Crossing the Barrier (5 page)

Then he had seen her in the lunch line where she bumped into him. Her touch, however quick, did something to him, sent a shiver up his spine, and when those big gray eyes looked up at him, he had thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

He had hoped to have classes with her and get to know her, but he hadn’t had any until junior year. By then, they were running in different circles, and he never got the chance to talk to her.

Often, he had wondered what it would be like talking to her. When he had visited her the previous day, she had been everything he expected and then some, and the visit quickly became one of the least complicated moments of his life.

He hadn’t needed to pretend with her and he could actually
talk
to her. With Andrea, the girl Wes and Zoe were trying to match him with, he barely spoke. Andrea was too light and ditzy to discuss anything serious, and the few times he had tried to talk to her about things that interested him, her eyes glazed over. Malakai thought Andrea didn’t have any interest in hearing about other people if it didn’t directly relate to her. As for Lily, she had listened to whatever he wanted to say, and stayed focus and interested. She hadn’t been fazed by the flashiness that went with being a football player. She gave Malakai the impression she was interested in him, the person, and not his image or what it represented.

It was so refreshing. But he couldn’t say that to Wes.

“I heard about the girl you brought into the locker room yesterday. Who was she?”

Wes’s eyes were glued to his phone, and he was typing furiously. He hadn’t put the thing down since they sat at the table.

“Lily Morgan,” Malakai answered, his eyes fixed on his dinner.

The last thing Malakai needed was for Wes to know he had thought about Lily nonstop since visiting her in the hospital. He wasn’t ready to face the complications that would go with that.

Wes looked up at him, dropped his phone on the table, and laughed as if Malakai had told the funniest joke in the world.

“Lily Morgan? You mean band geek Lily Morgan? Didn’t know you were into geeks. Why help her?”

Malakai looked up from his dinner, frowning. He didn’t like that Wes knew her; he didn’t like it one bit.

“I bumped into her. I couldn’t very well leave her there. You know her?” he asked, grabbing his Coke.

“Yeah, well Zoe knows her,” he answered with a shrug. Wes glanced at his phone again but didn’t pick it up this time.

Malakai liked the idea of Zoe knowing Lily even less, but he kept on eating, pretending he wasn’t bothered by it in the least.

“You like her!” Wes accused, leaning forward.

Malakai looked up at Wes again, his cheeseburger in one hand, a fry in the other.

“What makes you say that? I mean, she’s pretty and all, but why would you think I like her?”

“The way you try so hard to pretend you don’t.”

Malakai shrugged again and resumed eating. In reality, he didn’t know how he felt about Lily. She was pretty, she was interesting, and she was confusing. He could not explain the strange pull he felt toward her. He only knew she made him feel like he wasn’t alone anymore, like someone was there for him, as opposed to Andrea, who left him indifferent.

“Man, the girl’s geek territory. She’s got nothing in common with us. She’d seriously cramp your style,” Wes said, leaning forward.

“Whoa! My getting her help doesn’t mean I’m dating her. Until yesterday, I didn’t even know her name,” Malakai said, leaning back and raising his hands in protest.

“Yes, but you went to see her after practice, didn’t you? Will you see her again?”

“Probably at school, like the other nine hundred students in our class,” Malakai answered, leaning forward again and grabbing his burger.

“Malakai, don’t. You don’t need the drama. The team doesn’t need the drama. Besides, there’s Andrea. You and her, you click. You guys are meant to be together.”

Malakai looked at Wes while slowly putting down his burger on his plate again. That was something Zoe would have said, not the Wes he remembered.

And if Wes believed it, he was totally blind.

If one thing was certain, Malakai and Andrea did
not
click. While Andrea might have felt something for him, he felt nothing for her other than friendship. The spark, the one that would make his heart race, wasn’t there.

“You’re drama free with Zoe, I suppose,” he said so quietly he wondered if Wes had heard.

Despite not liking Zoe, Malakai had always tried to be tolerant of her and supportive of Wes. Why wouldn’t Wes do the same for him?

Before Wes answered, the bell over the door rattled, and Malakai looked up.

“Hi, Malakai,” Andrea said with a huge smile and a small wave, making her way to their table as Zoe followed.

Malakai looked pointedly at Wes across from him. He should have known this new Wes would do something like that. This Wes was no longer the friend Malakai could depend on, the one who would want to do something stupid on a dare, the one who would want to hang out with the boys. This Wes only wanted to do Zoe’s bidding, and of course, this Wes wouldn’t have missed an occasion to throw Andrea at him.

And this Wes was grinning at him as if he were the cat who got the cream.

“Zoe and Andrea wanted to join us. I couldn’t say no,” he said, sliding over to make room for Zoe.

After a moment’s hesitation, Malakai moved over to let Andrea sit next to him. The two girls quickly ordered pancakes and began talking.

All throughout the remaining dinner, Andrea was her usual self: bubbly, fun, light, somewhat interesting, and a little naive. Malakai couldn’t help but compare her to Lily. Lily was fascinating, nice, but not light. Lily would read the
Smithsonian
like he did but not Andrea. Andrea was not into science and general knowledge like Lily. Andrea had no AP classes while Lily had mentioned she had at least four. Andrea wanted to go to community college while Lily…well, he didn’t know what Lily wanted; he would have to ask her if she would ever want to talk to him again.

The sun was setting when they finally paid their bill. As they walked outside, Malakai was immediately suffocated by the August heat and humidity of Texas. Despite his eagerness to be gone, he took the time to walk Andrea to her car, like he had been raised to do. Wes and Zoe looked at them with wide smiles on their faces, and Malakai was certain the news of his “going out” with Andrea would be all over social media by the end of the night.

“You’re going to the party?” Andrea asked, standing beside her open car door.

“No. We have practice tomorrow morning.”

“Wes is coming.”

He shrugged. While Wes may have lost interest, Malakai took football too seriously to follow down that path.

After final good-byes, Andrea got in her car and drove away.

As Malakai walked to his jeep, he sighed. This evening hadn’t gone at all like he had hoped.

He got into his jeep and wondered what to do now. He didn’t want to go to his empty apartment, especially since he had absolutely nothing to do there. If at least school had begun, he would have homework, but no. It would only start in a week. And it was Friday night. What was the chance someone wasn’t going to this stupid party?

Then he remembered David. The center was not into the party scene.

Malakai took out his phone, texted the center, and then threw the device on the dashboard. He retrieved his key and turned it in the ignition. He drove out of the parking lot and down the road to one of the few places where he could always find peace.

Five minutes later, he parked behind the school and got out of his jeep. Shoving his hands into his jeans pockets, he made his way to the football practice field, the smell of fresh laundry and wet grass floating in the air. Malakai would have rather gone to the stadium where the team usually played to soak in the feel of it, to visualize the real thing, but the place was locked, and he didn’t think it would be a good idea to get caught sneaking in. Regardless, this practice field was a place he knew well and loved.

Football was a major part of his life. It was the only thing he knew would be there the next day and the next. Malakai gave it his all, practicing and weight lifting six times a week, running an hour every day, and sometimes throwing the ball with his friends on Sundays. Even in the off-season, he kept up with the weight training and running.

Football was also a comfort to him. When he played, he was himself and forgot everything that was not the game, everything that was not his desire to do his best and win. Football gave him a sense of purpose, which he had lost after his friend’s death and hadn’t found anywhere else. It was his escape, his way to forget about everything that was wrong with his life, his way to get help when he couldn’t get it anywhere else and didn’t know how to ask for it. It had given him a sense of self-worth, which he would have never regained had his grandmother not forced him to play shortly after he and his father moved in with her.

According to the coaches, Malakai was one of the best wide receivers they had seen in years. He didn’t believe he was good enough to make it to the pros, but at least it was going to pay for college. South Texas may not be the greatest football team in its conference, but it was where he wanted to go because it had one of the best kinesiology programs in the southern United States.

Despite his excitement, his news was tarnished by the fact he didn’t have the benefit of talking the offer through with his father.

He made his way to the fifty-yard line and stood there, remembering the practices of the last few days with Wes and Tristan, the sophomore quarterback. He replayed in his mind every move he had made, every way he had gone wrong, and everything he had done right. He also remembered how his thoughts of Lily had hindered his ability to concentrate and practice at his normal level.

As he thought of her, he made his way to the twenty-yard line and looked at where the stands would be if he were at the regular stadium. The band would be sitting there, playing something, entertaining the crowd, giving the players some form of encouragement. He had always liked the way the band and the crowd helped him concentrate better. The noise was a way to drown out everything else but the game, and he had always welcomed it. It was not the case for all the players, but it was for him.

And Lily was a part of all that; she was a part of his own personal entertainment act. Malakai looked at the ground in front of him and remembered being with her again. He had been comfortable enough to tell her about his college offer, something he had pretty much kept to himself, but telling Lily had felt so…right.

He was looking at the stands again when he heard footsteps behind him. He turned and saw David making his way across the field, a football in his hand.

“’Sup?” David asked.

Malakai shrugged.

“You playing in jeans? In this heat?”

Malakai looked down at himself, then grinned at David.

“Give me a minute, will you?”

Malakai ran to his jeep to change. Two minutes later, they were throwing the ball around the field.

Chapter Eight

LILY

“
Lily, you’re awfully
quiet again,” Sandra said as they drove to school for their band practice the next Monday. “What’s wrong?”

Lily hesitated. “My shields aren’t back.”

“You’ll be fine,” Sandra said automatically.

Somehow she didn’t sound or feel convincing to Lily.

A few minutes later, they arrived at school, got out of the car, and made their way to the building. As she followed her friend, Lily felt the murmur of emotions scratch her brain. It was faint, as she was still fifty yards away from the door, but it was there, present, constant. As she got closer to the entrance, the murmur became increasingly insistent, increasingly uncomfortable.

Only a couple of hundred students were at school at the moment, and thinking about how it would be on a regular school day with thirty-five hundred students around made Lily want to run for her car and drive away as far and as fast as she could.

Lily was still trying to comprehend the enormity of her situation when she walked into the school and things went from bad to worse. All the emotions went from unpleasant to a downright assault on her senses, and her inability to make it stop made her realize how much trouble she really was in. If she reacted that way with so few students, her situation was definitely a lot worse than she originally thought.

As Lily walked through the door to the band hall, matters got even worse, if that was at all possible. The emotions of her bandmates felt like ants crawling all over her brain, ants that were viciously taking pieces of her mind, bites by little bites. With each step she took, the pain increased to the point of making her want to scream.

She had just brought her hand to her temple to try to squash the pain when Sandra appeared in front of her, frowning.

“What’s wrong?”

“I…I…” Lily took a step sideways as if something had tried to take a bigger bite of her already fragile mind. She then crossed her arms and held herself tightly. “I…I can’t do this,” she said, taking a step back.