Crash Gordon and the Mysteries of Kingsburg (88 page)
Read Crash Gordon and the Mysteries of Kingsburg Online
Authors: Derek Swannson
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Genre Fiction, #Horror, #Occult, #Mystery; Thriller & Suspense, #Thrillers, #Psychological Thrillers, #Psychological
(G.D.: “I used to regret what I’d done to you as the Easter Bunny, but no more.”)
Gordon’s daimon was joking, of course. Daimons don’t give a shit about anything they do to their human charges, so long as it helps their souls make progress.
Diving back into the information currents, the next mystery that Gordon tried to solve was what had happened to him on his Easter morning alien abduction aboard the low-rent flying saucer. But he found he couldn’t go there.
(G.T.S.: “You’re allowed to see that information only if you choose to die.”)
(G.: “Why? What’s the big deal? I’ve already lived through it once.”)
(G.D.: “Yes, but you don’t fully recall all that was done to you then. If you go back to life, you’ll fight to find out what happened. And when you find out, you’ll fight to prevent it from happening to anyone else. We’ll support you in that fight, but you might not have the courage for it if you know everything that it involves.”)
(G.: “Can’t you guys just clue me in now, then wipe out all my memories later–kind of like when I was born?”)
(G.D.: “Even here, such knowledge could change things. It might unfairly impact your decision to live or die.”)
(G.: “So you plan to just keep me in the dark?”)
(G.T.S.: “About that, yes. It’s Divine Will. But we can show you other aspects of your future.”)
(G.D.: “You’re in for some happiness, believe it or not.”)
Gordon watched as the light in front of him filled with the radiant face of a smart and elegant blonde woman with sad blue eyes who would become his future wife and cause him a lot of soul-forging trouble. He saw two beautiful laughing Chinese girls who would become his future daughters and teach him what it was like to know unconditional love. Then he saw himself moving into a penthouse apartment on Central Park West just before he and his future wife became engaged. As they were unpacking boxes in the kitchen, she held up a ceramic bunny head by its stiff white ears, saying, “This is one of my favorite things. Won’t it look good hanging over by the refrigerator?” He expressed his reservations by joking: “I kind of have a thing about rabbits… I had a bad experience with the Easter Bunny when I was a kid. Could we please not put that up?” His future wife leaned over and kissed him on the forehead.
“Fuck off…” she said sweetly, “bunnies are nice.”
And then Gordon was right back staring at the bloody heap of himself crumpled on the floorboards of Lloyd’s Bentley, a disheveled wreath of seaweed in his hair and pinkish streams of saltwater bubbling from his nose. He had a choice to make.
Soon.
There was a sound like a birthday gift being unwrapped.
He chose to live.
A
CKNOWLEDGMENTS
I’m very grateful to Lydia Salant, the only person who read this manuscript prior to its publication. Over the course of several years, Lydia’s editorial suggestions–along with her deep knowledge of Russian literature and all things Jungian–helped shape
Crash Gordon and the Mysteries of Kingsburg
into a much better book than it would have been without her.
The latter part of this book could not have been written without inspiration from the many unflinching chroniclers of deep politics and high weirdness who’ve shared their findings in books and on the Internet–especially Jim Marrs, Ingo Swann, James Wasserman, David Icke, Laura Knight-Jadczyk, Peter Levenda, Daniel Pinchbeck, Patrick Harpur, Michael Talbot, Paul H. Smith, Lynn Picknett, Clive Prince, William Bramley, David McGowan, Tim Boucher, Grant Morrison, Jeremy Narby, Richard M. Dolan, Steven M. Greer, the late Jim Keith, and perhaps most significantly, Jeff Wells, author of the book and blog,
Rigorous Intuition
. Now that I’ve read their words, I’ll never be able to go back to Kingsburg (my analogue for Kansas), but Kingsburg kind of blew, anyway… so thanks, one and all.
A
LSO
B
Y
C
RASH
G
ORDON AND
D
EREK
S
WANNSON
New York
C
RASH
G
ORDON
Crash Gordon delivers this unprecedented and extraordinary Zen kōan-like novel with a voice as confident and alluring as the ancient Greek philosophers, but with much more humor.
D
EREK
S
WANNSON
Crash Gordon and the Revelations from Big Sur
Crash Gordon and the Revelations from Big Sur
is the big, shaggy conspiracy novel that everyone has always wanted to read–without actutally knowing it. There’s a reason for that.
They
don’t want you to know about it.
You do know there’s a
They
, don’t you?
1
Here’s what he’ll find: Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President 100 years later, in 1960. They were the only two Presidents to print and issue U.S. government currency, in defiance of international bankers and the Federal Reserve. Both were shot in the head on a Friday, while sitting next to their wives. Kennedy was traveling in a Ford Lincoln and Lincoln was shot in Ford’s Theatre. Southerners assassinated both Presidents and Southerners also succeeded them. Both successors were named Johnson. Andrew Johnson was born in 1808 and Lyndon Johnson was born 100 years later, in 1908. Both assassins were known by their three names and each full name had fifteen letters. John Wilkes Booth ran from the theater and was captured in a warehouse, while Lee Harvey Oswald ran from the warehouse and was captured in a theater. And in the end, both assassins were assassinated before their trials.
2
Hubbard also claimed that in past lives he’d been an intergalactic walrus, a jilted lover to an alluring red-haired robot, a victim of defenestration from a flying saucer, and “a very happy being who strayed to the planet Nostra 23,064,000,000 years ago.”
3
In a weird bit of synchronicity that Hal and Ingo likely would’ve been aware of, L. Ron Hubbard had repeatedly warned against Targs in a taped lecture from 1952 for sale at the Church of Scientology under the title: “Electropsychometric Scouting: Battle of the Universes.” That same lecture encapsulated much of the material later taught to the initiates of OT Level III. In it, Hubbard described Earth as a prison planet ruled by evil “entheta beings”–or
Targs
–who dumped their enemies here in exile. He claimed that 75 million years ago the twisted Galactic Confederacy warlord, Xenu, along with a team of silver-booted psychiatrists, had drugged all of the Earth’s prisoners into insensibility during a tax inspection ruse, then had them frozen like fish sticks and blown up by H-bombs hurled into active volcanoes. Their blown-up souls supposedly stick to present-day earthlings like etheric mucus. According to Hubbard’s lurid sci-fi version of Gnosticism, Targs had created Christianity as a method of mind control for the masses. As a sort of added bonus, Christianity’s perceived enemy, godless Communism, had been “their great success.” Hubbard could also be heard on the tape yipping that “anybody who thinks in this society is immediately attacked; you’re surrounded by Targs!” But by almost all accounts, Dr. Targ was a sweetheart of a guy….