Read Courtship of the Cake Online
Authors: Jessica Topper
Nothing a grande latte and a lemon poppy seed muffin wouldn't fix. Ring?
Check.
Dress?
Check.
Phone? Useless, but I had time to power up before boarding. Boarding pass: nowhere to be found.
Are you kidding me?
I could practically hear my mother's voice as I retraced my steps, back through Starbucks and over to the newsstand. “I swear, Laney, you'd lose your
tuchus
if it wasn't stamped on the back of you!” No boarding pass tucked between the trashy novels I had contemplated buying for a beach read. I checked the perfume counter where I had impulse-purchased Aquolina Pink Sugar because no one was around to judge me . . . no sign of it. Nor was it in the restroom, first stall on the right.
I was a ticketed passenger without a ticket.
“Not a problem, we can certainly print a new one up for you, Ms. Hudson.” The attendant at the gate clacked manically at her keyboard. “I may even have an upgrade for you. That way you'll be closer to your gown if there's room for it in the first-class closet.”
“It's myâ” I paused. If I had to be the dress bearer while my mother globe-trotted around with her sugar daddy fiancé, shouldn't I at least milk it for all it was worth? I had lost a boot heel and a boarding pass, but gaining a first-class seat would more than make up for it. “It's my first time on a plane,” I finished, flashing pearly whites to go along with my little white lie. “That would be terrific, thank you.”
“Oh, then you definitely deserve a bumping up, Miss Bride-to-Be!” she enthused. “I won't know until boarding time, so I'll call you to the desk then, okay?”
“Sounds good.”
I made a beeline into the waiting area, in search of my favorite comfy seat and a power source. Between touring on the road with Allen's band and escorting him down to that medical trial in Philadelphia, I was actually a frequent traveler through this particular waiting lounge.
The airline had pairs of great square chairs near the windows, in padded black leather with electrical outlets built right into the armrests. Unfortunately, the only free one was next to a guy in a matchy-match gray suit, draining half the tristate's electric grid. Not only was he hogging both armrest outlets, with his fancy phone and his tablet charging, he was also typing one-handed on a laptop balanced on his knee, its power cord like a tightrope that I had to maneuver past just to get close to the empty seat. At close range, his cologne was a force field I had to skirt around. A hands-free device winked from behind a lock of his thick jet-black hair like a glowing blue locust. This guy was wired to the gills and completely self-absorbed within his sensory-overload bubble.
I made a production of carefully draping the garment bag across the chair before plopping myself down on the floor near the one wall outlet he wasn't zapping power from. New text messages from Danica lit up the minute I plugged in.
Where are you!?!?! TEXT ME.
Sorry, needed to find a plug. Evil supervillain is harnessing all airport energy at his superbase to fuel his death ray.
Tech-Boy had stopped typing. I stole a glance. Maybe that was no ordinary Bluetooth device in his ear: could it read my thoughts?
Or my texts?
English, please?
Dude totally hogging the outlets at my gate. And now he is staring at me.
Oh. :-) Is he cute?
I flicked my eyes up nonchalantly. He now had his cell phone in his hand and was frowning at the screen as he loosened his tie.
A little like Keanu.
Pre-Matrix or post-Matrix?
Pre-Matrix. But with more technology. And more hair.
LOL. Take a pic!
Are you THAT bored in Hawaii already? What time is it there, anyway?
Laney! Come on. Pic or I don't believe you.
The stuff I do to amuse you, Dani.
I nonchalantly angled my phone and pretended to admire my toes, freshly shellacked in a blue the color of sea glass, and stealthily captured him still in frowning mode. Three button pushes later, his picture was in Hawaii, in my best friend's waiting hand. Gotta love technology.
Pretty hot. I like the scruff.
I snuck another peek. I liked it, too. It was a nice contrast to his high cheekbones.
Maybe I should go buy him an electric razor so he can have one more thing to plug in.
Ha! Maybe he'll be sitting next to you.
Just what I don't need. Thanks.
Come on. Live a little. Think WWDD.
What Would Dani Do? You'd probably be joining the Mile-High Club with some sexy pilot.
LOVE a man in uniform! LOL. But no, not exactly . . . I would keep my eyes open, tho. And you should, too. You're one bad sweater away from becoming a crazy cat lady, you know.
I frowned, glancing down at the long, gray, belted cardigan I had picked for my traveling ensemble. After a day of criminal-butt-whooping badassery, I could totally picture Wonder Woman or Supergirl kicking back to relax in such a thing. It was comfy and hip when paired with my black leggings and high black leather boots . . . although my boots were no more. True, I had picked the sweater's neutral color with the thought in mind that it wouldn't show cat hair as much as black would.
One cat does not a crazy cat lady make, Dan.
Wait, I thought you had three cats.
No, Sister Frances Tappan Zee Got Milk just has a really long name.
LOL. Whatevs. You're about to board a jet for a grand adventure, Laney. At least take off Allen's stupid ring.
I bit the raised stone on the ring guiltily. Even from the middle of the Pacific Ocean, my best friend knew me all too well. The peridot was warm against my lips, but the metal was cold. It was a subject I really didn't feel like talkingâor textingâabout. I deleted her last comment and changed topics.
They want to upgrade me AND the dress to first class. Isn't that a scream?
Cool. Will it get you here any faster? Cuz your mom is already driving me crazy! Tell me again why she didn't just have her wedding on Long Island. There's a perfectly good beach, like, a mile from your house.
You know my mom . . . she was worried people would get stuck in traffic on the L.I.E.
I sent the last text and smiled, picturing Danica laughing at the
absurdity of Hawaii being an easier commute than the Long Island Expressway.
A half hour till boarding time. Reaching into my bag, I pulled out my sketchpad, a fresh Faber-Castell 2B, and my earbuds. Music was essential when I worked, especially with Tech-Boy keeping up his staccato one-hand typing trick just inches away from my eardrums. Using my legging-clad knees as my easel, I began to flesh out an elaborate throne. Coils of wire and tubing emanated from every crack and crevice; if I had my colors handy, I would ink them in neon yellow or toxic green, perfect for the supervillain siphoning all the world's energy for his death ray.
I bit my lip into a smile as I sketched, my lines becoming looser and freer with every stroke of the pencil. Tech-Boy was sprawled spineless in his airport lounge chair now, barking short responses at someone on the other end of his Bluetooth. Funny how one tiny piece of technology was the fine line between socially acceptable and looking like a crazy person ranting into thin air.
In my drawing, he was rod straight in the chair, long fingers gripping the armrests in evil victory. A large
T
was emblazoned across his muscled chest in classic superhero style. I added Bluetooth devices to both earsâwhy not?âand, for added effect, a metal band around his head like a crown, connecting with bolts to all the tubes. May as well wire his brainpan. With simple wavy lines and a few bursts, I achieved a glow effect in a halo around him.
I was totally lost in my process now, not even aware that I was staring as I studied his facial features. Those cheekbones could cut glass, they were so sharp. His dark eyes were almond shaped, but I could see the curling fan of perfect, lush lashes. I had eyelashes like that, too, but mine came out of a mascara tube. His brow was thick and straight. He was actually a dream to draw. I smudged in his five o'clock shadow with the tip of my pinky, softening his strong jawline.
Allowing myself one last look to make sure I had captured the
length and wave of his hair, I was met with a stony, irritated stare. I quickly dropped my eyes and slammed my sketchbook shut. Since leaving my job at Marvel, drawing was a guilty luxury, an escape.
Since losing Allen, I had a hard time being on board with the whole justice-prevailing-over-evil thing. Turns out, the good guys don't always win.
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