Cowboy After Dark (18 page)

“How about when we cleaned up and changed clothes? You would have noticed if you’d still had it in your pocket, right?”

“It wasn’t there by then.”

Hope frowned. “I hope it didn’t fall out.”

“The pocket snaps shut.” He continued to review the course of events. Karl, Damon and Cade had shown up to play pool, and he’d stopped them from moving the box... “That’s it!” Impulsively he grabbed Hope and gave her a quick kiss. “I know where it is.” He turned to Grady. “When they wanted to move the cake, I remembered I still had the topper. I got out the horseshoes and tucked it behind the set of checkers in the game closet.”

“Hallelujah.” Grady smiled. “Gonna give me a kiss, too?”

“Maybe not.”

“I have photographic evidence that you kissed me once upon a time.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Liam grinned. “When you were about ten days old and looked like Yoda.”

“An awesome baby, I was,” Grady said in his gravelly Yoda imitation.

Hope laughed. “Nice.”

“An awesome brother, he is.” Grady tilted his head toward Liam.

“I know.”

Grady started to say something else, and Liam cut him off. “We’d better go unearth that critical doodad so we can get this party started.” No telling how far Grady planned to take his little riff or how pointed his comments would become. Liam had always been protective of his little brother, but he hadn’t realized until now that Grady felt exactly the same about him.

19

T
HROUGHOUT
AN
EVENING
filled with belly laughs and happy tears, Hope kept remembering Grady’s words.
An awesome brother, he is.
She watched Liam joking with his foster brothers. Love shone in every teasing exchange. The first time he’d walked into the hotel lobby in Cody, she’d seen a handsome man. She still adored his blue-eyed, dark-haired gorgeousness, but now she saw so much more—kindness, loyalty and fierce protectiveness.

Grady shared those traits, and his comment had been meant as a warning. If she hurt Liam, Grady would shun her. Rosie and Herb wouldn’t be happy with her, either. She might be politely welcomed at Thunder Mountain Ranch because of Phil, but she would no longer be accepted the way she was now.

She hadn’t set out to hurt Liam but quite likely that would happen. He’d switched places before the ceremony so he could be with her. That had nothing to do with sex and everything to do with his growing affection and his not-so-hidden agenda. He was falling for her, and he wanted more than a week’s fling.

Not surprising. Anyone seeing him surrounded by his friends and family would recognize a man secure in his identity, a man ready to share his life with someone special. Their paths had crossed when he was looking for something she couldn’t provide. She should clarify that and she’d talk with him later on tonight. She’d broach the subject before they got naked. After that, rational discussion would be impossible.

But her plan didn’t turn out to be as workable as she’d thought. She didn’t want to discuss it while he drove them down to the meadow. The road was slick and muddy and he needed to concentrate.

He suggested leaving her boots in the truck so he’d be the only one tracking mud in. She went along with the idea even though she thought he was looking for an excuse to act manly. She didn’t miss the significance of being carried over the threshold, especially after they’d spent the entire day focused on wedding traditions.

The inside of the cabin was pretty dark, but Liam didn’t seem worried about illumination tonight. Kicking the door shut, he lowered her to the mattress. “I need you.” His voice was rough, but his mouth was gentle as it captured hers. And his experienced hands made short work of taking off her clothes. He had her out of her dress in no time, and her panties went sailing...somewhere.

Apparently he’d rather kiss her than take off his shirt or his boots. As that kiss became more urgent, he finally moved away long enough to accomplish the bare minimum. His belt buckle clanked and his zipper rasped before the crinkle of foil told her he’d located a condom. Breathing hard, he snapped the latex in place.

The denim of his jeans brushed her open thighs, and his first thrust lifted her off the mattress. Then he held very still as he gulped for air. “Don’t move. Don’t move or I’ll come.”

Her heart pounded with excitement. No man had ever wanted her this much. “Go ahead and come.”

“No.” He swallowed. “I’ll get it together in a second.” Taking a shaky breath, he leaned his forehead against hers. “I’ve been wanting you...ever since we left last night. I wanted to be here, deep inside. I couldn’t think of anything else. It’s been...a very long day.”

Slipping her hand beneath his shirt collar, she rubbed his neck. “I’m sorry.”

“My own damn fault. I tried to think of other stuff.” Slowly he eased out and back in. “But this was always in the back of my mind.” Raising his head, he began a slow rhythm. “It’s a wonder I remembered where I put the cake topper.”

She laughed. “Good thing you did.”

“No kidding.” He leaned down and feathered a kiss over her lips. “I like being inside you when you laugh. But mostly I just like being inside you.”

“I like that, too.” She wrapped him in her arms and closed her eyes. So good. If only she could be the woman he needed in his life.

Rocking forward until he filled her, he paused. “I can hear you thinking.”

“No, you can’t.” She lifted her hips to lock him in even tighter. Now wasn’t the time for discussion.

“What’s on your mind, little lady?”

“You.” Sliding both hands under his shirttails, she cupped his ass and began a slow massage.

He groaned softly. “What else?”

“Orgasms.”

“I wish I believed that.”

“Believe it, cowboy.” She wiggled against him and he gasped. “Believe it and make me come.”

“Ah, Hope.” But he began to move. Gone were the lazy strokes. He grasped her knees and pushed them toward her chest, pumping with deadly accuracy. Delicious pressure built as he quickened the pace. “How’s that?”

“Good.” She began to pant as her climax drew near. “Come with me.”

“But—”

“Please.” She moaned as he shifted his angle slightly, increasing the friction. “I love it when we come together.”

“Me, too.” He took a ragged breath. “You’re close.”

“Yes...
yes
.”

“Let go,” he murmured. “I’m right behind you.”

Surrendering to the rapid thrust of his cock, she spun into an orgasm filled with light and warmth. She knew it so well now that she didn’t even need to swear. Glorious. When he joined her there, his body shuddering against hers, she held him tight as joy and gratitude washed over her. No matter what happened, she would remember this moment forever.

* * *

D
ESPITE
GIVING
H
OPE
exactly what she’d asked for, Liam couldn’t shake the feeling that the other shoe was about to drop. He took care of the condom in the dark and stripped off the rest of his clothes, but then he searched for one of the lanterns. “I think we could use some light.”

“Not yet.”

He didn’t like the sound of that. “I like being able to see you when we...” He started to say
have sex
, but the description was all wrong. Yet if he said
make love
, she was liable to read something into it.

“I know you do. But for now, let’s leave it dark.”

“How about the candles? They give off a softer light.”

“Not right now, okay? Come back to bed. We need to talk.”

His chest tightened. “Ominous.” But he climbed back into bed with her and gathered her close. “You’re still wearing your bra. I never took it off you.”

“That’s okay. Listen, I—”

“I want to fix that.” Reaching behind her back, he unfastened the hooks and pushed the straps down over her shoulders.

“I’m trying not to think about why you’re so good at disrobing a woman. You’ve obviously had lots of practice.”

“Some.” He smiled as he finished taking off her bra and dropped it on the floor beside the bed. “Jealous?”

“Yes, and I’m ashamed of myself. I’m not allowed to be jealous under the circumstances.”

“But if you change the circumstances, you can be as jealous as you want.” He drew her back into his arms and sighed with contentment. Her warm, silky body nestled against his was heaven. He didn’t feel like talking. More of what they’d just enjoyed would beat talking all to hell.

“I don’t want to change the circumstances.”

Damn.
Apparently he’d made no progress whatsoever. Good thing he had several more days to work with. “Okay. Forget I mentioned it.”

“I can’t, just like I can’t forget that you orchestrated it so we could stand together and hold hands through the ceremony.”

“No biggie. I just felt like watching it while I was with you instead of standing between two of Rosie’s former coworkers.”

“To quote you, I wish I believed that.”

“It’s true.” He rubbed the small of her back and felt tension there.

“I’m sure it is. But I don’t believe that was your only motivation.”

She was right. He’d been going for significant moments, memories that would bring them closer together emotionally. And he’d been caught doing it. Now what?

“Your silence speaks volumes.”

“Okay, I wanted us to share that experience in case someday we wanted to look back on it...together.”

“Oh, Liam.” She sighed. “What have you told Grady?”

“Nothing about Tom or what happened between you two.”

“I wasn’t asking about that. You promised and you’ll keep your word. What did you say about your feelings for me?”

She’d backed him into a corner. “Look, before I tell you what I said to Grady, please know this. I’m a big boy. I can handle the situation.”

“By
handling the situation
, do you mean convincing me that we should be a couple?”

Apparently he hesitated a second too long.

“You do! I knew it!”

“Is that so bad? We get along great, in bed and out of it. Why not give it a try?”

“Because I’m not ready for that and might never be. I have to figure out who I am and what I want from life before I let another person in. I have no idea how long that will take, and it’s something I need to do alone. Becoming involved with you or any man would derail the process.”

He knew he shouldn’t say what he thought about that little speech, so he kept quiet and continued to massage her back. That might have been pointless, because her whole body had gone stiff as a board.

“Liam, please tell me you know what I’m talking about.”

Oh, God, she really was going to push it.

He knew his next words would screw things up, but if he couldn’t be honest with her, they had no future anyway. “Yes, and I think it’s bullshit.”

“What?”
She scrambled away from him.

“We need light.” He left the bed and stumbled around until he located a lantern on a shelf. He turned it on low before setting it beside the bed.

She was sitting up with the sheet clasped protectively over her bare breasts. Her elaborate hairdo was coming down, and a couple of the flowers had fallen onto the pillow. “If that’s the way you feel, maybe I should get dressed and go back to the ranch house.”

His heart sank. “If you want to go back, I’ll drive you, but at least give me a chance to explain.”

Her gray eyes glittered with anger. “Why should I?”

“Because I’m not trying to hurt you. I’m trying to help.”

“Oh, yeah, I’ve heard
that
before.”

“Please.”

She blew out a breath. “All right. Go ahead.”

This was so damned important, and he’d never been a wordsmith. He thought of all the conversations he’d had with Grady about self-knowledge and nurturing that creative spark. “You say you don’t know who you are, but I think you do, deep down.”

Her chin lifted. “Oh, really? What gave you that great insight?”

“Several things. Partly your bathrobe.”

“My
bathrobe
?”

“You’ve held on to it since high school. How come?”

“It’s cozy.”

“And it also belonged to the girl who wrote a little song to apologize for stealing flowers. I’m going to take a wild guess that you did a lot of writing in that bathrobe.”

Her eyes flashed in defiance. “Well, I don’t anymore. I’ve moved on.”

“You’re a writer, Hope. It’s what you were meant to do.”

“That’s not true!” She leaped out of bed and began putting on her clothes with jerky, uncoordinated movements.

“But it was so important to you!”

“Must not have been or I’d have kept doing it, wouldn’t I?”

“Not if it hurts.”

She met his gaze and for one brief moment let him see the agony there. “I’m done with writing. That’s all there is to say.”

“I don’t know about writing, but I know about sports injuries. When I used to get injured I had to rest my arm or my leg, but then I’d gradually start using it again. That hurt, but it was the only way to get back to normal.”

Her defiant mask slipped back into place. “Nice story. Doesn’t fit. I don’t want to go out on the field again, Coach. I have zero inspiration. The well’s dry.”

“I don’t believe that. He took one book. You have dozens of books still inside you.”

“How can you know such a thing? Like you just admitted, you’re not a writer!” Her body vibrated with rage. “That one book was the basis for a series of books. I had it all figured out with a whole cast of characters, and it’s gone. Gone!”

“So what?” He got up and pulled on his briefs and jeans.

“So
what
? Now I know you can’t possibly understand. He took work I’d labored over for
years
. I can’t just start over!”

He gazed at her. “Yes, you can. I know you can. He stole that project, but if you give up writing, you’ve allowed him to steal your entire creative life.”

Quivering, she stared at him in silence. Finally she cleared her throat. “And I thought you were kind. I thought you were compassionate. But you’re not, Liam Magee. You’re just like Tom, who wanted me to fit into a certain preconceived mold. Well, I’m not doing that. Do you hear me? I’m not doing that!”

Her words cut deeper than he’d ever imagined. “Hope, please. I’m not asking you to be what I want. I’m asking you to be yourself.”

“To use your word, bullshit!” She raced for the door and jerked it open.

“Hey, I’ll drive you!”

“Never mind!”

“Damn it, you’re barefoot!” And so was he, but he charged out the door after her anyway.

“Leave me alone, Liam!” She ran through the muddy grass.

He ran after her, slipping and almost going down. But he caught her and pulled her into his arms.

She resisted and beat on his chest as tears poured down her cheeks. “Let me go! I hate you!”

“Hope...” He stared helplessly at her tears, knowing he’d made her cry. All he’d ever wanted was to bring her joy.

She gazed up at him, her cheeks wet and her hair a tangled mess. “Let me go.”

He relaxed his grip. Slipping out of his arms, she turned away and started toward the house. But he had one more thing to say, and this might be his last chance. “I love you.”

She paused.

For one heart-stopping moment, he thought she might come running back to him.

Apparently that only happened in the movies. She didn’t turn around, but she did respond. “Tom used to say that, too.” Then she continued walking.

Yeah, but I mean it.
He let her go because she’d told him to. He felt hollow inside and knew he was in for some rough times. But he’d said what was in his heart, every bit of it. What happened next was up to her.