Authors: P. D. James
“Sally Jupp kept the news of her marriage secret under very difficult circumstances. Her behaviour wasn’t reasonable. Her husband was overseas and doing well. The firm would hardly have sent him home. The firm need not even have known. If Sally had told the truth someone could have been found to help her. I think she kept her secret partly because she wanted to prove her loyalty and trustworthiness and partly because she was the kind of person to whom secrecy made its appeal. It gave her an opportunity of hurting her uncle and aunt for whom she had no affection, and it provided her with considerable entertainment. It also gave her a free home for seven months. Her husband has told me, ‘Sally always did say that the unmarried mothers had the best of it.’
“I don’t suppose anyone here agrees with that, but Sally Ritchie obviously believed that we live in a society which salves its conscience more by helping the interestingly unfortunate than the dull deserving and was in the position to put her theory to the test. I think she enjoyed herself at St. Mary’s Refuge. I think she sustained herself by the knowledge that she was different from the others. I imagine that she relished in advance the look on Miss Liddell’s face when she knew the truth and the
fun that she would have mimicking the inmates of St. Mary’s to her husband. You know the sort of thing. ‘Let Sal tell you about the time she was an unmarried mother.’ I think, too, that she enjoyed the feeling of power which her hidden knowledge gave her. She enjoyed watching the consternation of the Maxies at a danger which only she knew had no reality.”
Deborah moved uncomfortably in her chair. “You seem to know a great deal about her. If she knew the engagement had no reality why did she consent to it? She would have saved everyone a great deal of trouble by telling Stephen the truth.”
Dalgliesh looked across at her. “She would have saved her own life. But was it in character for her to tell? There was not much longer to wait. Her husband would be flying home, perhaps in the next day or two. Dr. Maxie’s proposal was merely one additional complication, adding its own stimulus of excitement and amusement to the total situation. Remember, she never overtly accepted the proposal. No, I would have expected her to act as she did. She obviously disliked Mrs. Riscoe and was becoming more audacious in showing it as the time for her husband’s return drew nearer. This proposal offered new chances of private amusement. I think that, when her visitor came to her, she was lying back on her bed in sleepy, happy, amused confidence, feeling perhaps that she held the Maxie family, the whole situation, the world itself in the hollow of her hand. Not one of the dozens of people I have interviewed has described her as kind. I don’t think she was kind to her visitor. She underestimated the force of the anger and desperation which were confronting her. Perhaps she laughed. And when she did that the strong fingers closed around her throat.”
There was a silence. Felix Hearne broke it by saying
roughly: “You’ve mistaken your profession, Inspector. That dramatic histrionic was worthy of a larger audience.”
“Don’t be a fool, Hearne.” Stephen Maxie lifted a face drained of colour and etched with weariness. “Can’t you see that he’s satisfied enough with the reaction we’re providing.” He turned to Dalgliesh with a sudden spurt of anger. “Whose hands?” he demanded. “Why go on with this farce? Whose hands?”
Dalgliesh ignored him. “Our killer goes to the door and turns out the light. This is to be the moment of escape. And then, perhaps, there comes a doubt. It may be the need to make certain just once more that Sally Jupp is dead. It may be that the child turns in his sleep and there is the natural and human wish not to leave him crying and alone with his dead mother. It may be the more selfish concern that his cries will awaken the household before the killer can make good his escape. Whatever the reason, the light is momentarily switched on again. On and then off. Waiting at the edge of the lawn and in the shelter of the trees Sydney Proctor sees what he thinks is the awaited signal. He has no watch. He must depend on the flashing light. He makes his way along the edge of the lawn towards the back door, still keeping in the shadow of the trees and the shrubs.”
As Dalgliesh paused his audience looked towards Proctor. He was more self-possessed now and seemed, indeed, to have lost both his earlier nervousness and his defensive truculence. He took up the story simply and calmly as if the recollection of that dreadful night and the intense and concentrated interest of his audience had released him from self-consciousness and guilt. Now that he was beyond noisy self-justification they found him easier to tolerate. Like them he had been in some sense a victim of Sally. Listening, they shared the desperation and fear which had driven him forward to her door.
“I thought I must have missed the first flash. She’d said two flashes so I waited for a bit and watched. Then I thought I’d better take a chance. There wasn’t any sense in messing about. I’d come so far and I might as well go on with it. She’d see that I did, anyway. It hadn’t been easy to raise the thirty quid. I’d got what I could from my Post Office account, but that was only ten. I hadn’t much at home, only what I’d put by for the instalments on the telly. I took that and pawned my watch at a shop in Canningbury. The chap could see I was pretty desperate I suppose, and didn’t give me what it was worth. Still, I had enough to keep her quiet. I’d written out a receipt for her to sign, too. I wasn’t taking any chances with her after that scene in the stables. I thought I’d just hand over the cash, make her sign the receipt and get off home. If she tried any more funny business I could threaten to charge her with blackmail. The receipt would be useful if it came to that, but I didn’t think it would. She just wanted the money and afterwards she’d leave me in peace. Well, there wouldn’t be much sense in trying it on again, would there? I can’t raise money to order and Sally knew that well enough. She was no fool was our Sally.
“The heavy outside door was open just as she said. I had my torch and it was easy to find the stairs and get up to her room. She’d shown me the way that afternoon. It was a piece of cake. The house was dead quiet. You’d have thought it was empty. Sally’s door was shut and there was no light showing through the keyhole or under the door. That struck me as queer. I wondered whether to knock, but I wasn’t keen on making a sound. The whole place was so quiet it was eerie. In the end I opened the door and called to her quietly. She didn’t answer. I shone the light of the torch across the room and on to the bed. She was lying there. At first I thought she
was asleep and—well, it was like a reprieve. I wondered whether I ought to leave the cash on her pillow and then I thought, ‘Why the hell should I?’ She had asked me to come. It was up to her to stay awake. Besides, I wanted to get out of the house.
“I don’t know when I first realized that she wasn’t asleep. I went up to the bed. It was then that I knew that she was dead. Funny how you can’t mistake it. I knew that she wasn’t ill or unconscious. Sally was dead. One eye was closed but the other was half open. It seemed to be looking at me, so I put out my left hand and drew down the lid. I don’t know what made me touch her. Damn silly thing to do really. It was just that I had to close that staring eye. The sheet was folded down under her chin just as if someone had made her comfortable. I drew it down and then I saw the bruise on her neck. Until then I don’t think the word ‘murder’ had come into my mind.
“When it did, well I suppose I lost my head. I ought to have known that it was a right-handed job and that no one could suspect me, but you don’t think like that when you’re frightened. I still held my torch and I was shaking so that it made little circles of light round her head. I couldn’t hold it steady. I was trying to think straight, wondering what to do. Then it came over me that she was dead and I was in her room and with the money on me. You could see what people would think. I knew I’d got to get away. I don’t remember reaching the door but I was too late. I could hear footsteps coming along the passage. They were only faint. I suppose I wouldn’t have heard them in the ordinary way. But I was keyed up so that I could hear my own heart beating. In a second I drew the bolt across the door and leaned back against it, holding my breath. It was a woman on the other side of the door.
“She knocked very quietly and called out, ‘Sally. Are you asleep, Sally?’ She called quite softly. I don’t see how she expected to be heard. Perhaps she didn’t really care. I’ve thought about it a good deal since but, at the time, I didn’t wait to see what she would do. She might have knocked louder and set the kid bawling or she might have realized that something was wrong and fetched the family. I had to get away. Luckily I keep myself fit and heights don’t worry me. Not that there was much to it. I got out of the side window, the one sheltered by the trees, and the stack-pipe was handy enough. I couldn’t hurt my hands and my soft cycling shoes gave me a grip. I fell the last few feet and turned my ankle, but I didn’t feel it at the time. I ran into the shelter of the trees before I looked back. Sally’s room was still in darkness and I began to feel safe.
“I’d hidden my cycle in the hedge at the side of the lane and I was glad to see it again, I can tell you. It wasn’t until I got on that I realized about my foot. I couldn’t grasp the pedal with it. Still, I got on all right. I was beginning to think out a plan, too. I had to have an alibi. When I got to Finchworthy I staged my accident. It wasn’t difficult. It’s a quiet road and a high wall runs on the left of it. I drove the cycle hard against it until the front wheel buckled. Then I slashed the front tyre with my pocket-knife. I didn’t need to worry about myself. I looked the part all right. My ankle was swelling by now and I felt sick. It must have started raining some time in the night because I was wet and cold, although I don’t remember the rain.
“It took some doing to drag myself and the bike into Canningbury and it was well after one before I got home. I had to be pretty quiet so I left the bike in the front garden and let myself in. It was important not to wake Mrs. Proctor before I had a chance to alter the two downstairs clocks. We haven’t a clock or watch in the bedroom. I used to wind the gold one
every night and keep it by the bed. If I could only get in without waking the wife I reckoned I should be all right. I thought I was going to be unlucky. She must have been awake and listening for the door because she came to the top of the stairs and called out. I’d had about as much as I could take by then, so I shouted at her to get back to bed and I’d be up. She did what she was told—she usually does—but I knew she’d be down before long. Still, it gave me my chance.
“By the time she’d got on her dressing-gown and come pussy-footing down I’d got the clocks put back to midnight. She fussed about getting me a cup of tea. I was in a sweat to get her back into bed before any of the town clocks struck two. It was the sort of thing she might notice. Anyway, I did get her back upstairs eventually and she went off to sleep quickly enough. It was different with me, I can tell you. My God, I never want to live through another night like that! You can say what you like about us and the way we treated Sally. She didn’t do so badly out of us to my way of thinking. But if she felt hard done by, well, the little bitch got her own back that night.”
He spat the shocking word at them and then, in the silence, muttered something which might have been an apology and covered his face with that grotesque right hand. No one spoke for a moment and then Catherine said: “You didn’t come to the inquest, did you? We wondered about that at the time, but there was some talk that you were ill. Was that because you were afraid of being recognized? But you must have known by then how Sally died and that no one could possibly suspect you.”
Under the stress of emotion Proctor had told his story with unselfconscious fluency. Now the need for self-justification reasserted itself and brought a return of his former truculence.
“Why should I go? I wasn’t in a fit state for it anyway. I knew how she had died all right. The police told us that when they sent someone round on Sunday morning. He didn’t take long before he was asking when I’d last seen her, but I had my story ready. I suppose you all think that I ought to have told them what I knew. Well, I didn’t! Sally had caused enough trouble while she was alive and she wasn’t going to add to it now she was dead if I could help it. I didn’t see why my private affairs should have to come out in court. It isn’t easy to explain these things. People might get the wrong ideas.”
“Worse still, they might understand only too well,” said Felix dryly.
Proctor’s thin face flushed. Getting to his feet he deliberately turned his back on Felix and spoke to Eleanor Maxie.
“If you’ll excuse me now I’ll be on my way. I didn’t mean to intrude. It was just that I had to see the inspector. I’m sure I hope this all turns out satisfactorily, but you don’t want me here.”
He talks as if we’re about to give birth, thought Stephen. The wish to assert an independence of Dalgliesh and to show that at least one of the family still considered himself a free agent made him ask: “Can I drive you home? The last bus went at eight.”
Proctor made a gesture of refusal but did not look at him. “No. No thank you. I have my bicycle outside. They’ve made a good job of it, all things considered. Please don’t bother to see me out.”
He stood there, his gloved hands hanging loosely, an unlikeable and pathetic figure but not without dignity.
At least, thought Felix, he has the grace to know when he’s not wanted. Suddenly, and with a stiff little gesture, Proctor held out his left hand to Eleanor Maxie and she took it.
Stephen went with him to the door. While he was away no one spoke. Felix felt the heightening of tension and his nostrils twitched at the remembered smell of fear. They must know now. They had been told everything except the actual name. But how far were they letting themselves recognize the truth? From under lowered eyelids he watched them. Deborah was curiously tranquil as if the end of lying and deceit had brought their own peace. He did not believe that Deborah knew what was coming. Eleanor Maxie’s face was grey, but the folded hands lay relaxed in her lap. He could almost believe that her thoughts were elsewhere. Catherine Bowers sat stiffly, her lips pursed as if in disapproval. Earlier Felix had thought that she was enjoying herself. Now he was not so sure. He noticed with sardonic satisfaction the clenching of her hands, the nervous twitching at the corners of her eyes.