Courtly Love (35 page)

* * *

Three days after the birth Nellwyn returned to Broughton with Alan in tow. Her face flushed with exertion, Nellwyn burst into Serena's chamber with a glad cry.

"Where be the wee lord, lamb? I daresay there be none here who could properly care for him no matter what ye say, so I came with or without Lord Gyles's leave. Alan I brought along, for 'tis none too soon for him to meet his brother." Nellwyn pointed at the wet nurse in outrage. "You! What be ye doing here? Lady Serena will have no need of ye, will ye, lamb?"

Gyles looked as if he were trapped in the midst of a sudden storm and Serena smothered a laugh.

"Nellwyn, I am most pleased to see you as well, but Evan's wet nurse is here at my request and you will treat her kindly. Evan is in his cradle, sleeping, so you and Alan may see him if you wish."

Nellwyn descended upon the cradle in a flurry of skirts, while Alan followed more slowly. Cautiously, Alan peered over the carved wooden side and examined his sleeping brother. Behind him, Serena and Gyles exchanged a knowing look before Alan turned and hesitantly approached the bed.

"What do you think of your brother?" Gyles inquired.

Alan darted a look over his shoulder to Nellwyn who was still exclaiming over the babe, then lifted his shoulders in a shrug.

"I know not how I shall manage when we return home, Gyles," Serena began thoughtfully. "Catherine has been so helpful with Evan—and you know I haven't regained my strength yet."

"Wha—" Gyles started to protest. Serena's health had rapidly improved in only three days. In truth, the young wet nurse was proving unnecessary since Serena insisted upon nursing Evan herself. He caught Serena's warning frown and gave a slight nod of understanding. "Well, perhaps we could find someone at Camden?"

"Someone extremely trustworthy," Serena agreed, teeth tugging at her lower lip.

"What's trustworthy?" Alan piped up. He clambered onto the bed beside Serena, smiling happily when her arm went around his shoulder.

"It means I need someone I can depend upon, someone who will help me take care of Evan. Your brother, Alan, is too small to care for himself like you do; Evan has to be fed, dressed, held, played with, so he can grow to be as strong as you."

Alan cast a wary eye at his father who smiled and tousled Alan's hair. "Am I trustworthy?"

"Indeed you are, son," Gyles replied. "Did Nellwyn not entrust her life to your care for the journey here?"

Alan pondered that for a moment—the babe had caught him unaware, for Alan had never thought there would be another child who would rival him for Serena's and his father's affections. It had been painful to be separated from them and sent to Normandy, but Alan had endured that stoically, for Serena had promised he would soon return to Camden. And so he had, Alan thought with a quick flash of joy, Serena had kept her word. Alan glanced once more over his shoulder to the sleeping Evan. His little brother was terribly little and helpless and Serena did appear awfully pale and weak.

"You will not have to find anyone, Serena." Alan scrambled off the bed and drew himself up manfully. "Evan is my brother and I shall care for him."

"Thank you, Alan." Serena looked at him seriously. "With your assistance we shall manage admirably."

His mind greatly eased, Alan returned to Nellwyn to tell her of the important duty he had been charged with. Gyles watched Alan peer again into the cradle, feeling the tension ebb from his mind and body. His own past had repeated itself in Alan and Evan—but in Gyles's case Lydia had not been Serena, and in any event perhaps he had already been so embittered by his own bastardy that no amount of coaxing could have persuaded Gyles to give Kier the devotion or love Alan would eventually display for Evan.

"A babe every year, Gyles?" Serena's soft voice brought Gyles from his musings.

"As many as you wish, as often as you wish, cherie." Gyles grinned, then bent to whisper in Serena's ear, "I shall do my best to comply with your demands."

* * *

Serena looked up from the babe at her breast to Gyles, lounging beside one of the arrow slits that ilhiminated her chamber. "Where is Alan?"

Gyles turned with a smile. "Bryan and Catherine have taken him riding. Don't tell me you miss the little scamp, love, he's been under foot for the past fortnight!"

Evan gave vent to a raucous belch and Serena laid him in his cradle then joined her husband. "I had no idea he would take his role as Evan's protector so seriously!" Serena laughed. "But at least Alan doesn't resent Evan, for that I am very grateful."

"I, too." Gyles brought Serena into his arms and captured her lips with his. "I have much to be grateful for, Serena, you above all else," Gyles told her when at last he could speak.

Serena rubbed her nose playfully against Gyles's chest. "So grateful you are already planning your departure," she laughed softly. "You really shouldn't discuss your plans with my brother, Gyles, I have long been able to find out whatever I wished from him."

"Vixen!" Gyles nipped Serena's ear then studied her earnestly. "But I fear I must return to Camden—I have been away far too long and the harvest will soon begin."

"I know, Gyles. Oh, how I long to go with you!" Serena said fervently.

"That is impossible, cherie, you are not yet well enough to consider such a journey," Gyles stated firmly. "I will not have you endangering yourself, much as I want you beside me. Give yourself another month, Serena."

"A month, Gyles! I do not need that much time," Serena protested.

"You do!" Gyles was implacable. "I nearly lost you because of Elspeth and now that I have you back I will not run that risk again. Four weeks is not so long."

" Tis easy for you," Serena grumbled. "At least at Camden you will be free of Aurelia and Beda. How I loathe them! Slipping in here when I am gone on the pretext of playing with Evan. Nellwyn caught them yesterday taking Evan out of his cradle—I do not like it, Gyles!"

"Nor do I," Gyles agreed, "but you can hardly deny them access to the babe."

"I can and I shall!" Blue eyes sparkled angrily. "I won't allow Aurelia to kill my son as she did my father."

"What did you say!" Gyles turned Serena back to face him. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said—Aurelia murdered Father!" Serena spat. "I don't know how, but I am, certain she had a hand in his death. And Father knew it too, at the end; he didn't even want her in his room, but of course she insisted, saying it was her wifely duty. Hah! That one wouldn't recognize a wifely duty if the priest dangled it before her nose!"

"Can you prove this, Serena?"

Anger departed as quickly as it had arrived and Serena gave in to the gentle pressure of Gyles's arms. "No, I cannot prove it," she replied dispiritedly, "I only know what I've told you is true. I could see it in Father's eyes. Do you understand now why I do not wish to remain here?"

"Aye, love, I understand, but that alters nothing. Evan can travel well enough, but you cannot and surely neither Aurelia nor Beda can mean Evan harm. 'Tis not uncommon for a woman, once safely delivered, to imagine—"

Serena tore away from Gyles's embrace. "I am imagining nothing!"

But was that entirely true? Serena wondered as she pressed a hand to her eyes. Ever since Beda had arrived, Serena had had a sense of impending doom. She would awake in the middle of the night with a feeling of terror so great that her throat was constricted to the point where Serena could barely swallow or breathe. At such times Serena would take Evan into the bed with her and weep silently as the babe's breath fell on her cheek. Was she the only one at Broughton who felt this dread of tomorrow? Gyles saw nothing amiss, nor, apparently, did Bryan or Catherine—perhaps it was merely a phantom of her own creation. Was it her imagination that Aurelia and Beda watched her every move?

For herself Serena was not afraid, but there was Evan to consider now, sweet little Evan who trusted all who held him in their arms. Innocent Evan who was helpless against the evil Serena felt invading Broughton.

"When . . ." Serena's voice caught in her throat. "When will you leave?" Why did it seem she was always bidding Gyles farewell?

"I had planned to remain for two more days." Gyles toyed with a strand of Serena's hair. "But if you wish, cherie, I will remain a bit longer."

"No!" The word came out more sharply than she intended and Serena bit her lip in vexation. "Do not alter your plans, but one thing I ask of you: Take Evan with you."

"Serena, you cannot be serious!" Gyles trapped Serena's face in his hands. "Take Evan to Camden without you! The babe must eat—"

"I'll have Nellwyn find a wet nurse. Please, Gyles, take Evan from here."

Sighing inwardly Gyles reflected upon the complicated woman who was his wife. Serena was not given to wild imaginings, but since Beda had arrived, Serena's mind had taken a sinister bend. If taking Evan to Camden would bring her peace . . . "Very well, Serena, I shall do as you ask."

"Thank you," Serena whispered.

Gyles would long remember the look in those azure pools when he agreed to Serena's request.

* * *

The day of departure was warm and clear as Serena bade a tearful farewell to her son.

"Take care of him, Nellwyn, be sure he does not catch a chill the two nights before you reach home." Serena tucked a small blanket more securely around Evan.

"Now, lamb, didn't I see ye and Bryan safely grown?" Nellwyn clucked her tongue disapprovingly. "There still be time to change your mind, ye know. Tis not good taking the wee one away from his mother this soon. I'll gladly stay with ye 'til ye can travel."

"No!" Hastily Serena deposited Evan's basket in Nellwyn's arms and retreated to where Gyles stood with Bryan and Catherine.

"Godspeed, Gyles." Serena handed him the stirrup cup when they were alone.

Gyles drained the cup and set it upon a tray carried by a page. "Serena, are you certain this is necessary?"

"No, I am not at all certain." Serena's eyes filled with tears. How handsome Gyles looked, the gentle breeze ruffling his hair, the helm carelessly held under one arm, those emerald eyes so bright and clear that they fairly pierced her soul. It was as if she were seeing him for the last time and the premonition caused Serena to tremble. "Take care, my love, guard yourself and the children. And love them, Gyles, for they are precious beyond words."

A shadow of emotion chased across Gyles's features. "You know I will, cherie, but you speak as if we were going to be separated for years rather than a few short weeks."

With an effort Serena pushed the nagging fear away and forced a light tone. "What nonsense! 'Tis simply I find separation from those I love intolerable, and those few weeks you speak of will truly seem years to me. Pay me no heed, Gyles, you said yourself I have been moody of late. Now come, kiss me as a husband should and quickly, your men are waiting."

"As a husband and quickly?" Gyles teased a curl that fell over Serena's shoulder. 'The two are quite different, but I shall do my best." And he did with such vehemence that the embrace lasted far longer than intended, leaving Serena breathless and Gyles cursing his binding clothing. Against her lips, Gyles whispered, "Recover soon, love, I have been celibate far too long." "I shall. God protect you, Gyles."

S
erena's days fell into a listless pattern—Bryan was busy with the upcoming harvest, Catherine ran Broughton's household affairs with an efficiency that required no aid, so Serena was left to her own devices most of the time. Beda and Aurelia prowled the castle like two hounds who had suddenly lost the scent of their prey, watching, it seemed, Serena's every move until she felt she would scream. Serena's only escape was her chamber and she took to barring the door when she retired for the evening. But Serena told no one of her precautions, fearing Bryan would laugh at her as Gyles had done.

Letters from Camden arrived often, which made Serena think the messengers in Gyles's livery must soon drop from exhaustion. Serena replied to every letter, filling her own missives with inquiries about Alan and Evan and light anecdotes of life at Broughton. If her letters held a forced gaiety, Gyles appeared not to notice, which increased Serena's determination to put aside her private fears. After all, three weeks had passed since Gyles's departure and nothing had come of Serena's forebodings —indeed, she was becoming bored with her indolent existence.

"But, Bryan,'' Serena pleaded one morning when they had broken their fast; Aurelia and Beda having quit the table to go riding. "Gyles did not mean for me to be denied all forms of exercise!"

"You are not denied all exercise, sister mine." Bryan reproved her with a grin. "You have your walks."

"Walks!" Serena gave a snort of disgust. "It has been five weeks since Evan's birth, I am fully able to sit a horse now—and were you not so stubborn I could have left for Camden by now."

"Gyles said four weeks and four weeks it shall be," Bryan insisted.

"Oh, heavens, Bryan, let Serena ride!" Catherine put aside a piece of tapestry and glared at him. "It won't hurt her in the least, she's not made of parchment after all. And either you allow Serena to ride or she'll bully your men into letting her take sword practice again."

Bryan slammed a fist on the table and Serena hurried to placate him. "It wasn't sword practice, Bryan, 'twas archery and I bullied no one."

"I ought to lock you in your room!" Bryan roared. "Of all the harebrained stunts—"

"Oh, do be quiet, Bryan, you are giving me a headache." Serena made a wry face. "And Gyles wouldn't like that either."

"You are—" Bryan stopped as a familiar figure entered the hall.

"Richard!" Serena was on her feet in an instant and across the hall. "How wonderful to see you! Where have you been?"

Bryan restrained the urge to pull Serena away from Richard's arms and instead greeted him levelly. "Welcome, Richard. This is a most unexpected surprise."

"I would have come sooner, but we have been plagued with a band of thieves these past weeks." Richard smiled easily, yet Serena sensed an undercurrent between the two men. "Serena, my dear, you appear fully recovered from your ordeal."

Serena decided to ignore the endearment—Richard was an old family friend. "So I am, Richard, as I have been trying to convince Bryan. Do you know he won't even allow me to ride?"

"For shame, Bryan, how can you be so heartless? You can see for yourself how well Serena is." Richard's arm fell to Serena's waist and he dropped a kiss on her cheek, causing her to recoil slightly.

"I am following Gyles's instructions," Bryan glowered. "He wants Serena in the best of health when she returns to Camden."

Richard stiffened briefly. "I can well imagine. However, that is of no concern now—what is important is that Serena wishes to ride, so . . ." He turned to Serena with a smile. "Shall we indulge your whim, m'lady?"

Her eager consent was overriden by Bryan, and Serena glared wrathfully at her brother.

"Short of clapping Serena in irons there is little I can do to prevent her acceptance, however I do have one condition. Postpone your outing 'til this afternoon and I shall accompany you."

"But of course!" Serena exclaimed, relieved that Bryan had conceded defeat. "And, Catherine, you must come, too."

"I thank you, but no." Catherine laughed. "I have far too many things here that need to be done. Mayhap tomorrow."

"By all means, tomorrow," Richard murmured distantly as he looked blankly at Catherine. With an effort he collected his thoughts. "A game of chess, Bryan? My father isn't nearly the opponent you are. Serena, love, why don't you rest 'til our ride, I don't want to overtax your strength."

Serena eyed Richard curiously, bridling under the patronizing tone in his voice. "That won't be necessary, Richard, I—" .

"My dear, of course it is." Richard sounded shocked that Serena should defy him, and he placed a hand beneath her elbow and propelled her to the staircase. "Rest well, Serena."