Crazy Sexy Diet: Eat Your Veggies, Ignite Your Spark, and Live Like You Mean It! (36 page)

Self–care
(including cleansing and detoxing) extends beyond the food in your fridge. A Crazy Sexy life includes reflection, booty shake, natural beauty products, rest, and relaxation. But you knew that, right? And yet it’s so easy to overcommit or mismanage your time. Like most multitasking gals, you’ve probably broken many promises to yourself. You’ve written “Eat right and exercise more” resolutions for decades. As life spins out of control, you break those resolutions—often after just a few days of trying them. This all-too-common pattern sets the stage for a bigger problem.

The dilemma with continually falling on and off the self-care wagon isn’t that you missed out on sweating, healthy food, soul pampering, and prayer, it’s that you eventually lose trust in your own word. That’s 911 bad. Losing trust leads to losing belief in your self-worth. Ouch! What’s next? “Why bother? I never follow through,” “I’ll always be fat, sick, and unhappy,” “I’m not good enough or smart enough,” “It runs in my family, there’s nothing I can do.” Do you see the powerless position these words put you in? Enter the language police.

As hard as it might be, I want you to backtalk your inner nag and get on the wagon again. She doesn’t deserve the last word. Your words (or hers!) create your reality. They affirm all things good or all things negative. This isn’t just some
new agey “Secret” shit; it’s the key to creating harmony in your life. So as you approach this new anti-inflammatory diet and lifestyle, will you choose half-empty thinking or half-full? Here’s a hint: Choose half full! Rebuild trust by showering yourself with kindness and care. Make space for the new you by cherishing your time and using it wisely. The world won’t explode if you ease up, let go, and chillax. Stress sucks. It eats you alive. And if you’re a perfectionistic control freak, I’m especially talking to you. Take things off your plate, dear one. Create new habits and new routines that support your highest good.

Here’s a helpful exercise: Picture yourself when you were five. In fact, dig out a photo of little you at that time and tape it to your mirror. How would you treat her, love her, feed her? How would you nurture her if you were the mother of little you? I bet you would protect her fiercely while giving her space to spread her itty-bitty wings. She’d get naps, healthy food, imagination time, and adventures into the wild. If playground bullies hurt her feelings, you’d hug her tears away and give her perspective. When tantrums or meltdowns turned her into a poltergeist, you’d demand a loving time-out in the naughty chair.

From this day forward I want you to extend the same compassion to your adult self. As Terri Cole, an awesome therapist, life coach, and my best pal, says, “If not you, then who? If not now, then when?” The next time your inner nag has something bad to say, stop and think about that kid. Then rewrite your script accordingly. You’re worth it, angel wing. The world needs you to stand in your holy shazzam glory! Polish your inner and outer shine to a brilliant luster by committing to a comprehensive self-care regime.

Meditation is a prerequisite
for Crazy Sexy success. When your mind is strong and centered, cravings and emotional discomfort won’t have the same sabotaging effect. Therefore, it stands to reason that a positive way to start your day looks something like this: pee, brush your teeth, and sit your ass on a meditation pillow! Wait, no coffee, news, or
New York Times
? Nope.

Our minds are the most open first thing in the morning. How we start our day sets us up for success or failure. As my friend Marianne Williamson says, “Do not be mystified about why you are depressed by noon when you start your day with the angst and despair in the world, especially if you add caffeine.”

I recently gave a wellness lecture at Harvard University. Toward the end of my speech, I taught the students a simple meditation technique and encouraged them to join me for five minutes of silence. When the time was up, I asked the brightminded kids how it felt. One of the young men made the following observation: “I hated it! Halfway through it felt like torture.” Hold up, halfway through was at minute 2.5! “What if I told you that meditation could teach you how to better concentrate and focus, which would ultimately enhance your performance at school?” I asked. That got their attention! As you can imagine, Harvard is an extremely competitive joint where the vast majority of the students experience major burnout. What good is the expensive knowledge if you’re too fried to use it? That day we began to strategize a curriculum for what I called the Inner Harvard. Naturally, meditation was at the top of the list. When you understand your mind you can harness its power to achieve more than you imagined possible. The space between the noise is where God/dess lives. There are many answers there. Don’t shy away from visiting.

Like the young Harvard student, the thought of meditating may overwhelm you. Some imagine excruciating boredom. Others are afraid of what they might feel if they took the time to pay attention. I can totally relate. In the past, wild maniac squatters frequently took up residence between my ears, under my blond hair. When I first started meditating I thought I would Helter Skelter snap.

Since then I’ve lived in monasteries, made pilgrimages to zendos, ashrams, sweat lodges, churches, mosques, and retreats. The silence within those walls reminded me that beneath my static lay an encyclopedia of healing guidance. Calm … can you picture it? What a nice place to take a day trip! It’s free, and the view is spectacular. Start (and end) your day with five minutes, graduate to ten, work up to twenty, and so on. Meditation quiets the din and introduces you to yourself. “Hi me, I’m me, nice to meet you!”

Before you jump in
, here are a few suggestions that may prevent complete lunacy. Create a sacred space just for you. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. We’re not talking Taj Mahal here. My space consists of a little altar with pictures I love, candles, posies (altars like offerings), angel cards, and other spiritual tchotchkes. Christmas lights help, too. I like to meditate, pray, rant, and journal while sitting on a pillow in front of my altar. As soon as my butt hits the cushion, it’s excavation time. If a pillow doesn’t work for you, try a comfortable seat or a back jack chair (a floor chair that has fantastic back support). Buy a kitchen timer or a meditation chime. Set the timer for an appropriate number of minutes—ten to fifteen to start. Close your eyes and take a deep and cleansing breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Let your breath settle into a normal rhythm and then begin to count to ten. Inhale one—exhale; inhale two—exhale; and so on. If that’s too slow for you then inhale one—exhale two—inhale three—exhale four, etc. If your mind drifts and you imagine yourself buying shoes or guns, gently bring it back and start counting again. Your mind is like a muscle: The more consistent you are, the stronger you get.

Each time you return to the breath, you break an old pattern (distraction) and create a new mental habit (focus). Direct your mind where you want it to travel instead of always going for the ride. You can also use a mantra if this is easier for you. For example, inhale “let,” exhale “go,” or inhale “may all beings everywhere,” exhale “be happy and free.” When the timer beeps, you’re done. You did it! Now do it again later and again tomorrow. Got it?

One last note: There is no “right” way to tune in. If a guided meditation or visualization works better for you, fantastic! There are countless CDs available. Chanting, Kirtan, and dance are other great tools. Check out my dear mentor and spiritual sister Gabrielle Roth’s 5 Rhythms method, also known as “Sweat Your Prayers.” Gabrielle’s deeply healing movement meditation draws from shamanism, eastern philosophy, and psychology. At the core of the practice is the belief that everything is energy that moves in waves, patterns, and rhythms, which releases the heart and mind in order to connect to the soul. Amen! For more information, check out
www.gabrielleroth.com
.