Crest (Ondine Quartet Book 3) (6 page)

"Baudelaire's intrigued by her. He wonders if she'll be the ultimate sweetness, a symbol of life's rich fertility. Or if she'll be the opposite, a vessel for death and sadness. Does she promise the start of life or the end of it? Will she only live with his best side or will she accept his worst?"

I glanced down at the rest of the poem. "But he says there are empty cases and lockets deeper than she is."

What the hell?

Amusement glinted in his eyes. "Yeah, but he also points out in the last stanza that her stubbornness and indifference doesn't matter. He worships her beauty."

"Is he serious?"

He shrugged. "With a title like
The Love of Lies
, that's something you have to decide for yourself."

"Well, I wouldn't want to be anyone's fruit or urn."

"Refreshingly unsentimental as always, sweet iris."

I put down the program, unable to concentrate. "You know what bothers me?"

"Long Island accents and non-fat muffins?"

"Ha-ha. About The Alder Branch."

"What?"

"The way we found Bianca and Cai." I paused. "The Lieutenant knows we're after him. He placed them there. What if he placed something else?"

A staged quality had permeated the scene, a feeling as artificial as the forgeries Aquidae sold.

Julian's eyes narrowed. "You don't trust what we found."

"I think we need to be careful."

I gazed out the window at the brownstone across the street. A light in one of the second floor windows winked off and I felt a trace of envy. There were those who went to bed innocent of evil, still secure in what they saw and believed about their world.

It was something I'd never had. Empaths learned about the lies people hid and the depravity they were capable of at a very early age.

Past experiences formed the truth of what I understood about our world. My future only promised more of it.

The Shadow made his intentions clear in the Lyondale factory a month ago.

I won't stop until I take everything from you, sondaleur. Until I break you. And you realize I'm the only one that can both give and take away your pain.

Manipulating elementals down a particular course of action was his speciality.

No. I didn't trust what we found at Peter Schlusser's store, but it was all we had to go on.

My phone beeped. An email from Aubrey with the decrypted files from Peter's computer.

"This make any sense to you?"

The first few were official looking documents written in Italian.

"Looks like custom forms for an international freight delivery. Might be that shipment Edmundo was talking about." Julian pointed to a line at the top. "Estimated arrival date was Friday."

Aubrey's attached note explained her background check on the Italian shipper. Everything checked out. They were a legitimate art dealer known for high-profile auctions.

Nothing about the form raised a red flag. A final delivery address wasn't listed.

"Does it say what kind of shipment it is?"

"Antiquities," he murmured. "Which means historic objects. Artifacts."

Evidence at The Alder Branch pointed to the Aquidae specializing in paintings. Why bring in old vases, jewelry, or pottery pieces?

A line creased Julian's brow. "Did she send anything else?"

The next file contained information on a human female, Rebecca Morrel. It including photo, place of residence, employment and financial info.

Ms. Morrel was currently a curator at the Metropolitan Museum.

"She's probably the contact," I said.

A few weeks ago, we'd tracked an Aquidae, Barry, to the museum but were unable to figure out who he'd met with. For the Manhattan cell to run a successful smuggling operation, they'd need a human to sell fraudulent and stolen artwork on the black market.

Maybe Rebecca was the key.

"She's hot," Julian remarked.

A svelte blonde in her early twenties with cool features and impeccable makeup smiled from the photo. The knowing look in her eyes said she was perfectly aware of her effect on the opposite sex.

"Are you really checking out our mark?"

"Jealous?"

"LeVeq, you barely managed to get Leila off your back two days ago," I said, exasperated. "You hit on the barista at the coffee shop every morning. It's like you can't..."

He gave me a look.

I exhaled. "Don't."

"Why not?" His voice lowered, curling against me with a different kind of intimacy. Heat burst to life in his eyes.

I blinked.

Julian possessed a powerful charisma and when he turned it on, he had the ability to wipe out every female in the vicinity.

A fascinating bundle of contradictions made him unpredictable. He genuinely didn't give a shit what you thought of him; but he also knew he could deliver exactly what you wanted.

I'd gotten so used to working with him I didn't notice it much anymore. Once in a while, he still caught me off guard.

Julian wasn't traditionally handsome. But with short black hair, hypnotic dark blue eyes, and the sculpted body of a chevalier, he was sexy, the kind of guy who made females think of decadent gifts, luscious hours of seduction, and long nights in bed.

I tilted my head. "Why do you do that?"

"What?"

"Hit on me, on the others, like it's some kind of reflex."

His eyes met mine, deadly serious. "Is that what you're worried about? Because there's only you, Kendra."

He reached out and rubbed a strand of my hair between his fingers.

I pulled away. "Julian —"

"We don't have to go back."

"What?"

"To Haverleau. We can continue what we're doing." His voice grew impassioned. "Rogue and out here in the human world. We'll find the Shadow together. Just you and me."

He couldn't really believe that. "You know I can't."

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to be the next Governor!" Incredulous, I stood and took a step away. "Do you expect me to walk away? To leave them?"

"Come on. You can't tell me you want to stay." He shot me a disbelieving look. "On the Governing Council with my mother? That's not who you are."

Was that what this was about? "I'm not going to turn into her —"

"And this thing about becoming Governor? That's not you."

His dismissive tone ignited my own simmering doubt and I snapped back.

"What you're asking for is not who I am, either."

He wanted the Kendra who'd lived in the human world. The one who wasn't the
sondaleur,
whose only investment in the war was eliminating any Aquidae who got in her way.

I wasn't her anymore.

Life had changed. I'd changed.

A mask settled over his face. "You'd rather be there than here with me."

"You have a Virtue that allows you to go anywhere, be anyone you want. You're good looking, smart, wealthy, and talented."

He leaned closer. "So what's the problem?"

I sighed. "Perspective, LeVeq. You always expect to get what you want because you have everything."

Julian stiffened. "I worked my ass off to —"

"I know you're not spoiled." I let him see the truth in my eyes. "You earned it."

And it hadn't come easy. His unusual gift and parentage made for a difficult childhood and he'd worked hard to define himself separately from his mother and family.

"What I'm saying is you're used to winning all the time."

"That's not true."

"You took a dangerous job because the adrenaline rush makes you feel alive. You like taking risks and your particular talents help you charm, cajole, or manipulate your way into making them pay off." I crossed my arms. "You get what you want."

"Sounds like someone I know."

Our Virtues complemented each other and a few similarities carried over into our personalities. Projection provided huge tactical leverage and Empath was vital for gaining strategic advantage.

"Some of it. But there are also things I know I can't have." My chest unexpectedly squeezed and I swallowed. "You learn to accept it."

His eyes searched mine. "And if I can't?"

"Am I the first person who turned you down?"

He didn't answer.

I spread my arms. "I rest my case."

"It's not just that," he murmured. "It's this feeling with you.You make my life different. Better."

I shut my eyes. "I can't give you what you want."

Cool fingers slid around my wrist. "So let me give it to you. Don't you want to be free?"

It was similar to the first thing he'd said to me outside Lumière's dorms almost a year ago.

The problem was how far apart our answers were to that question. Julian was a romantic, a trait he hid behind sardonic wit and a fatalistic attitude.

He believed in a literal freedom, one in which you could simply forget or walk away from violence, war, and horror. Shed responsibilities as easily as glamour.

It was a beautiful and tempting idea. It was also terribly naive.

I echoed something Ian once said. "No one can be completely free, LeVeq. There are choices —"

"Maybe you're too scared to run toward what you want."

"And maybe you're too scared to face what you're running from."

His face hardened. "Is it because of Prince Selkie? Because you're his?"

God, that phrase irritated me.

"I'm not a thing." I tugged my arm away. "No one owns me."

He stood, not taking his eyes off me. "Do you love him?"

"It's complicated."

"No, it's not."

He still lived in a black and white world where the only answers were yes or no. It was either for the job or not. Risky enough to interest him or not. Either he received love or didn't.

Julian couldn't accept that there were other forms, other ways of expression that had as much power.

The distance between us expanded, a chasm filled with every unspoken thought that had built over the past year.

"Tell me what you need." Shadows under his eyes appeared stark in the room's light. "Tell me what I can do to change things —"

"I need you to be a friend."

He flinched.

Why wasn't my friendship enough?

I'd counted on him to prepare me for the level necessary in chevalier and elite training. For one month we'd worked together as equals, tracking, locating, and fighting Aquidae.

Anger flared. Trust was something I rarely gave and he was stomping all over it.

"You don't know me."

"I know you're suffocating. I know I could give you this." He waved his hand at the window. "A life outside of Haverleau. We could go to museums and concerts, enjoy the city, all while hunting Aquidae. You could go back to the life you had before all this
sondaleur
stuff. Isn't that what you want?"

"You sure that's not what you want?"

It wasn't just glamour. Somewhere along the line he'd started projecting himself on to me.

"He doesn't love you." His jaw clenched. "All he feels toward you is obligation and duty. You're just another ondine he has to protect."

The words sliced deep, shredding open every raw doubt and fragile yearning I kept locked away.

"Maybe." My voice managed to stay level. "But it's not about choosing him over you."

I couldn't say it right. There was no right way to ever say this.

"Even if I hadn't met him, even if he weren't around, it wouldn't change anything. I'm not in love with you."

A part of me cracked at the sharp pain carved into his face.

I hated hurting him, hated adding to the bitter rejection he secretly held on to.

But I'd always told him the truth.

I wasn't the one who could remove that lingering trickle of sadness in him. I wasn't who he was really searching for.

Without another word, he turned and walked away.

"Julian."

He shut the door quietly. It would've been so much better if he'd slammed it.

I sat, hands clenched and body tensed, resisting the urge to go after him.

I didn't want to lose him.

But I'd rather have him hate me for the rest of my life than lie to him about something so important.

He was my friend, my partner.

I'd show him what that meant.

THE FIRST DELICATE RAYS OF dawn unfurled against the opaque sky. I made my way back to the common area, settled on the window seat, and stared at my phone.

No calls, no messages.

Worry and trust warred inside. Julian needed time away from me and I wanted to give it. What I said last night drew a hard line between us and hurt him deeply.

Along with an unwanted prophecy, a social status that rubbed me the wrong way, and a family of strangers, Haverleau had given me the perplexing bond known as friendship.

My mother raised me apart from humans and elementals. Handling important relationships was a concept still new to me.

A month ago, I would've left Julian alone to clear his head. But recent experiences with Chloe taught me that leaving someone isolated in hurt could result in worse consequences.

Maybe friends were supposed to meet halfway.

I compromised by sending him a lightly worded text asking when he'd return so we could kick ass.

Another hour passed with no response.

The last time we fought was at Tristan's birthday party in December. Despite the tension between us, he'd done everything possible to find the Aquidae trafficking ring responsible for hurting Marcella.

No matter how angry he was, Julian wouldn't abandon the job. Immersing ourselves in work and seeking a physical outlet were how we both dealt with emotional turmoil.

I moved to the sofa and spread photos we took at The Alder Branch on the coffee table.

Peter's lifeless eyes gazed blankly at me.

What did you know?

I went back to the files Aubrey sent us.

Edmundo had stressed the importance of the shipment. If we could get ahold of it, we could use it as leverage to force the Aquidae's hand.

Instincts told me Julian would handle Rebecca Morrel. Women were his strength and after what happened, obtaining boring shipping information wouldn't provide the kind of rush he needed.

Which meant that task fell to me.