Cousin Phillis (5 page)

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Authors: Elizabeth Gaskell

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'But I may stay and help you, mayn't I?'

'Oh, yes; not that you can help at all, but I like to have you with
me.' I was both flattered and annoyed at this straightforward avowal. I
was pleased that she liked me; but I was young coxcomb enough to have
wished to play the lover, and I was quite wise enough to perceive that
if she had any idea of the kind in her head she would never have spoken
out so frankly. I comforted myself immediately, however, by finding out
that the grapes were sour. A great tall girl in a pinafore, half a head
taller than I was, reading books that I had never heard of, and talking
about them too, as of far more interest than any mere personal
subjects; that was the last day on which I ever thought of my dear
cousin Phillis as the possible mistress of my heart and life. But we
were all the greater friends for this idea being utterly put away and
buried out of sight.

Late in the evening the minister came home from Hornby. He had been
calling on the different members of his flock; and unsatisfactory work
it had proved to him, it seemed from the fragments that dropped out of
his thoughts into his talk.

'I don't see the men; they are all at their business, their shops, or
their warehouses; they ought to be there. I have no fault to find with
them; only if a pastor's teaching or words of admonition are good for
anything, they are needed by the men as much as by the women.'

'Cannot you go and see them in their places of business, and remind
them of their Christian privileges and duties, minister?' asked cousin
Holman, who evidently thought that her husband's words could never be
out of place.

'No!' said he, shaking his head. 'I judge them by myself. If there are
clouds in the sky, and I am getting in the hay just ready for loading,
and rain sure to come in the night, I should look ill upon brother
Robinson if he came into the field to speak about serious things.'

'But, at any rate, father, you do good to the women, and perhaps they
repeat what you have said to them to their husbands and children?'

'It is to be hoped they do, for I cannot reach the men directly; but
the women are apt to tarry before coming to me, to put on ribbons and
gauds; as if they could hear the message I bear to them best in their
smart clothes. Mrs Dobson to-day—Phillis, I am thankful thou dost not
care for the vanities of dress!' Phillis reddened a little as she said,
in a low humble voice,—

'But I do, father, I'm afraid. I often wish I could wear
pretty-coloured ribbons round my throat like the squire's daughters.'

'It's but natural, minister!' said his wife; 'I'm not above liking a
silk gown better than a cotton one myself!'

'The love of dress is a temptation and a snare,' said he, gravely. 'The
true adornment is a meek and quiet spirit. And, wife,' said he, as a
sudden thought crossed his mind, 'in that matter I, too, have sinned. I
wanted to ask you, could we not sleep in the grey room, instead of our
own?'

'Sleep in the grey room?—change our room at this time o' day?' cousin
Holman asked, in dismay.

'Yes,' said he. 'It would save me from a daily temptation to anger.
Look at my chin!' he continued; 'I cut it this morning—I cut it on
Wednesday when I was shaving; I do not know how many times I have cut
it of late, and all from impatience at seeing Timothy Cooper at his
work in the yard.'

'He's a downright lazy tyke!' said cousin Holman. 'He's not worth his
wage. There's but little he can do, and what he can do, he does badly.'

'True,' said the minister. 'He is but, so to speak, a half-wit; and yet
he has got a wife and children.'

'More shame for him!'

'But that is past change. And if I turn him off; no one else will take
him on. Yet I cannot help watching him of a morning as he goes
sauntering about his work in the yard; and I watch, and I watch, till
the old Adam rises strong within me at his lazy ways, and some day, I
am afraid, I shall go down and send him about his business—let alone
the way in which he makes me cut myself while I am shaving—and then
his wife and children will starve. I wish we could move to the grey
room.'

I do not remember much more of my first visit to the Hope Farm. We went
to chapel in Heathbridge, slowly and decorously walking along the
lanes, ruddy and tawny with the colouring of the coming autumn. The
minister walked a little before us, his hands behind his back, his head
bent down, thinking about the discourse to be delivered to his people,
cousin Holman said; and we spoke low and quietly, in order not to
interrupt his thoughts. But I could not help noticing the respectful
greetings which he received from both rich and poor as we went along;
greetings which he acknowledged with a kindly wave of his hand, but
with no words of reply. As we drew near the town, I could see some of
the young fellows we met cast admiring looks on Phillis; and that made
me look too. She had on a white gown, and a short black silk cloak,
according to the fashion of the day. A straw bonnet with brown ribbon
strings; that was all. But what her dress wanted in colour, her sweet
bonny face had. The walk made her cheeks bloom like the rose; the very
whites of her eyes had a blue tinge in them, and her dark eyelashes
brought out the depth of the blue eyes themselves. Her yellow hair was
put away as straight as its natural curliness would allow. If she did
not perceive the admiration she excited, I am sure cousin Holman did;
for she looked as fierce and as proud as ever her quiet face could
look, guarding her treasure, and yet glad to perceive that others could
see that it was a treasure. That afternoon I had to return to Eltham to
be ready for the next day's work. I found out afterwards that the
minister and his family were all 'exercised in spirit,' as to whether
they did well in asking me to repeat my visits at the Hope Farm, seeing
that of necessity I must return to Eltham on the Sabbath-day. However,
they did go on asking me, and I went on visiting them, whenever my
other engagements permitted me, Mr Holdsworth being in this case, as in
all, a kind and indulgent friend. Nor did my new acquaintances oust him
from my strong regard and admiration. I had room in my heart for all, I
am happy to say, and as far as I can remember, I kept praising each to
the other in a manner which, if I had been an older man, living more
amongst people of the world, I should have thought unwise, as well as a
little ridiculous. It was unwise, certainly, as it was almost sure to
cause disappointment if ever they did become acquainted; and perhaps it
was ridiculous, though I do not think we any of us thought it so at the
time. The minister used to listen to my accounts of Mr Holdsworth's
many accomplishments and various adventures in travel with the truest
interest, and most kindly good faith; and Mr Holdsworth in return liked
to hear about my visits to the farm, and description of my cousin's
life there—liked it, I mean, as much as he liked anything that was
merely narrative, without leading to action.

So I went to the farm certainly, on an average, once a month during
that autumn; the course of life there was so peaceful and quiet, that I
can only remember one small event, and that was one that I think I took
more notice of than any one else: Phillis left off wearing the
pinafores that had always been so obnoxious to me; I do not know why
they were banished, but on one of my visits I found them replaced by
pretty linen aprons in the morning, and a black silk one in the
afternoon. And the blue cotton gown became a brown stuff one as winter
drew on; this sounds like some book I once read, in which a migration
from the blue bed to the brown was spoken of as a great family event.

Towards Christmas my dear father came to see me, and to consult Mr
Holdsworth about the improvement which has since been known as
'Manning's driving wheel'. Mr Holdsworth, as I think I have before
said, had a very great regard for my father, who had been employed in
the same great machine-shop in which Mr Holdsworth had served his
apprenticeship; and he and my father had many mutual jokes about one of
these gentlemen-apprentices who used to set about his smith's work in
white wash-leather gloves, for fear of spoiling his hands. Mr
Holdsworth often spoke to me about my father as having the same kind of
genius for mechanical invention as that of George Stephenson, and my
father had come over now to consult him about several improvements, as
well as an offer of partnership. It was a great pleasure to me to see
the mutual regard of these two men. Mr Holdsworth, young, handsome,
keen, well-dressed, an object of admiration to all the youth of Eltham;
my father, in his decent but unfashionable Sunday clothes, his plain,
sensible face full of hard lines, the marks of toil and thought,—his
hands, blackened beyond the power of soap and water by years of labour
in the foundry; speaking a strong Northern dialect, while Mr Holdsworth
had a long soft drawl in his voice, as many of the Southerners have,
and was reckoned in Eltham to give himself airs.

Although most of my father's leisure time was occupied with
conversations about the business I have mentioned, he felt that he
ought not to leave Eltham without going to pay his respects to the
relations who had been so kind to his son. So he and I ran up on an
engine along the incomplete line as far as Heathbridge, and went, by
invitation, to spend a day at the farm.

It was odd and yet pleasant to me to perceive how these two men, each
having led up to this point such totally dissimilar lives, seemed to
come together by instinct, after one quiet straight look into each
other's faces. My father was a thin, wiry man of five foot seven; the
minister was a broad-shouldered, fresh-coloured man of six foot one;
they were neither of them great talkers in general—perhaps the
minister the most so—but they spoke much to each other. My father went
into the fields with the minister; I think I see him now, with his
hands behind his back, listening intently to all explanations of
tillage, and the different processes of farming; occasionally taking up
an implement, as if unconsciously, and examining it with a critical
eye, and now and then asking a question, which I could see was
considered as pertinent by his companion. Then we returned to look at
the cattle, housed and bedded in expectation of the snow-storm hanging
black on the western horizon, and my father learned the points of a cow
with as much attention as if he meant to turn farmer. He had his little
book that he used for mechanical memoranda and measurements in his
pocket, and he took it out to write down 'straight back', small
muzzle', 'deep barrel', and I know not what else, under the head 'cow'.
He was very critical on a turnip-cutting machine, the clumsiness of
which first incited him to talk; and when we went into the house he
sate thinking and quiet for a bit, while Phillis and her mother made
the last preparations for tea, with a little unheeded apology from
cousin Holman, because we were not sitting in the best parlour, which
she thought might be chilly on so cold a night. I wanted nothing better
than the blazing, crackling fire that sent a glow over all the
house-place, and warmed the snowy flags under our feet till they seemed
to have more heat than the crimson rug right in front of the fire.
After tea, as Phillis and I were talking together very happily, I heard
an irrepressible exclamation from cousin Holman,—

'Whatever is the man about!'

And on looking round, I saw my father taking a straight burning stick
out of the fire, and, after waiting for a minute, and examining the
charred end to see if it was fitted for his purpose, he went to the
hard-wood dresser, scoured to the last pitch of whiteness and
cleanliness, and began drawing with the stick; the best substitute for
chalk or charcoal within his reach, for his pocket-book pencil was not
strong or bold enough for his purpose. When he had done, he began to
explain his new model of a turnip-cutting machine to the minister, who
had been watching him in silence all the time. Cousin Holman had, in
the meantime, taken a duster out of a drawer, and, under pretence of
being as much interested as her husband in the drawing, was secretly
trying on an outside mark how easily it would come off, and whether it
would leave her dresser as white as before. Then Phillis was sent for
the book on dynamics about which I had been consulted during my first
visit, and my father had to explain many difficulties, which he did in
language as clear as his mind, making drawings with his stick wherever
they were needed as illustrations, the minister sitting with his
massive head resting on his hands, his elbows on the table, almost
unconscious of Phillis, leaning over and listening greedily, with her
hand on his shoulder, sucking in information like her father's own
daughter. I was rather sorry for cousin Holman; I had been so once or
twice before; for do what she would, she was completely unable even to
understand the pleasure her husband and daughter took in intellectual
pursuits, much less to care in the least herself for the pursuits
themselves, and was thus unavoidably thrown out of some of their
interests. I had once or twice thought she was a little jealous of her
own child, as a fitter companion for her husband than she was herself;
and I fancied the minister himself was aware of this feeling, for I had
noticed an occasional sudden change of subject, and a tenderness of
appeal in his voice as he spoke to her, which always made her look
contented and peaceful again. I do not think that Phillis ever
perceived these little shadows; in the first place, she had such
complete reverence for her parents that she listened to them both as if
they had been St Peter and St Paul; and besides, she was always too
much engrossed with any matter in hand to think about other people's
manners and looks.

This night I could see, though she did not, how much she was winning on
my father. She asked a few questions which showed that she had followed
his explanations up to that point; possibly, too, her unusual beauty
might have something to do with his favourable impression of her; but
he made no scruple of expressing his admiration of her to her father
and mother in her absence from the room; and from that evening I date a
project of his which came out to me a day or two afterwards, as we sate
in my little three-cornered room in Eltham. 'Paul,' he began, 'I never
thought to be a rich man; but I think it's coming upon me. Some folk
are making a deal of my new machine (calling it by its technical name),
and Ellison, of the Borough Green Works, has gone so far as to ask me
to be his partner.'

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