Crave All Lose All

Table of Contents

 

 

 

 

 

I’d like to thank those who stood by me tall and strong over the years. Some from way back in the days and some of the new faces. I will never forget y’all. These are the people that pulled me up when I was down and made me smile when I wanted to frown. First, I got to thank God for everything. I know He’s there, always watching, always listening and speaking to me when at times I just want to shut everything and everyone out.

As some know, I recently lost a few family members within the year, my younger cousin Pashad Gray, My Uncle Carl, Aunt Hanna, and another brother, Vincent E. Gray. You was coming home to us in August, but the day before your release, God took you to be home with Him. And I want to thank those that showed my family love, support and condolences through these trying times.

I also give thanks once again to my parents, Alinda Gray and Spencer Gray, for always being there for me, and the love they keep giving me. My sisters Tanya and Terry, my brother Pat for the strong siblings that they are—together, we will always remain strong. And Jean Gray, you suffered such a lost, but remember you are not alone—family will always be by your side during these troubling times.

K’ wan, my brother from another mother, thanks for your support and love. You are my dawg for life, we gonna continue to grind and show this industry that we are nothing to play with. I lost three brothers over the years, but with you, Treasure, Mark Anthony, Anthony Whyte, Jay, and a few others y’all are my brothers for life. I lost three, but gain many. I wanted to let y’all know, that y’all are never forgotten and will never be taken for granted. Thanks.

Nakea, I always look forward your your guidance, thoughts, and inspiration. You know this business like O.J knows white girls. We all came a long way, and we been by each other side since back in the day, from doin’ the wop at parties, but I’m comin’ for your title, lol. But I don’t know if you hear this much, thank you for everything.

Lady Scorpio, aka Kim, you are a true friend and very supportive of a brother. Thanks for your constant love and for constantly shouting me out
on C2C. You are one in a few that don’t forget about a brother online, where I be feeling so underrated in this game, you keep putting moving words in my ear and you always got time to check out my stories. That’s why you’re one of a few that will always get first shot at my books. I’m gonna stay showin’ you love.

And I gotta show love to Tasha Herman, Linda Williams, Norma, Anna J and Azarel, the lovely ladies that are doing so many wonderful things, who keep enriching the lives of so many with their talents and trades.

Also to my cousin Petey, representing the south, keep doin’ your thang down there cuz. You came a long way, and believe me, your story is comin’ soon.

To my dude Kay, and his brother Jock, y’all keep your head up, and the two of you will never be forgetting. When y’all get home, we gonna do it up, believe me, good things are definitely coming y’all way. Much love to y’all.

And to my boo, Sequoia Hughes, you know I couldn’t forget you. You are a beautiful and charismatic woman. I’m glad to have you in my life. You know I miss you, and believe me, things will fall into place for you really soon.

And the most important of all, my friends, my readers, and my fans who continue to support me and have supported me throughout the years, and a shout out to Tweety and Rah, for always showing me support and putting me in her collection. And to my dude, Hasheem, keep doing your thang.

But to everyone else, life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. Love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don’t. And believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it, if it changes your life, let it.

Nobody said it would be easy, they just promised that it would be worth it.

Get at me via
Myspace.com/ericksgray
or email me at [email protected] 3

 

 

 

Today I live, even though I found out that I will soon die, diagnosed with a touch of negativity in my system—soon my life flashes before my eyes. I wanna grip the stale air I inhale, exhale creativity and belief, pour out prosperity and richness through my daily deeds. Today I breathe, even though life is putting me in a choke hold, trying to detain my existence, execute my death mentally and physically, causing my mind to seize and doubt any good will come. My world shakes like an earthquake. My spirit darkened, like a moonless night over the sea—living with so much hardship, spreading like the vast deep-sea. I wanna breathe again. I wanna fly but feel rooted to the truth of reality. I wanna soar, see my dreams beneath me and dive into them with full force. Saturate the pessimistic thought with inspiration and dedication, overcome destitution with optimism. The spirit and faith that will surge throughout every negative and damaging point. Make all of me healthy and strong. Please make me loving and more understanding God. I wanna overwhelm myself with the thought of success and triumph over the adversity that forever would love to see me on bending knees, have me hateful to my
own needs. I refuse to relinquish the thought of determination and might. Taking it one day at a time, being the best man I can.

 

Today, I want my intelligence to brighten and enlighten others, dispense knowledge to my brothers. I need for my people to understand, that what we truly own, is what we know, having an education is endless—a strong thought can’t never be corrupt. A loving heart will never be distraught. And the mind is power and gold. I wanna drench my mind with limitless information, and then burst into my community with a rainfall of information. I wanna starve doubt, hate, jealousy and greed, plagues of this generation. Nourishing certainty, self-worth and self-confidence, spread education about our people’s culture like everyday is Black History month. I want us to believe that we are truly rich in life and that all you need is the will, the spirit and the knowledge to thoroughly strive in life. I want us to grow, soar into unity—and be on one accord, fighting lies that’s been told to our people, the things that separate us and contest the world that tries to lesser our race.

 

Today, I wanna reverse the Willie Lynch theory and unite the old with the young—bring together the old black pro for the young black male and the young black male pro for the old black male. We must benefit from the dark skin man, with the light skin man, and the light skin man with the dark skin man, understand that it is not the color or shade, but that we are still one man under God. We should trust and depend on the character of that man. And when we all are under that one accord of having attained the spirit, the determination, the integrity, the knowledge, understanding our history of where we been and where we want to go, and then wanting better for not only our race, but as humanity all together—it is then, that we are truly free.

Every man has by law of nature a right to such a waste portion of the earth as is necessary for his subsistence.

Sir Thomas Moore, Utopia II

 

7:00 am
on the dot Vincent’s alarm went off causing him to rouse and interrupt the wonderful dream he was having of Janet. Ms. Jackson, if you nasty. They were both naked on a sunny warm beach somewhere in the Caribbean. He was dreaming that he was about to tap that pussy then he heard Method Man’s rhymes coming through.

It was accompanied by the soothing voice of Mary J Blige. Vincent cursed,