Courtesan's Kiss (38 page)

Garrett nodded.

“He is kind, even though he would never ever admit it or perhaps does not even realize it. And when he gives you all his attention there is no other thought but you.”

“When you have all his attention?”

“Yes,” she said firmly, “and I will not elaborate on that.”

“No need to, my dear. No need to at all.” Garrett’s devilish laugh was not at all priestly.

“He is not perfect. The ridiculous boxing and those ghastly cigarillos he smokes … and really, does he have no valet? And he must argue with every single thing that I say and tell me that fun is only for children.”

“Not perfect at all,” Garrett agreed. “But it seems you do know him even without conversation.”

“I suppose one would say he is a man of action.”

“And do you love this man of action?”

“I could.”
I do
, she thought, but she would not give even Mr. Garrett that piece of information. “But he does not love me. And that makes it impossible.”

After glancing at a few unappealing portraits from Elizabeth’s time, Mia guessed at the reason for this conversation. “You want me to stop living in sin and marry him.”

“Impossible.” Garrett laughed. “We all live in sin every day. I want you both to be happy.”

“I do not see how it could work.” Her eyes filled with tears again. “I want my own way too much and he is too harsh. Once the fun of sex wears away—though I cannot imagine that happening, but it must—it would be like when he was in Mexicado, but this time there would be no chance of escape.”

Mr. Garrett stopped short and looked at her in amazement. “Has he told you about Mexicado?”

“Only a little.” She would say no more, not wanting to speak of a secret, if that’s what it was.

“With God all things are possible,” Garrett declared with a laugh of pure delight.

She’d heard that before somewhere. From Miss Horner.

“Dear God, woman, don’t you know that even a little of the story is more than he has ever told anyone but me?”

“Really?”

“Yes,” Garrett said with emphasis. “It is a nightmare he does his best to forget.”

“He has not told me everything about his time there.”

“And he may not ever, but please know that if he has spoken of it, you are not some casual flirtation.”

“Perhaps not casual.” She thought of Janina’s mother
and her long
affaire de coeur
with their father. All Mr. Garrett wanted was to have her agree to marry David so the Pennistan family would be at peace again.

“You do not believe he could love you.” He shook his head. “Of course you don’t. You are a woman and must hear the words. You do not understand how a man says ‘I love you.’”

“And I suppose you are intimately familiar with it.”

“I’m a man, aren’t I?”

“Oh, yes,” Mia said. “You certainly are. Beneath your priestly title, I think you are very much a man.” She hoped she didn’t sound flirtatious.

“Exactly. So I speak with authority on the subject.” They were at the door that led to the duke’s apartments, and continued their circuit, now passing marble busts of long-dead Pennistans. “After you left the duke’s study this morning, David told Meryon that he would never accept a guinea from him as long as you were made to feel unwelcome.” He nodded. “That was quite a declaration from a man who came to beg for a small fortune to build his mill.”

“How could he even consider such a sacrifice? There are so many people depending on him. He must not give up.”

They were in front of a picture of four young men. Lynford, David, Jessup, and Gabriel, the four Pennistan brothers in their youth. It must have been before Olivia was born.

Lynford Pennistan looked no more than sixteen.
Which would make David twelve. Even before his maturity, David looked too serious. This must have been just before he left for the navy. Had they had the portrait painted in case he never returned?

“Take a few minutes and think of all the ways David has said ‘I love you.’”

Garrett wandered off as Mia sank onto a bench and stared at the young David.

He had given up his mill for her? Well, he would change his mind about that. It was too important.

But he had come to her last night when Nina had asked, even though he had no doubt she was safe. With that insight, the memories came so fast that they were a jumble in her heart with the refrain “all things are possible.”

He had been there when she awakened from her illness and held her through her awful dreams. He had punched Franklin so she would not bruise her knuckles. He had carried extra handkerchiefs in case she should need one.

He took time to explain the workings of his cotton mill when he must have had more important things to do.

Then there was the time he had stuffed a branch of roses into the carriage so that she would have “something live” to talk to. Could his love be traced back that far?

And,
Dio mio
, most of all when they made love. The truth came out when they were in each other’s arms and it always would. In those moments she had never felt more desired, more treasured, more important than anything else.

A door down the hall flew open and a woman, Olivia Garrett, came running down the hall. She ran into her husband’s outstretched arms and kissed him on the cheek. “Michael, Michael, go find the duke. It’s a boy, a very healthy boy! And Elena made it look easy!”

“A
SIX-HOUR LABOR
!”
Mia knew very little about childbirth, as was appropriate for an unmarried woman, but even she knew that such a short labor was not common.

“Let’s find Lyn!” Olivia insisted. And when Mia would have bowed out of the group, Olivia grabbed her hand and pulled her along. “You are part of the family in all the ways that count! Lyn will be delighted to have you join him.”

Clearly Garrett did not share everything with his wife.

They found Meryon in the receiving room of his suite, looking both dazed and elated. According to this very proud father the boy was already showing his temper, crying—“bellowing” was the word the duke used—to be fed.

The duke was a different man. Almost jolly in his happiness.
It gave Mia hope that Meryon would reconsider his refusal to help David.

After a few minutes of back-slapping and congratulations, Meryon announced, “Elena insists that we have a party this evening in her sitting room. That way everyone can meet the newest Pennistan and we can all toast Elena’s good health.”

That was the signal for all of them to depart. The castle was as alive now as it had been quiet before. Maids hurried down hallways, bobbing curtsies and smiling. The footmen stood alert and volunteered information even when no one asked. Mia debated trying to find David, but then decided it would be better for him if they were not seen together, because, in fact, nothing had really changed between them.

Janina had already laid out four different dresses for the evening. Mia chose the most modest. The color, a pale green with lavish lace ruffles, elevated it from ordinary. She’d thought it too young but now decided it perfect for the occasion at hand. Leaving her hair down, she used two combs fixed with incredibly lifelike artificial flowers, and hoped there would be no mistaking her as the only unmarried woman in the party.

Which was, of course, not the same as innocent, but for tonight she was sure that the duke’s opinion of her affair with David would not even occur to him.

Mia arrived later than the rest the family proper, slipping into the room as champagne was being poured.

The duchess’s bedchamber was filled with people, including the duke’s two other children. Rexton was old
enough to take part in the conversation, but he was standing near the window with David. They were both watching something outside. Alicia was still young enough to hide behind her nurse’s skirt and suck on her knuckle.

Besides the children, it seemed that “family” included any number of upper servants, too, and Mia was sure the younger women were nurses for the various needs of the newest family member.

She accepted a glass of champagne and moved to a spot where she could observe but not intrude. No one called to her to come over and see the child, so she would wait for a quieter moment.

“God save the King!” the duke began. “To Elena!” Everyone cheered and drank again.

As the toasts continued, to the newborn and to the Pennistan name, Mia looked at David and realized he was still standing by the window, but now alone, looking as much an outsider as she was.

He must have felt her gaze because he looked her way. She raised her glass and smiled. “To life.” She murmured the words and he responded in kind. They both drank their own quiet toast, separated by a dozen people but as close as they had ever been.

“T
O LIFE
!” D
AVID THOUGHT
. Here he stood, thinking about the failure of his dearest plan, and Mia reminded him that life is a celebration.

I love that about her
, he admitted to himself. I love her sense of adventure, her vanity, her interest in people, her
choices, both silly and wise. I love the way she gives herself so completely to her music, to fishing, to the people she cares about, to me.

The crowd began to thin and he noticed that the servants had left and the children, including the new babe, had been taken to the nursery.

The duke sat at the foot of Elena’s chaise with that look that David always thought of as a fool’s smile, the besotted expression of one hopelessly in love.

Mia, Olivia, and Michael were smiling fondly at the tableau, and David realized that he was, too.

“I am never going through that again,” the duke declared as though he had done all the work.

“Oh, yes, you are,” Elena exclaimed. “The consequences do not bear thinking about.”

“What consequences? I think that three children are quite enough.”

“You dolt,” Olivia said.

David noticed that Olivia’s insult shocked Mia.

“Lyn,” Olivia went on, “you do know how these things happen. Are you saying you prefer celibacy?”

“I think it’s time to put the champagne away, my dear.” Elena took the glass from her husband’s hand and set it on the table. Lyn tickled his wife’s toes and then kissed her hand.

David wondered if he had ever before noticed how much more relaxed Lyn was when he was with his wife, as though he shed his ducal shell and the person David had known as a boy came out again.

He watched Olivia and Garrett. He could hear Olivia
insisting that despite the long day she wanted to prepare something special for breakfast. Her husband took her hand, kissed it, and said no. They seemed to bicker about it for a moment, and then Olivia nodded grudging agreement.

Is that what the best marriages were? Two people who kept each other in balance, like playing on a seesaw, and seeing how long it could stay level before swooping one way or the other?

Not very long, but if the game was with the right person, he imagined the seesaw could be a lot of fun.

He considered his short but intense time with Mia in terms of the seesaw. Up and down, with very little balance except for their time in bed. And when the horses had taken the carriage on that wild ride. When she had played the guitar that night, aware that he was listening nearby. The time Dilber’s dogs had threatened them. When they had stood before the duke. Had it only been that morning?

He watched Mia and Elena with their heads together, exchanging a proper hug, and then Elena’s farewell. “I will see you tomorrow and you can tell me your plans.”

I’m going to be part of those plans
, David decided. He had thought it once of Bendasbrook: He would be a fool to let this woman go.

But he had to come up with a way to let her think she was making the choice to marry him, instead of doing exactly what he wanted.

With no clear idea how he would make that happen
and the briefest of farewells to Lyn and Elena, David left the couple who, at this point, only had eyes for each other.

Mia had already disappeared from sight. He had an idea where she would be, but the music room was dark. When he sent a footman to her suite, the man came back to report that the rooms were empty.

All right, so he did not know where she was. Damn times ten naked nymphs, the woman never made anything easy. As he rounded the corner to his room, he realized he had not yet checked the most likely spot.

“What took you so long?” Mia asked as he came through the door from his bedroom into his study. She stood near the door to the corridor, as though not fully committed to staying. How unusual.

David went to his desk but remained standing.
What took him so long?
David didn’t answer her. The question could be considered on so many different levels.

He asked a question of his own. “What are you doing here?”

“Was that not the most touching moment between Elena and the duke?” She walked to a shelf and touched a piece of pottery, a rock, and a statue of some ancient Mayan god he had never been able to identify.

“Which moment was that?”

“When the duke tickled Elena’s toes,” she answered as she turned to face him again. “It was such a sweet, intimate gesture. Not at all what I expected from the ogre he is when he thinks like a duke.”