Crazy For You (27 page)

“I know you’re full of shit, mostly.” She let out a
sharp laugh. “You don’t give a damn about me, or what happens to
me. You proved that when we got married and you started ignoring
me. Well, you know what?” she asked, but didn’t wait for an answer.
“For the majority of our marriage…I’ve done nothing but plot my
death.” She bet that got him good. She wished she could see his
face. “That trip. Our honeymoon...it was all part of my plan. I
never intended to go anywhere with you.”

“Roxanne, you don’t mean that.” He paused, trying to
reconcile what was happening. “You know I love you.” Fear whipped
through him. If a grain of truth existed in her blatant honesty,
then she was more than likely going to leave him.

“You’re not capable of love.” Her laughter, cold and
cruel, pierced Frank like a pin cushion.

Hope abandoned him. “Roxanne...” his voice trailed
off.

Her hand shot up in his face. “No—” She turned in
Jerry’s direction, and Frank could almost see the anger melting
away from her face. She said to Jerry, “Do you think we can get to
the beach before I die?”

Jerry guided Roxanne downstairs and held onto her
with one arm while opened the front door with his free hand. They
went outside and Frank could only watch helplessly as Jerry left
with Roxanne.

Rich walked up to the door, looking at Roxanne and
Jerry over his shoulder. “What’s going on?” he asked Frank. “Why’s
there an ambulance here?” Rich did a poor job of shrouding his
anxiety. “And what the hell’s the matter with Roxanne?”

“She took an overdose,” Frank said, distant. “She
doesn’t want anybody to help her. She won’t let me near her. The
only reason she left with him is because she thinks he’s taking her
to the beach so she can die there.”

“Oh, no…” The color drained from Rich’s face.

“I’m going to the hospital.” Frank felt his pockets
for his keys. “I know that’s where he’s taking her.”

“I guess Candy and I will meet you there,” Rich
said.
Candy
. How was he going to tell this news to
Candy?

Rich headed back to his house, searching for the
hard-to-come-by words. Candy was going to freak.

Inside, he found Candy sitting on the couch
listening
to the television.

He sat down beside her, willing to bargain away just
about anything away if he didn’t have to do this. But there was no
respite. “Honey…there’s been an accident.”

“An accident?” she said, confused.

“It’s Roxanne.”

“Rocky?” she asked quickly. “What’s happened to
her?” Something was wrong. She sensed it in his voice. Fear washed
over her and she felt around for Rich’s hand.

“She took an overdose.”

“What…?” Candy blurted out. “On purpose?”

“Jerry’s taking her to the hospital. Frank’s already
left to follow them.” He was silent for a moment. “I’ll take you
there if you want.”

“Of course, I want. But what about Frankie?”

Oh, God
. Rich smacked his palm against his
forehead. How could he have forgotten about Frankie? “I know...” He
thought quickly. “I’ll call Glenna. She’ll come over and stay with
him.”

J
erry prayed that Roxanne
would pass out before he got to the hospital. He’d toss her over
his shoulder if necessary to get her inside though. But he’d just
as soon not have to go through all that. He was truly surprised
that she’d lasted this long. And because she had, he was afraid she
was going to die.

“Jerry?” her voice cracked, “are we at the beach
yet?”

“We’re almost there,” he assured her.

Straining to look out the window, she wanted to see
if she could see the water. She felt so cold. If she could just see
the ocean, but everything was a blur. Except Jerry. While she
couldn’t see him clearly, she knew he was there. As long as he was
with her, he’d protect her from Frank. “Jerry…” She turned toward
him. The fact that she couldn’t see him or anything else was
irrelevant. “I’m sorry.” The words caught in her throat and she
coughed them away. “Would you tell that to Candy, too?”

“Roxanne…why did you do this?”

“Don’t blame yourself,” she told him. “It’s not your
fault that you couldn’t help me.”

“Why couldn’t I?”

“Because…I was crying in the rain.”

“Crying in the rain?”

“Yeah. It’s hard to help someone when you can’t see
their tears,” she said. “And nobody saw them because they were
hidden by the rain…” Her thoughts trailed off and she stopped
talking. It was getting really hard to concentrate. More than
anything else, she just wanted to go to sleep. “Jerry…I’m getting
sleepy. If I fall asleep, will you wake me when we get to the
beach?”

“I will,” he said. “You just rest now.”

So tired now, she rested her head against the
window. She’d hoped to stay awake long enough to make it to the
beach, but she couldn’t hang on any longer. Her heart broke a
little because she’d desperately wanted to see the ocean one last
time, but she was quickly slipping into darkness.

In her last seconds of awareness she thought briefly
of Frank Garrett….

***

Chapter 24

R
ich ushered Candy through
the emergency room doors. Frank was sitting alone in the waiting
area with his head hung low. He looked like he’d just lost
everything that was good in his life. “Frank, how is she?”

Frank slowly lifted his gaze to look at Rich and
Candy. He tried to smile but it turned out badly. “I don’t know,”
he said. “They’re pumping her stomach right now…but they’ve been
doing that for a long time.”

Candy felt for the chair and sat down beside Frank.
“She’s going to be okay.” She was near tears. “She has to be
okay.”

“I keep trying to tell myself that…but if you’d seen
her face.” He shook his head slowly. “She hates me so much. She
truly wants to die.”

“This can’t be happening.” Candy sucked in a deep
sigh. “What about Frankie? What’s he supposed to do without his
mother?” Her tears fell freely.

Rich dropped into the chair beside Candy and pulled
her into his arms, trying to offer comfort.

Frank lowered his head and didn’t say anything more.
This was all his fault. He was the one who’d convinced her that
Frankie was better off without her. Frank could blame it on Jerry
all he wanted, but
he
was the one who’d driven her over the
edge.

“Look,” Rich said, “I just know…any minute Jerry’s
gonna come out here and tell us she’s okay.”

“Candy, I didn’t want this to happen,” Frank said.
“I love her. I do.”

“I know that, Frank.” Candy’s tears spilled down her
cheeks. She knew they’d just walked in, but it felt like they’d
been waiting an eternity for Jerry to come out and tell them
something. Anything. Any news would be a vast improvement over none
at all.

Candy leapt to her feet. “Where is Jerry? Why won’t
they tell us something?”

As if he’d heard her pleas, Jerry appeared through
the double doors marked “authorized personnel only”. The look on
his face told Rich the news wasn’t good.

“Here’s Jerry,” Rich said to Candy.

Frank stood and faced Roxanne’s doctor.

“Frank. Candy. Rich.” Jerry hesitated and shook his
head. He didn’t understand it. He and the hospital staff had done
everything they could possibly think of, but so far none of it had
helped Roxanne.

“I don’t want to hear you say that she’s dead,”
Frank said. “Don’t you dare tell me she’s dead.”

“She’s not dead,” Jerry said. “But she is in a
coma.” The words fell reluctantly from his mouth. “And she’s
unresponsive.”

“Okay,” Frank said, hopeful. “When will she wake
up?”

“I don’t know, Frank.” Jerry sounded powerless. “I
don’t know if she’ll ever wake up.”

“No!” Frank shouted, refusing the diagnosis.

Candy wanted to scream. She drew a breath, but
before she could release it she fainted.

Rich was having trouble processing what was
happening to Roxanne and his reflexes weren’t quick enough. Candy
hit the floor. Hard. Her head bounced off the steel bars securing
the chairs to the floor.

Jerry, Rich, and Frank all dropped to her side.
Jerry went to work checking her pulse and pulling her eyelids back.
“She’s okay.” He sighed his relief. “She only fainted.”

Rich picked her up off the floor.

“Bring her in here.” Jerry led him into the
treatment area. “We’ll find an empty bed so she can rest.”

Frank trailed behind them and while Jerry was
preoccupied with Candy, he decided to go find Roxanne. He had to
talk to her. He had to tell her he was sorry. Desperately Frank
searched each room, behind every curtain, until finally he found
her in a room all alone.

Slowly he moved toward her. She had tubes in her
nose and mouth and an IV in her arm. The sight of it sent chills
rushing through his soul. They’d bandaged her forefinger and taped
a couple of butterfly strips onto her neck. The heart monitor’s
constant beeping would have annoyed Frank had it not been for the
fact that it let him know she was still alive. He reached down and
caressed her face gently, silent tears slipped from his eyes.

“Roxie…please wake up,” he pleaded with her, even
though he didn’t think it’d do any good. “I have to tell you how
sorry I am.” Leaning over her, he brushed his lips against her
cheek. “I love you,” he whispered. “Don’t you leave me.”

Instantly the heart monitor stopped beeping. Now it
was this one long and very frightening alarm. Frank’s heart pounded
wildly as he scanned the room. He thought he knew what that sound
meant. He just couldn’t accept it.

Medical personnel rushed in and pushed Frank aside.
He stood by, watching helplessly as they tried to revive her.

“Get him out of here!” someone yelled.

Directly, a nurse went to his side. “Sir, I’m afraid
you’re going to have to wait out in the hall.” She didn’t wait for
a response. She escorted him out.

About ten minutes later, Jerry appeared through the
double doors a second time. “Frank, I don’t want you to sneak back
there again, okay?” Jerry scolded him. “I will let you see her when
I know she’s stable.”

“When will that be?” Frank asked, bitter. “Will you
ever know if she’s really stable?”

“I’m going to run some tests tonight,” Jerry said.
“But I’ll be honest with you...I really don’t know if she’s ever
going to wake up. And I’m not very optimistic about it.”

“I’ve got to get out of here.” Frank backed up a
couple of steps before turning and storming out. Not knowing where
to go or what to do, he went home.

He wanted to go to the condo but Roxanne had rented
that place out years ago. He couldn’t go over there in the middle
of the night, demanding the tenants vacate. But if he’d thought he
could get away with it he would have.

Back at home, Frank sat down on the stairs and
rested his head in his hands. This couldn’t be happening. She
had
to come out of the coma. She just had to. If she didn’t,
he didn’t know what he’d do. How would he carry on? How was he
supposed to live with himself? Why hadn’t he taken her seriously
the first time she’d tried this? If only…

Memories flooded his mind…the first time he saw her.
She was so beautiful. And shy. He knew from that moment on she was
the woman he wanted to love forever…

And the first time he told her he loved her…“Hell,
I’ve tried so hard to write you a song,” he’d said. “And I can’t
even come up with the words to express how I feel about
you.”...“The only thing I can ever come up with is…I love
you!”…

…The first time they made love. She was so ready,
willing, and eager that it made him crazy. They were good together.
Now that he thought about it, he had to admit they always had been.
Nothing or no one could ever make him feel the way she had…

Her birthday, the first one he’d celebrated with
her…He’d watched her open the present eagerly. Holding the leather
bound thesaurus, she glanced up with tears in her eyes.

“Read what I wrote inside,” he’d encouraged her.

She read his inscription…
Dear Roxanne, I just
want you to know how much you mean to me. And if writing is your
heart’s desire, then consider me standing beside you all the way. I
love you with all my heart! Forever, Frank
…

Her birthday had just passed. And Frank had missed
it. Actually, it was more accurate to say that he just hadn’t
cared. Waves of guilt rippled out from his heart.

She was just trying to help you
! A little
voice inside reprimanded him.

I know
, he agreed.
I know
. But she
didn’t know. She had no idea it was wrong. She was only trying to
help and he’d condemned her for it. Now he was sorry.

He wanted to condemn her for taking Frankie away,
too.
Do you really blame her
? asked that little voice inside
his head.

No
. Considering the way he’d treated her, he
didn’t blame her at all. Not anymore.

But it was too late. As much as he wanted to believe
otherwise, deep down inside he knew better. For as much as he
wanted to think she’d be okay, he was afraid that wasn’t going to
happen.

Frank went upstairs to their bedroom and sat down on
the edge of the bed. He saw them lying on the silver tray. The
rings he’d given her. He picked them up and was flooded with an
overwhelming desire to cry. Looking at the rings in his hand, he
didn’t want to acknowledge what that meant. She’d taken them off.
Now everything was becoming crystal clear. She wasn’t going to come
out of the coma because she didn’t want to. And there was nothing
he could do or say to make it right.

If only he could go back and change things. But what
would he change? How could he have kept this from happening? He
surveyed the room, wondering what he could have done to change the
outcome. And then he saw it leaning against the wall.