Crazy For You (41 page)

“Do you think we should take Frankie home tomorrow?
I mean, it would probably be better for him if we all went home,
don’t you think?” Nerves had her rambling. “I know we have some
things to work on…but we can do that just as easily at home,
right?”

“Yes.” He nodded. “It would probably be better for
all of us if we just went home. Shall I make the arrangements first
thing in the morning?”

“Yes. Let’s go home.”

Frank couldn’t believe his luck. After everything
he’d done to her, she still wanted to go home with him.

She couldn’t remember the things that had happened
between them. But she wanted to go home, mainly because she figured
that’s where she was supposed to be. Frank couldn’t agree more.

T
he next day the entire
party, including Jason and Jerry, headed back to Tampa. But Jerry
wasn’t quite ready to turn Roxanne over to Frank Garrett. Not
totally. Not yet. Sure, Candy believed Frank’s intentions were
honorable, but Jerry wanted proof. Even though neither Frank nor
Candy had exactly jumped up and down to welcome Jason and Jerry to
accompany the family back home, they went anyway.

Once back home in Tampa, Roxanne breathed a sigh of
relief after learning that Candy and Rich lived next door. It made
her rest a little easier knowing Candy was so close.

Frank moved his things out of their bedroom and into
Candy’s old room. He knew it was better for the both of them if he
gave her the time and the privacy she needed. Just like before, he
needed to give her the opportunity to fall in love with him before
he attempted to sleep with her.

It didn’t take Roxanne long to realize they’d
returned home a few days before Thanksgiving. Right away she wanted
to talk to Frank about the dinner. Surprisingly, she found him in
her study. A puzzled look crossed her face over finding him sitting
at what was supposed to be her desk.

“What’s wrong?” Quickly, he got up and moved around
to the front of the desk. “Are you okay? Is there anything I can
get you?”

“Do you write too?” Roxanne asked curiously.

“No.” He chuckled. “Well, songs. I write songs. I
used to anyway.”

“And you don’t anymore?” She sat down on the edge of
the desk.

“No.” He leaned against the desk and crossed his
arms over his chest.

“Why not?”

“Because I can’t.”

“You can’t?” she asked. “Or you won’t?”

“Both,” he said. “See, Roxie, I figured out that it
was the music that destroyed you. You felt like I chose music over
you. I won’t let that happen again.” He shrugged and shook his
head. “This time I won’t make the same mistake.”

“Thanksgiving is in a few days.” She wanted to
change the subject for now.

“Do you want to have a dinner?”

“Yes. I’d like that. We can invite Candy and Rich.”
She paused, gathering the nerve to discuss Garrett-Hollander.
“Where’s the rest of the band? Do you want to invite them?”

“That’s not necessary,” he said shortly.

“But aren’t they your friends? Why would you exclude
them from the day?”

“I don’t want to put too much on you.” He easily
explained it away. “Although—” A cynical inner voice cut through
his thoughts. “Glenna’s probably anxious to see for herself that
you’re okay.”

“Glenna?” Roxanne had no recollection of
Glenna
.

“She’s married to Glen. He’s the band’s drummer. And
you and Glenna were pretty good friends.” He hesitated, clearly
uncomfortable talking about his former colleagues. “I think the
rest of the guys are probably in Europe.”

“Well…we have to invite Glen and Glenna.”

“Okay.” Frank willingly agreed. He was prepared to
do whatever it took to make Roxanne happy.

Of course, he knew he couldn’t give her what she
really wanted—her memories. Or her ability to retain information
about the past. He’d lost count of how many times they’d talked
about Glen, Glenna, and the rest of the band. But even the idea of
what she’d lost was fleeting, and she had a hard time retaining the
facts within the recesses of her mind. Jerry had warned him that
her ability to hold on to the information about her lost years
would be a constant and repetitious learning experience.

A
fter a week of repetitious
learning about her connection with Glenna, Roxanne decided she owed
her old friend an apology. A big one. She planned to do just that
on Thanksgiving Day.

Finally, the day came, and Roxanne quickly pulled
Glenna aside, Can I talk to you?”

“Roxie, you don’t know how happy I am to see you.”
Glenna followed Roxanne into the room that housed her piano.

“I wish I remembered you.” A cold knot formed in
Roxanne’s stomach. Sometimes she felt like everybody was keeping
secrets behind her back, even though no one had done anything to
warrant such feelings.

“Nothing sparks for you, huh?”

“No.” Exasperation washed over Roxanne. “And it’s
not likely that anything ever will.” It wasn’t the questions she
was growing tired of, so much as having no means to rectify the
problem. “But that’s not why I wanted to talk to you,” she said,
getting back on track. “I need to apologize to you.”

“Apologize to me...whatever for?” Glenna asked,
almost laughing. “You don’t even remember me.”

“True. But I still know what I did to you.” Roxanne
sucked in a breath and swallowed her pride. “I lied to you. I told
you something that was entirely untrue. In the process, I made a
lot of people mad at you. And for that, I’m truly sorry.”

“Yes.” She nodded. “But I chose to believe your lie,
when deep down inside I knew it couldn’t possibly be true. And
besides…you’ve already apologized for that, and I’ve already
accepted...so, there’s really no need for any more apologies.”

L
ater that evening, after
the sun had long since disappeared, their friends had gone home and
Frankie was tucked safely in bed, Roxanne and Frank lounged lazily
out by the pool in a double lawn chair.

“Today was a good day, don’t you think?” It was more
of a statement than a question for Roxanne.

“Yes, I think it went very well.”

“You know I’m going to grill you some more, don’t
you?”

“Grill away,” he coaxed her. “I’ll tell you anything
you want to know.”

“Well,” she hesitated, a little embarrassed. “I’m
going to get a little personal here.”

“Okay,” he said cautiously.

“I want to know about the first time you and I had
sex.”

“We did not have sex,” he corrected her. “It was so
much more than that.”

“Really...?” Frankly, she was astonished to hear a
man say that. “Well enlighten me then,” she said in a half-teasing
way.

“I guess you want every little detail too?”

“Each and every one.”

“Well...it was the fourth of July and that was the
day I told you I was in love with you.”

“So...I suppose I said I loved you too?”

“Yes.” A smile turned up one corner of his mouth.
“As a matter of fact you did. That was also the day you told me
about Chuck.”

“Why did I wait so long to tell you about him? What
is it with me and not being forthcoming with information?” The
whole notion troubled her.

“Roxanne…if you want me to keep telling you about
the things that happened between us...you’re going to have to stop
condemning yourself for the things you did back then.”

“I’m sorry.” Her apology was riddled with her
frustration. “I just don’t understand how I could do the things I
did to you. Jesus...I was supposed to love you.”

“You did love me,” he said.

“I really don’t mean to upset you. I’ll try not to
do it again.”

“Roxie,” he started to object. “I don’t want you to
be afraid of upsetting me. You’re not upsetting me. I just hate to
see you condemning yourself when there’s really no reason.”

“With all this reminiscing that you’re doing for my
benefit—” She dragged out the inquiry. “—what if you begin to see
what a jerk I really was...and decide I’m not worth the effort a
second time?”

“You weren’t a jerk.” His voice was soothing. “I
didn’t think so then and I’m not going to think so now. And as for
the effort...? I’d put forth the effort a hundred times over, if it
meant there was even the slightest possibility that you could fall
in love with me again.”

Roxanne looked at him.
Do you believe in love at
first sight
? She was beginning to. “I just don’t want to find
myself in love with you, only to find out that you don’t love me
anymore.”

“Baby, that will never happen,” he said. “I tried
for a lot of years to stop loving you. But no matter how hard I
tried to tell myself I was over you, when all was said and done it
just wasn’t true. The problem back then was that I didn’t realize
it until it was too late. But I won’t make that mistake again.”

“You sound so certain of that.”

“I spent eight months thinking I’d lost you forever.
I’ll never let anything so trivial as my pride come between us
again.”

A sad, out-of-touch sensation filled Roxanne heart.
She wished she could remember something. Anything. “Please, go on
with your story. I want to know about the night we were first
together.”

“Well,” he said softly. “You were a bit apprehensive
because you thought I had this great experience advantage over you.
But I quickly put those fears to rest,” he added, bragging.

“And how, pray tell, did you accomplish that?”

“I have my ways.” His laughter teased her. “I am a
man of many talents, you know.”

“And what talent exactly was it that you used that
time?” She teased him right back.

“Well I basically told you it was a journey that
only you and I could take together. Essentially, it didn’t really
matter what I’d done in the past because what you and I shared
would be something I could never have with any other woman.”

“It’s no wonder that I fell for you.” She sighed.
“Well...I’ve discovered one of your so-called many talents.”

“And what do you think you’ve learned?”

“You’re a silver tongued devil, that’s what.” She
laughed.

“Nah,” he said, “I’m just a man in love, that’s
all.” He looked away. While he was a man in love, he was also there
alone.

“I’ll let you in on a little secret.” She felt as
giddy as a teenager. “While I’ve only known you for the better part
of a week—that I can remember anyway—I want to be in love with
you.”

Frank told her about that first night from such a
long time ago. About the bubble bath, the champagne, and how Candy
had barged in on them. He also told her how he’d promised her a
bottle of Dom Perignon someday.

“And did you ever make good on that promise?”

Regrettably, he had to answer, “No, I didn’t.”

“You are a man of your word,” she asked. “Are you
not?”

“That I am.”

“Then, when you least expect it, I’ll let you know
that it’s time to make good on your promise.”

***

Chapter 35

D
uring the next few weeks,
until just before Christmas, Frank and Roxanne spent their nights
sitting out by the pool while he told her about all the things that
had happened to make them fall in love, and to make that love grow
into a deep and everlasting devotion between the two of them.

But Roxanne could only try to imagine what it must
have been like for her when she watched him up on the stage, way
back when Garrett-Hollander was nothing more than a bar band
touring Florida. She understood that it wasn’t the musician she was
initially attracted too, but surely that part of him must have been
a factor in her falling in love with him. And for as much as she
knew she was falling, she also knew there was something
missing.

Roxanne listened to Garrett-Hollander’s music over
and over. She watched all the videos as often as she listened to
the albums, and she took a keen interest in the recorded concert
footage. In Frank’s words she could hear the resentment, anger, and
hatred that he’d undoubtedly felt after she disappeared without a
word. But most of all, she heard the pain and hurt she’d inflicted
upon him.

It just wasn’t the same though. Something was
missing. She longed to see him perform in person. But with the way
things stood now, that wasn’t likely to happen. He’d made that very
clear.

A few days before Christmas, Roxanne was rummaging
through her closet. She was curious about what kind of person the
writer and actress in her was. She knew absolutely nothing about
the woman she’d become. The same woman who’d stole a rock star’s
heart, and in turn broke that same heart a thousand times over. In
the back of the closet she found a garment bag. Mainly out of
curiosity she pulled it out and draped it across the bed. Opening
it, she found herself with a beautiful gown of pale-pink lace and
silk.

“Geez,” she muttered. “Where the hell did I wear
this?”

“It’s your wedding dress,” Frank said from the
direction of the doorway.

Roxanne gasped and turned around. He was standing
there with a slight smile on his face. “You scared me.” It was kind
of funny now though, after she’d felt a wave of relief.

“I’m sorry.” He strolled toward her. “That was not
my intention.”

“It’s okay.” She laid the gown on the bed. “This is
my wedding dress?”

He nodded and sat down next to the dress.

Roxanne sat on the other side of the garment. It was
the only thing between them. She pulled the gown up and held it
against her. “I can’t imagine wearing a beautiful dress like
this.”

“Indeed you did.” He smiled sadly and touched her
cheek. “You were absolutely stunning.”

Roxanne looked away bashfully. “I wish I could
remember…” her voice trailed off as she tried to hold back the
tears.

“Do you want to see it?”

“Huh?” she didn’t hide her confusion.