Coveting Love (Jessica Crawford) (52 page)

She had begun to think of ways she might avoid telling him. He and Jeffrey looked enough alike that she could pass the baby off as his. However, she was sure Jeffrey suspected the truth; that could be a problem. It wasn’t uncommon for babies to arrive a few weeks early. She was sure she could come up with a believable reason for hers arriving six weeks ahead of schedule.

The doctor would know the truth, but he wouldn’t be able to say anything; he was bound by patient confidentiality. He would probably think less of her, but she wasn’t worried about impressing the doctor.

The plan might force her to admit the truth to Jeffrey, in order to get his cooperation. How would he handle that? Until now, it would only be a suspicion. If she actually had to confess the truth, who knew what he might do. What would he demand in return for his silence?

She hadn’t seen Jeffrey since the funeral. She had no reason to expect to see him again before the birth. For all she knew he was off on another world adventure.

She sighed. No. She had better tell Brandon the truth before he discovered it himself. It would be much harder to face if he caught her in a lie. She would tell him next week, just before they returned to New York.

Feeling positive about this decision, she stood from the lounge chair that she had been having her afternoon tea in, put down her knitting—a hobby her mother had insisted would make her time go faster, but had in fact, only succeeded in frustrating her—stretched, and began to pace around. She was feeling claustrophobic and needed something to release her.

She glanced at the sky, decided there were several hours of daylight left, bit her lower lip in consideration, ran to her room to grab her camera, and fled to the stable.

She asked Justin to saddle Cocoa for her, which he promptly refused to do.

“
Mr. Brandon will send me my walking papers if I saddle that horse for you,” he said, nearly begging.

“
Fine, I’ll do it myself.”

She grabbed the saddle from the hook and began to struggle with it.

“
I don’t think this is a very good idea,” he said, taking the saddle from her and placing it on the horse.

“
Don’t worry, Justin. Nothing is going to happen. Brandon’s just being overcautious. I’ll take the blame if Brandon finds out.

“
Let me ride along with you. I’d feel much better about that.”

She patted his hand. “I’ll be fine, really. I promise I will only walk. I won’t even attempt to gallop. I know how busy you are here.”

He looked behind him at the pile of shoes that Brandon had asked him to put on the horses before sunset. Jessica saw her opportunity for distraction.

“
Hey, how’s Brittney?” she asked, changing the subject.

He grinned. “She’s great. She’s coming in next week. She’s thinking of giving up the modeling all together. We want to get married.”

“
Hey, that’s great. She’s terrific. Are you sure she can handle a rancher’s lifestyle?”

He laughed. “You should see her line dance. She took lessons. She loves it.”

She waved and rode out of the stable, chuckling.

She rode for an hour. She knew right where she wanted to go. She had a favorite bluff overlooking the lake, with large boulders that were perfect for sitting and staring out at the vista. Decades before, Brandon’s father had installed a safety rail, but weather and age had weakened it. The last time they were up there, Brandon had made a mental note to have it replaced, but he had not gotten around to it yet. It didn’t matter; she would stay away from the edge.

She stopped the horse and climbed down. She retrieved her camera from her saddlebag and sat down on a boulder. Wildlife often ran through the trees up there, and she was waiting for just the right shot.

She waited for what seemed like hours, but nothing came. She glanced at her watch, saw how late it was getting, and decided she had better return. She took a deep breath of the clean mountain air. It would have to last her until her next visit. She sighed and rose. Turning to leave, she bumped right into something. She stepped back, startled.

“
Jeffrey!” she exclaimed.

His eyes burned into her. Her heart began to race.

“
Did I startle you?”

She laughed nervously, trying to sound lighthearted. “I didn’t hear you approach. I didn’t even know you were here. When did you get in?”

He ignored the question. He continued to stare at her, unsmiling.

“
You looked so beautiful. I didn’t want to disturb you,” he finally said. “I’ve wanted to see you, to talk to you, but you’ve been busy!” He punctuated the last word, making her flinch.

His eyes traveled down to her midsection. She began to panic. This was the first time she had been alone with him since her pregnancy. She suddenly felt incredibly vulnerable. She had no idea how he would react to the idea of the baby. She had automatically assumed that any father would want to lay claim to his child.

With trepidation, she slowly began to step toward her horse. “Well, I must get back now. Justin will be worried about me. He’s probably already sent out a search party. She laughed anxiously, and added as an afterthought, “And Brandon, too, if he should arrive home before I return—”

He cut her off. “Cut the bullshit. I know Brandon is not coming home tonight. He’s spending the night in town.”

He pointed at her abdomen. “I think we need to talk.”

“
Yes,” she said, willing to say just about anything to get them off the cliff and back to safety. “Not here, though. This isn’t the place for it. Why don’t you follow me back to the house? You can stay for dinner. Afterward, we can talk.”

He took a few steps toward her, forcing her to step back against the railing. In her head, she heard Brandon warning her about the dangers of the cliff, just as she heard the rail crack behind her. She needed to get to her horse.

“
You shouldn’t have married him. Why did you marry him? Did you really think you were going to get away with it?”

“
I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“
Yes, you do. Did you really think you could pass off my baby as his?” he asked as he took another step closer to her.

She was becoming increasingly alarmed, and she began to look around for a way to escape. He stood between her and her horse now. Somehow, she had to find a way to get around him.

“
What makes you so sure it’s your baby? I’m married to Brandon. How do you know it’s not his?”

“
Do you take me for a fool? Do you think I can’t figure it out in my head? You may think you’re fooling Brandon, but you’re not fooling me.”

He took another step forward. His eyes pleaded. She actually felt sorry for him. She could imagine the isolation of knowing the woman who carried your child inside her had married another man. She could imagine the heartache of seeing another man caressing the pregnant belly. The pain of witnessing him talking to the unborn child would be unbearable. The agony of knowing that each day the child would rise and call another man daddy, would be intolerable.

“
No, Jeffrey. I don’t think you’re a fool. You’re right, this is your baby, and I don’t want to shut you out of its life. I plan to tell Brandon the truth. As soon as I do, we can work something out, you have my promise.”

He suddenly became outraged. “Damn him. No, I will not share another thing with him. I have shared all my life. This is my baby. You shouldn’t have married him.”

He had the look of sheer torment, a tortured soul ripped apart from the inside out. She began to cry. His voice became a strain, almost a whisper carried to her by the soft breeze that stirred in the trees.

“
You should have married me. You carry my baby inside you, not his. You should be my wife. She chose him in the end, too, although she soon regretted it. All she got out of it was death. Please don’t let that happen to you. You are so beautiful. I couldn’t bear life without you. I couldn’t bear it if Brandon was raising my child as his own. “Please, Jessie,” he pleaded. “Come away with me. It’s not too late.”

He was walking toward her again, pleading with her, arms outstretched. He had tears in his eyes. She didn’t even think he was seeing her anymore. She pushed aside the image of the tortured man and conjured up instead, the image of her rapist.

Slowly, she stepped to the side, inching herself along the curve of the railing. He didn’t alter his step but continued walking to the point where she had been standing.

She only had a few more feet to her horse, a few more feet to safety—to help. She would mount her horse and ride like crazy. She would send back help for Jeffrey. It was clear he had cracked and needed professional help.

“
Jessie!”

She swung around to see Jeffrey running toward her, a look of total rage commanded his face.

“
Don’t run away from me!” he pleaded. “I need you.”

She turned back around, ran faster as Jeffrey began to close the gap between them. She was no match for his long stride in her compromised condition. Her horse was only inches away now, stomping and prancing in fear.

Jeffrey was screaming in agony. “Jessie! Jessie!”

Instinctively, she turned to look at him and tripped over a small boulder. She felt herself flying through the air. She was only inches away from the cliffs edge. She cried out, pleading with God for her life.

She struck the railing with force. It gave way, breaking in two. She felt herself slide over the edge of the cliff. Something grabbed her foot, but it was too late. She heard a man screaming, and then knew only darkness as her head struck a boulder and consciousness slipped away.

**********

CHAPTER 34

The brightness hurt as Jessica slowly opened her eyes for the first time in two weeks. She shut them tightly against the intruding light. Someone called softly to her. At first, she didn’t recognize the voice, but as it called to her again, recognition set in. She attempted to open her eyes again, a little slower this time, and succeeded.

She turned to face the voice. “Jeffrey?” she whispered.

“
Hush,” the voice tenderly said. “You need to rest, darling. We’ll talk later.” She drifted back out of consciousness.

She woke again as Brandon pulled the blankets closer around her chest. She was grateful for the comfort. She was very cold.

Slowly, she began to feel pain surge through her body and moaned.

“
Are you in pain?” he asked.

He didn’t wait for an answer, and she saw him fiddle around at the head of her bed. Moments later, she felt relief as the pain medication surged through her veins.

She was too tired to think now, though. She needed to sleep. She closed her eyes and drifted off again. Sleep was a safe haven from her memories.

When she woke again, her mother was standing beside her bed. “Mother?” she called softly.

Sarah wore a worried expression as she bent closer to fuss over her daughter. “It’s okay, honey,” she soothed. “We’re here. You’re going to be fine.”

“
Where am I?” she asked. She tried to look around to gather her bearings, but she couldn’t lift her head.

“
You’re in the hospital. You’ve been here for two weeks. We were quite worried about you. It was touch and go for a while. In fact, you’ve been in a coma for two weeks, but you’re getting better now. The doctor says you’ll be all right.”

She wanted to talk more but sleep overcame her again. She was afraid to wake, for consciousness held truth, and she didn’t think she could handle truth yet. However, sleep wasn’t safe either. Sleep held dreams. First, she dreamt she was running to her horse, only the horse kept moving farther and farther away. She needed to get to it. She had to get to it. Someone was chasing her. People milled around, and they all were laughing at her, cheering on her pursuer. Just as he was about to catch her, she would turn around to face him, but she would wake before she knew his identity. In another dream, she was falling over a cliff. She would fall, and keep falling forever, and just before she hit the bottom, she would wake.

It was from this dream that she woke after her third week in the hospital. She screamed, and someone rushed to her side. She tried to sit up, but something heavy was on her chest. She began to cry and someone soothed her. She turned her head and faced Brandon. He also was crying.. She wanted to comfort him, but she didn’t have the strength to reach out.

“
Brandon.” She said his name with such softness that had he not been inches from her face, he wouldn’t have heard her.

“
I’m here,” he reassured her.

“
Brandon,” she repeated. “What happened to me? I can’t move. Where am I?”

He started to cry again but fought back the tears. He had been crying for three weeks. She was awake now and needed him to be strong.

“
You had an accident. You’re in the hospital. You’ve been here for three weeks now, but you’re improving every day. Soon you’ll be able to go home,” he said.

“
What is on my chest? I can’t move,” she said, panicking. Was she paralyzed? God, what if she was? Suddenly, she remembered it all: the chase, the panic, the fall. Oh, God, she fell over the cliff. How could she have survived that?