Courting Katarina (15 page)

By the time Alex finished the edging, cleaned the equipment and put everything away, Katarina was grilling teriyaki chicken for the two of them. “I thought we had an agreement about meals.”

Katarina had changed into shorts and a T-shirt. “The recipe makes far too much for just me. I thought it might be nice to simplify things for one night, since you were kind enough to help me with the yard. It took much longer than I expected.”

Alex felt his willpower slipping away with her sudden change of heart. “The grass was pretty long.
If one of us mows every week, it shouldn’t be so bad. Do you mind if I go clean up?”

Katarina shrugged. “Go ahead. This’ll take a while.”

Alex returned downstairs as Katarina started setting the table. “Why don’t we sit outside. Enjoy the hard work you put into the yard before this storm moves in on us.”

Katarina served up her plate and handed him an empty one to serve himself. “What would you like to drink?” The rasp in her voice hadn’t been there earlier, and he wondered if it was a reaction to the dust from the mower, or intentional.

He wiped the cool perspiration from his brow and forced his mind back to the food. “I’d have lemonade if it’s made. If not, water.”

Katarina poured them both glasses of lemonade and carried them outside to the porch. They lingered over dinner, as if neither were as hungry for nourishment as they were for each other’s company. They moved to the swing in the gazebo to watch the sun being chased out by the electrical storm. A few minutes later the landscape lights turned on, giving the yard a gentle glow.

“How is your seamstress working out?”

“Great, you’ll have to meet her. I can’t believe how much more I’m able to accomplish this way. I love her work, and that frees me up to concentrate on the dolls.”

“That’s great. Have you always worked alone?”

Katarina pulled her knees to her chest and Alex kept the swing moving. “In college a few friends helped, but they weren’t as conscientious as I wanted. I decided it was better to do it myself.”

“I’m glad you’re learning to let someone else take a little of your load. You can’t do it all yourself.”

She lifted her chin defiantly. “I’ve done okay so far.”

“I didn’t mean it as an insult.” He rested his hand on her shoulder and moved closer. “I wish you weren’t so defensive. I meant that as a positive. You want your company to grow, and that takes delegation.”

“Then why didn’t you say that in the first place?”

He shrugged. “Guess I need to work on communicating with a woman…and maybe you could accept that not all men are out to hurt you.”

She hugged her legs tighter and rested her chin on her bare knees. “I’m sorry, it’s a natural instinct for me.”

“I’ve noticed.” Alex rubbed the soft skin on her neck and struggled with whether to take the conversation to the next level. “I don’t want to hurt you, Katarina. So if it happens, know that it’s never intentional.”

He knew the pain of losing a father, but he couldn’t imagine how much it hurt knowing her father had chosen to abandon his family. As if that wasn’t painful enough, Katarina had to live with this
constant reminder of her father’s actions. What kind of man could do this to a child?

Alex fought the urge to wrap her in his arms and tell Katarina what a wonderful child her father had created and how angry it made him that the man had caused her such pain.

“May I ask you something, Alex?”

“Of course. What is it?” He searched her face, reaching into her thoughts, offering silent comfort and support to the one woman he longed to love.

“How do you know what God’s will for you is?”

He sucked in a long breath. The answer seemed so simple to one who knew and trusted the heavenly Father. Yet, to Katarina, nothing was simple. Fathers didn’t stick around. Fathers weren’t to be trusted, and she’d made it perfectly clear she didn’t need another. “I asked God to show me what He wanted me to do with my life. For years, that was fighting fires.”

Katarina’s gaze was fixed on him, her eyes betraying the fear inside.

Father, help me to say the right thing
. “Last year, after my accident, I had to sit out the last fire. I lost two close friends and struggled with going back ever since.”

“Is that why you went back? To face your fear?”

Alex shook his head. “I thought I was afraid for a while, but finally realized that wasn’t it. I still love fighting fires, but this time the drive wasn’t there. It wasn’t enough.” He leaned forward and rested his
elbows on his knees. “There was something missing. God and I had quite a few discussions about the matter. I didn’t want to think of life without jumping. Coming back here, I found the missing link—family.”

She looked even more puzzled. “I’m sure this sounds very elementary, but how do you know He’s talking to you?”

“Some people very clearly ‘hear’ a voice. I asked Him to help me to put my own desires aside, to take them away if they weren’t in His plan. As much as I tried to deny His answer, that longing to come back here didn’t go away, and my ‘spark’ for fighting fires went out.”

“Do you miss it now that you’re here?”

He hated to see Katarina hurting. “Sure I do, sometimes. But not the way you might think. I’m very much at peace with the decision. I miss the jumps, the beauty, the people. I don’t miss it as much as I enjoy being here.” A long silence stretched between them, and Alex waited, hoping she would say more. “Katarina, God is willing to take your burdens, if you ask Him.”

“That’s what’s so confusing. I’ve done that. And it doesn’t seem like He hears me. Maybe I’m asking for the wrong thing. I don’t understand.”

“He knows your needs. He knows the plans He has for you and your future.”

“I thought it was to sell my designs, but that obviously wasn’t it. Now I don’t know what He has
in store. Ron keeps pushing in one direction, and that makes sense, but it’s not working out at all according to our plans.”

Alex felt a slight twinge of guilt that their plans weren’t going well, but it went away quickly. As long as she and Ron were out of sorts, there was hope.
Your will, Father, not mine
. “I hope hiring help means you’ll be able to take a little more time to relax.”

“This from a man who spent days on end fighting fires without sleep? And who’s going to be staying on his next job site in order to put in more hours?” she teased.

Alex placed his hand on the seat behind her and leaned close. “If you object, I can always change my plans.”

Katarina’s blue eyes met his, and the subtle look of amusement faded away. Her demure smile invited him to toss aside his principles and give her a kiss that would make her forget the Boy Scout.

“Tell me that ‘fiancé’ of yours is out of the picture, Katarina, and I’ll be the first to congratulate you. In the meantime, I won’t add to your confusion.”

His words didn’t register on her dizzied senses until he stood up and pulled her to her feet.

“True love has no doubts. True love casts away fear. Listen to your heart. I think you know what it is that God’s trying to tell you. You draw that line, Kat, and I’ll respect it.”

Katarina felt like a fool. She wanted Alex to kiss her, to let his strong embrace comfort her and let her feel special, if only for a few minutes.

“Go on inside, Alex. Please. I want to be alone.” She turned her back to him and stared into the stormy sky.

Alex rested his hands on her shoulders. “You’re never alone, Kat. Our heavenly Father is always with you.” His comforting words were a warm blanket around her. And then he left.

She leaned against the post and let the breeze cool her. Lightning crackled and sliced the sky, and turned the darkness into a spectacular light show. Katarina looked at Alex. The shadow of his lean, rugged body filled the patio door.

Raindrops pelted the gazebo, splatting against the lattice walls in a squall that lasted less than five minutes and did little more than tease regarding the much-needed moisture. She brushed the mist from her face and noted Alex was still there. Was he watching the storm? Or her?

Oh, Alex, where were you when Ron came along?

Chapter Fifteen

“C
ome on, Kat, we want you to come. It’s Kevin’s birthday,” Emily begged.

“You won’t miss me.” Katarina was thankful that she didn’t have to face Alex that next morning. He’d already left for Adam’s when she awoke. She wondered idly what he had been thinking since she’d asked him to leave the gazebo. She’d been sure he was going to kiss her. And her embarrassment refused to go away.

Emily continued chopping vegetables. “We will, too. And you’ve been looking forward to camping. Come on. What’s wrong? Did something happen between you and Alex?”

You read minds now, Dr. Emily?
“No, nothing happened.”

“Then what is it?” Emily’s voice took on that all-knowing-big-sister tone.

Katarina laughed sarcastically. “Don’t you dare get that tone with me.”

Emily smiled. “Sparks are flying, aren’t they? Surely I don’t need to tell you, the ‘heart specialist,’ that Alex is a wonderful guy.”

“Yeah, a real Boy Scout.”

Emily nudged Katarina with her hip. “Come on, tell me what’s going on.”

She turned serious. “I did tell you. Nothing.” Kat hesitated, feeling her face flush all over again at her sister’s stare of disbelief. “Okay. I thought he was going to kiss me, and he backed away at the last minute, because of Ron.”

“Really? That’s…nice of him.” Emily said, clearly as puzzled as Katarina. “I mean, chivalrous, I guess.”

“It was for the best. Now you see why I don’t want to go. I mean, I’m the one who is supposedly committed to Ron, and I wanted Alex to kiss me.”

“You’re not even sure you want to stay with Ron, are you?”

Silence.

“Be honest, Kat. You’re having doubts, aren’t you?”

True love has no doubts
. Katarina shook her head.
If that’s true, Alex, I couldn’t truly love you, either
. “We’ve been together for nearly two years. It’s…”

“A safety net. That’s all. Ron and you share none of the passion, for anything, that sustains a marriage. He’s convenient. He doesn’t challenge your comfort zone. He doesn’t enjoy any of the things you do.
Kat, you wouldn’t be happy with him. Tell me, did you have a wonderful time when he came to visit?”

“Passion wasn’t enough for Dad, either.”

Emily looked out the window again, checking on Ricky in his new sandbox. “Don’t try to figure out what went wrong for Mom and Dad. We only know Mom’s side of the story—which is very biased. You can’t live in the past.”

“Those who forget the past are destined to repeat it.”

Emmy held up her hands in defeat. “Don’t live in fear of repeating it. Change history, Katarina. Do you even love Ron?”

The words wouldn’t come from Katarina’s mouth. She took a drink of water and looked at Emily. “I thought so.”

“Until?”

“I met Alex.” Emily said nothing. “And it scares me.” Katarina gathered the chocolate chip cookies from the cooling rack and put them in a bag. “Alex has just left a career that he loved so much that he stayed single in order to continue the job. I know he’s very happy working with Kevin, too, Em, but… I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“All I’m hearing is fear, Kat. And pretty lousy reasons not to take a chance on someone you care for, I might add. What is it that attracts you to him?”

Katarina leaned her head back on the sofa and closed her eyes. “He’s so thoughtful, and friendly, protective.” The words flowed easily. “He’s analytical,
and open, funny, energetic and strong—not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. He’s so easy to talk to.” Katarina opened her eyes. “Now I sound like that lovesick eighteen-year-old again.”

Emily laughed softly. “Not quite. When you were eighteen all you noticed was that he was a hunk. You didn’t even mention that today.”

Katarina blushed. “Well, that goes without saying.”

“So what’s the worst thing that could happen, Kat?”

They both knew the answer to that one.

Without saying another word, Emily started carrying the gear to the Suburban. “Come help, then we’ll go get your things packed. I’m not leaving you home alone on the Fourth of July.”

When they arrived at Whispering Pines Ranch two hours later, Alex, Kevin and Adam were waiting to unload the food and sleeping bags. Six tents littered what looked like a pasture with split rail fences surrounding it. Beyond the next fence, horses whinnied. Behind the house were some sort of camp stove and tables under a green-and-white-striped awning.

Kevin and Emily greeted each other warmly. “Come on, you two, it’s only been two days since you’ve been apart,” Adam interrupted. “Love, it’s pathetic.” He winked at Katarina. “Let me show you where to set that.” She followed the youngest MacIntyre into the old house.

Avoiding Alex was easy, thanks to Ricky. The
little boy had obviously found his own hero. Adam carried the coolers to the kitchen and helped Katarina move the perishables into the refrigerator while Kevin helped Emily “situate” their tent. Alex took Ricky to check out the guys’ tent.

Mrs. MacIntyre came into the kitchen while Adam went for the next load. “It’s so good to have you join us, Katarina. I wish your younger sister could have come.”

Kat smiled at Alex’s mother. “I’m sure Lisa would love it here. She’s always searching for a beautiful focal point for her camera. Whispering Pines fits that bill.”

“Poor Adam fell in love with this place as a boy. He had no idea he’d be stuck with me, too.”

Alex and Ricky appeared, each carrying grocery sacks. “Yeah, poor, poor, Adam. He’s stuck, all right. Trying to keep up with his mother is tough on the kid.”

Millie smiled as Alex wrapped his arm around his mother’s shoulders. She jabbed him in the ribs. “I didn’t see you passing me up yesterday.”

Adam walked through the door, laughing. “Yeah, bro. You ought to talk!”

“Hey, it’s not my fault you gave me old Gertrude. I could have beat the both of you if I’d had your mount.”

Alex looked happier than she’d ever seen him. He looked at Katarina, his blue eyes piercing the distance between them. “Come on up to the pasture, and I’ll show you to your palace, ma’am. It has a
bit different accommodations than our last camp-out, as I recall.”