Crazy for the Boss (Crazy in Love Book 1) (19 page)

Quinn had felt so hollow and sad for the past couple of days. Maybe finally talking about it would help. “Okay.”

Fifteen minutes later, the hot water and soap had gone a long way in making her feel almost human again, and she sat on the couch and relayed everything to her best friends. Particularly the part where, after she’d shared the most intimate, amazing, night of her life, he’d betrayed her trust by concluding the only way to save his project—his skin—was to sell Quinn and her project out.

The girls were quiet as they processed, the only sound that of their chewing.

Finally, Tessa spoke. “And…does he know about why this project was so important to you? About your mom and…you?”

“I told him.” She could see the surprise on their faces, knowing it’d been a taboo topic to her for so long. “And even knowing it, he still reached his decision.”

The girls surrounded her, each wrapping an arm around her, which, although comforting, brought renewed tears to her eyes. “We’re sorry,” Tessa offered.

“Do you want me to write up a blistering piece in an editorial—anonymous, of course—about what a sack of shit they all are?” Anna asked.

That earned a bleak laugh. “No. That’s okay. I don’t want to…hurt the company.” Or him.

Her phone vibrated from the coffee table, where it sat next to her drink. They all peered down to see an incoming call from James. That made easily eight today alone.

“What are you going to do?” Tessa asked, almost cautiously. “Tomorrow you go back to work, right?”

She pushed her hand through her hair. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. I…I don’t know how I can just go back to doing what I was doing before this weekend. Not just seeing James every day but interacting with him, pretending that everything that happened between us…didn’t.”

A look passed between her friends.

“So, it’s over then?” Tessa asked. “I mean, romantically. You don’t think you would ever forgive him?”

“It’s over,” Quinn said definitively. She’d reached that conclusion the moment James betrayed her trust. She couldn’t come back from that. Ever.

And she knew there was only one last thing to do before she could officially move on.

J
ames was certain that
, after having a couple of days to cool off, Quinn would have seen reason. Would see that this was just a temporary delay. That it wasn’t as big of a deal as she was making it to be.

Something that he had hoped to reiterate when he’d tried to call her only to find himself in voice mail Siberia.

But when Monday morning rolled around, and he walked into his office to find Quinn sitting quietly on the couch in the corner, her face tired and drawn and all too vulnerable, he became uneasy.

“You’re here. Good,” he said, and walked toward her. “I’ve been trying to reach you for a couple days. I wanted to make sure you’re okay…with things.” He sat next to her, noticing how she almost flinched, holding her body as far away as she could.

“If you mean I’m okay with you breaking my trust, then…no. I’m not. How was Cabo?”

“Cabo?” It took him a second to realize she didn’t know. “I didn’t go. As soon as I left Idaho, I made a beeline for home. There were some things I wanted to sort out, a few members of the board I wanted to meet with before Wednesday’s meeting. Things are looking good. I think I’ve got the votes to make sure we push through and finalize this Blossom deal. Not only that, but I could tell a few of the board members were uneasy with some of Dennis’s tactics. Enough that I’m not going to offer Dennis his job back.”

“Great. Congratulations. You get the deal and you lose Dennis.” Despite her words, her tone was so neutral. Robotic even. James studied her, noticing the tired, dark circles under her eyes, her usually lustrous brown eyes almost dull as they stared back at him.

Well, he had more good news, news that he hoped would turn up her enthusiasm, because this distance between them was killing him. “It is good. You’ll be relieved to know that Lauralee is back to work, and any pay she lost during the suspension will be reinstated. I’m also moving Paul to a different position, one that won’t be overseeing Lauralee.”

She nodded. “Good. And the EAP? Is that still on the chopping block?”

“Quinn. Come on. You know that I don’t have a lot of wiggle room here. It was only after I mentioned the possibility of holding off on the program that some of them even started listening to me. As it is, by my last count, I have the votes to pull this off. Barely.”

“So you are cutting the program?” she repeated.

“Just for a few months. Until we can show how solvent this new franchise is and the small change we lose getting the program up won’t even be noticed financially.”

“But we already went through this. The graphs, the anticipated gains in productivity and decrease in absenteeism… We showed that this could potentially increase our bottom line. Not hurt it. They were willing to try it, at least until now. After seeing your indecisiveness.”

“We’ve gone over this.” Why wasn’t what he’d told her enough? Lauralee had her job. Paul had been moved. Dennis was gone. Enough already. “Right now, I’m asking the board to accept a lot of changes on blind faith in me, a guy many of them wrote off as a slacker long ago. Right now things are rocky because of this latest power play. And with Dennis gone, I need to smooth the waters.”

“Of course.” She breathed in, exhaling slowly, and she handed him a letter he hadn’t noticed sitting on her lap before now.

He scanned its contents, not quite believing what it said.

“Is this a joke?” He glanced up to meet her eyes. “You’re quitting?”

“I am. Of course, I know that, ordinarily, two weeks’ notice would be a courtesy one would provide, but I don’t think my returning here would be a good idea.”

It was like someone had kicked him in the gut. She was out, just like that?

But her resigning meant a lot more than just leaving the company. She was leaving…him.

“That’s it then?” His voice was louder, sharper than he intended. “Everything we’ve come to mean to each other these past few months and weeks and days…you’re just going to give it all up?”

“I’m not the one who made the choice here, James.”

This time he did spring to his feet, pacing the floor. “I told you I don’t have a choice.”

“You do. You can believe in yourself, believe that you’re the person for this job and that, whatever your past misdeeds were, you’ve more than made up for them. Don’t feel you have to compromise your ideals to fit into anyone’s picture of who you should be. Demand the respect that you’re entitled to.”

His anger left him, leaving him only with this sudden suffocating feeling he was losing her.

“I’m sorry that I’m disappointing you. I really am. But I know we can still work through this. Make us work.” He reached out to try and take her hand in his, but she pulled it away, shaking her head.

“Don’t you see? Every relationship I’ve ever had, I’ve been afraid that I was going to be hurt, going to be let down. You asked me to trust you and I took that step, that leap of faith. I trusted you, believed you. Let myself feel things that I don’t think I’ve ever felt with another man before. Only to have that trust betrayed. It can never be the same between us, James. For any relationship to work, there has to be trust. And I’m afraid that I don’t trust you. Not anymore. You’re not the person I thought you were.”

“I’m the same person I was when you started here. I’m trying to keep this company relevant. Profitable. I have a legacy to maintain, and seeing that this place thrives and grows is the least I owe the memory of those who first built it. There are tough decisions that have to be made, things that have to be sacrificed along the way, but a strong leader knows this. Knows when to make those calls.”

She nodded almost sorrowfully. “I’m sure you believe that. But what about the promise you made to me? To your employees? Don’t you think that standing strong, not caving in on issues you believe in, is what makes you not just a better businessman but a better person?”

He hated the way she was making him feel, like he’d done something wrong. But he had responsibilities. And he was honoring those. “I guess you’re right. We don’t know each other. If you would let this come between what you and I could have together, I misjudged you.”

“I think it’s best I leave now,” she said, coming to her feet. The way she looked at him was so…cold. Distant. Like she’d already written him off, and his heart seemed to be constricting tightly in his chest. “I wish you luck, and I hope this deal is everything you thought it would be—no matter what you lost to get it.”

He wanted to bark something back, something that would make her feel a tiny bit of the pain she was causing him right now, but he stopped himself.

Instead, he watched the one person he’d thought would always be there for him, understand him, walk out the door.

Back at his desk, he sank into his seat, trying to tell himself he was going to be better off, they were both going to be better off going their separate ways. They clearly were more different than he’d thought.

If she couldn’t understand the responsibilities that came with being a Thornhill, they had no future.

In fact, he would be grateful they figured this out now rather than before things got far too complicated.

* * *

B
right and early Wednesday morning
, James sat at the table in the boardroom as Dennis, who wasn’t a member of the board or even, technically, employed with the company, laid out his concerns.

Concerns in James’s decisions these past few months in hiring some young woman who had no prior experience in corporate law or how a company like this operated. Concerns that James took that woman’s opinion over those of their experienced managers, in agreeing to fund that woman’s project. And finally, concerns that if James couldn’t make decisions for himself, why the board should reconsider their earlier vote to use company funds to finance a deal that could fail and fail epically.

What James wanted to do was cross the room and crash his fist into the man’s smug face over the implied insults he was making toward Quinn and her ways of persuasion.

It was disgusting and distasteful, and from the expressions of several board members, they agreed with James.

So James waited, silently fuming, biding his time until it was his turn to lay out the facts and call the vote that, according to his last count, was going to be his.

And then he could take the pats on the head from his grandfather and the rest of the board before going back to his office knowing that, for someone who now had everything he thought he wanted, he’d still lost something important—and not just his own integrity. No, something more—no, someone more—important.

Quinn.

Sure, he could have expected that in the days since her departure, he was bound to feel an immediate loss, as anyone would experience when a trusted and competent employee left, leaving them to scramble to answer questions the employee would have answered had she been there. And Quinn had answered a lot of questions, much more than he’d known, which told him that, with or without her, he wanted to find someone to continue in her position. Someone who would be focused on the employee side in the legal department, not just the leases and contracts.

But it was more than that.

He missed her face.

He missed her snort when she rolled her eyes at something annoying he’d said. The way she knew the worst things about him but seemed to accept him. At least until recently.

He missed the way she’d hid behind those hideous owlish glasses that he would give anything to see right now. The way she would smile at his bad jokes despite herself.

He missed how, when they’d made love, she’d given herself entirely to him, and he to her.

And the hardest truth was to realize that James could spend a day—no, a lifetime—thinking of things he missed and loved about Quinn, but—

Loved. About. Her.

He tested the word again.

Yeah. He sure as hell loved her. Loved her more than anything on this damn earth.

And what had he given it up for? Some pat on the head from his grandfather? A nod of agreement from the board?

None of that mattered to him anymore.

None of it. Only her.

Only Quinn. A woman who hid so much of herself from people because she was afraid of what they’d think of her if they knew she had to take pills. A woman who’d trusted him with the truth, even though she almost expected him to retract from her in disgust or even fear.

What had happened to him? Why, in the face of doubt, of fear he might lose his precious deal and his precious job, had he sacrificed something he actually believed in? Because he did believe this employee-assistance program was the right thing to do. He wasn’t Neil and he wasn’t even his grandfather.

He had his own vision of how he wanted Thornhill Management to grow and operate, appreciating the employees and rewarding them every bit as much as the board members and shareholders.

And if the board couldn’t accept this, his grandfather couldn’t accept this, then he wasn’t the right man and this wasn’t the right place for him to be.

He’d been working from a place of fear, fear of letting people down for so long, and he was done with it.

“James?”

He didn’t know how long it had been since Dennis had taken his seat and all eyes had turned to him, waiting to hear everything officially that they’d been talking about behind closed doors.

Coming to his feet, he cleared his throat, taking a moment to make sure what he was about to do was what he wanted.

Absolutely.

He wasn’t going to be afraid. He believed in his vision; he believed in himself and his capabilities. Exactly as Quinn had wanted him to do all along.