Cross My Heart (7 page)

Allison shot her a sidelong glance as she slid behind the wheel and turned the key in the ignition. “She said he was amazing in bed but a little detached. Like he’s not really a passionate person.”

Jenna felt a sudden rush of anger. “I don’t suppose it ever occurred to her that
she
might have been the problem? With the right woman, he—”

She stopped and looked at Allison. “Wipe that grin off your face. You used to look exactly like that when we were kids and you thought you scored some big victory.”

Allison kept smiling. “I just think you’re pretty protective of a guy you’re not interested in.”

Protective? Was she being protective?

Yes…and defensive, too. A sure sign that she was feeling vulnerable. That something had gotten under her skin.

Jenna thought about that little tug on her belly ring, gentle and yet subtly possessive, that had sent desire stabbing through her. She remembered Michael’s hand on her bare stomach, spinning a thread of want that spiraled through her whole body.

Detached? There had been nothing detached about it.

“You’ll be seeing Denise at the fundraiser tonight, by the way. She’s one of the speakers.”

Jenna shouldn’t have cared. But in spite of herself, she was curious. What kind of woman could think Michael was cold?

She’d only known him for two days, and she’d seen the warmth in him.

Not to mention the fact that he’d managed to raise her temperature several degrees. She thought of those dizzying moments on her patio and felt blood rush to her cheeks.

To a woman who didn’t want to get attached, Dr. Michael Stone could be a dangerous man.

But he definitely wasn’t cold.

Chapter Four

Michael was reading a medical journal in the living room, sitting by a window that gave him a perfect view of Jenna’s house. When he heard the sound of a truck pulling up next door, he looked up.

Allison had parked under a street light and he could see the two sisters clearly, talking and laughing for a minute before Jenna got out and slammed the door behind her. She waved as Allison pulled away.

She didn’t even glance at his house before going inside her own. He, on the other hand, had been sitting by this window for the past hour.

He was acting like a jealous lover. And from the moment he’d left Jenna on the patio, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her.

He kept replaying those last few minutes in his mind. The small of her back. The indentation of her spine, dipping down to her slender waist. The curve of her hips, and the glimpse of smooth, rounded flesh when she’d tugged her shorts down an inch or two.

That had nearly killed him. Even now, hours later, his body hardened when he thought of it.

Her tattoo was beautiful—musical notes dancing their way across her flawless skin. He’d touched her before he could stop himself, tracing over the elegant black marks, and she hadn’t pulled away.

Then she’d turned over. The sight of the silver ring in her belly button had shot straight to his groin. He’d felt a rush of possessiveness, something primal and primitive that he’d never felt for another woman.

He’d tugged on the little piece of metal before stroking her bare stomach, and her muscles had tightened beneath his fingers.

He’d looked into her eyes, and what he saw stunned him. He hadn’t really believed that Jenna Landry could be attracted to him—not like he was to her.

Then her sister had arrived, and he’d done the only thing he could do: gotten the hell away and prayed that neither woman had noticed the erection straining against his jeans.

He took a cold shower, which calmed his body for all of five minutes. Until he looked out a window to see Jenna leaving her house in a flame-colored dress, her dark gypsy hair floating loose around her shoulders.

She was going to the oncology wing fundraiser in that dress. He thought of the single men who’d be there, seeing her like that, and the possessiveness that had rocked him on her patio swept through him again, leaving him shaking.

He got a grip on himself and went into his study, hoping to calm himself down by working on one of his current research projects.

Compiling data had always been a soothing activity for him, but tonight he couldn’t stay focused. He sat back in his desk chair and dragged a hand through his hair.

What he needed to do was apply logic to the problem. That would put his feelings into perspective.

Jenna was leaving in August. She’d made it clear she didn’t want to get involved with anyone while she was here.

Which left them with three options.

The most obvious was for him to behave like a rational adult instead of a lust-crazed teenager, and ignore his attraction to her. That would be the intelligent thing to do, and Michael considered himself an intelligent man.

Then there was the option Claire was hoping for—the Disney fantasy option. Sweep Jenna off her feet and convince her to stay. Which would involve what? Falling in love? Getting married? Living happily ever after?

It sounded ridiculous even in his head. And even if, by some miracle, things did head in that direction, in the end they’d both regret it. He’d never been able to make a woman happy, and as much as he already liked Jenna, they were completely different people.

He and Denise hadn’t made it, and they were both in medicine. They spoke the same language and wanted the same things—or so he’d thought, anyway.

So what kind of chance would he and Jenna have? He remembered the song lyrics she’d written down for Claire. He could appreciate their power, and the restless passion of the mind that had created them, but only from a distance. He didn’t feel the kinds of things that Jenna felt. On an essential level, she was unintelligible to him.

So option two was out.

Then there was the third option. They could act on their attraction and have an affair. A no-strings, no-commitment affair.

He wanted that so much it was hard to think straight—and he could always think straight, no matter what the circumstances.

He couldn’t believe he was even considering it. He took his relationships seriously, like everything else in his life. He’d never gone into one with a built-in expiration date.

If he and Jenna got together, it would be because he couldn’t control himself around her any more. A problem he’d never faced in his life. If there was one quality in himself he’d always been able to count on, it was his self-control.

He’d gotten to that point in his thought process when the phone rang. It was Jim Healy, calling to ask if Michael could cover his shift at the free clinic tomorrow so he could observe a rare procedure at the hospital.

“I know you’re on vacation, but no one else can do it. You know I’m thinking about specializing in neurosurgery.”

“Yeah, I know. Don’t worry, you’re covered. You owe me, but you’re covered.”

He heard Jim’s sigh of relief over the phone line. “I do owe you, man. I owe you big.” There was a burst of something that sounded like applause, and Michael remembered he was at the hospital fundraiser tonight. The same fundraiser Jenna was at.

“How’s it going tonight?”

“Fine. Same old same old, you know? Your ex did a good job.”

“Yeah, Denise is perfect at this kind of thing.”

She really did make a good dinner speaker—funny, intelligent, compassionate. She’d been all those things when she’d broken up with him, too.

“You’re everything I could ever want in a man, Michael. Everything except madly in love with me.”

“That’s not true. You know I love you.”

“But you’re not
madly
in love. If you are, say it. Say, Denise, I’m madly in love with you.”

And he hadn’t been able to—not even to save his relationship. The words had stuck in his throat.

Suddenly, for some reason, he imagined saying them to Jenna.

He really was losing his mind.

“Any gorgeous babes there tonight?” he couldn’t help asking.

“Yeah, it’s a pretty good night, babe-wise. Denise looks awesome, of course. Luz and Sara, too. And that new obstetrician, what’s her name? Caroline. She’s very, very hot. And Allison Landry looks great, but I just found out she’s off the market. Luckily she made up for it by bringing her sister.”

Michael’s hand tightened on the phone. “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah. Jenna Landry. She’s kind of a local celebrity. She was in a rock band, the Red Mollies. I saw her in concert once, which you’d think would be a pretty good pick up line, but no dice. She’s been shooting me down all night. I’m trying not to take it personally.”

Thank God for small favors. At least he wouldn’t have to listen to his friend describe a date with Jenna in vivid detail. The thought made something thick and dark settle in his stomach.

“I should probably get back,” Jim was saying. “So, we’re cool for tomorrow?”

“Yeah, we’re cool.” As much as he didn’t want to cancel his plans with Jenna, he couldn’t let the clinic down—they were always busy on the weekends. And Jim really should observe that surgery.

He knew Jenna would understand. They’d talked about getting together a few times while Claire was here, so they’d be able to reschedule. It would be okay.

Okay with Jenna, almost certainly. Okay with Claire? Not so much. His daughter made that crystal clear when she came back an hour later.

She’d had a great time, and actually sat down in the living room to tell him about Ellie and the movie and the window shopping they’d done at the mall. If he’d waited until tomorrow to break his news, at least they could have had a nice evening together.

But he hadn’t waited, and Claire had been furious with him and stormed upstairs. Michael, as usual, had no idea what the best response would be. Go up there after her or leave her alone?

He took the easy path and stayed downstairs.

Maybe it was a good thing Claire had blown up at him, and that he’d thought about his breakup with Denise. He’d needed a reminder that he would never understand women, and that he was constitutionally incapable of giving them what they wanted.

Angela had been the first one to teach him that.

What she had said to him was eerily similar to what Denise would say a decade later. Not that she’d accused him of not being in love with her. Angela had never questioned his feelings, at least as far as they went.

Or, as she put it, as far as he’d let them go.

“What the hell does that mean?”

She’d struggled to explain. “I know you want me to be happy, but what I really want is to know that you need me. That you can’t live without me. I never feel like I have anything to give you, Michael. You’re so complete in yourself. I didn’t even know I was missing something in our marriage until…”

That’s when it had come out. The affair she’d been having for six months, with a man who, apparently, had been able to give her whatever it was she’d been missing.

They divorced quickly, and for the most part, amicably. Their friends and family were impressed by how well he handled it. They praised his unselfish willingness to let Angela go, when he must be dying inside.

And he should have been. But even though he loved her, he never felt like he was dying inside. Whatever emotional lack in him had caused his divorce also made it bearable.

Now, as he stood at his living room window watching the lights come on in the house next door, he realized he’d made his decision. No matter how much he wanted Jenna, he wouldn’t act on his attraction.

Logic was against it. And in the end, logic still trumped emotion—and the crazy, primitive urges that assailed him when Jenna was near.

He stood at the window for a minute or two longer, and then, just when he was about to go upstairs and get ready for bed, her front door opened and she came out in her running clothes.

Why was she going out at this hour?

She’d seemed fine a few minutes ago, but the only reason he could think of for her to go jogging late at night was to relieve stress, or work through some kind of problem.

The only way to find out was to ask.

***

Jenna had just slipped on her headphones when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She spun around, and her heart skipped a beat when she saw Michael standing there.

Her face flamed. All she could think about was his hand on her bare skin, that afternoon on her patio.

Friends-and-neighbors, she’d decided on the drive home. That was definitely the way to go here. So there would be no thoughts of his bare skin, or her bare skin, or…

She backed away a couple of steps and took off her headphones.

“Wow, you surprised me. Sorry I jumped.”

“I’m sorry I scared you,” he said. His voice was warm and deep, like melting chocolate. “When I saw you out here I was worried something might be wrong.”

“Wrong?”

“Well, it’s pretty late for a run.” He paused. “I only exercise outside my normal routine if I’m feeling stressed about something, and I guess I projected that onto you. Sorry. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. And I know this is obnoxious, but I wanted to remind you that it’s dangerous to go running at night. You’re not wearing anything white or reflective, and you—”

He paused again, and Jenna knew it was because she couldn’t keep the smile off her face. “You’re laughing at me,” he said, but he didn’t sound offended. “You’re going to remind me that you’re a big girl and you can take of yourself.”

“Actually, I was just thinking what a nice guy you are. And you were right, too. About the stress. I had a good time at the fundraiser tonight, but I also had this weird moment of insecurity. It’s not a big deal or anything. I just…felt like running, I guess.”

He looked at her for a moment, and then gestured back towards his house. “Would you keep me company for a while instead? If you go for a jog now I’ll just worry about you. And I have a favor to ask, about tomorrow.”

The truth was, she didn’t really feel like running any more. “All right,” she said, and the two of them went up his walkway and climbed the steps to his big wraparound porch.

Michael led the way to his porch swing and took a seat at one end. Jenna sat at the other end, careful to put plenty of space between them. She was comfortable with her decision to keep things on a friend-and-neighbor basis, but there was no sense in tempting fate. Especially when the night air seemed to wrap them in a soft cocoon and the simple act of meeting Michael’s eyes made her feel warm all over.