Coveting Love (Jessica Crawford) (6 page)

She wished she could have all twenty, but Clair had made it clear she was to watch her budget. Selecting the models would not be an easy task, for each one of them had his or her unique beauty.

Choosing a suitable location would be the hardest part. A sunny location would be of the utmost importance since they were shooting a summer line. They would need to be secluded enough to avoid onlookers (they really could slow down a shoot) yet close enough to the city to capture the essence of the nightlife. The diversity of the clothing line, from casual wear to formal wear, would need to be accommodated. Jessica sighed; she doubted this place even existed. And even if it did, would she have access to it?

With doubtful success hanging over their heads, Amy and Jessica decided to put aside the project for the day and enjoy what little time was left of the sun. They couldn’t believe their good fortune to not only be unburdened by snow, but also to have sunshine. And although the temperature was still quite icy, they felt warmed inside.

They watched a group of children playing on the playground. How odd that these human beings didn’t let a little thing like cold interfere with their fun. Amy stared intently at the kids who were trying to ice skate on the pond. She seemed to be following one in particular. The girl was small with ponytails hanging down her back. She noticed Amy watching and waved to her. She then took off and did a double spin. Amy laughed and clapped her hands together. The thick mittens made a hollow sound as they collided. The child bowed, and ran off to skate with her friends.

“
I used to skate when I was little. Did I ever tell you that?” Amy asked, a hint of sadness touching her voice. My mom used to take me. She was such a beautiful skater. She could have gone professional if she wanted, but she wanted me instead.”

Amy felt a hand on her arm. She bent and put her head on her friends shoulder.

“
Are you thinking about the baby right now?”

“
You know what? All day I’ve been thinking about what your mother said at breakfast this morning. I just don’t think I can have this baby. I don’t want to be tied down to a baby alone. I don’t even know if I would make a good mother. I’ve decided not to have this baby.”

“
Don’t you think this is a rather sudden decision? Granted, what my mother said made a lot of sense, but you have to do what is right for you. What about the baby’s father? You haven’t even given him a chance yet. What is right for him? Only he can answer that. I think you should tell him. He has a right to know.”

She turned to make eye contact with Amy. “You want this baby. I can tell. I saw the way you caressed all the baby clothes as we walked by them this morning.” She picked up her hands, gently. “You have a lot of love inside you, certainly enough to share with a tiny little baby.”

“
I do want this baby. I never said I didn’t want it. Do you realize what my chances are of finding a husband while I’m strapped down with a baby? Not to mention the fact that it isn’t fair to the baby to bring him or her up without a father.”

Jessica started to speak, but Amy held up her hands, staying her words. “I know what you’re going to say; you didn’t have a father and look how well you turned out, but didn’t you listen to anything your mother said this morning? She has been through raising a child on her own, and when it was over, that child went on with her life, and now she’s left all alone. I don’t want that to happen to me. I’m not as strong as your mother is. She did a beautiful job with you, but I’m not so sure I can do the same.”

She stopped to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “And as far as being fair to Bob goes, do you think it was fair of him to get involved with me when he was married? I can’t tell you how much it hurt when I found out. I haven’t seen him since he told me about his wife, and I miss him terribly. But I just can’t tell him about the baby. He has to make the first move. He has to prove he cares about me. I have to know he cares because he loves me, not just because he got me pregnant.”

“
I understand how you feel. Just promise you’ll give him that chance. What happens if you go out and have an abortion, and a month, or even a week from now, Bob calls and tells you how foolish he has been and wants to marry you? Do you realize how devastated you’ll feel?

“
Give yourself some time. Think carefully about what you really want to do. You only just found out about your pregnancy; you still have a little time left. Call Bob and give him a chance to love you. You don’t have to tell him about the baby right away. You’re a loveable person. He can’t possibly resist you for long.” She paused, smiling at her friend. “Besides, think about me. That is my niece or nephew in there, and I care very much what happens to him or her.”

She grinned at Amy, hoping to ease the unhappiness Amy was feeling. She noticed her shivering. “Are you cold?”

Amy nodded. “I think we should head for home now. Sarah’s probably worried.”

Jessica agreed. She had barely noticed the sky had begun to cloud over, and the wind was picking up. She glanced off to the west. She could see the black rain clouds beginning to form, moving in at a rapid rate. It looked as though their bout of good weather was going to be even shorter than she had hoped.

As she pondered this thought, she could feel the wind begin to breathe through her clothes. It whispered down her neck and chilled her through. She shivered, then grabbed Amy’s arm as they ran for the car.

It was nearly four when they arrived home. Sarah was in the kitchen preparing dinner.

“
Yum,” Jessica said, as she inhaled the delicious aroma. “Your famous lasagna, I hope?” she asked as she took a spoonful of the savory sauce that was simmering in the kettle.

“
Yes, of course, lasagna—your favorite,” Sarah assured her as she nudged her daughter’s hand away from the kettle. “And please don’t eat it all now, or we will not have any for dinner.” She smiled, pleased that she was able to make her daughter happy with a simple meal.

“
Can I give you a hand with that?” Jessica offered, expecting her mother to decline her offer.

Sarah thought for a moment. “As a matter of fact, you can. It would do you some good to learn to cook. You can’t always eat at restaurants, you know.”

“
I don’t always eat at restaurants,” she pouted, feigning injury.

Sarah looked at her in surprise. “You mean you’ve actually learned to cook?”

Jessica grinned. “Well, actually no, I eat a lot of soup, and Amy cooks for me.”

Sarah looked accusingly at Amy, who blushed and shrugged her shoulders.

“
So I’m a codependent. I can’t help it. If I didn’t cook for her occasionally, she would starve herself. A woman can’t live on soup alone, you know.”

Jessica threw her hands up in surrender. “Okay you two. I will learn to cook. What do you want me to do first?”

“
You can start by stirring the sauce, and then you can grate that cheese over there. Amy, if you wouldn’t mind, could you get those dishes down from the shelf? We’ll use the good china tonight.”

Jessica spun around. “No!” she shouted. “I mean, I don’t think Amy should be climbing up on stools today. She hasn’t been feeling well. I wouldn’t want her to get dizzy or anything. I’ll get the dishes.”

Amy looked relieved. She mouthed a thank you for coming to her rescue. Sarah stared at both girls for a long time, and then shrugged her shoulders.

“
Well, all right then. Jessie, you can get the dishes down and Amy can prepare the table. You always set such a pretty table.”

Jessica hoped her mother bought the excuse, but she doubted it. Sarah was an intelligent woman and not easily fooled. She tried to change the subject.

“
What time is this gentleman coming tonight?”

Sarah had offered to cancel the dinner after Jessica’s firm protest this morning, but Jessica wouldn’t hear of it, claiming it was rude, and stating she was just being foolish. Now that Jessica was used to the idea, she was looking forward to having a guest for dinner.

“
He’s due to arrive at seven and I have dinner planned for eight. This will give us time to relax and have a drink before dinner.”

“
And just enough time for us to take a bath and freshen up before he arrives, right Amy?”

“
Sure, Jess. That sounds nice.”

They completed their assigned tasks and headed upstairs to get ready for their guest.

During her bath, Jessica conducted an in-depth argument with herself. She knew what her mother said had some truth to it, recognized in fact, some of the symptoms she spoke of.

She had been feeling lonely lately, mostly when she came home from work and ate dinner alone. She wouldn’t admit this to anyone, but she didn’t think that finding a husband would solve her problem. Besides, look at the trouble Amy was having, all because of a man. If this was what loving a man was about, then she could do without the hassle.

It occurred to her that even though she was twenty-seven years old, she had never met anyone with whom she would care to spend the rest of her life. Twenty-seven was still quite young. She hadn’t even had time to live yet. She worked so hard. It seemed she was always on the go. She lacked time for dating.

Still, something her mother had said weighed heavily on her heart. She didn’t know if it was concern for herself, guilt because she had robbed her mother of any chance to find happiness with a man, or pity for her friend who had found the man she wanted, but was unfortunate to have found someone else’s man.

She wondered how Amy could have allowed herself to get into this situation, but that didn’t really matter. She would be there for Amy; she would try to help her through this.

It was six-thirty when Jessica came downstairs to join her mother and Amy. As usual, Amy was beautiful in a long flowing peach gown, which was outlined with lace at the edges of the cap sleeves and along the low cut bodice. Small delicate pearls lay just at the base of her throat. Matching earrings completed her ensemble.

Jessica looked down at her rather plain lime green gown, ornamented only by the locket she wore around her neck. She felt outdone and inadequate. Even her hair piled loosely on top of her head, in a somewhat seductive style, paled in comparison to Amy’s abundant blonde curls flowing loosely around her shoulders. Then she caught sight of Sarah, who was dressed in a red satin jumpsuit. This woman, who was supposed to be her mother, threw her off guard. Sarah had managed to keep her figure, despite all the good cooking she managed to put out. Jessica shook her head and laughed. She fought back an impulse to run back upstairs and change. To do so now surely would give the impression she cared what this man thought of her.

She grinned at her. “You look stunning.” She ran her hand down the sleeve, caressing the soft fabric. “I wasn’t aware you owned such an outfit.”

Sarah blushed, a deep crimson color blooming on her cheeks. “I didn’t until last week. I bought it especially for tonight.”

Jessica eyed her suspiciously, but before she could comment, the doorbell rang.

“
I’ll get it,” she insisted, already moving toward the door. She was surprised to find two very handsome men, dressed in black dinner jackets and ties, standing on the doorstep. She turned and smiled knowingly at her mother. Sarah came to the door, blushing again, to greet her guests.

Both men were tall, but one was obviously older than the other was. Both had blonde hair, although the older one was beginning to show some gray along his temples—nature’s curse of aging. Both men had blue eyes, a lean build, and a firm, strong jaw that jutted out ever so slightly. There was no doubt these two men were related.

Immediately, she visualized the men in a clothing ad. She shook off the image, scolding herself for allowing her business mind to take over again.

Sarah squeezed in between Jessica and the two men. “Jessie, I would like you to meet Grant Jackson and his son, Randy.”

She was amused at her mother for keeping this second visitor a secret. She would have to steal away and set another place setting. She wondered about Mrs. Jackson and hoped there wasn’t one.

She held her hand out to welcome both of them, inviting them to come in and take a seat. It wasn’t hard to miss the show of pleasure on Randy’s face when he was introduced to Amy. Jessica sighed. Oh well, Mother, struck out again. She thought to herself.

Over drinks, Jessica learned that Grant Jackson’s wife had been killed several years ago in a boating accident, while they were vacationing, leaving Grant to care for their son, Randy.

How ironic it was that her mother’s situation was so similar to his. She wondered if Mr. Jackson felt the same way about being alone as Sarah did. Her guess was he did, or he wouldn’t be here tonight.

She also learned that Randy had graduated at the top of his class and held a Master’s degree in Business. He was only here for a short while to help his father get his business started. He would then be returning to his job in California—from which he had taken a leave of absence.

This man would make a very good catch, but not for her. Somehow, he just didn’t seem to draw her attention. There was no spark in their meeting, not an instant desire or feeling that “this is the one.” He just didn’t do it for her.

She glanced at Amy and wanted to laugh at her expression. Apparently, someone in this room was the accelerant for this man’s fire. She couldn’t help but miss the fact that since their arrival, Amy couldn’t seem to take her eyes off Randy. One glance at Randy confirmed the interest was reciprocated. One look at her mother confirmed she had noticed, too. She hoped she wasn’t angry, and hoped equally as well that Amy knew what she was doing. Amy was in a delicate state of mind at this time in her life. Jessica felt sure she was acting out of fear rather than true feelings.