Cowboy Command (10 page)

“
It wasn’t your fault, Seth.”  She put every ounce of conviction she felt into her statement. 

Seth gave her a sad smile and it broke her heart. 
“Honey, you’re sweet to say that.  But the truth is, it was my fault.  I know it, and Trent knows it.  Now you know it.”

She shook her head, not wanting him to take the blame. 
“It’s not.  Kids do stupid shit.”

“
I didn’t steal a rival school’s mascot, Presley.  I killed my best friend.”

“
It was an accident,” she said desperately. 

Seth took another long swallow of his beer, his face unutterably sad. 
“Yes, it was an accident.  That doesn’t make Trent any more alive, does it?”

It didn
’t, but that wasn’t the saddest thing of all.  Trent had gone on to a better place.  Seth was still living here in his own self-constructed purgatory.  It didn’t appear he was looking for a way out, either.  He was settled in for the long haul.

Seth
’s lips twisted.  “Listen, about earlier…”

Presley lifted her hands in surrender. 
“I get it.  It was a mistake.”

“
Not a mistake, just…I think we should slow things down a bit, that’s all.”

It was strange to hear a man talk about slowing down when it came to sex.  It wasn
’t just the woman’s prerogative after all.  Obviously, she’d gotten too close.

“
We probably should.  Maybe we should take a break from spending time together outside the office.”

“
I didn’t mean we shouldn’t see each other,” Seth insisted.  “I just meant we’ve only known each other a week.  Maybe we should get to know each other more.”

Presley didn
’t know an elegant way of saying what she needed to say, so she was simply going to put it out there.  “I’m not sure it’s a good idea for us to see each other at all.  Shit, Seth, you’re a buttoned-up control freak.  My life is in chaos.  Sure, I’m pretending while I’m here that everything is normal, but let’s face it, it’s not.”  She shook her head, thinking about how she lived her life in Tampa.  “If I’m brutally honest, my regular life isn’t all that in control.  I’ve been drifting from job to job since I quit school.  My sister says I have no direction.  My friends say I’m trying to find myself.  I can’t even keep a houseplant alive.  I wanted to get a cat and my friends talked me out of it, fearing for its life.  If you’re attracted to a woman like Eliza, I’d make you crazy inside of a month.  I don’t like rules.  I don’t like barriers.  I do like you.  That’s why I think you should know what you’re getting into.  It won’t be peaceful and sedate.  It’ll be a roller coaster ride.  You have to really want that.”

She blew out a breath as she waited for his response to her monologue.  They weren
’t right for each other, but damn if she didn’t really like this man.  He wasn’t only handsome and sexy, he was good.  And kind.  And she felt safe and protected when he was around. 

Seth rubbed his chin. 
“Maybe today isn’t the day to make decisions.  Why don’t we enjoy our food and the game?  Nothing more complicated than that.  There’s time to figure out all the other things later.  Neither one of us is going anywhere.”

Presley slumped back into the booth.  It sounded like a nice way to brush her off.  He didn
’t want to hurt her feelings, which was so like Seth.  She’d only known him a week but she knew he didn’t like hurting people.  She nodded in agreement, but inside wanted to crawl away and lick her wounds.  Seth didn’t want her the way she was. 

She didn
’t know any other way to be, and she wouldn’t, couldn’t, change for him.  She’d tried that once, and it hadn’t worked out at all.

* * * *
*

Seth couldn
’t sleep.  It had been one hell of a day and although his mind was emotionally drained, his body was too keyed up to sleep.  He put it down to Sunday Night Insomnia, but he knew who the real culprit was.

Presley.

His body still remembered being on top of her, stroking her soft skin, and breathing in her delicate scent.  It was telling his brain he was a stupid idiot who ought to be with Presley now, deep inside her.  Instead he was sitting in his kitchen eating cookies his mother had brought over earlier.  She’d given him a look as if she’d wanted to ask him what was wrong, but she hadn’t.  They’d chatted about the weather and Eliza’s new boyfriend.  His mother had been waiting for him to say something, but the days of running to Mommy for comfort were long gone. 

She
’d been there for him when Trent was killed.  They’d been like brothers so she’d loved Trent like a son.  Seth hadn’t really thought about that until this moment.  She must have been as broken up as he was but she’d been the strong one.  She’d been the one who dragged Seth’s ass out of bed every day when all he wanted to do was sleep and forget.  She was the one who had supported his decision to work in law enforcement when he returned from Iraq, over his father’s objections.  His mother had been there every step of the way asking nothing in return.

Like Presley.  She hadn
’t asked for much tonight.  Just his understanding of who she really was.  Seth knew she was a bundle of trouble.  The way she drank cup after cup of coffee all day long.  The way she engaged with complete strangers all over town.  She’d met a lot of people in the last week and they all loved her.  Why not?  She was sweet and kind and she made people feel good about themselves.

Even him. 

She made him feel like a god.  That day they’d found Millie, her expression had been filled with admiration.  She looked at him as if he were some great protector.  Seth knew the truth.  When it came down to it, would he be able to keep Presley from harm or would he fail her as he’d failed Trent that day?  He’d spent his entire adult life trying to make up for that moment.  He wasn’t sure if it was even possible, but he couldn’t stop himself.  It drove him every waking moment of every day.  The need to atone was strong.  And painful.

Whatever happened between him and Presley, Seth vowed he would do everything in his power to keep her safe and alive.  She was so full of life and spirit.  It would be wrong for it to be extinguished too early.  She m
ight decide not to be with him.  He would keep her safe and alive and deliver her back to her old life. 

He
’d go back to the life he had before she came here only one week ago.  Solid and controlled. 

Chapter Eight

Presley pressed the button on the new coffee machine she
’d picked up in the city on Saturday before heading back to her desk.  She needed the caffeine.  She hadn’t slept well last night.  It wasn’t surprising but it was starting to wear on her.  When she’d looked in the mirror this morning, there were purple shadows under her eyes.  She’d spent an extra minute with the concealer, hoping no one would notice.

There wasn
’t much to do today.  She’d spent most of last week re-organizing the office and it was much easier to manage now.  Everything was at her fingertips and the paperwork was under control.  Maybe she could talk Seth into letting her scan in the old paper records so they could be digitized.  The printer was also a scanner so it wouldn’t cost the city any money.  She would need to set up a meta tag system so they could be searched, but she’d done it at one of her previous shit jobs.  The bundled software the office used had the capability.  It would be a challenge to figure out how to use it, and a nice present to leave Harper when she finally moved on.

She was absorbed in the software manual when the front door opened and Marion Reilly bustled in with a smile.  Presley really liked Seth
’s mom but was instantly wary as to why she was here.  It had been clear as a bell the night Presley had dinner at the Reilly ranch, Mom Reilly wanted her baby boy married off, and giving her some grandchildren.  Several hints had been dropped Presley’s way when they were touring the Elvis room.

“
Mrs. Reilly!  How lovely to see you this morning.  Would you like a cup of coffee?”

“
I certainly would, dear.  It’s chilly this morning.  And please, call me Marion.”  Marion peeled the gloves from her fingers and shrugged off her coat, taking a seat on the other side of Presley’s desk.

“
How do you take yours?”  Marion told her and Presley made two coffees, before settling back in her chair.  “What brings you to town so early in the morning?”

Marion sipped at the hot liquid and her face split into a smile. 
“That’s wonderful.  It may be the best coffee I’ve had since our vacation three years ago to Seattle.  We went to visit an old friend of George’s.  The coffee there was sinfully delicious.”

“
I bought a new coffeemaker when Eliza and I went shopping on Saturday.”  Presley waved to the shiny stainless steel machine with several buttons and levers.  It was state of the art and the coffee she was now drinking was kick-ass.  A huge improvement on the drip dinosaur Presley had shoved in the storage closet.

“
As for what brings me to town this early, on Monday mornings I do my grocery shopping for the week.  I like to get there early when it’s not very busy and get it done.  I’m making bread today.  Do you like to bake?”

“
I can make cookies,” Presley laughed.  “My talents don’t run to something like bread.  It sounds tasty, though.”

“
Why don’t you come to dinner tonight and try some?  I’m making lasagna and garlic bread.  Do you like lasagna?”

Presley loved lasagna but she wasn
’t sure this invitation didn’t come with strings attached.  “I do, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea.  I’m not sure how Seth would feel about it, honestly.”

Marion patted her hand. 
“I appreciate your honesty.  It’s one of the things I like about you.  You tell the unvarnished truth.  But you do it with love.  It’s a rare person who can do that.”

Presley felt like shit.  She was keeping a huge secret from Marion.  Her real identity.  She wasn
’t fighting crime like Batman to make it okay.  Presley was just trying to stay alive.

“
Thank you, I try.  But no one is truthful all the time.”  She’d learned that the hard way.

“
True.  You’re special, Presley.  I think so, and I know Seth thinks so.  I saw him last night when he came home.  I know that haunted look in his eyes.  Something reminded him of Trent.  Did he tell you about Trent?”

Presley took a sip of the scalding liquid, letting the caffeine calm her nerves. 
“He told me Trent was his best friend and about the accident.  He told me it was his fault.”

Marion
’s eyes were bright with unshed tears.  “It wasn’t his fault.  Those two boys and their friends were wild, no one more so than Trent.  He was a sweet boy, a good boy, but he was a daredevil.  Riding between two trucks was only one of the stunts he liked to pull on a regular basis.  He drove his souped-up car too fast, and he rode his motorcycle too fast.  He drank on the weekends and got in fights.”  Marion sighed and put down her coffee cup.  “And I loved him.  We all did.  He was the nicest boy you’d ever meet.  All the young men were a little wild, to tell you the truth.  I probably don’t know a fraction of the crazy things they did and that’s just fine with me.  I’m sure it would turn my hair gray.  Well, grayer.”  Marion smiled sadly. 

Presley frowned. 
“That doesn’t sound like the Trent Seth described.”

“
Yes.” Marion nodded.  “He only thinks about the good in Trent, which was so many things, but he doesn’t think about Trent’s flaws.  He had those too.  We all do.  No one was responsible for Trent’s death that day.  Not Seth, not Trent.  It was an accident.  A stupid, tragic accident.”

“
Seth’s spent his life trying to make up for it, hasn’t he?”

“
He has.  At first I encouraged it.  I thought it would help him get over things.  When he enlisted in the Army and then when he decided not to work the ranch but go into law enforcement, I supported those decisions.  Unfortunately as the years have passed it doesn’t seem to make any difference.  He’s still trying to make up for that day.”

“
We saw a bunch of teenagers doing that same thing yesterday.  That riding between two cars thing.”

“
That’s what set this off then?”  Marion pushed away her empty coffee cup.  “I’d wondered.  Kids have been doing this for years, long before that movie showed it.  They’ll be doing it long after I’m gone.  Seth’s fighting a losing battle.”

“
You feel immortal at that age.”  Presley refilled Marion’s cup and her own.  She needed a second cup for this conversation. 

Marion chuckled. 
“I know I did.  Seth did too.  Such memories of my youth.  I wish Seth’s hadn’t been spoiled.”  Marion looked straight into Presley’s eyes.  “Since then he’s been a different person.  He tries to be in control of everything.  He follows rules to the letter.  He used to be more laidback and relaxed.  He’s not the same boy I raised.” 

Presley swallowed hard. 
“I’m trouble.”

Marion looked at her for a long time before nodding. 
“Yes, and that’s what makes you perfect for him.  He needs someone to shake him out of his complacency.  Eliza was a sweet girl but she wasn’t for Seth.  She and Seth both need someone to bring fire and passion into their lives.  They couldn’t do it for each other.”

Marion knew her son.  Presley found herself longing for a close family like the Reillys.  She
’d seen the love between them and it made her wonder why she’d never been able to inspire that kind of love in her own small and dysfunctional family. 

“
I’m not sure he agrees.  We kind of decided last night to maybe take a break from spending personal time together.”

Marion stirred her coffee, a smile playing around her lips. 
“I won’t allow that to happen.  You’re the one, Presley.”

Presley shook her head
.  “I’m not.  I won’t even be−” She broke off, realizing she couldn’t say she wasn’t planning to stay in Harper.  “It’s just that we met only a week ago.  I’m not sure we know each other very well.”

“
You mean you haven’t slept together yet,” Marion stated, much to Presley’s shock.  “What are you waiting for?”

Presley tried to hide her smile. 
“I don’t know, to be honest.  I think we both want to.”

Marion snorted. 
“All men want to, dear.  Do you want to?”

Fuck yeah, she did.  She
’d never been this attracted to a man in her life.

“
I think so.  He’s a complicated man, Marion.  It might not work out.”

“
How do you know if you don’t take a chance?”  Marion stood and started to pull on her coat and gloves.  “I’ll text Seth and tell him to bring you to dinner tonight.  If you want something, dear, you have to go after it.  The more it means to you, the more you have to work for it.  But it’s worth it, I promise.  Don’t let Seth’s melancholy and doubts drive you away.  Don’t let him fill you with his own pain.  Sweep it away and replace it with something infinitely better.”

“
What?”  Presley stood to see Marion to the door.

Marion smiled as she headed out. 
“Why, love, of course.  Thank you for the coffee.  See you tonight.”

Presley fell back into her chair
, almost choking on her own spit.  Love was the last thing she needed.

* * * *
*

His mother was up to her usual tricks.  Seth had brought Presley to dinner tonight as requested.  He wasn
’t sure it was a good idea though.  The day had been long and awkward, broken only by the occasional visitor who stopped by to chat with Presley and have a cup of her coffee.  She’d been proud as punch of her new coffeemaker and even Seth had to admit it made a damn fine cup of coffee.  She’d even frothed his milk.  At first, when she’d offered it to him, he’d thought frothed milk was some sort of euphemism.  When he realized she was seriously offering him whipped milk in his coffee, he’d graciously accepted, remembering the fancy coffees he’d drank as a rookie cop in Denver. 

His parents had kept the conversation flowing all during dinner and it was probably time for him to take Presley back to her apartment.  Seth found her staring out the window of the famil
y room.  He walked up behind her, and was immediately surrounded by her soft, clean scent.  He had to fight the urge to pull her into his arms.  He wasn’t sure what she wanted from him now.  Yesterday had started so promising, but it had all gone to hell in a hand basket, and it was all his fault.  He settled for placing his hands on her shoulders.

“
What are you looking at so intently out there?”

She turned slightly so he could see she was smiling. 
“The snow.  I’d never seen snow until I came here.”

Sometimes he forgot she had another life away from here.  One he wasn
’t part of and never would be.  “It’s just cold and white.  Shoveling it is hard on your back and slippery under your feet.”

She shook her head. 
“It’s beautiful.  I never thought snow could be beautiful, but it is.  Look at the way the full moon reflects off the new snow.  It’s like something out of a movie or a painting.”

Seth looked at the back yard through Presley
’s eyes.  The carpet of white that sparkled under the moon reminded him of a book he’d read as a young boy.  He couldn’t remember what the title was, but he did remember one thing.  People liked to play in the snow.  He hadn’t done it in years but he still remembered how.

“
So you’ve never built a snowman?”

Presley chuckled. 
“Beach sand makes great castles.  I haven’t tried to make a person.”

He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the door. 
“We need to address these gaps in your education and there’s no time like the present.”

She gasped in surprise as he bundled her up in her heavy coat.  He pulled on his own while she tugged on gloves and wound a scarf around her head and neck.  She looked so cute, dressed like a little girl about to play in the snow.  Seth wanted to make up for being a total prick yesterday and showing her the magic of snow seemed as good a way as any.  He yelled into the living room that they were headed outside for a little while. 

The evening was cold but not deathly freezing.  He wasn’t going to tell Presley the weather she was experiencing now was only going to get colder.  As it was, she kept the space heater turned up next to her desk each day at the office.  He flipped on the outdoor floodlights and led her to the middle of their large backyard.  Gathering a mound of snow together, he started to pack it together to make a ball. 

“
Roll this along in the snow and it will grow.”  He pushed the small snowball toward her.  “We do this three times, each one progressively smaller.”

Presley was bent over, pushing the snowball through the snow. 
“I know what a snowman looks like, Seth,” she huffed.  He started on the second snowball, building it up much faster than Presley.  She was scowling with her hands on her hips when he finished the second one before she was done with the first.

“
Shit, how did you do that so fast?”

“
Years of practice, honey.  Let’s get this old guy put together.”

He helped her finish the last snowball, laughing at how lopsided it was before he smoothed it into an icy sphere. 
They stacked the snowballs one on top of the other and stood back to survey their work.  Seth was about to commandeer Presley’s scarf when his mother came out with an old cardboard box he recognized instantly.