Crazy Maybe (17 page)

Mitch has the spotlights set to a deep red hue and the black curtains are closed behind me.  The fog machine is set on low so the mist is barely creeping across the stage.  With the fans set on low, my long, thick hair is slightly drifting on the breeze.  The combination of the stage effects with my black leather pants, four-inch black stilettos, and a black, backless tank gives it all a fierce look.  Exactly the way I’m feeling right now.

There’s no elaborate scene to play out tonight.  No man’s lap to sit in while I sing words of eternal love.  No, tonight is all about his broken promise and my new promise.  The music starts off instantly fast paced and…fierce…and I feel like every lyric sings directly to him.  But it’s really the second verse and every word after that spells it out.  The song is
For My Sake
, by Shinedown.  And it’s absolutely brilliant and bold.  It’s also fitting that the song ends fairly abruptly – just like we did.

I keep my eyes on his during the whole song.  While I never point at him, I leave absolutely no doubt that this song is only for him.  My voice, my movements, everything about me is hard, angry and inflexible.  I make sure to leave no room for any misinterpretation. 

I especially feel that from the second verse to the end of the song really speaks to what I’m feeling right now. 
I’m blatantly daring him to show me he’s not really like every other guy out there who broke his promise, but knowing that he is only reaffirms my decision to be completely done with him.  

I know we’re making a scene with all of our drama and I want it to stop.  But at this moment, I just need him to feel my pain and hear from me that I
am putting us behind me for my sanity.  At the end of the verse and the chorus that follows, there’s no doubt he now knows exactly what’s on my mind. 

Luke doesn’t move during my whole performance.  He doesn’t move his eyes.  He doesn’t speak to anyone, not even the waitress who’s so blatantly trying to get his attention.  A couple of drunk girls approach him but he doesn’t acknowledge them.  It’s too dark to see what his eyes are trying to tell me but I don’t even want to know.  I’ve avoided him for a reason.  The song is exactly right when it says what he lost was me.  For my own sanity, I can’t look back.

I acknowledge the applause from the crowd but honestly I don’t even care about the contest at this point.  If I make it another round or not does not matter to me in the least.  I may not even be in the area by the next round.  I plan to call and schedule an appointment with the realtor to put my house on the market tomorrow.  If it doesn’t sell soon, I’m seriously considering just giving it away just so I can get the hell out of Dodge. 

I’m barely cognizant of exiting the stage because I’m so wrapped up in my thoughts.  I’m considering just walking out the door and leaving now instead of returning to our table.  Suddenly I’m hoisted into the air but I just saw Shane still sitting at the table so I know it’s not him this time.  I don’t know who the hell has grabbed me but he’s about to get a mouth full of my fist, especially in my current state of pissed off mind.  When I catch a glimpse of him over my shoulder, I’m doubly determined to draw blood.

He pulls my ear to his mouth and has the damn nerve to ask, “Did you miss me, baby?”  Then he sets me down and smiles at me like I’m a long lost friend. 
Ah, hell no!

I don’t return the smile.  In fact, if looks could kill, he would be already buried at this point.  “Miss you?  Have you been gone?”  I respond dryly and turn to walk away from the second biggest mistake I’ve made in the dating arena.  I spot Shane barreling through the people to get to us and he’s obviously pissed.  Will is fast on his heels.

“Brad,” Shane’s voice is low and threatening, “Don’t. Fucking. Touch. Her. Again.”  He narrows his eyes and punctuates each word to emphasize his meaning. 

Will moves up beside Shane and it is a very ominous sight to see a mad Will.  His voice belies his eyes and his words, “No, Shane, its fine.  By all means, let him put one finger on her.  One. More. Fucking. Time.”  Will’s last words are clearly a dare and Brad quickly backs up.  Maybe he’s not quite as stupid as he looks. 

Brad holds his hands up in front of him and answers jovially, “No harm intended, fellas.  I just wanted to say hello.”

“You’ve said it.  That’s the only word you get with her, motherfucker.  If I see you near her again, I will pound your face in the ground.  You feel me?”  Shane grabs my hand and protectively pulls me to his side.  I go willingly because I don’t want to be anywhere near Brad and I don’t want Shane and Will to get in trouble for killing him.  He’s just not worth the trouble of the going all the way home to get my shovel, dig the hole and hide the body.

Shane and I turn as one to walk back to the table and suddenly he’s pulling me to the side, away from everyone.  It’s now that I see Luke stood up but never left the table.  I guess he was getting ready to have Shane and Will’s back in case a fight broke out. 

Shane demands, “What the hell is going on with you and Luke?”  He actually looks mad at
me
. 
What the hell?

“Absolutely nothing,” my voice is flat and I’m doing my best to give him a bored look.

“What does that mean, exactly?”  Shane demands.

“It means that there is
absolutely nothing
going on between Luke and me.  Exactly nothing.  Exactly
absolutely nothing
.” 

I’m glaring at Shane now and I’m purposely being a smartass.  I really shouldn’t be, considering how glad I was to see Shane when Brad grabbed me.  And how Shane just saved my ass.

“Look, I’m sorry, ok?  Things aren’t working out with us and I don’t want you in the middle,” I explain, nicer this time.  Shane nods in understanding and lets the subject drop. 

I push through the crowd to tell Mitch to put my girls’ drinks on my tab and tell them goodbye.  I can’t stay here and be this close to Luke.  I just can’t handle it because I simultaneously want to tell him to go to hell and beg him to listen to me.  Just hear me out, for crying out loud, I’m not a monster like he treated me.  But I can’t do either and I just have to get away as far away from him as I can right now.

As I turn to leave, I see Brandon is sitting beside Luke and for some reason, I feel betrayed all over again.  They’re brothers, I know, but I spent a long time talking to Brandon after Luke left me alone that day.  Brandon picked me up off the floor – literally, I fell to the floor on my knees from the pain of watching Luke so callously walk away from me.  Brandon helped me - he put me in his truck and drove me home.  And he isn’t even the one who supposedly loved me.

I didn’t tell Brandon what happened – with his parents or with the mental hospital – but I think he did believe me when I said it wasn’t what it looked like.  I try to tell myself that he hasn’t turned on me just because he’s sitting with Luke right now.  My mind knows it but my heart won’t listen.  He must know what I’m thinking because he gets up and steps into my only path out of this section of tables.

“Andi,” his voice is smooth and calm, “you should talk to him.”  He inclines his head towards Luke but keeps his eyes on me.  He’s probably thinking if he turns his head, I will dart around him and be gone.  And he would be right.

“
No
.”  I narrow my eyes at him, square my shoulders and set my jaw, daring him to continue this foolish conversation.

“Hey, I’m on your side.  I’ve told him what an idiot he is,” Brandon says with such sincerity that I don’t doubt him at all.

I have no doubt Brandon has done just that.  “That doesn’t change anything, though.  Does it?”

He tilts his head to the side and studies me for a minute.  “No, I guess it doesn’t,” he says gloomily.

I give him one curt nod and a half-smile and keep walking.  Once I’m around him, I turn and say with all sincerity, “Brandon, thank you….for believing me.  It means more than you could possibly know.”  He nods in gratitude.

Before I even get to my car, the tears are flowing uncontrollably and I just want to get away from here.  I’m reaching for the door handle when I hear a man’s soft call just behind me, “Andi.”  It’s just barely above a whisper and his warm breath floats across the top of my head. 

I turn and stare into his eyes for a half a second before the warning bells in my head go off.  I’m in the parking lot alone with him.  Again.

“Brad.  Get away from me.”  My voice holds more warning than I feel inside right now.  I can’t show him any weakness.

“You know you don’t want that, Andi.”

“I know I want you as far away from me as possible, Brad.”

He grabs my hand and starts pulling me towards the other end of the parking lot.  I immediately struggle against him but since he’s a big guy, and used to be a boxer at the club before Mack banned him, I don’t stand much of a chance against him.  But I refuse to go down without a fight and he will at least have some marks on him compliments of yours truly.

In no time, he’s pulled me to his car and is trying to stuff me in it when a pair of big hands grab me and another pair of big hands grab him.  I’m thrown over someone’s shoulder and carried back to my car.  I can’t make out much in the dark parking lot, hanging upside down and facing a nice and familiar jean-clad ass.  But I think I see someone who may or may not resemble Shane wailing on Brad, who is definitely crying like a girl.

There seems to be a theme with the men around me picking me up and carrying me around like they own me.  When this particular man puts me down, I’m suddenly at a loss for words – except for one word. 
Luke
. 

I mumble a
thank you
and he looks as uneasy as I feel.  I finally find my voice and give him an appropriate response for what he just did.

“Thank you, Luke.  If you hadn’t come along when you did…..well, I don’t want to even think about that.  But I appreciate what you did….stepping in and helping me.”

My gratefulness is sincere but I could barely maintain eye contact when I talked to him.  It just hurts to look at him and not be able to touch him.  Well, except for when I was hanging over his shoulder and ogling his fine ass.

“How could I
not
help you, Andi?”  I hear the pain in his voice and the insinuation that I thought he wouldn’t help me.

I give him my ultimate
DUH
look but I don’t feel the need to elaborate.  He knows exactly why I would think that.  My only consolation in this whole fiasco tonight is that hopefully he thinks my tear-stained cheeks are from my altercation with Brad.

“I should go.”  I turn and walk away when I hear him call my name.

LUKE

“Andi,” I don’t even know what to say.  I just don’t want her to leave.  She stops in her tracks but doesn’t look at me.  Yeah, I heard the words of the song she sang to me tonight.  She didn’t sit in my lap this time but I know it was directed at me.  I deserve every bit of her anger – I let her down when she needed me the most.  She was right about one thing that night – she wouldn’t betray me. 

“What do you want, Luke?”  She’s trying to hold back tears.  I know they’re tears because of me, even though the song she obviously sang for me says she’s moving on.  I see her shoulders shake slightly and I know she’s really trying to not break down right here.  

“Are you hurt?  Do you need someone to drive you home?” 

After a couple of seconds, she answers with a watery voice, “I’m fine.”

She walks off, quickening her pace so my words can’t stop her again.  I stand frozen like a damn statue watching her drive away from me.  I turn to see if Shane has killed the loser, Brad, and see Brandon glaring at me.

“What?”  I ask defensively.

“Are you fucking kidding me?  You just asked her if she needs someone to drive her home --
after some guy just fucking assaulted her in the parking lot!
  How many fucking times have you been hit in the head?”  Brandon is stalking off towards his car, shaking his head at me in disgust.  I jump in my truck and speed off after Andi.  Brandon’s right – of course she’s not ok.

Shane just told me a little about this douchebag Brad.  When I saw him lift her up off the floor, I wanted to wipe the floor with him.  After Shane told me why he hates douche-Brad so much, I wish
ed I had done it.  Andi went on a couple of dates with him but wouldn’t sleep with him.  Shane said Andi knew almost right away that he was trouble.  When she turned douche-Brad down, he tried to drag her off, just like he did tonight.  No doubt to rape her but something else must be off in the guy’s head.  He thinks if he just has time alone with her then she’ll change her mind.

I would’ve loved to been the one to give him a beat down.  But when I saw him dragging her off and she was fighting with everything she had, I automatically went to her.  I want to protect her and love her.  It just felt natural to get her first when I knew Shane wouldn’t let douche-Brad get away.

I reach her house and see her bedroom light is on so I know she made it home.  I scrape my hands over my face, force myself out of the truck and walk up to ring her doorbell.  I don’t really expect her to open the door.  I know she’ll look out the window, see my truck and tell me to fuck off.  But I wait anyway.  She doesn’t answer after a couple of doorbell rings and I sit down on the porch floor with my back to the door.  I lean my head back and turn to look at the door knob.