Crossfire 01 Bared to You (33 page)

“Okay. Here goes.” I took a deep breath before starting, feeling dizzy from the elevated rate of my pulse. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been so nervous or sick to my stomach.

“My mother and father never married. I really don’t know too much about how they met, because neither of them talks about it. I know my mom came from money. Not as much as she married into, but more than most people have. She was a debutante. Had the whole white dress and presentation thing. Getting pregnant with me was a mistake that got her disowned, but she kept me.”

I looked down into my glass. “I really admire her for that. There was a lot of pressure for her to make the baby—make
me
—go away, but she went through with the pregnancy anyway. Obviously.”

His fingers sifted through my shower-damp hair. “Lucky me.”

I caught his fingers and kissed his knuckles, then held his hand in my lap. “Even with a kid in tow, she was able to land herself a millionaire. He was a widower with a son just two years older than me, so I think they both thought they’d found the perfect arrangement. He traveled a lot and was rarely home, and my mom spent his money and took over raising his son.”

“I understand the need for money, Eva,” he murmured. “I have to have it, too. I need the power of it. The security.”

Our eyes met. Something passed between us with that small admission. It made it easier for me to say what came next.

“I was ten the first time my stepbrother raped me—”

The stem of his glass snapped in his hand. He moved so swiftly he was a blur, catching the bowl of his goblet against his thigh before it spilled its contents.

I scrambled to my feet when he rose to his. “Did you cut yourself? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” he bit out. He went into the kitchen and threw the broken glass away, shattering it further. I set my own glass down carefully, my hands shaking. I heard cupboards opening and closing. A few minutes later Gideon returned with a tumbler of something darker in his hand.

“Sit down, Eva.”

I stared at him. His frame was rigid, his eyes icy cold. He scrubbed a hand over his face and said more gently, “Sit down…please.”

My weakened knees gave out and I sat on the edge of the sofa, pulling the robe tighter around me.

Gideon remained standing, taking a large swallow of whatever was in his hand. “You said the first time. How many times were there?”

I took conscious breaths, trying to calm myself. “I don’t know. I lost count.”

“Did you tell anyone? Did you tell your mother?”

“No. My God, if she’d known, she would’ve gotten me out of there. But Nathan made sure I was too afraid to tell her.” I tried to swallow past a tight, dry throat and winced at the painful sandpapery burn. When my voice came again, it was barely a whisper. “There was a time when it got so bad I almost told her anyway, but he knew. Nathan could tell I was close. So he broke my cat’s neck and left her on my bed.”

“Jesus Christ.” His chest was heaving. “He wasn’t just fucked up, he was insane. And he was touching you…
Eva
.”

“The servants had to know,” I went on numbly, staring at my twisted hands. I just wanted to get it over with, to get it all out so I could put it back into the box in my mind where I forgot about it in my day-to-day life. “The fact that they didn’t say anything either told me they were scared, too. They were grownups and they didn’t say a word. I was a child. What could I do if they wouldn’t do anything?”

“How did you get out?” he asked hoarsely. “When did it end?”

“When I was fourteen. I thought I was having my period, but there was too much blood. My mother panicked and took me to the emergency room. I’d had a miscarriage. In the course of the exam they found evidence of…other trauma. Vaginal and anal scarring—”

Gideon set his glass down on the end table with a harsh thud.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling like I might be sick. “I’d spare you the details, but you need to know what someone might dig up. The hospital reported the abuse to child services. It’s all a matter of public record, which has been sealed, but there are people who know the story. When my mom married Stanton, he went back and tightened those seals, paid out in return for nondisclosure agreements…stuff like that. But you have a right to know that this could come out and embarrass you.”

“
Embarrass
me?” he snapped, vibrating with rage. “Embarrassment isn’t on the list of what I’d feel.”

“Gideon—”

“I would destroy the career of any reporter who wrote about this, and then I’d dismantle the publication that ran the piece.” He was so cold with fury, he was icy. “I’m going to find the monster who hurt you, Eva, wherever he is, and I’m going to make him wish he was dead.”

A shiver moved through me, because I believed him. It was in his face. His voice. In the energy he exuded and his sharply honed focus. He wasn’t just dark and dangerous in his looks. Gideon was a man who got what he wanted, whatever it took.

I pushed to my feet. “He’s not worth the effort. Not worth your time.”

“
You
are. You’re worth it. Damn it. Goddamn it to hell.”

I moved closer to the fireplace, needing the warmth. “There’s also a money trail. Cops and reporters always follow the money. Someone may wonder why my mother left her first marriage with two million dollars, but her daughter from a previous relationship left with five.”

Without looking, I felt his sudden stillness. “Of course,” I went on, “that blood money’s probably grown to considerably more than that now. I won’t touch it, but Stanton manages the brokerage account I dumped it in and everyone knows he has the Midas touch. If you ever had any concern that I wanted your money—”

“Stop talking.”

I turned to face him. I saw his face, his eyes. Saw the pity and horror. But it was what I
didn’t
see that hurt the most.

It was my greatest nightmare realized. I’d feared that my past might negatively impact his attraction to me. I’d told Cary that Gideon might stay with me for all the wrong reasons. That he might stay by my side, but that I’d still—for all intents and purposes—lose him anyway.

And it seemed I had.

I
tightened the belt on my robe. “I’m going to get dressed and go.”

“What?” Gideon glared. “Go where?”

“Home,” I said, weary to the bone. “I think you need to digest all this.”

His arms crossed. “We can do that together.”

“I don’t think we can.” My chin lifted, grief overwhelming my shame and heartrending disappointment. “Not while you’re looking at me like you feel sorry for me.”

“I’m not made of fucking stone, Eva. I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t care.”

The emotions I’d run through since lunch coalesced into a searing pain in my chest and a cleansing burst of anger. “I don’t want your goddamn pity.”

He shoved both hands through his hair. “What the hell do you want, then?”

“You! I want you.”

“You have me. How many times do I have to tell you that?”

“Your words don’t mean shit when you can’t back them up. From the moment we met, you’ve been hot for me. You haven’t been able to look at me without making it damn clear you want to fuck my brains out. And that’s gone, Gideon.” My eyes burned. “That look…it’s gone.”

“You can’t be serious.” He stared at me as if I’d grown two heads.

“I don’t think you know how your desire makes me feel.” My arms wrapped around me, covering my breasts. I suddenly felt naked in the worst way. “It makes me feel beautiful. It makes me feel strong and alive. I—I can’t bear to be with you if you don’t feel that way about me anymore.”

“Eva, I…” His voice faded into silence. He was hard-faced and distant, his fists clenched at his sides.

I loosened the sash of my robe and shrugged the whole garment off me. “Look at me, Gideon. Look at my body. It’s the same one you couldn’t get enough of last night. The same one you were so desperate to get into that you took me to that damn hotel room. If you don’t want this anymore…if you don’t get hard looking at it—”

“Is this hard enough for you?” He broke the drawstring of his pants pushing them down to expose the heavy, thickly-veined length of his erection.

We both lunged at the same time, colliding. Our mouths slid over each other as he lifted me to wrap my legs around his hips. He stumbled to the couch and fell, catching our combined weight with one outstretched hand.

I sprawled beneath him, breathless and sobbing, while he slid to his knees on the floor and tongued my cleft. He was rough and impatient, lacking the finesse I’d become used to, and I loved that he was. Loved it more when he levered over me and shoved his cock into me. I wasn’t yet fully wet and the burn made me gasp, then his thumb was on my clit, rubbing in circles that had my hips churning.

“Yes,” I moaned, raking my nails down his back. He wasn’t icy anymore. He was on fire. “Fuck me, Gideon. Fuck me hard.”

“Eva.”
His mouth covered mine. He fisted my hair, holding me still as he lunged again and again, pounding hard and deep. He kicked off the armrest with one foot, powering into me, driving toward his orgasm with single-minded ferocity. “Mine…mine…mine…”

The rhythmic slap of his heavy balls against the curve of my buttocks and the harshness of his possessive litany drove me insane with lust. I felt myself quickening with every twinge of pain, felt my sex tightening with my growing arousal.

With a long, guttural groan he started coming, his flexing body quaking as he emptied himself inside me.

I held him as he climaxed, stroking his back, pressing kisses along his shoulder.

“Hold on,” he said roughly, pushing his hands beneath me and flattening my breasts against him.

Gideon pulled me up, and then sat down with me straddling his hips. I was slick from his orgasm, making it easy for him to push back inside me.