the taxi. “You don’t get off that easy.”

“What?”

“I’m staying with you until I see you get on that plane, and until I make sure that no . . . undesirables get on that plane with you.”

“You’re so sweet.” She was glad he would be with her until she boarded. If nothing else it would give her a few more minutes to be with him. Her throat constricted with the thought she was only minutes away from saying goodbye to the one man she had ever truly cared about.

The small airport was abuzz with travelers. She glanced at him and realized that he was scanning the faces of the people around them, as she was. She checked her bag to Miami and they were soon in the waiting area for the commuter flight. Under the pretense that she was hiding her final destination, she had purchased only a one-way ticket to Miami. Truth be known, it gave her an excuse to hide her indecision.

She found little to say as they sat, waiting for the boarding call. She held tight to his hand, trying not to cry. As the agent announced the first boarding call, she lost the battle. She squeezed his hand and glanced through a stream of tears into his eyes. To her surprise they glistened with tears.

“You take care.” She stood. He gently pulled her back into the seat.

“Let’s wait. There’ll be another boarding call. I want to make sure no one we know gets on this flight.”

They watched as several boarded the flight. After a few minutes the agent called for boarding again. Samantha’s heart hurt. A few more appeared in the boarding area and hurried to the gate. The waiting room emptied. Within seconds, the agent spoke loudly into the microphone, looking directly at her, emphasizing that this was the final boarding call.

“I guess this is your last chance to change your mind.” Drew stood. Still holding onto her hand, he walked with her to the gate. When she didn’t answer his implied question, he looked down. “I’ll stay until the door to the gate is sealed. I hope you find what you’re looking for, Samantha. You deserve to be happy.”

She couldn’t speak and instead kissed him lightly on the lips. He kept her near, not allowing her retreat and continued kissing her.

“Miss.” The agent appeared to be losing her patience.

Samantha moved away, reluctantly released his hand as the breath left her. She turned toward the gate and stopped at the door to the ramp, then unable to stop herself she turned back and mouthed,
I love you,
then spun around and hurried down the ramp
.

“Wait!” She heard Drew as the door to the ramp closed behind her. Still finding it difficult to breathe, she walked onto the plane and moved quickly to a back seat.

What have I done?