Crowded Yet Desolate: A Zombie Novel (15 page)

Roe led them upstairs, down the length of the hall, and into an office that had Bill’s name plastered to the door. It was a modestly sized room with a large, expensive oak desk in the middle. The walls were adorned with letters and poorly drawn pictures, and Bill’s two diplomas were mounted above a filing cabinet against the far wall. Roe stood next to this cabinet, propping up the antenna of the functional handheld radio. There was a great deal of static, but once everyone fell silent, distant voices became audible.

“It’s been on a loop,” Roe explained, with a noticeable gloominess.

“Shhhh,” Mr. Bennet instructed. Roe rolled his eyes but obeyed.

“ . . . Food, medicine, but they never made it. Now, dear listeners, I regret to tell you that there will not be any more supply units, no more rescue teams, no more sweeps. The national government has all but fallen, and it has become too perilous to engage in any other missions. The virus spread more quickly than anyone could have ever anticipated. As of now, 8:00 AM, June 12, 2011, the virus is far reaching into areas of Canada and as far south as Mexico. We are uncertain if the virus has reached overseas, but scientists agree that if this happens, this may well be the end of mankind as we know it.

“It is the best advice of professionals that you sit still and do nothing. Stay indoors, stay quiet, and do not under any circumstance attempt to leave your safe place, especially to play hero. Do not throw your lives away for someone who is most likely dead. Reports state that infected individuals have changed into mindless beasts, who appear to have no recollection of their pasts and devour human flesh readily. It has been speculated that the transmission of the virus occurs through the saliva of the infected, so it is eminent that you do not come into direct contact with the infected. The incubation period is unknown.” There was a long pause. What Ryan had just heard made him cringe. He thought of Albert.
How could I have been so careless?

“Attention America. I regret to inform you that our beloved nation has fallen. Today, June 12, 2011 I am making this broadcast from Portland, Maine, which appears to be one of the last cities that still have power. I am not a government official. I work in radio broadcasting, and I am bringing you this information from what I have collected on the Internet, which I cannot expect to function much longer. Please, if you receive this transmission, broadcast it as far as you are able.

“June 8, 2011 a virus broke out in Atlanta, Georgia, sweeping outwards and killing millions of lives in the last few days. By day two it reached Charlotte, North Carolina and as far south as Florida, and immeasurably west. The national government failed to respond in time, attributing the violence to political riots or religious uprisings. Within two days, the virus had devastated a great portion of the nation. On the eleventh of June, the government realized their mistake and organized a unit of the military to pass out medical supplies, food . . . ”

Roe had heard enough. He reached up and turned the radio off. The excitement that had buzzed through the room before the broadcast was now gone. Mr. Bennet fidgeted nervously, most likely distraught by the government’s failed action. Kyle had removed his glasses and placed them on the desk, and with his one hand he wiped his leaking eyes. Cam stared blankly at the ground, his left hand clenched into a fist.

A sick feeling consumed Ryan, an ache that began at his stomach and traveled to his pounding head.
All of our hopes, gone
. He then wondered why he should care.
Deborah is gone, all of my friends and family are surely dead. What do I have to live for?
He looked out Bill’s window at the overrun city: the overturned cars, the decapitated bodies, the lifeless streets, the walking dead; all so crowded, all so empty.
Is that it? Is that all I have to live for?
The broadcast had shattered each one of their secret hopes, for they could no longer believe this was an isolated incident, no longer believe there was hope of rescue or help. This was no longer a bad story on the rest of the world’s television screens. This was life.

The group slowly filtered out of the office, and Ryan found himself pitying Don, who soon had to relay this information to his wife
.
But Marge wasn’t in her room when they arrived downstairs. Walking to his room, Ryan found Marge tending to the brunette girl, and he stopped to watch. The girl was sitting up and trying to eat. She swallowed, pain and frustration on her face, the chords of her neck standing out, and she managed to get the food down. She looked at the door, and her blue eyes immediately captivated him. He couldn’t move while he looked into them, and even if he could, why would he want to? They were an ocean, and he was a wave, and he was trapped by the power of the tide. She smiled and then looked away.

Now released, Ryan shook his head.
I haven’t felt like that since I first met Deborah
, he thought. Before he could feel guilty about that thought, a more disturbing one struck him: he hadn’t seen or heard Jaden since the broadcast. As panic consumed him, Ryan began to search, finding him in the first place he looked. Jaden was in Albert’s room playing rock-paper-scissors. Ryan ripped open the door, which startled Jaden enough to send him flying into Albert’s lap. They both stared up at Ryan. At this moment, he knew he was the bad guy in Jaden’s eyes, so he took a deep breath to calm himself.

“Hey buddy, it’s time for bed. Mr. Bennet is in the room waiting for you.”

He turned to Albert and pleaded. “Awe man, do I gotta go?”

Albert glanced at Ryan and turned back to Jaden. “Yes, I’m afraid so, Jaden. It’s getting late.”

Jaden sighed. “Okay. But I want to play with you some more tomorrow.” He hugged Albert, squeezing the wound around his neck, and Albert winced in pain. His eyes watered, and his face reddened.

“Alright, alright,” Albert said, pushing Jaden away. “Run along, now, and maybe Mr. Bennet will tell you a story before you go to sleep.” Jaden’s mouth opened into a wide
O
, and he ran off, eager to hear a bedtime story.

Ryan stared condemningly at Albert, who was already apologizing. “I’m sorry. I tried to make him leave but he wouldn’t. He said he wanted to take care of Mr. Albert. He calls me the funny man.” Albert smiled, but Ryan was not amused. “What was I supposed to do? Yell at him? Curse at him? Show him the bite?”

Ryan’s scowl faded. Maybe he had overreacted. No, he thought. The radio had confirmed that the virus transfers though bites. Albert was infected, and he had put Jaden at risk. Despite this, he felt sorry for Albert.
How do you tell someone that they won’t wake up, and even if they do, that there won’t be a world to wake up to?

“Albert, look,” Ryan said, his demeanor opposite of how he walked in. “There’s something you need to know.”

“Goodnight,” Albert interrupted with a smirk.

Ryan didn’t know what to make of that. Had the professor accepted his fate?

Before Ryan knew it, he was back at the door. He turned. “Remember to lock the door behind me. Just in case.”

“Certainly,” Albert said, cheerful yet weak. Ryan closed the door and watched through the window as Albert feebly walked over and locked the door. A smirk on his pale face, he waved goodbye.

Ryan went back to his room, locked the door, and checked the door twice more before lying down for good. Kyle laughed at him, saying he had OCZD–obsessive-compulsive zombie disorder. Ryan joined in the laughter. “Sorry,” he said when it died. “I had this problem way before that.”

Long after Kyle found sleep, Ryan lay awaked, wondering how he felt knowing that he had seen Albert for the last time.
Why am I not doing anything about this?
After a brief mental silence, the answer came.
Because you don’t want to be the one who has to deal with him.
He drifted off to sleep in a troubled stated of mind, and Ryan dreamed.

He was with Deborah again, and endless blue in all directions, the sun high and bright in the sky. They were in the middle of an ocean, a location they had never before visited, for Deborah hated both sand and ocean water. She could never figure out why anyone would voluntarily frolic in an endless body of water where strange creatures that could eat, sting, and poison at will lurked.
So why are we here then, dear?
Ryan lucidly thought.

They were both naked. Ryan stood, steering the boat, and Deborah sprawled across the adjacent cushion. Ryan looked down at her, smiling as he admired the curves of her body, the swell of her breasts and the dip of hips, her smooth, pale skin almost glowing in the sun. When he finally looked away, he was a figure standing at the front of the boat. Ryan jumped at the sudden appearance, swerving the boat to the left. The sun’s rays reflected off the water, obscuring Ryan’s vision. He held up a hand and squinted. A pair of blue eyes became visible, and Ryan immediately knew who it was. She walked forward, her body slowly becoming visible. She was also naked and her curly brown hair draped her tanned shoulders and covered her breasts. Ryan’s fingers, wrapped tightly around the steering wheel, began to tingle in nervous anticipation.

In an instant, Deborah rushed past where Ryan sat and assaulted the other woman, biting her breast and savagely ripping away the flesh. The girl fell to her knees and looked down. Noticing her ruined body, she cried out and cut herself with glass that suddenly appeared from nowhere.

“Why were you looking at her eyes Ryan? Are my eyes not good enough for you anymore? Do you not love me anymore?” Deborah had lost it. Ryan tried to reason with her, trying to salvage his own sanity.

“You’re dead. You’re not really here.”

“I’m not real? How can you say that? You only wish I weren’t real so that you can sleep peacefully while you fuck her! You want to, don’t you Ryan? Do you love her? Well, do you?”

Her complexion paled, and her smooth skin decayed, falling away. Bones pierced through her knees, and blood spilled out, staining the green felt of the boat. She fell to the ground and sloshed through her blood on all fours towards Ryan.

“You’re not real Deborah. You can’t hurt me anymore.”

“I’m right here, Ryan. You made me like this. You couldn’t protect me. You can’t protect them. I’m stuck like this, Ryan. I’m not dead. I’m waiting for you to finish what you started. Don’t you realize that? I’m still banging on the door, the door you always kept locked. No, Ryan, I’m not dead. And if I can’t have you, no one can.”

She was at Ryan’s feet now. She grabbed his knees with a surprising amount of strength, and broke them. Ryan, willing himself to wake, thought he could actually feel the pain. Somehow, he and Deborah fell into the water. He tried to swim but the pain flared in his broken knees. They deeper and deeper sank into the water. He could taste the salt, and his eardrums burst from the pressure. He felt water rush inside. The sun disappeared. Everything around them became black, and the sun was a firefly in the distance. The only light came from Deborah’s eyes, the bright navy blues glaring directly at him as his lungs filled up with water.

Chapter 15

The outbreak had changed Ryan’s life in many ways, mostly for the worst, but contrary to that fact, he was beginning to develop a sixth sense, and this sense was shooting flares the moment he woke the following morning. After failing to dismiss it, he sat up. Something felt wrong. There was a sour, slimy taste in the back of his mouth, and his stomach was upset. As he stood, he noticed the smell, a stench that was all too familiar by now: the smell of blood and death.
Albert
, he thought.

He walked to the door fully awake, a nervous tension racing through his legs and gut. Every step sent a fresh wave through his body. He peered into the hall and saw that all was in place. He did not relax, for he knew there could be a discrepancy between appearances and actuality. He slowly unlocked the door and quietly stepped into the hallway. The smell strengthened, and his throat clenched against the stink. Ryan turned and looked out the classroom window. The sun was high and bright, and he could almost see the intense humidity in the air. He estimated it was ten or eleven, the latest any of them had slept.
Because we’ve never been allowed to sleep this long.

Ryan went to Albert’s room first and, bracing himself for the worst, peered inside. Albert was lying on the floor, his chest calmly moving up and down as he breathed. Ryan banged his fist against the door. Albert sprang to a sitting position. He stared straight ahead for a moment, and then he turned his head towards the door, wearing a perplexed gaze. The bridge of Albert’s nose pinched, and he raised a hand to his nostrils.
It’s not Albert?
Ryan thought, confused. Ryan twisted the door handle and found it locked. If Albert weren’t responsible for the deathly smell, then who was?

He left Albert, walking down the hallway and peering into every room. With each step that revealed nothing, his heart raced more, for every step took him closer to Jaden’s room, and even in this new, horrible world, violence wasn’t meant for such an innocent child. Jaden deserved to grow up normal, away from this misery
.
Ryan’s childhood hadn’t exactly been a picnic–as his grandfather put it–it had been ripped from him by a man who his parents were trying to help out of a tough financial time. Ryan was devastated by the sudden los of both parents. Worsening the situation, the severity of his parent’s deaths caused rumors to violently swirl around the closely-knit town. As a result, people tended to act one of two ways around him: they suffocated him with attention or they avoided him completely. Many children were forbidden from playing with Ryan, and others were forced to invite him to parties and hangouts, despite a lack of actual friendship. His grandparents had raised him the best he could, but he was far from the ripe age of eleven, and it was hard for them to relate at times. This made for a lonely existence.

Ryan wanted Jaden’s life to be easier than his own, but this hope was lost when he approached Jaden’s door. Blood had seeped through the crack under the door, and Ryan stepped into a small puddle of it. Ryan felt his body go cold and stiff. He closed his eyes, hoping it would be gone when he reopened them. But it wasn’t. With his stomach in his throat, he peered in. Immediately he saw Mike lying shirtless on the floor, his back ripped open, revealing the muscle and tissues beneath, scratches covering his skin, deep chunks missing from his flesh, the chunks nowhere to be found. It was only then that he saw Jaden, his nails and teeth making quick work of his previous playmate.

As blood trickled from there to Ryan, he felt a heavy regret for Mike. As much as Ryan had questioned his character, he had been nothing but good to Jaden, an act that didn’t matter in the end, for he too became a feast for the infected, just like many before him and many would after.
Is anyone safe? Can anyone be trusted
? Deborah couldn’t be trusted; Jaden couldn’t be trusted–both people Ryan loved dearly. Ryan suddenly felt alone. Who would change next? Would it be Kyle, the one he slept next to every night? Himself?
The virus can take anyone it wants. We’ll all eventually fall victim
. Ryan hung his head and began to weep.

Suddenly, Ryan remembered Albert.
This . . . all of this . . . it’s all his fucking fault!
As accusations flooded his mind, his tears stopped, his vision blurred, and he became hot with anger. He made a fist, and his fingernails dug into his palms. “Albert!” He screamed the name again at the top of his lungs. “Albert!” He was Achilles waiting at the bottom of the walls of Troy, waiting to kill Hector. This image burned into his mind, and he screamed, “Albert!”

His screams had roused the others, who were now in the hall, curious as to the cause of the noise. It all came together like a puzzle. Don was the first to witness the scene, and he collapsed to his knees, staining his expensive khaki pants with blood. Marge ran to his aid but soon fell to the ground next to him. The others were also crippled by the horror, horror that was caused by one so young and innocent the previous day.

In the chaos, Ryan slipped away unnoticed. When he arrived at Albert’s room, Albert was sitting up, sweaty and feverish, and the door was unlocked. Albert looked from the ground to Ryan and back. “What’s happened?” he asked, in a way that hinted he already knew.

Ryan let the question linger, to let the impact of the answer capture Albert’s heart. “It’s Jaden for God’s sakes.”

“Shit,” Albert said into the ground, not able or unwilling to look elsewhere, tears beginning to pour down his face. He shook his head. “How could this have happened?”

Ryan could tell Albert was being sincere–pleading for the truth. “You caused this, Albert!”

“What?” he asked, greatly shaken from the accusation. “How could I possibly have done this?”

“Enough of this shit. I’m telling the others.” Ryan turned to walk out.

“Wait, wait,” Albert said. “Don’t do that. It’s not yet time. Wait till I’ve gotten get better and I’ve proven myself correct. Then we can let them know together.”

Hearing this, Ryan stopped, wondering if Albert truly still thought he was not infected. Albert had tested his patience long enough. “What do you expect me to do? You dare ask me to still keep this a secret from the others? Bullshit. They have a right to know. I should have told them the truth from the beginning. And take a look at yourself. You are more pale and sickly every time I come in here. I wouldn’t be surprised if you turned into one of them bastards before I even get back!”

Albert said, his voice cracking, “No, I’m fine. I swear it. I didn’t give him the goddamn virus!”

“Then who did, Albert? He hasn’t been outside these fucking walls since the outbreak, and you spent all day with him yesterday. And last night, he was in here when I explicitly told you not to see anyone!”

Albert’s face reddened with shame under Ryan’s attack. His eyes moved rapidly in thought, and after a few moments he turned and faced Ryan. “Ryan, think about this for a minute. Even if the virus is transferred through bites, I didn’t bite Jaden.”

Ryan hadn’t considered this. “Maybe, maybe not. Were you conscious the entire time we were gone? Can you prove, without a shadow of a doubt, that you didn’t bite him at some point, conscious or not?”

“No, Ryan. You’re wrong. I’ve told you before, I don’t know how I know I’m right, I just know that I am. Trust me. I’m much smarter than you.”

Ryan threw his arms out. “Holy Shit! I see what this is about now. This isn’t about the virus at all. This is about you and your pride. You’re desperate to finally have a thought that can make an impact in the world, and you’re willing to jeopardize all of us because your own pride and ego won’t let you be wrong!”

Albert shook his head, the argument worsening his condition, whitening his face and rasping of his voice. “No, it’s not like that. I swear.”

A silence fell between them. Without another word, Ryan left the room, his feet heavy on the floor, and slammed the door. He walked to the staircase, grabbed a desk chair near the top, and carried it back to Albert’s door. Everyone’s wet eyes watched as he slid the chair under the door handle and barricaded Albert inside.

From down the hall Cam said, “What the hell are you doing, man? He’s sick as shit in there.”

“Forget him,” Ryan said. “Everybody, in the cafeteria, now.”

A few minutes later, everyone in the cafeteria, the circle they formed but a broken sphere of its former self–Cam and the Bennets stifling sobs, Roe and Joe both dry-eyed but clearly distressed. Ryan fidgeting in anger and fear of what they would say.

With no hope to offer, he began bluntly. “Albert told me that yesterday morning he allowed himself to be bitten. That’s why he’s been sick all of this time. He’s infected.” He observed their blank expressions, their silent wonderings, and knew it would take some time for them to believe his words. He waited before he continued. “I believe he infected Jaden.”

Except for Reginald’s soft noises within his swaddling, everything remained silent. The proof of the hour crept brightly in through the window, and its reassuring blaze seemed out of place in a such a dark time.

Cam broke the silence. “Wait, this is a joke, right?” And as if to prove himself correct: “If he was bit yesterday morning, why hasn’t he changed yet?” 

“No one knows how long it takes for someone to change,” Joe said.

“That’s right,” Roe said. “Besides, have any of you seen Albert in the last few days? If what Ryan says is true, and I have no clue why he would say this if it weren’t, then the signs of infection are clear. He could go any minute.”

“It’s true, what I said,” Ryan said. “Why would I make this up?”

Cam furrowed his brow. “But if Albert was the one who transferred the infection to Jaden, shouldn’t he have changed before? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“The boy is much smaller,” Mr. Bennet said, clearly reluctant for his voice to be heard. “It would be perfectly reasonable to assume his immune system is more prone to the virus than a full grown man. Happens all the time with other ailments.”

Cam had nothing more to say. After a brief silence, the silence that follows the revelation of most tragedies, Ryan told them what Albert believed about the virus.

“Does he have any other theories?” Kyle asked, intrigued. Ryan shook his head.

The twins scoffed at the idea, however. “It’s horseshit,” Joe said.

“Absolute horseshit.” Roe agreed. “Why does he think he can just change the rules? We’re the fucking experts. In Atlanta, I saw people get bit and change right before my eyes. Ryan, come on, you were there with us. How can you believe this?”

Lost in thought, Ryan heard himself say, “I never said I believed it.”

“Wait,” Roe suddenly said.

Joe and Roe simultaneously pieced something together. They looked at each other, their faces full of quizzical pity, and they nodded. “Ryan, how long have you known that Albert was infected?”

Realizing he had been caught, Ryan chose not to lie, remaining silent against his accusers.

His silence told them everything they needed to know. “My God,” Joe said, disgusted. Silence spread through the room. Ryan’s face flushed red under their glares, the silence roaring in his ears.

Finally, Joe said, “You fucking asshole.”

“You’ve betrayed our trust,” Roe said. “Your silence sent those two to the grave.”

The twins turned stood and walked to the far corner, their whispering voices indistinguishable. Ryan watched them go, and he felt Guilt lay on him like prison cell chains, holding him down, restraining him until he received the punishment he deserved. He began to cry, hating that the others were watching, but unable to stop. He had wanted to blame Albert, but he now knew he was to blame: he was the leader and had multiple chances to prevent this.

After three minutes, the twins returned from their private conference. Roe spoke for them. “We’re leaving. We can’t stay here with someone we can’t trust. The fact that you would do something like this, when something like this has already happened once . . . ” He shook his head, and they began walking towards the door.

Ryan filled with panic, the thought losing them causing a tremor in his body. How long could they last without Roe and Joe?

Ryan stood and spoke to their back. “Please don’t go. We need you. I’m–I’m sorry. What I did was wrong, and if I could go back and change it, I would put a fucking bullet in his head the moment he showed me the bite. But I can’t do that. Please, don’t cause more bloodshed because of what I’ve done.”

Kyle took his side. “If you don’t stay for him, stay for us. We’re doomed without you.”

The twins, who hadn’t paid Ryan any attention, stopped for Kyle. “You can come with us if you want,” Joe said. “Any of you. The only reason we stayed to begin with was to let things calm down out there. And things seemed to have. So you’re welcome to come, but we’re not staying here.” They walked out, and the door closed quietly behind them.

When they had gone, Ryan said, “Go. He’s right. This is all my fault. You’re better off with them than with me.” He waited for their movement, their curses, or maybe even their attacks. In his mind, he was back at the elementary school playground, where kids ignored him, where good little boys and good little girls listened to their parents about the boy who would grow up to be disturbed. He had proven them right.