Crimson Echo (19 page)

“This is nice.” I whispered. It was about thirty degrees outside, but with him so near it felt like the middle of August.

“I told you so.” He smirked, turning me around so that I could face him. “I’m glad you agreed to come up here with me.”

“So am I.” I smiled, resting my head against his chest.

“Come, let’s sit.” He pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders, which only left him wearing a light, cotton t-shirt. “You’re freezing.”

“I’m okay,” I disagreed. “But you’ll catch a cold for sure if you don’t put your coat back on.”

“On the contrary,” he smirked taking a seat against the tower. “I can’t get sick, it’s virtually impossible.”

I sat down between his legs and leaned back against his chest. “What does that mean?”

“Nothing, just forget about it.” He shook his head in earnest and then scanned my face with his eyes. “Your lips are practically turning purple.” He added.

          
And with that, he slowly leaned down— his breathing slightly elevated and his fingers running along the length of my jaw. My heart raced as his lips drew nearer to mine. I tried to control my own breathing as the anticipation grew for him to kiss me. Eventually, though it seemed like it took years, his warm lips parted slightly and met mine.

             He planted a slow
series of butterfly kisses on my lips and then his mouth moved up my jaw to my ear and then back down my neck. Slowly he made his way back to my lips as his hands tangled in my hair. There was an urgency, a longing coming from him that I didn’t quite understand— he had surely done this many times. It was my first kiss and I didn’t want it to end, but as all things do, it ended abruptly.

I pulled away to look at him, trying to catch my breath. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m trying to control myself. You make it very hard at times for me to stay focused.” He hung his head and sucked in a breath.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to. If it’s any consolation you have the same effect on me.” I smiled apologetically. 

“That doesn’t help,” he laughed quietly. “But it’s good to know.”

“Can I tell you something?” I asked, trying to smooth over the tension.

“Of course, you know you can tell me anything.”

“And you won’t laugh?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. What’s on your mind?”

“Well,” I hesitated. My heart began to beat faster in my chest. “I… I think… I’m falling in love with you.”

“Why would I laugh about something like that?” He looked me right in the eyes now, his mood serious. His lips turned up slightly to form an almost unnoticeable smile. “I would never laugh about such matters of the heart. Don’t you remember what I told you that first day in the library? Everyone just wants to be loved and accepted— you and I are no different.”

            I noticed he didn’t express any feeling for me and it stung. I don’t know if I had expected him to say it back
or not, but I wanted to hear it— to know he felt the same way for me as I did for him. If he didn’t feel the same way I would feel like a fool and I needed to know more than anything in that moment that he felt something, anything.

           
He must have sensed the vulnerability in my eyes as I tried to think of something to say. He leaned down and brushed my forehead with his lips and let them linger there for an immeasurable amount of time and then he spoke softly, barely above a whisper. 

“You know how strongly I feel for you, don’t you?” He didn’t wait for me to answer. “From the first day I saw you I knew you were the one for me. I would move heaven and earth to just be near you, to have you look at me like you are right now.”

I averted my eyes away from his, but said nothing.

“And so this is it, me telling you I love you here on a water tower in the freezing cold.” He brushed through my hair with his fingers.

“And here I am completely and undeniably in love with you, under your spell and I don’t want to be freed.”           

          
Kane’s eyes became alarmed and the guard that he had finally let down seemed like it was ready to be hoisted right back up. He sighed and then shook his head. “I know I’ve been kind of… shifty and sometimes evasive, but I have my reasons. I know that it frustrates you and I’m sorry for that, but this is uncharted territory for me. I’m trying to do my best here, I really am.”

“Kane, you’re doing fine. Just relax. I’ve never been in a relationship either. We’ll figure this out together, okay?” I turned
completely around to give him my full attention.

“I feel like I’m not giving you all of me because I’m not being completely honest with you and I’m tired of all the secrets. I just want you to know the real me.”

            I knew there was something he was hiding since the first day that we spoke and I knew in time he would have to open up to me or we wouldn’t work out. I struggled to be patient about it— it was not easy by any means, but I had to let him come to terms with it and tell me when he was ready. The seconds seemed to progress like hours as I waited for the bomb he would inevitably drop on me. My heart rate spiked as I imagined what it could be.

“I want to get to know the real you, but you have to let me in.”

“What if you don’t like what you see?” His tone was bare of all emotion.

“What if I do, then what? Will you still push me away?”

“I’ll let you decide.”

           
His eyes were steely gray as he stared down at me. Something was different. His expression was slightly altered in a way that didn’t make sense— it was sadness. As I examined his face trying to figure out what I could say to take this anguish away, I had a flash— a memory that I didn’t even know I owned, a memory of a tragic day that I had subconsciously forced down into the dark recesses of my mind. I hadn’t realized it at the time, but my dreams were trying to tell me something and I refused to listen.

“It was you!” I
accused. “It was you the whole time!”

“What was me?” He looked confused.

“In the basement of the school, you were there. I remember it now.” The words came out in a jumbled heap of allegations that hurled from my lips.

“I… I… I don’t know what you want me to say.”
He hung his head.

“
I want you to tell me the truth for once!” I yelled. “Kane, what’s going on?”

                                                       
      Chapter Eight

                                                   
        A Minor Setback

            Kane paused, looking around uncomfortably as I waited for an explanation.
It was clear that the subject wasn’t going to be easy for him to discuss. I almost felt bad for the way I had demanded him to tell me the truth, but if we didn’t get it out in the open how could we move on?

“The truth,” he sighed
, hiding his face in his palms. “The truth
is
I was there that day at your school.”

“
Why were you there that day?” I stared at him wide eyed, trying to understand.

“The specifics aren’t
necessarily important right now. What I will say is, I was in the area and I felt drawn to something and I had to find out what it was. When I followed the pull into the school I found that it was you I was being drawn to.”

“How is that even possible?”
I eyed him, trying to wrap my head around what he was saying.

“It’s hard to explain.” He looked up and his eyes burned right through me. “
It’s like we’re connected somehow. What all do you remember about that day?”

I hesitated as I tried to recall all the minute details of the day. “I don’t remember much. I was in the basement and I fired up the kiln for an art project. I must have passed out because when I woke up I was in the hospital. The nurse on duty told me that I had third degree burns, but two angels appeared swathed in a blue light and healed me. I’ll never forget the way she clutched her rosary and prayed in a foreign language. They said it was all a freak accident. The kiln must have gotten too hot and exploded and I just happened to be too close.” I paused to take a breath.
“And that’s all I can remember.”

Kane shifted nervously, I assumed the story made him uncomfortable.
“You don’t remember anything after you turned on the kiln?”

“Nothing until I woke up in the hospital.” I sighed and then I decided to take a chance and question what he knew about that day, surely he would be up for sharing. “How come no one saw you take me out of the school?”

“I had to be careful, what would they have thought if they had seen some random stranger carrying you out of the front door? Someone would have called law enforcement on me, maybe charged me with kidnapping.” He smiled jokingly.

“Why did you save me?” If he was being truthful, now was the time to ask. “I mean you didn’t even know me. Why risk your life too?”

“It was worth it, don’t you think? If I hadn’t, we wouldn’t be sitting here together… in love.”

           
I shivered for a few different reasons: one being the way he said ‘love’ and two, the cold air that tickled up my spine. His large hands enveloped mine and instantly warmed them. His sweet, hot breath on my neck was wreaking havoc on my senses as well as my ability to think clearly and Kane knew that— he used it to his advantage. He stared up, distracted at the sky now— his eyes far off in the distance.

“We should leave now.” Kane pulled himself to his feet and helped me up.

“Why?” I asked as I took his hand.

“
It’s about to rain,” he pointed up at the gray sky. The clouds began rolling in, covering the sun and shielding any light that tried to make it past the thick veil. Lightening struck not far away and startled me. “See, it’s time to go.”

“Okay, I believe you.”
I agreed, rushing to the side of the water tower. I leaned over the railing and took in the sights one more time before we had to leave. Within seconds raindrops began to fall from the now blackened sky. Kane looked at me like I had lost my marbles as I enjoyed the splattering of water hitting my cheeks.

“
Tristan, we must go now. If we don’t leave soon the ladder will become slippery and I will have to carry you down.”

“I’m ready,” I sighed and turned to look at Kane. His eyes r
eluctantly left mine to stare at the ladder— he nodded at me to go first.

“Be careful, please.” He held my hand as I began to climb down the first few steps.
He waited patiently at the top of the tower until I climbed down twenty or so rungs. “How are you doing? Are you okay?”

“I’m doing fine.” I yelled over the wind t
hat suddenly started to pick up along with the rain that now began to pelt my back and neck. Nervously, deliberately, I kept my eyes from straying down toward the ground, knowing if I looked down just once it would be over for me— the panic would set in and the trembling would take over involuntarily. 

            I kept myself at a steady, even pace as I watched Kane ease himself over the first red crosspiece.
He swung over the railing like a monkey, but with the intensity and grace of a tiger—completely sure of himself. Everything came so easy and natural to him— I felt a twinge of jealousy at the thought.

“How are you doing down there?” He asked again, always thoughtful
, even when completely drenched.

“I’m still doing okay, don’t worry so much.”
I tried to reassure him, but I was beginning to doubt myself. “This was such a bad idea,” I thought out loud. I was already feeling fatigued from the extra effort I was putting in just to make sure I didn’t slip and fall. My arms were on fire and my legs were screaming even louder at that point.

            The fear of tiring out too soon crept into my mind and I threw my limbs
into overdrive, chasing step after step. Kane was right about the steps getting slippery, but I tried to focus mainly on getting closer to the ground. The way down seemed to take double the time it did going up. I continued to hurry down the ladder hoping to be on solid ground soon.

     
      As I stepped down and reached for the next bar my foot only touched air. It was foolish on my part for being in such a hurry in the first place. I was so engrossed in reaching the bottom that I didn’t notice my frozen fingers slip from the wet bar. I grasped at the railing in a sheer panic and gasped as I felt the stinging pain coming from my forehead. I had hit the bar when I slipped and it caused me to lose my grip of reality momentarily.

“Kane,” I choked out as the wi
nd beat me from every direction.

           I expected more finality to it— my death. I waited for the slew of images that were sure to follow— my life f
lashing before my eyes, glimpses of my most cherished memories: my childhood, my friends, my family. But it never came. I closed my eyes and waited for the climatic rush of fear and sadness to envelop me like a strait-jacket — nothing, I felt nothing.