Cowboy for Keeps (8 page)

“You weren’t out of line. I needed a kick in the pants. It’s at least something for me to think about. New perspectives and all.”

Her gaze was stuck on his hand on her arm. She forced herself to raise her head. “I hope if you think it’s good advice, you’ll take some of it. You aren’t the type of man who would knowingly put yourself or someone else at risk. For some reason you were meant to be in this wheelchair in this moment in time.”

“I don’t know if I believe that.”

He’d almost opened up a bit, but now he was shutting down again. Amanda pushed. “I don’t begin to understand the mind of God. Believe me, I’m the worst—” She stopped herself. She could not go where she’d almost gone. “I believe that God has a reason and a purpose for everything. Whether you agree with him or not.” If he only knew how hard it was for her to believe what she was saying. “Even you being in this wheelchair, at this time and place. Maybe it’s so you’ll go to church in this chair, and get over your pride—”

He shot her an icy glare. “Pride—” The phone rang and he reached for it. “I’m expecting a conference call. I’m not going to church.”

And that was that. She watched him drive into the other room, frustration settling over her. He’d iced over like a freeze pop when she’d blurted out
pride.
Any moron would know you don’t call someone on their pride unless you’re prepared for them to cut you off instantly out of exactly that emotion.

She might not ever get him to listen to her now.

I
n the predawn hours of Sunday morning Wyatt gave up trying to sleep. He sat up, ignoring all the parts of him that protested with shooting pain. It wasn’t his shoulder, his hip or his back or nightmares that kept him up for most of the night. It was Amanda.

She’d heaped the guilt on the day before.
Pride.
She’d thought he was too proud to be seen in the wheelchair. He hadn’t needed her to point out to him that there were people who couldn’t get out of their chairs. She’d acted like he didn’t know this… He knew better than anyone that he could have very easily been one of them.

He carefully swung his legs over the edge of the bed, stood for a minute before easing into the wheelchair. He could feel the progress they’d made, feel the strength coming back to him and knew the pain was ebbing, also. Still, he despised the wheelchair more every day even knowing soon he wouldn’t have to use it anymore.

He’d been whining.

He shouldn’t have been startled by her boldness when she’d tried to put him in his place for it.

Whining. The thought hit him and it wasn’t pleasant. The idea was so far removed from what he’d ever thought he’d do in the face of adversity that he wanted to shove it away and deny it.

Uncomfortable with the idea, he drove the chair to the kitchen and made himself a pot of coffee. By the time he poured himself a cup, he wasn’t feeling any better about himself. He was still sitting at the front windows as the sun’s morning light began to seep through the darkness. The last thing he was expecting to see as the thin sliver of pink crept over the treetops was Amanda. But there she was rounding the end of the house
jogging
down the road. But it was the prosthetic leg that caused him to almost drop his coffee.

She had on a blue top and gray running shorts that completely exposed the prosthetic leg made specially shaped for running. Her leg was missing from about five inches above the knee, and the prosthetic slipped over her thigh. The reality of what the drunk driver had done to her hit him like a punch in the gut, knocked the breath out of him. No wonder she’d given him a dressing-down over his attitude about the wheelchair. He felt sick. Even though he’d been in the process of taking a good hard look at himself, it didn’t matter. Now he felt embarrassed by his entire attitude.

Here he was temporarily in a wheelchair with a clean bill of health ahead of him, according to Amanda and the doctors, and still he was whining.

Some man he turned out to be.

His disgust couldn’t be measured, it was so great.

Amanda had lost her entire leg and hadn’t said anything. No, on the contrary. She had taken what life had thrown at her and she’d triumphed over it. She’d become a physical therapist—working with kids who needed her attention and upbeat attitude. And on top of that she was running.

It was amazing.

He remembered her asking about his running and wondered why she’d chosen not to mention it then. Why had she not told him about her leg?
You fired her, you jerk, for being too small and too young.
She probably was afraid he’d fire her again if he knew about her leg. Remorse sank over him like a black cloud. She would have been right. For certain, he wouldn’t have thought she was strong enough if he’d known this. He knew differently now, though. Amanda Hathaway was stronger than she looked…inside and outside.

Feeling like a fool, he watched her cross over the cattle guard and head down the gravel road dissecting the pastures. She followed the curved road across the prairie with such grace and fluidity that he found watching her hypnotizing.

Transfixed, he watched until she disappeared over the horizon where the trees peeked over the edge. He was profoundly and humbly changed as he sat there watching the spot where she’d disappeared.

Amanda had faced death and lost a limb and yet she’d overcome it. Instead of floundering as he’d been doing, she’d flourished.

Wyatt took a long draw on his coffee, then he turned his chair around and headed toward his bedroom.

Amanda pushed hard as she ran. Sleeplessness had driven her from her bed and out into the morning light with a vengeance. She’d given Wyatt all that advice the day before and felt like a hypocrite.

Why was it that depression and doubts always surged back just after progress was made? It was as if the devil were reaching out and pulling her back into the hole.

God had a reason and a purpose for everything.

Boy, she’d been real quick to spout that advice off to Wyatt. Even telling him that him being in that wheelchair at this time was His purpose—what had she been thinking? She didn’t know God’s reasoning. She kept trying to figure out her own way and couldn’t do it, but she was sure full of advice for Wyatt.

So what had she been doing lecturing Wyatt on his attitude toward wheelchairs?

Needing to clear her head, she’d taken action, dressed in her running clothes, pulled on her running prosthetic and headed out into the gravel roads with the welcoming spirit she’d had all her life toward jogging. When she ran she was strong. She felt happy. She felt like anything was possible. And usually she felt at peace—that hadn’t been the case for weeks. But still, she’d needed it these days more than ever.

“God never promised that life would always be easy,” she said, out loud now. “He did promise that He would be with His people always and that He would help them. He will help Wyatt. And He will help me.”

He would. It just seemed like…she couldn’t find peace about it. Why was that? She felt such betrayal over what Jonathan had done, and she felt betrayed by God, too. This was where the turmoil lay.

She watched the sun rise as she ran down the gravel road that seemed to head straight for the glowing ball lifting upward. She asked God to give her the peace she needed….

If only she could get Jonathan and the life she’d envisioned with him off her mind. And the children. Her purpose seemed so far away from her now she couldn’t get her heart back into it.

She’d thought getting here to Mule Hollow and throwing herself into this job with a demanding client would be her saving grace. But this morning, the loss she felt inside was so great she could hardly stand it. All she could think about was never giving birth to her own children. Or having a husband.

“You
will
marry one day,” she said, rather loudly. There was no one around to hear her and she needed to hear the words. “You will find a good man who won’t think you aren’t worth marrying because you can’t carry his children…” Her voice broke and she stumbled to a stop; hands on her knees, she bent forward and blinked back the surge of tears that had risen suddenly. How was she supposed to help Wyatt when she couldn’t help herself? Nothing she’d said the day before had gotten through to him.

The cattle kept on chewing as they studied her. It was like they were waiting for her to continue.
Focus.

Amanda blinked hard and thought of Wyatt. She was here to help him. “Suck it up and focus on what God has for you to do.” Resuming her jogging, she evaluated her plan. Help him get on his feet. Help him get back to his life. Help him move past the things eating at him and holding him back. This job was about him, not her.

“You can help him.”

And today that started with getting him to church. Getting him out of that house and back in the midst of people. She already knew that the folks of Mule Hollow would eagerly welcome him. She’d worry about herself later.

All she had to do was get him out of the house.

The last thing she expected an hour later, after she’d showered and dressed for church, was to round the corner to find Wyatt sitting on the porch with his Bible in his lap, also dressed for church.

She’d worried when she came back from jogging that he had seen her leg. She’d been so focused on running at the time that she’d overlooked the fact that he would be awake when she returned. But as she’d jogged past the house she’d decided if he was outside then it was meant to be. She was going to have to tell him anyway. It was time. He’d either respect her for the PT that she was or he’d give her the boot.

But finding him ready for church, in starched jeans and a crisp white shirt, threw her.

She halted at the bottom of the steps. “Hi. Don’t you look nice.” She didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but her heart was pounding with hope.

His gaze was serious as he gave her a slow smile. “Thought I’d hitch a ride with you this morning, if that’s all right.”

A smile as wide as the Guadalupe River cracked across her face. “I think that would simply be wonderful.”

The Mule Hollow Church of Faith was a sweet little number on the outskirts of town. The rural church made Amanda think of weddings and picnics on the lawn. The classic white-washed chapel with a tall steeple looked well maintained and inviting. It fit the country, down-home town perfectly and she could easily see happy couples standing together at the front of the church saying their vows before God and all of their friends and family. It would have been a lovely place for—
Hold it!
Amanda’s thoughts came to a screeching halt. She was done imagining weddings. This was a good day and she didn’t plan to spoil it. Wyatt had agreed to come to church with her and that had made her day brighter than she’d ever expected.

“I love it,” she said, glancing at Wyatt. “Is this where you went to church growing up?”

“All my life. See that second window? I threw a baseball through that when I was nine. I thought my mother was going to kill me. She’d already told me that I needed to stop throwing the ball to Cole so close to the church because he might miss one. And he did. The ball tipped his glove and crashed through the window.”

Amanda could just see them standing there. She knew without being told that Cole had idolized his big brother and Wyatt had probably taken his role as older brother seriously, even at that young age.

“You didn’t listen,” she guessed. His look said he’d been in hot water.

“You better believe I did the
next
time, though. I had to save up my own money to repay my parents for repairing the window. Plus, every Saturday for a month I had to weed the flower beds. I hated weeding then and more than ever now.”

She laughed. “Your parents knew that, didn’t they?”

“Oh, yeah. They got my attention.”

Amanda laughed as she got out of the SUV. No sooner had she gotten the wheelchair unloaded from the chair rack on the back of the vehicle than they were spotted. Then surrounded. Poor Wyatt had more help getting out of the vehicle than he wanted, but he was pretty good at hiding his feelings. She, however, could tell that all the attention bothered him. She still didn’t have a clue what had changed his mind, but she was glad they were here.

Norma Sue was the first to come barreling across the lawn with her husband, Roy Don, in tow. Wyatt filled her in on that tidbit as they came. The same with Esther Mae and her husband, Hank.

“It’s a pure miracle that you got this man out of his house,” Norma Sue said, practically tackling Wyatt to give him a hardy hug.

Esther Mae was right behind her. “We are so glad you came,” she said, pushing Norma Sue out of the way and getting her own hug. She had on a lime-green hat with red daisies clustered all about its brim, and when she engulfed Wyatt the brim whacked him in the nose.

“Like your hat, Esther Mae.” He chuckled, meeting Amanda’s gaze over Esther’s shoulder. It looked as if his head was going to get squeezed right off.

“Don’t smother him, Esther Mae,” Norma Sue huffed.

“I’m not doing anything you didn’t do,” she snapped, finishing off with one more squeeze that caused the hem of her dress to dance right along with the daisies. “When do you get out of that?” she asked as she pulled away and straightened her hat.

It wasn’t exactly the question Amanda had hoped Wyatt would get the minute he ventured out. She was afraid it wouldn’t help the situation, but to her pleasant surprise, Wyatt didn’t seem bothered. Instead he gave Esther Mae a gentle, almost flirtatious smile that had Amanda enjoying his interaction with the two older ladies.

“This next week is the goal, so says my boss.” He gave Amanda a warm glance.

The charm in that glance and the way his voice dipped low on the last words sent a shiver of attraction racing through Amanda. Her heart lifted even more. Wyatt’s sudden turnaround had given her own hard morning a turnaround. To her surprise, the sting of tears ambushed her. She looked down quickly and blinked them away. She’d been doing so well. Why now? Why were these emotions raging forward now, here? She could not cry in front of all these people.

Especially Wyatt.

She couldn’t answer questions about what was wrong with her and she certainly didn’t want Wyatt asking her what was wrong. Was it that her emotions were just so close to the surface that being happy for Wyatt’s attitude adjustment was enough to set them off? That was all she could figure.

Wyatt caught sight of her staring and hiked a brow, ever so subtly. Immediately she realized that she’d been staring at him. She yanked her eyes from him and focused on what Norma Sue was saying.

“…your parents loved each other, too, and don’t you ever forget it.” Norma Sue patted his shoulder.

“They’d be mighty proud of you.”

Amanda couldn’t help but look at him. His jaw jerked ever so slightly and he tensed up on his left side. As quick as that, he was suddenly in jeopardy of pushing himself into a spasm…all because something about that statement bothered him.

“Me and Esther Mae are singing the special in the choir this morning, so we have to head on in, too. See y’all later.”

Esther Mae gaped at him, her big green eyes wide. “I still can’t get over how great you look, Wyatt. Why, you’re the picture of health.” She grinned. “I think Amanda must be good for you.” With that she spun and hurried after Norma Sue into the church.