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Authors: Declan Burke

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BOOK: Crime Always Pays
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          'What'll I tell Ted, he asks where you are?'

          'Tell him I met a guy, a holiday romance, I'm thinking of staying away. Retiring.'

          'So he can blame you for what happened Frank.'

          'They pay for the privilege,' Doyle said, 'a sweet little redundancy package, they can say whatever they want.'

          'It won't be the same without you,' Sparks said, wistful.

          'That was the main problem,' Doyle said. 'It was always the fucking same.'

 

 

 

 

 

Melody

 

Mel dug down to the bottom of the Louis Vuitton to the pink bra, unfolded it and took out Ray's passports. Found the Israel one just as a tappity-tap came at her door.

          'Coming,' she called, sucking in her belly to tuck the passport into her pants, that being one of the last places, she hoped, Ray'd want to look.

          But it was Sleeps at the door, squeezed into a suit, saying, 'Madge told me where to find you. I can come back if it's a bad time.'

          Mel held the door open. 'All I can offer you is coffee,' she said.

          'That's okay, coffee'd be good right now. Black.'

          Mel got the kettle going and then came and sat opposite him, Sleeps twitching his knees to one side to allow her get between the twin beds. 'Where's Rossi?' she said.

          'Probably halfway to Crete, doing the breast-stroke. The wolf wasn't too happy to see him.'

          'But he's okay?'

          'Still in one piece.'

          The kettle boiled. Mel made a couple of coffees and brought them over, sat facing him again, their knees almost touching. 'So what happened?' she said.

          'Nothing much.'

          'Where's Niko?'

          'He's uh, gone.'

          'Gone?'

          'Gone.'

          'Should I ask where he's gone?'

          'This is good coffee,' Sleeps said. 'Is it instant?'

          'Yeah. But the good instant.'

          'I can believe it.' Sleeps sipped some more coffee, said, 'Uh, Mel? I just want --'

          'There's something you should know, Gary.'

          'What's that?'

          'You're a nice guy. I mean, you're nice.'

          'So I'm finishing last, that it?'

          'That's not what I'm getting at. It's more to do with, um …'

          'You being in the family way?'

          Mel stared. 'How'd you know?'

          'I just guessed.'

          'When?'

          'It wasn't just one thing,' Sleeps said. 'It was gradual.'

          'So why're you here?'

          Sleeps shrugged. 'I got a proposal.'

          'A proposal?'

          'Not the marrying kind. The business kind.'

          Mel, surprised to find herself a little disappointed, bought herself some time. 'Aren't they one and the same thing?'

          'One step at a time, Mel. Okay?'

 

 

 

 

 

Karen

 

Rossi said, 'You never gave me a chance, girl. Even before I got out you believed I'd be the same as going in.'

          Karen licked the ball of her thumb getting ready to count out sixty grand onto the toilet seat, the stash she'd ripped off when Rossi was inside, this being the deal Terry and Madge'd brokered, fair's fair. Karen perched on the edge of the bath. 'Believing it,' Karen said, 'because you were the exact same coming out twice before. A deadbeat waste of space.'

          'Three's the charm.'

          'Rossi, you took Anna's eye out with a fork. Charm that.'

          'Okay, but she took my ear. Like it says in the Bible, an eye for, y'know, an ear.'

          Karen put the money down and composed herself. 'Rossi,' she said, 'I pissed away ten years of my life on a miserable string of piss like you on the very dubious basis that you weren't at least my father, the bastard battered my mother to death, doing it slow --'

'Taking, yeah,' Rossi said, 'fourteen years to do it. I know. You think I don't know the difference between a woman and a hound?'

'It's the same principle,' Karen said. 'Cruel's cruel.'

'You're talking principles now? You rip off my stash, the Ducati, my fuckin .44, and you're lecturing 
me
 on ethics?'

'That was different.'

'See, Karen, it's always different when it's you. You don't see that?'

Karen, in the last week, had heard the same argument three ways, first from Madge, then Ray, now Rossi. And, okay, she had to admit she'd been pleasantly surprised Rossi'd stepped up for her with Niko, especially with an empty gun, no way Rossi was taking that kind of chance for anyone five years ago.

'You're saying you've changed,' she said, 'is that it?'

Rossi shrugged. 'Maybe not by as much as you need, but headed that way, sure. Smart enough,' he said, 'to ask for a second chance, you don't have any better offers coming in from Ray, the guy's running off with his pet cop.'

'A 
second
 chance?'

'A fourth chance, okay. Let's not get hung up on detail here, lose the romance.'

'You're tripping,' Karen said. 'Is that it? Show me your eyes.'

'I haven't had anything harder'n a beer in three days,' Rossi said. 'Ask Sleeps you don't believe me.' He said, 'This sober thing, I dunno, it's like a whole different kind of fucked up.'

Karen licked the ball of her thumb again, counted out the sixty gees. Picked up the bundle and handed it across.

'Not a chance,' she said. 'You kidding me? You were the last guy on 
earth
, I'd rip off my own arm and beat you to death.'

Rossi tucked the bundle away, then shrugged. 'Can't be Mills and Boon every day, right? You take care, Dollface.'

He opened the door.

'Rossi?'

He paused, looked back. 'What?'

'This FARCO Terry's maybe thinking about backing. What's the deal there?'

 

 

 

 

 

Ray

 

'Just sit here hoping they won't come looking,' Pyle said, 'you're never gonna know when they'll come at you. Am I right?'

          'You got balls,' Ray said. 'I'll give you that.'

          'Me? I'll be the good guy, I'm worried about Niko. Hey, anyone seen him? He was due on the island, never showed.' He sucked some frappé through a straw, watched the ferry reverse in. 'I mean, who saw him here except us?'

          'You think Johnny'll play ball?'

          'I don't know, man. He does or he doesn't.'

          'But you're not thinking of zipping him on the off-chance he mightn't.'

          'I got a feeling, Ray, it's not Amsterdam, but the island life, I think Johnny'll adapt. You got the sun, good food, cute chicks … '

          'It wasn't enough for you.'

          Pyle stood up, shouldered his duffel bag. 'Johnny hasn't been where I been.' He shook his head, then said, 'Y'know, I get back here, I'll be needing a guy can handle himself.'

          'Appreciate the offer, man. I'll think about it.'

          'Do that.' He held out his fist. Ray touched knuckles.

          He ordered another latte and watched Pyle board the ferry, the engines churning the sea to foam. A delicate rosé-fingered sky, the sun stirring.

The ferry was halfway out into the bay when Doyle came strolling into the square, shades on, hair shining. Ray stood and waved until she saw him beckoning her on.

She stopped, put a hand on her hip. Crook'd a finger at him.

Ray shrugged and stood up, called the waitress. 'You mind if I get that latte to go?' he said.

 

 

 

 

 

Madge

 

Terry in the wing-backed armchair, the potted palm behind, nodded along while Mel carved shapes out of the air with her hands, the girl in full spate.

          'I mean, we couldn't just do 
Brokeback
 again. Besides,' she said, glancing across at Sleeps, 'the guys are straight.' Sleeps nodded. 'So it'd be like 
Brokeback
meets 
Thelma and Louise,
' she said, 'maybe a touch of Butch and Sundance.'

'
Thunderbolt and Lightfoot
,' Sleeps said.

'But sexy.'

          'So it's a buddy-buddy movie,' Terry said, 'without the touchy-feely crap.'

'We could do it that way,' Mel said. 'I mean, I'm seeing Col Farrell and Brad, we get picked up by one of the majors, get ourselves a proper budget. And Col's done 
Alexander
, Brad the guy in 
Troy
, walks around in a skirt all day polishing his pecs. So yeah, homoerotic is do-able, for sure.'

          'But it wouldn't have to be.'

          'Nothing 
has
 to be, Terry. It's a movie.'

          Madge in the other wing-backed armchair had a sip of Cristal. 'This budget you're talking about. How far would a million-five get you?'

          'About halfway up Brad's little toe. But, you had that kind of seed capital they call it, you'd open a lot of doors. Impress investors with your commitment, you're putting your own money on the line.'

          'There's also,' Terry observed, 'the tax-breaks. Like, you put up the first million and a half, suck some people in, by the time it all gets washed out you've staked half a mill, maybe less. A million back before the first camera rolls.'

          'You've done it?' Madge asked Terry.

          'Not yet.'

          'How come, if it's that easy?'

          'I don't know,' Terry said. 'Maybe I've just been waiting for the right script to come along.'

          'What's it called?' Madge asked Mel.

          Mel cleared her throat and held up her hands like she was framing the title. '
Beautiful Losers
,' she said.

          'Nice,' Terry said. 'But you know what I like too? 
Crime Always --
'

          There came a knock at the door. Mel looked at Sleeps, who shrugged.

          'Rossi and Karen,' Terry said, getting up, 'haggling the split.'

          He opened the door. Two uniformed Greek cops stood there. One of them looked at the bellboy, standing to one side. The bellboy nodded.

'That's him,' he said, and tucked a twenty into his breast pocket.

BOOK: Crime Always Pays
4.83Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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