Cowboy in Charge (13 page)

“You’ve got that right.” He laughed and shook his head. “I missed a couple of suppers she invited me to, and I thought I’d never hear the end of it.”

“Well, cooking for folks is her way of showing she cares.” Jed gestured to a carafe on a side table. “Maria just put out a fresh pot of coffee. Help yourself.”

He poured a cup and took a seat at the smaller table near the window Jed had chosen.

“If you’re looking for Cole, you’re out of luck. The boys found a break in a water pipe out by one of the supply cabins, and he’s gone into town to pick up what they’ll need to take care of things. He left only a bit ago. In fact, I’m surprised you two didn’t pass each other along the road.”

“We met out back just now.” Jed’s brows went up, maybe in question, but as far as he was concerned, the less said about that conversation, the better. “I’m not looking for anyone in particular, just killing time.” He didn’t know why he’d driven out here at all, except, like the apartment he’d once shared with Layne, he had always felt comfortable at the Hitching Post. The cup of coffee had only been the first excuse to come to mind.

“Killing time?” Jed said. “That doesn’t sound good.”

He shrugged. “Layne went to work for a while earlier today. She said she’s doing okay, and she’s sticking around the apartment this afternoon.”

Jed eyed him for a long moment, then said, “I don’t guess it was easy for her, having you show up again out of the blue.”

“I suppose not.”

“No supposing about it. You’ve got to keep an open mind about how she’s thinking.”

“I’m trying to. But that ought to work both ways.”

“Sometimes it’s hard to let your guard down, especially when you’ve got good reason to put it up in the first place.” When he said nothing, Jed sighed and went on. “Son, you’re on your own, you can come and go as you please, can make decisions without having to consider anyone else’s welfare. Layne has got more than just herself to think about.”

“Yeah. I know that.”

Just as he knew what he’d done to her was wrong. He’d already acknowledged it and wanted to make amends. And naturally, Layne had dug in her heels and fought him.

The grief he was getting from folks didn’t make that easy, either.

He really hadn’t had a clue what his return to Cowboy Creek would be like. But he sure couldn’t miss the challenges now.

Chapter Thirteen

“How is everything going with Jason?” Shay asked.

She had arrived on the doorstep so soon after he had left, Layne almost wondered if her friend had been keeping the apartment under surveillance. But that was a crazy thought.

All through their conversation, Shay hadn’t once mentioned Jason’s name—until now, just when she had slipped into her jacket and was getting ready to leave, too. Just when Layne thought she might have managed to escape having to discuss her ex...her
first
ex.

Could Shay have waited deliberately, wanting to catch her off guard?

Another crazy thought. What was wrong with her? When she had met Shay at the L-G Store, she had misunderstood her friend’s concern. And now she was letting her uncertainty over Jason make her read too much into everything. Shay was a good friend, one she could trust.

With a sigh, she rested against the armchair Jason favored. “Everything’s perfectly fine. When it’s not absolutely awful.”

Shay laughed and settled onto the couch again. “Now, that was the most contradictory answer I’ve ever heard. So, which is it? Tell me the truth.”

She glanced across the room. Scott was playing quietly—so far—while Jill napped in her playpen. She looked back at Shay. “The truth is, I don’t know how things are going. Jason is...he seems to be getting along with the kids. And for Scott’s sake, I have to want that.”

“And for your sake? What do
you
want?”

“Just that. I guess.” She smacked the arm of the chair in frustration but kept her voice low. “Shay, I’m the
last
person to know what’s best for anyone, including myself. Once, I thought I wanted Jason. I thought we wanted each other. And you see what happened there. Then I thought things would work out with Terry. But that didn’t go as planned, either.”

“You can’t count that. The two of you weren’t together more than a few months.” Shay hesitated, then added, “Don’t get upset, but...did you ever think you might have picked him up on the rebound?”

She blinked. “No,” she said slowly. “That never occurred to me. But maybe I did. If so, unfortunately, that would only help prove my point about not knowing what’s best. After all, what kind of mother would do that to her child?”

“You’re a great mom. And you were only trying to give your son a daddy.”

“I wish I could convince myself that’s all it was.” But she knew in her heart it was so much more.

As she walked Shay to the door, she heard footsteps out in the hallway, followed by a brisk knock at the door.

When she opened the door, her brother, Cole, gave her a smile. It looked genuine, but nothing like the wide grin she was used to from him. She didn’t recall the tiny frown lines in his forehead, either.

“Hey, stranger.” He spotted Shay behind her. “Well, look who’s here. I run into you at the Hitching Post more often than I see my sister at all.”

“And I’m going to run right now,” Shay said, “so you can spend lots of time with her.” On her way out of the apartment, she waved goodbye to Layne. “I’ll call you.”

At the sound of Cole’s voice, Scott had rushed to the door. Layne watched while Cole caught him up in a bear hug and ruffled his hair.

“Uncle Cole, look.” He led Cole by the hand across the living room to show him his new motorway. “For my cars.”

“Hey, that’s not bad, Scotty. I’ll have to get Aunt Tina to bring Robbie over here sometime. You like to play cars with Robbie, don’t you?”

Scott nodded emphatically. “
And
Jason.”

Layne’s heart sank. She had hoped that somehow—by some form of magic, maybe?—they would get through Cole’s visit without Jason’s name coming up. But that hadn’t worked with Shay. And now the look Cole shot her said it was a worthless hope with him, too.

“What are you doing here on a workday?” she asked. She pushed away the thought he had made the trip in from Garland Ranch just to talk about her ex-husband. Then again, Cole knew he could talk to her about anything at any time. It didn’t always mean she felt prepared with answers. “Can I get you something? Coffee? Pop? Something to eat?”

“Sweet tea, if you’ve got it. Be back in a few minutes, Scott.” He followed her into the kitchen, then settled into the chair Jason always used. He glanced at the extra place mat without commenting on it. “I had to make a run to the hardware store and thought I’d drop by while I’m in town. With Pete away, I may not get the chance for another week or two.”

“I was so sorry to miss the wedding. Shay told me everything was wonderful.”

“Sure, if you call another man down being wonderful.”

She laughed. “Oh, stop. Pete’s a lucky man. And you know getting married was the best thing you’ve ever done.”

“Well...” Now he gave her his usual grin. “I can’t argue with you there. And you can’t argue with me about this—supper at the Hitching Post Sunday night. Tina and Paz are having fits since you didn’t make it to the wedding and they haven’t seen you in so long. They both made me promise I wouldn’t come back to the ranch without getting you to agree. And if I fail and they kick me out, I’d have nowhere to go.”

She laughed. “I’d always have room for you. You know that.”

“Not right now, considering you’ve already got a houseguest.”

She walked to the refrigerator for the tea pitcher. “No worries about where you’d go anyhow, since the kids and I would love to come for supper.”

“Good.”

“How’s Tina doing?” she asked. She poured a glass of tea and hoped she had successfully changed the subject.

“She’s fine. Worried about you and your flu right now.”

“I’m fine, too.”

“I’m more worried about the lingering aftereffects.”

Her hand trembled just a bit as she set his glass of tea in front of him. Unfortunately, she knew that had nothing to do with the flu. She sank into her seat across from him. “Except for feeling worn out, I’m doing okay.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“That’s what I was afraid of.”

“When you opened the door, you and Shay looked like you’d been in a serious discussion,” he said quietly. “And I’ll bet I don’t need two guesses to figure out the topic. Are you sure you know what you’re doing, letting Jason stay with you?”

Her laugh sounded a little crazed. “Right now, I don’t know anything about
anything
. But Jed said you had no rooms open at the Hitching Post, and I couldn’t just kick him out.”

He hesitated for a moment, staring at her, his eyes the same shade of blue as Scott’s and her own. Finally, he shrugged. “We could’ve put him up in the bunkhouse.”

“He was a big help here when I was sick, I have to admit that.”

“And what now?”

“I don’t know. He wants to spend time with Scott.”

“And that’s it?”

“And,” she added reluctantly, “he wants to pay me child support.”

“Why shouldn’t he? I never did get why you wouldn’t take it from him—and go after Terry for it—in the first place. You’re entitled to the support, and so are the kids.”

“I know that. But I’m getting by.” And she
was
. Yes, she sometimes worried about making ends meet, but by the end of the month, she succeeded in paying her bills. If she hadn’t been hit by the flu, she would have managed this month, too.

“It’s their daddies’ obligations to take care of them,” Cole insisted. “You wouldn’t have wanted me not to do my best for Tina and Robbie if things didn’t work out with us, would you?”

“No, of course not. But you’re different, Cole. You’re such a great husband and daddy, a wonderful man, in spite of everything you had thrown at you when we were growing up. You would never have walked away...”

“The way Jason did.”

She nodded.

He swore under his breath. “You know my feelings on that. I can’t tell you enough times, if I’d’ve known how things would work out with you two, I’d never have signed the okay for you to get married.”

“It wasn’t your fault. And I can’t even blame everything on Jason. Maybe we just weren’t meant to be.” That was only one of the worries she had tried to block out of her mind as she tossed and turned half the night.

She was falling for Jason again, with no guarantee that, even if they did renew their relationship, it wouldn’t end the same way it had the first time. “But what if
none
of it was Jason’s fault? What if it was all mine, and I drove him away in the first place?”

“Is that the bull he’s been feeding you?”

“No. It’s what I’m feeling. Not one but two marriages down the drain. What does that say? Obviously, that I’m not cut out for wedded bliss. Maybe I’m not cut out for any kind of relationship at all. I think about Mom and especially about Dad and all the things he used to say and—”

“Stop right there. You can’t waste time worrying about those things.”

“I didn’t before, but after Jason, and then Terry... I think about those things now. And maybe I even believe them. I’ve never had a relationship work out—”

“That’s not all on you. And this isn’t just about making a marriage work, is it?” He took her hand. “You would never tell Scott or Jill they weren’t worth loving, would you?”

Just the thought made tears spring to her eyes. “Of course not.”

“Well, then, you can’t believe that about yourself. You know I love Robbie more than anything, and I feel the same about the baby we’re having, sight unseen. Unconditionally. No strings attached. Just the way you feel about Scott and Jill. And that’s the way you need to feel about yourself.”

She wanted to believe him, but there were too many memories to fight.

As if he understood, he squeezed her hand. “Layne, you need to forget the past. Stop worrying about what happened before and focus on what’s ahead.”

She wanted to believe him about that, too. But at this point, she couldn’t imagine what her future might hold. Except for supper Sunday night at the Hitching Post.

Visiting Garland Ranch would give her something to distract her from her thoughts. And, thank heaven, it would finally give her what she desperately needed—a break from Jason.

If he hadn’t already left Cowboy Creek by then.

* * *

L
AYNE
REACHED
FOR
the drying towel and took a plate from the rack. After dinner, Jason had insisted it was his turn to wash dishes.

“Most of the hands in the bunkhouse hate cleaning up after meals,” he said, hanging the dishcloth on its hook. “I always like when it’s my turn to wash, because when you’re done, you’re done.”

“Lucky you.”

He grinned. “Well, next time we’ll draw straws. How about that? Because I
am
done here.” He looked over at her son, who sat at the table, coloring. “So, c’mon, Scott, let’s go. I’ve got a surprise for you.”

Her son slid from his chair. “Yes-s-s.
Es-s-s
,” he chanted. “Surprise for Scott—
surprise!
”

Jason laughed, and they left the room together.

With the kitchen so small, she didn’t have to move more than a half step from the counter to see directly into the living room. She didn’t know where Jason had gone that afternoon, but he had come home with a small plastic sack he’d left on the end table near his chair. He grabbed it now and rummaged inside, then pulled something from it.

“Coloring books!” Scott exclaimed. “C’mon. Let’s color.”

She smiled and stood for a moment, watching them.

As she dried the rest of the dishes and put them away, she occasionally peeked through the doorway. Jason sat on the floor with Scott on his knees beside him. They both leaned over the coffee table, working together.

She hung her drying cloth on its hook. Pausing, she looked at the dishcloth hanging beside it and thought about what Jason had said.

Next time we’ll draw straws.

As if there
would
be a next time. As if they had a chance. As if he had plans to stay. Or did he mean to drop in only occasionally, when Scott would have to get to know him all over again and then have to live through losing him one more time? Would she have to face that heartbreak again, too?

Swallowing a sigh, she straightened her spine. She was the mom here, and she had to protect her kids.

When she entered the living room, Scott immediately looked up and held out his crayon. “Color, Mommy.”

She nodded. “Okay. I’ll take this book.” She went to reach for a second coloring book.

He shook his head. “No, Mommy help.
Please.
” He smacked his hand flat on the page he’d been working on. The page opposite the one Jason sat coloring.

Even if she could have thought of a reason to say no to Scott, she knew she wouldn’t have turned him down. Such a simple request. What could it hurt—even if it meant sitting elbow-to-elbow to share a coloring book with Jason. She took the crayon and settled on the floor beside him.

“He’s very enthusiastic about coloring,” he said mildly.

She couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s an understatement.” She held up the crayon Scott had given her. It was still large enough for his small hand, but so worn down there almost wasn’t enough left for her to grip.

“Ah,” Jason said. “Well, I think I can take care of that. I brought a surprise for you, too.”

“Surprise for
Mommy
?” Scott asked in amazement.

“Yep.” He reached into the plastic sack and pulled out a fresh box of crayons. “Maybe she’ll let you use them, too, Scott.”

She laughed. “Of course, I will.”

“Surprise for
Jill
?” Scott asked expectantly.

“Oh, honey,” she rushed in, wanting to save Scott from disappointment. And, strangely,
not
wanting to see Jason’s discomfort because he had thought only of her son and not her daughter. “The coloring books and crayons—”

“—are for Mommy and Scott,” Jason finished. “And of course there’s a surprise for Jill.” He reached into the sack again, this time pulling out a small, plastic-wrapped teething ring.

She stared down at the picture Scott had been “coloring” until the bright scrawls of color seemed to melt and run before her eyes. Blinking to clear her vision, she picked up a worn crayon. She couldn’t risk a glance at Jason at that moment. Instead, she looked at the package he still held, the gift he’d bought for a little girl who wasn’t his.