cravingpenelope (4 page)

Penelope did not understand what he was getting at. How could she have bewitched him? He was the man who appeared in her dreams, giving her pleasure beyond her wildest imagination and never letting up until her body slipped back to consciousness. So many times she assumed she was going crazy, but he was real, and now he was right before her. Razziel was accusing her of putting a spell on him. She touched his chest, and he gazed at her.

“I don’t have the power to put a spell on you.” Penelope thought back to what she had seen in the shower, the outline of his wings. How her attacker said he had gotten blown off track. How he could cleanse the blood away. “You’re an angel.”

“Yes. I’m an angel. Mostly I watch humans. It’s part of my assignment to learn more about them.”

“So you slipped into my dreams to learn more about me and decided to have sex with me?”

He ran his fingers over the wrinkles in her sheet. She noticed his nails were perfectly rounded and glistened in the little bit of light in the room. He had no marks or freckles on his skin and no hair on his body. His nipples were rose pink and puckered from the chill in the air. His dick was semi-erect and still waited to be used, but the oddest thing about him was that Razziel had no navel.

“It wasn’t supposed to be that way. You were like the rest. I observed your daily life, but something else about you intrigued me. At first I watched your dreams. We’re not supposed to interfere. Not supposed to let humans know who we are; that was why I could never show myself to you. But something happened, and I wanted to know how you felt and why you were always so sad. Then we made love and it was wonderful, but I wanted more and more. Now I fear I’m going to be expelled from Heaven because of this.”

She felt the blood drain from her face. Knowing that an angel who had been watching over her was going to be expelled from paradise because he had chosen to visit her on Earth saddened her. “You can’t stay, then. You need to go back so you won’t get in trouble. I don’t want to be the cause of you being exiled.”

“I can’t. I was told I had to walk my path so I could understand my destiny. I don’t know if my road is done, and I haven’t figured out the answer to why I really came here.”

“Why did you come here?”

“I needed to know why you make me feel.”

“Make you feel? Don’t angels have emotions?”

“Can’t you tell? You’re an empath. From all the times I spent watching you, I sensed all your emotions and how you have such an arduous time with people. You erect a wall so you don’t feel their emotions. Feelings are something beyond me. I’ve never undergone the gambit of what I’ve been feeling when I’m with you. They can’t stop. This wanting I have for you. It’s a lust that I need to take you right now, to be deep inside of you. I can barely contain myself so that I don’t hurt you. I know it’s wrong to feel this way. If I act upon them, these dark impulses will surely throw me from Heaven. Can’t you tell how I’m feeling now?”

Penelope shook her head. “No.”

“How is that possible? You must be able to experience what I am feeling. This is all because of you.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her closer. She let out a small cry from the pain shooting up her arm. She bit her lip and saw the crazed look in his eye. “You have to know it.” Razziel squeezed her wrist.

“Stop.”
Tears came to her eyes from the force of his grip.

“Why? You were the one who drew me down here. You were the one who lured me from Heaven. Now I have these feelings when I didn’t before.” The tendons stood out in his neck, and his face had turned a dark red from his anger.

“You’re hurting me.” A tear tumbled down her cheek. “I thought you weren’t like that thing you destroyed.” Penelope tried to slip out of his clutches, but he held her fast. The fear she originally had for him returned, and she did not know what she would do. She had to get away from him. Their union in the shower slipped from her mind and was replaced by terror.

* * * *

Razziel
stared at Penelope. The rage he felt mixed with confusion and his lust for her. It was a ball of emotions he did not know how to unravel, and she was the only one who could untangle it for him. And now she was telling him she could not feel what he was. It only aggravated him more. The quick encounter they had together made his heart quicken, but seeing her shirking from him, he realized he had gone too far. Razziel looked at his hand and saw it was clasped around her hand, and he was squeezing it hard. All he desired were answers and why he was feeling. Angels did not have emotions, at least not human ones. Love, he was full of it, but desire, lust, rage, these were all foreign to him. And it burned him up. Surely, she was the key.

Now Penelope was saying she had no idea. As the tear fell down her cheek and fear radiated from her, he understood he had overstepped his bounds. He released her wrist and touched her cheek, brushing the glistening drop away. It transfixed him. Razziel had never witnessed a real human tear before. It appeared to be a diamond about to be crushed, a star gleaming in the light shed to fall from the sky. Either one of those was a travesty. Staring at it, the folly of his actions hit him. The last thing he had ever wanted to do was hurt her.

“Forgive me!” He wrenched his hand away from her as though he had been struck with a bolt of lightning. Hurting this woman would mark him for the Fallen because he had gone against everything he stood for. He scuttled from the bed and hit the floor. The shadows seemed to be closing in around him. The weight of the world pressed upon him. The room was too small to contain his wings. He had to repent for what he had done. How would Penelope ever look at him the same way again? Razziel hit the wall and slid down. What would Lemiel say if he saw this? What would the other angels say? The weight on his shoulders already confirmed that he was sinking lower. He wondered when his wings would fall off. He slid down and dropped to his knees, curling up into a ball. The sorrow and the depth of his sinking to the lower realms were heaped on his shoulders.

“Hey.” Penelope’s sweet voice came to him through the ditch he had dug himself into. It was not fair for him to look upon her beauty. He had defiled her, hurting her, as she fell victim to the dark compulsions he had given himself over to. Razziel could not look upon her. Everything he had done. The ecstasy of being inside of her was something he would cherish for an eternity. But she was better off without him. No human could ever get involved with a Fallen; it would only damn her soul, and he could not do that to her.

“Go away! It was a mistake coming here. I will not damn you any further,” he said through his hands.

She tried to free his hands from his face. “Razziel, look at me. Please!” Penelope pulled one hand from his face and brought it to her lips, kissing his palm. Those supple lips and touch made him look up. Penelope’s eyes were filled with concern and longing.

“All I can do is bring you pain. I hurt you. Forgive me.”

She slid her fingers through his hair. He sucked in a breath, hardly believing that she was showing him kindness. The dark pit was filling with light, and she was that salvation. Penelope was his angel to rescue him, but he never thought he would need rescuing. All his existence he had been the one watching out for humans and the first time he had gotten involved with one, he had screwed it up. He realized that. Razziel had to pay for the insolence he had shown. But it was difficult to resist her subtle caress. He gazed into her eyes and saw such forgiveness it seemed he was staring into the face of the holy one, and he forgot everything.

“I’m fine. It’s fine.” She took his other hand and held it over her heart. With her free hand, she placed it over his heart and closed her eyes.

“What are you doing?” he whispered.

“Shh…let me in.”

“How?
Why?”

Penelope opened her eyes and stared at him. “You asked me to trust you. Now trust me.”

“How can you trust me when I’ve hurt you?” Razziel asked.

“Because I know you would never
truly
hurt me. What just happened doesn’t matter.
Razziel,
let me in.” Penelope kissed his lips lightly.

A sense of peace washed over him when he gave in to the kiss. She had forgiven him. She wanted to know him more. Penelope was not pushing him away. She was not damning him. “Angels are never supposed to feel carnal love. All of these emotions are ravaging my heart. I don’t understand them.” His wings pressed against the wall. One thing he was never supposed to do was reveal himself to a human. She had already given him consent to lay with her and share physical space. He did not have to hide his nature anymore. With that knowledge, he opened himself up, letting all the powers of his station and who he was manifest.

Penelope sucked in a breath. When his gaze went to her face instead of the horror he expected to find, all he saw was acceptance. Her grip tightened on his fingers, and tears rimmed her eyes. Razziel felt her heart racing and the blood warming in her body. His power raged through her, and it had to run its course. The golden glow touched her flesh and bathed her in warm light. Time froze around them. He waited to see if her heart would stop beating or explode from the radiance of being exposed to his mighty power. Those tears trailed down her cheeks and shimmered in the light. The storm raged outside, yet he wondered if it would break out in the house as well.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

She nodded.

“You see me now, yes?”

Still Penelope remained silent. Razziel was not sure how to take her silence. So far she had not been struck down by Heaven, and her heart had not died in her chest. That gave him some hope.

“You asked me to let you in. Now you know.” When he moved, he stretched his wings and curled the ends of them around her. She released his hand and touched his wing.

“Amazing.”
Her fingers trailed over the edges of his feathers. The caress radiated along his wings and down his spine, going straight to his prick and hardening it.

“My wings?”

“No,” Penelope answered softly.

“Then what?”

“So much love. I can feel what you feel. Your emotions are bright and warm. You care about me. Your love is pure, nothing like human emotions. I can’t describe it.”

“Even the bad.”

She sniffled. “The darkness is mostly confusion. It doesn’t matter. You’re not evil. You’re too good to be evil.”

“But I lusted after you. I came here only to covet you and figure out why you made me feel this way.”

“You saved me. That’s all that mattered.”

“But….”

She shook her head. “There is no but. You already know the answer to why you really came here.”

“Why is that?”

Penelope didn’t answer him except to lean in and place her lips upon his. Razziel returned the kiss and it was slow, full of wanting, but he realized it was not his wanting. Penelope was the one who needed to be sated. Now that all of his walls had come down, he could read her in a way he could not before. She thought she would never find anyone to be with and die alone.

When he entered her dreams, he brought her the joy he thought she needed, but it was so much more than that.
Razziel
saw now that Penelope was more complex and needed someone with her to feel whole. She had been hiding from the world because she felt its horrors. Her empathy hindered her.

At this moment in time, he understood that this was not about him. It was all about Penelope and what she deserved. And she deserved to be pleasured and given more satisfaction than any other human being because she had opened his eyes to the way things really were. She was all that mattered. If something or someone else was going to come after her, he would make sure that nothing would get past him. Penelope pulled away, and he sensed the sadness that had fallen across her soul. Now that she was open to him, he was also open to all of her emotions.

“What is it?”

“You don’t want me now.”

He saw the tiny shivers running through her skin. Penelope began to cover her beautiful body. He caught her wrist, lightly this time, and pulled her up against him when he stood up. Razziel wrapped her in his wings to keep her warm and pressed her hand to his chest. “Of course I want you. You’ve opened my eyes to things I didn’t see before. I swear to you I won’t let anything hurt you. And now I can truly show you the passion and the depths of your soul that we both know you’re hiding from.”

Razziel
claimed her lips, and this time he knew he was not going to let her go until she was completely and utterly his. He might have put his mark upon her in Penelope’s dreams, but he was going to brand her so that no one else would ever try and take her again. She was his, and he was just beginning to realize what that truly meant.

Chapter Five

Penelope could barely believe that she was in the arms of an angel, a naked angel at that. His wings were amazing, a mixture of blue with a few gold feathers scattered about. They glistened in the light, dancing jewels that appeared to be carved from the twilight blue they resembled. When she touched them, they were softer than any bird feather. There was magic and power in his very being. It emanated from him in a golden glow that she could barely take her eyes from. Razziel took her hand and held it over his heart. When she touched his flesh, his emotions flowed through her mind like a gentle breeze filling her with such love and purity that all her worries floated away. It was tough to deny the wonderment and the innocence lingering in his soul, but there was also the darkness of other emotions brewing into a tornado. Penelope could barely make sense of all of them. When she tried to sort them out, it made them coalesce into a twirling tumult dancing away from her. She realized Razziel did not know how to handle them, and that was what was driving them. He had not meant to hurt her. As he held her, something changed. The tempest remained, but he had it contained.

As he kissed her, Penelope nearly lost control. This was the kiss of the man she knew from her dreams. It was unrestrained and tender at the same time. Each time he kissed her, Razziel drew in her bottom lip, nibbling at it before flicking his tongue over it. She could barely keep up with the kiss. His fingers held her chin gently. Razziel trailed his hands over her neck and stopped at her collarbone. A moan slipped from her mouth, and he broke the kiss.

“I want you, Penelope. I don’t think I’ve ever realized how much. My dream visitations were so one-sided that I never understood they were for my own benefit. Now I do, and I promise that I shall worship you from now on. Even earlier when you were in the shower, it was all about satisfying my desires.”

“Really?
Because it didn’t feel that way.”

He brushed the hair from her face. “Yes. But now I want to know what you yearn for.”

She sighed and studied him. Here was a magnificent specimen of a man, of an angel, and he was asking her what she most desired. No one had ever asked her that before. No one had ever cared enough to truly figure out what she had wanted. Never before had she opened herself up to a partner. Now her walls were completely down, and her mind was not troubled with swirling emotions that had no purpose the way some people’s feelings were. Instead, Razziel’s were tranquil. It was nice to feel such calm. If she could drink it in for good, she would. But she wanted to taste him and have her way with him too.

“You.
In all these dreams, you’ve never shown me your face. Here you are now, completely unmasked, and I’ve never had the chance to truly be
with
you. Let me have that.
At least for tonight.”

“Then tonight you will have your wish.” Razziel trailed his finger between her breasts and over her heart. The small gesture made her shiver from the gentle touch. She took his finger, brought it to her lips, and flicked her tongue over the tip of it before sucking it between her lips. She got to taste his flesh, and it had the tang of vanilla. When she glanced at him, Razziel seemed visibly shaken. Penelope smiled, removed his finger, and touched her lips to his chest, right above his heart. She trailed her tongue over his silky flesh until she came to his already pert nipple and sucked it between her teeth, feeling the contours of the puckered skin and nibbling on it. He took in a quick breath when she bit down on it harder. Penelope felt a shudder and heard the slight quivering of his feathers. It seemed they were almost metallic after all, but she was not sure. When she let her angel go, she worked her way to his other nipple. His fingers slipped into her hair. She glanced up at him.

“Is this not pleasing you?” she asked.

“No, it does, but I want to be sure you’re satisfied.”

She smiled. “I am. Can’t you tell? I can feel your emotions now, and they’re wonderful. Can’t you sense mine too?”

He nodded. “I do and you seem content, but I wanted to be sure.”

“Then let me continue.”

She moved lower over his torso, tasting more of his flesh, working over the indentations of his abs until she came to the place where his navel should have been and swirled her tongue over it, going to her knees before him. Penelope glanced up and saw the rapturous look on his face. When she slipped her lips over his cock, the vanilla tang she had from him was added with a little bit of spice that reminded her of cinnamon. His flesh was even silkier. When she slipped her hand underneath and gripped his balls, he moaned and plunged his hips forward. Penelope drew in his prick, taking what she could of him into her mouth. Penelope wrapped her tongue around his length and sucked on him. Razziel bucked his hips forward. She grazed her teeth along his shaft until she was taking him in faster and faster and he hit the back of her throat. Penelope tried not to gag. She could feel his emotions ramping up, the enjoyment running through him. It exploded into her mind like rainbows or a symphony of colors that popped. Everything he could feel affected her too. It was hard to stay focused on pleasuring him when she was also quaking. It took her a few moments to regain her composure. She rolled his balls in one hand and gripped his hips with the other as he began plunging into her. Penelope tried to keep her teeth from pressing into his skin and when she tasted a small bit of salt on her tongue, she knew he was ready.

“Stop!”
She heard the plea in his voice.

Penelope glanced and flicked her tongue over his spongy head one last time. “Why?”

His hands were clenched into fists, and beads of sweat formed on his forehead. “I don’t…I need to be inside of you. I need to fuck you.”

“Lay down, then. You might want to put your wings away, though.”

Razziel walked to the bed and slid down. When his back hit the mattress, his wings instantly disappeared. She strolled over to him, feeling his anticipation bunching her muscles and the passion that had his heart pounding in his chest. She slid onto the bed, pushing his legs apart, kissing along his inner thigh, nibbling on his flesh, until Penelope straddled him. She took one of his hands and placed it on her breast and put the other one on her hips. From there, she moved his cock deep inside of her pussy, gripping him until she began to move on top of him.

Penelope watched his eyes widen and then flutter shut. He gripped her breast and thumbed her nipple, sending ripples of ecstasy shooting through her. Razziel took in a deep breath, but she could already feel his muscles quivering. He was so close to coming. His fingers dug into her skin while he tried to set the tempo between them, but they were out of sync.

“Stop trying so much. Go with me,” she instructed.

Her angelic lover nodded and drove inside of her. Penelope threw back her head when his prick found her clit. Tiny stars appeared in her vision, and warmth also shot through her. He moved his hand from her breast, gripped both of her hips, and pumped into her faster.

“That’s it. I need you, Penny,” he cried out.

No one called her Penny, and she loved the way it rolled off his tongue. Each time he dived into her, it brought her to new pinnacles of desire. She never thought she would be making love to an angel. Nor that the pleasure would be so wonderful. Razziel touched all of her emotions. Having all of her walls down was nothing she had been able to do with another person. All she felt was pleasure so profound that when he drove into her, bursts of color washed through her mind. It lit up each point of her body. She leaned over him and pressed her lips to his, plunging her tongue into his mouth. Razziel returned the kiss with fervor and touched her tongue with his, moving his around it until they danced. His teeth scraped over it and then he broke the kiss. From there she found her world had shifted, and he was now on top of her. A pleased smile adorned her angel’s features. But it was soon replaced by a look of ecstasy when his brow scrunched together and he moved into her one last time. At that moment, the colors she had been seeing disintegrated into a magnificent rainbow and she was transported to another world. The heat of the orgasm burned along her nerves. The bliss slid through her, and she felt her release. Razziel held her to him and the hardness of her body kept her anchored in her flesh, but in the way that it left her satisfied. By the way he pumped into her a few more times, she knew everything was right in the world.

Penelope opened her eyes and saw that she was enfolded within Razziel’s wings. She had never felt so protected or so loved. When she gazed into his eyes, all she saw was love and nothing else. It also radiated out from his being and penetrated her soul. He trailed his finger down her cheek and had a satisfied smile on his face.

“That was amazing.”

“You’re amazing, Penelope. I never thought I’d feel something as fulfilling as this. It makes me never want to leave you again.”

She pushed a strand of hair out of his face. “I-I would want that too, but I know that can never happen.”

Razziel shook his head. “I won’t let anything happen to you. I swear it.”

“I don’t want you to get in trouble or pulled from Heaven.”

He moved his wing and brushed the end of it over her heart. A little bit of a burn ran through her. She bit her lip and cried out. “I mark you my own. No matter what consequences it brings to me, I can handle it. You are mine.” He took her hand and kissed her palm before placing it over his heart. “Anyone who ever sees you will know you’re mine. I’ve marked your soul.”

“So what happens now?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never had this happen to me before. It’s all new to me.”

Penelope snuggled into his arms as they lay on the bed together. Listening to his heart, she drifted off to sleep without a care in the world. She felt safe, and nothing bad could happen to her because she was in his arms.

* * * *

Razziel
listened to Penelope’s heart beating steadily. It was the most perfect thing he had ever heard. In all of creation, he had never heard anything quite like it. He understood now what he was meant to do. Joe had told him to walk his destiny, and he would figure out his path. His road was to be with Penelope. The mark he had placed upon her soul burned brighter than any star he had ever seen. The emotions he had before, all the tumultuous storm of feelings had condensed into something he finally got a handle on. It was not a bad thing to feel. It was a remarkable thing, and he would never take it for granted. He trailed his fingers down the curve of her face and wondered who would ever want to hurt her. Then he remembered the daemon that had tried to snatch her earlier that evening. Since he had defeated this one another was going to be sent in his place. If that happened, he would be there to protect her. He would never let anyone hurt her again.

“Wow. Look at you.”

Razziel
turned his head to the familiar voice and saw Lemiel standing at the end of the bed watching the two of them. The other angel was going to say something else when Razziel put his finger to his lips to keep him from waking Penelope. Slowly, he unwound her from him and slipped the sheet over her.

“What do you want, Lemiel?”

“I was sent to bring you back, but they didn’t tell me you were involved with a human. Oh man, are you in trouble. Why would you want to lie with one of them? Going at it in their dreams is one thing, but actually in the flesh?”

A surge of anger ran through him, but this time he understood what the feeling was. He gritted his teeth and forced the rage away because he knew his friend did not understand. How could
Lemiel
, when he had never lain with a human woman? Lemiel walked around the bed and peered down at Penelope. He was about to touch her when Razziel grabbed his hand.

“Don’t.”

“All right.
I wasn’t going to hurt her. I just wanted to see what you find so special about this one.”

“She’s amazing, and she’s mine.”

Lemiel
flashed him a smile, and his eyebrow lifted. “I can see where you think that. Come on, we have to get going.”

He shook his head. “I’m not going to leave her.”

“You don’t have a choice. I don’t know what they want you for, but I’d say you better come with me before you get into any more trouble.”

This was what he had feared. For walking the path he had chosen, he was going to now be expelled from Heaven. What would become of him now? What could become of Penelope now that he had found her if he was cast out? There was no way he could leave her and have another daemon take her. She would be put in danger, or would his mark put her in even greater danger? If he resisted it would be worse, and he did not want to make it worse for Penelope. He leaned over and brushed his lips across her forehead, hating that he had to go back with Lemiel, but it was also the only thing he could do. He willed himself to be clothed once more and stretched his wings. He plucked a feather from one and laid it next to her head. If he did not come back, then at least she would have something to remember him by and hopefully, if possible, she could use it to protect herself.

“Fine.”

The other angel smiled, and with a quick silver flash he winked out. Razziel followed. When he appeared, they were back in Heaven. The landscape had not changed. It was one magnificent garden, and the viewing pool was before him. Gazing at paradise, he noticed something different about it. Everything had always seemed to sparkle before, and now it was all lackluster.
The glean
had come off. He was not sure if that was because his eyes had been opened to a whole new world or if he had already been declared a Fallen.
Either way, the singing he always listened to of the other angels was still beautiful, and
nothing could ever wipe the memory of it from his mind. But now the music seemed a little flawed, and all he thought about was Penelope groaning.