Covertly Strong (The Strong Series Book 1) (50 page)

A tourniquet hanging off her arm and fresh track marks etched on her perfect skin.

A used syringe lying on the floor next to her
.

Her russet eyes lifeless as her chest struggled to inhale and exhale.

He inhales a shaky breath, trying to regain his composure. Seeing her in that state, tied up and completely helpless, was one of the absolute worst moments of his life, and the fact that she has a video of it, well… That’s almost too much to bear.

“Why do you have this?” he asks harshly. Adrenaline rushes through his bloodstream, determining his tone of voice and making it nearly impossible to keep his boiling temper under control.

He’s pissed. Downright enraged that someone gave this to her. Someone gave her access to videos of men—fucking criminals—who were torturing her and filling her helpless body with drugs in a pitiful attempt to make her incoherent so that they could sexually assault and abuse her.

“I don’t know!” she shouts in frustration.

Her mind and heart are at war.

Her gut is telling her to let it go, to just move past this, but the rational CIA agent that lives inside her just wants to know. She wants to know what in the hell happened. Heavy breaths escape her lungs as she glances at Nix, taking in his tortured expression. Her heart screams out in agony, nearly shattering into pieces from seeing him in that state. She can only imagine what he saw. He was there. He saw her like that.

He saw everything.

Tears prick at her eyes as realization sets in. Realization of what she is about to endure—mentally, emotionally, and spiritually—by allowing herself to watch.

“I just wanted to see. I wanted to understand. I need to understand. I need to piece all of the holes together, Nix. There are so many blank areas. I-I-I feel like I lost so much time while I was in that compound,” she stammers quietly. Her eyes look down at fingers nervously fidgeting in her lap.

“Fuck!” he screams, his voice booming with authority. He runs an irate hand through his hair, making it messy and disheveled. “You can’t watch this, Sloan. I can’t let you
. I. Just. Can’t.
” He inhales a vast breath as his head goes into his hands. He glances up at her, his brows scrunch together once he sees her emotional state.

“I’m so sorry!” she cries.

Loud, shuddering sobs resonate in the room.

Her body shakes in hysterics as all of the feelings, emotions, stress, and uncertainties that have built up since she was rescued come out of her at a deafening pace. The pain, the agony, the mental anguish she endured weigh heavily on her body, making the smallest movement feel like the largest feat.

“God, I’m so sorry, Nix,” she whispers softly through her tears. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel so weak right now. I’m so weak and I hate it.”

Nix pulls the laptop from her, setting it down on the bedside table. His large form climbs into the bed beside her, gently pulling her into his arms and holding her as tight as her injuries allow.

“Nothing is wrong with you, baby. You’re not weak. The furthest from it, actually. You are literally the strongest woman I know. What you endured, what you were forced to go through…
God, Meli
…”

He glances up to the ceiling, shaking his head with a pained look in his eyes.

He clears his throat, regaining composure. “Not many people could have survived that. I understand why you want to know, but I’m telling you. Watching how it actually happened compared to just hearing someone recount the events for you are two very different things. I know enough, baby. I can tell you everything you need to know. I can help you get the closure you deserve, but I don’t think you should be watching these videos right now.

“Maybe further down the road, once you’re fully healed and actually seeing someone to help you sort through all of these emotions, maybe then you can watch them, but not right now. Now is not the right time.” His fingers grip her tighter as she buries her face into his chest, her tears soaking through his white T-shirt. “Right now, the only things you need to focus on are getting better and taking care of yourself. Okay?”

“I really need to know one thing, Nix…” She pauses, gauging his willingness to share facts on this horrendous ordeal. “Was I...” She swallows past the sickening feeling in her gut. “Was I raped?” she asks. It’s the one question that’s been filling her mind with an endless amount of terrible what-ifs and worst-case scenarios.

He inhales a shuddering breath and then shakes his head. “No, sweetheart. It didn’t get that far. Once your condition was stable…” he trails off, trying to find the strength to discuss this painful topic. “The medical staff did a comprehensive exam on you and know for sure that…” he stops midsentence, unable to say the word ‘raped.’ It’s too damn painful because she was so fucking close to it.

He saw the videos. He saw the footage of Arturo’s men trying to sexually assault her, a very drugged-up Sloan fighting them off. His fingers tremble with anger as he contemplates what would have happened had his team not gotten to the compound when they did. Her condition was far past the point of being able to fight men off…

“Baby, right now, we just need to focus on getting you better. Okay? Together, we’ll get through this.” He tries to steer her focus to something else—something less devastating.

Her only response is a single nod as she continues to cry into his embrace.

Each tear that leaves her body is one step closer to getting relief from the traumatic events she has suffered. Each shuddering sob is one less sob that will have to leave her body before she can regain control and find closure.

For the first time in over ten years, Sloan just cries.

She lets go of everything without the fear of appearing weak. Her vulnerability is exposed because Nix is here for her.

There is no judgment in his arms. Only love.

He is everything she needs him to be in this moment. Time stands still as his strong arms hold her close and his mouth softly speaks comforting words into her ears.

She cries until she can’t physically cry anymore. Even after her tear ducts are desert dry, her lips still tremble and her body continues to shake from the pain that strives to claw out of her heart, out of her soul. She may not remember what happened, but she knows that she lost a piece of herself inside that compound. And now, she tries to focus on the fact that Nix is by her side to help her get it back.

His body is her safe place, giving her endless amounts of warmth and comfort, letting her know that she isn’t alone.

Exhaustion begins to set in as her eyes begin to droop closed.

Nix feels her warm breath comes out in slow, soft whispers against his chest. His heart grows infinitely larger as he savors the feel of her in his arms. He is thankful.

She is here—alive—with him.

As the Chinese food gets cold and the oranges and reds of the sunset shine through the lone hospital window inside her room, Nix slowly rocks her to sleep while whispering, “I love you,” into her ear, his loving embrace reassuring her that everything will be okay.

He holds her in his arms the entire night, refusing to let go of her. He doesn’t care that the night-shift nurses are pissed that he’s in their way and preventing them from doing their nightly assessments. He doesn’t care that the bed is too damn small for his big ass and doesn’t feel the least bit good on his tired joints.

He doesn’t care about anything but her.

She is his priority—
always
.

SLOAN’S BROW SQUINTS AS THE bright Texan sun shines blazingly through the window. Her eyes take in her surroundings. Bleak hospital walls painted a neutral gray are highlighted poorly by curtains and weird, contemporary artwork that belong in the 1980s. Her body stirs as the heat that permeates from the person holding her close seeps into her pores.

Nix. He’s still here, still holding her close, even while he sleeps.

His chest moves in soft, fluid movements, his relaxed form radiating peace and comfort and love. She blinks against the sleep that lies heavily on her eyes. Her focus hones in on the clock that resides above the door. It’s nearly nine in the morning.

He’s been holding me in his arms for nearly twelve hours,
she thinks to herself.

Her love for him grows tenfold—if that’s even possible.

How could she not love him with everything she has?

He’s shown her countless times how much he truly cares for her—not only through words, but through actions. His love for her is always there, visibly worn on his sleeve, laid bare and open for everyone to see. There are never pretenses or mixed messages or confusing games. He never hesitates to tell her everything—his true feelings, always. And the truth he reveals through his words, through his actions, and through every cell inside his body is that no one has ever loved Sloan the way he does.

She inhales his familiar Nixon smell and a soft sigh of appreciation escapes her lips. Somehow, this adorably cocky, undeniably sexy, ridiculously swoon-worthy man can make her high off his very presence. She giggles slightly at the thought.

“Are you going to let me in on the joke?” he asks with a raspy, sleep-filled voice

She rests her chin on his chest, her eyes gazing up into his sleep-filled face. And the only thing she can do is smile, her mouth forming into the cheesiest grin possible.

Nix chuckles as his fingers trace her lips. “I love that ridiculous smile.”

Her cheeks burn in a delightful way as the crazy smile refuses to leave her lips. “Only for you. You’re the only one who can make me grin like a goddamn jack-o’-lantern.”

“I better be. No one gets your goofy fucking grins but me.” He feigns a pointed look.

“Tone it down, caveman,” she sasses.

“It’s not even noon yet and you’re already throwing that sass in my direction. You’re making my cock hard, sweetheart.” He playfully moves his hips against her, proving his erect state.

She laughs and rolls her eyes in pretend exasperation.

“Don’t roll those gorgeous brown eyes at me unless you’re planning on sticking those pretty little hands down my pants to help relieve my current
discomfort
.” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

“Only your pervy ass would try to bang me while I’m laid up in a hospital bed,” she retorts with a knowing smirk. Her brown eyes flash a bit of feisty his way.

“Who said anything about banging?” he asks with a devilish gleam in his eyes. “If you want me to slide inside that perfect pussy of yours, all you need do is say the word. We can even do a little role-playing if you’re so inclined. I’ll be the hot-as-fuck doctor here to treat your condition. And you can be my patient who can’t seem to keep her greedy little hands off me.”

You’re a dirty boy
, she thinks to herself. Sloan speaks those words in fluent Spanish, knowing the effect it has on him. “
Eres un chico sucio
.”

“Ah, fuck,” he groans in response. “I have no idea what you just said, but it was sexy as hell. You know what that does to me, Meli. Stop playing games with my cock. He’s already begging for your attention as it is.” He leans down and bites her neck with a little sting, giving her a dose of her own medicine.

Delicious tingles shoot up her spine and her body shivers in anticipation. “Okay! Okay! I give up!” she shouts in relinquishment. “I give up. You win this round, dirty boy.”

Nix chuckles loudly, smiling down at her with a giant, cocky grin.

“God, you’re infuriating sometimes. You know that?” she questions with a chiding tone.

He nods in agreement. “Yeah, I know I’m infuriating, and I know that, sometimes, you can be the biggest pain in the ass, but you’re my pain in the ass.”

“Such a romantic, Nix. You’re about to make me swoon right off this hospital bed.”

He winks with one of his sexy, cerulean eyes.

She grins and shakes her head with a laugh. “How many nurses did you piss off last night?” she asks out of curiosity.

“Zero. My irresistible charm kept me out of trouble,” he answers as he pulls her close, holding her petite body within his masculine embrace. “And if they were pissed at me, there was no way in hell I was letting you out of my arms last night. You needed me, and I was staying. End of story.”