Crushed (8 page)

Dating
Ryan was less dramatic than I think we both anticipated. For the first few
months, I held my breath somewhat. He changed after we started dating.

He
stopped drinking. He didn’t even drink beer when he came over to see Jason and
Lacey.

We
hung out nonstop. When he wasn’t working, and I wasn’t running around doing
errands for him, we were together. He insisted after the first 2 months that we
were together that I start going on set with him. He would have me wait behind
camera while he filmed his scenes so we could hang out between takes.

We
hadn’t had sex, not from a lack of trying on his part. I needed, no had to make
sure that he was serious about what we were doing. As much as I loved being
with him, I needed to know that if I gave him the last part of myself that I
had control over, that he would understand how important it was to me.

That’s
not to say we did nothing, there was a TON of messing around between the both
of us, Ryan taught me how to pleasure him, and it quickly became one of my
favorite things to do. I loved his expression and the noises he made,
especially when I knew they were because of me.

Lacey
and Jason were great about me always being gone and with Ryan, they always made
sure to tell me that they wanted me to stay with them for as long as I needed,
but Lacey was 6 months pregnant, I didn’t want to hog up their house while they
were taking care of a newborn baby.

I
told Ryan one night, when we were sitting in his kitchen, eating his homemade
chicken parmesan, that I was going to dip into my savings and buy a place.

I
had told him about my dad, about the life insurance and saved money. I also
told him how important all that money was to me, that I didn’t ever want to
feel like I was happy spending the money that I only had because he died. Ryan
understood. He always made me feel good. Especially when it came to
conversations about my dad. 

         
“Move in with me” Ryan said, setting his fork down with a huge smile on his
face “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before.”

“What
do you mean, move in with you? We’ve only been dating for a few months Ryan.” I
said

“I
know that, and I don’t mean move in and let’s get married tomorrow. I have 5
bedrooms in this house Em, and only 1 of them is used, you can take whichever
one you want. You can even pay rent if you feel like you have to. This would be
better all around, you would be closer so if I need your help, you don’t have
to come over in the middle of the night anymore.” He was getting excited trying
to sell the idea to me.

“The
only thing you call me for in the middle of the night is to make you those
smoothies you like and to make out” I laughed

“I’m
serious Emmalyn, this could be perfect and we would have more time together
which is a win win situation if you really think about it. We can go over and
see Lacey and Jason whenever you want, but this will give them more time to get
ready for the baby and you won’t have to feel like you are in the way when the
baby is finally here. I want you to move in, it would make me very happy” he
reaches for my hand and kisses it

“Please?”

I
pause looking at him. I look around the kitchen then look back at him. He’s
still holding my hand, with a hopeful expression on his face

“Okay”
I agreed

“Thank
god!” He shouted, standing up to pull me into a hug “let’s go get your stuff.”

I
moved in with Ryan that night. Alex came by and helped out

We
were seeing more and more of him. I think as soon as Ryan realized that I
wasn’t going anywhere, he let his fear of having Alex around and losing me to
him go. I also think he was seriously missing having his best friend around.

Alex
was a flirt, but after a while Ryan started ignoring it, just like I did. He
would hang out and watch movies, tell us about what the club was doing, he had
been a patched member for 4 months now. He never dated though, I asked him why
a few times and he never really gave me an answer outside of “I’m waiting for
the right one.”

That
was also the first night that Ryan and I finally had sex.

I
was in the middle of carrying a large box to my room, Ryan had insisted on
doing the move ourselves, I don’t think he wanted a bunch of strange men
carrying my stuff, and I really didn’t have that much.

I
leaned over to set the box down and felt him come up behind me. His hands
wrapping around my waist and pulling me against his front. Using his chin, he
moved my hair away from my neck and began to lay kisses down my neck onto my
bare shoulder.

“You
look so much hotter, now that you live with me” he said nibbling on my ear

“Seriously?”
I asked “I have been in your house a million times Ryan, way to flatter a
girl.”

“Yeah,
you’ve been here a lot, but all those other times I felt like I was borrowing
you, at the end of the night I always had to send you back. Now you are mine,
and I know what I want to do with you first.”

Before
I had a chance to ask him what, he reached his hand into the waist band of my
yoga pants.

As
soon as he made contact with my clit, I threw my head back onto his shoulder.
He didn’t waste any time leaning down and sinking a finger inside of me.

“You
are always so fucking wet baby.” he groaned

“For
you.” Was all I could say, right before I was brought over the edge by the
noises he was making just from pumping this thick fingers in and out of me.

“Mmm”
he said, and I looked down to see him sucking my juices off each and every one,
before putting the last one between my lips “you taste so amazing E.” he
grinned

He
bent over and picked me up, carrying me next door to the master bedroom.

He
laid me down on his huge king size bed, on top of the softest comforter I had
ever been on, I was always trying to steal it. When we would watch movies he
would bring it down and we would snuggle under it.

As
soon as he laid me down, he knelt between my legs and slowly pulled my pants
and the lace thong below them off. I sat up to try and help him, but instead
pulled my tank top off, leaving my bra for him to deal with

         
When he looked up, he had that sexy grin on his face “God I cannot wait to fuck
you.”

He
tongue started its assault on my pussy, licking and swirling around my clit at
a racing pace and before long I was coming again, screaming his name

I
pulled his hair urging him to move up and kiss me. As soon as his lips met
mine, he began moving his hips up and down and side to side, teasing me while
sucking on the side of my neck

“Oh
God Ryan.” I moaned

“This
is only the start baby, just wait.” He murmured, sucking on the lobe of my ear.

He
took my mouth again, hard and fast thrusting his tongue in and out of my mouth
forcefully as his hips continued to move without actually entering me.

My
desire for this man was tearing through me. I knew that I wanted him, but it
was so intense I thought I was going to explode.

Giving
me on last sweet kiss, he sat up, holding himself above me by leaning on his
left arm. With the other hand he reach between us, grabbing his length and
rubbing his tip against my clit, I jumped at the sensation, having just had an
orgasm seconds ago.

He
carefully positioned himself at my entrance

“I
love you Emmalyn, I have loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you and I am
the luckiest son of a bitch in the universe because you are giving me this
gift.”

I
smiled at him, “I love you too Ryan, so much.”

Without
another word he gently entered me. Just a little at a time.

“I
am going to do this quick, as soon as the pain goes away it will be good for
you baby, I promise.”

I
nodded my head

Ryan
thrust his hips forward quickly, the pain slicing through me like a knife. I
knew that there would be slight pain, but I didn’t realize it would feel quite
like this.

“Ahhh”
I let out

Ryan
stopped for a moment. Without withdrawing. He lent down and kissed my neck, my
shoulder and finally my lips

“God
you feel fucking amazing sweet girl.”

Ryan
waited a few more moments “Ready?” he asked me

I
nodded yes again

He
sat up so he could look at me, holding himself up on both arms the look of
lust, love and desire was so clear in his eyes.

He
pulled out slowly, and then quickly pushed, pulled out and pushed back in. At
first it was uncomfortable, and new but each time he did it, it began to feel
better and better.

He
never took his eyes off of mine. Watching me intently. As soon as it started to
feel good and I started to moan, he began going faster.

“Oh
baby, this is fucking great, you are so fucking tight” he groaned loudly

I
knew sex wasn’t quiet, but Ryan was louder than I expected, his noises only
fueled my pleasure, I began to moan with him

“Oh
my God, god don’t stop please don’t fucking stop” I yelled

He
smiled, brow furrowed in concentration. Thrusting at a ferocious pace now

I
started to feel my orgasm building again

“I’m
going to come again” I told him

“You
can go baby, let go.” He assured me

As
soon as I let go, I arched my back, he didn’t let up on his thrusts, still
pumping in and out as fast as he could.

When
he finally came, he yelled out “Fuck Em”

Lying
to the side of me right after, he began rubbing small circles on my belly

“What
are you thinking” I asked

He
stopped his ministrations

“I’m
thinking, that I have had sex so many times, too many times to count.” He
paused

I
made a motion to move away from him, it’s not what I was expecting. Was he
comparing me to them? Was I not good enough?

“I’m
sorry, I didn’t really know what I was doing. Sorry Ryan.”

He
ignored me

“I
was thinking that sex felt really good with those girls. It scratched an itch,
it made me forget any pain or boredom that I felt…”

“And
then tonight happened, and I didn’t know that I could feel so much. I have
never felt so good in my entire life, I felt like I was going to burn into a
pile of ash just touching you. I have never felt anything like it, like my
heart and my body wanted to crawl and live inside of you. It was amazing
Emmalyn, epic and I want to do that again and again every day for the rest of
my life.”

Tears
flooded my eyes

“That
is so not what I was expecting you to say” I laughed

Lacey
wasn’t upset that I had moved in with Ryan. At first she asked me if I was
sure, I think she was worried I was rushing. She told me if I ever needed her,
she was there and I could always come back “home” to her and Jason.

Soon
after I moved in, staying in one of the guest bedrooms no longer really made
sense. Ryan and I were having sex several times a day. Whenever I wasn’t
working and he was home, he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of me. I
couldn’t stop touching him.

He
was romantic, he was always gentle in everything but the actual act. It always
seemed that when he touched me he was afraid I would break, but once he entered
me he couldn’t control himself.

I
never wanted that to change. I never wanted the passion in his eyes every time
he touched me to dim. I needed it like I needed my next breath.

About
two months later, Ryan and I were out on a picnic. He had a whole week off
before he started his next project.

He
planned the whole thing and didn’t let me know what he was up to. I knew it was
something, he told me to wear a cute dress.

When
I came down to meet him, he wasn’t wearing his normal jeans and a T-shirt,
instead he was wearing Khaki’s and a blue polo shirt. I told him once that it
was my favorite because his pectoral muscles screamed at the tight fabric and
it always made me want to drag him to the nearest bedroom when he had it on.

When
we got to the park, I noticed that we were alone. Which was rare. This was our
favorite place. It looked out over the water, it was romantic, but there was
always other couples there.

Ryan
had me wait in the truck while he went to set up. When he finally came back for
me, I noticed that we were not quite alone. There was a man playing a violin,
it was a beautiful song that gave me goose bumps.

Rose
petals covered the blanket Ryan had set up over the table, a wicker picnic
basket sat in the middle, and glasses of wine were poured into the champagne
flutes. It was beautiful.

When
he sat me down, he had a huge smile plastered on his face. He looked like a little
boy excited for Christmas gifts.

It
was adorable.

After
we were done eating, we started talking about Lacey and the baby.

“I
can’t wait to hold my niece or nephew and spoil the shit out of that kid” Ryan
laughed

“I
know, I am going to be the best aunt ever I will supply him or her with candy
and then send them home and Lacey will kill me.”

The
sun began to set, and I thought that Ryan was getting up to start packing up.

“Sit”
he said

I
listened

 A
few seconds later he pulled something out of his pocket and sat it behind him.

“I
love you Emmalyn, you know that right?”

I
nodded

“I
have never felt so much love in my entire life, as I have the last several
months that I have been with you. I look forward to seeing your smiling face
first thing every morning. I feel like a drug addict waiting for his next fix
every night when I have to wait to come back home with you. I live and breathe
for you. I need you like I have never needed anything in my entire life. I
would walk to the ends of the earth for you. I want to spend forever with you.”

He
stood up and faced me. Then he bent down on one knee

Holy
shit.

He
looked at me, a tear in his eye “I want you to marry me. Marry me and give me
forever Em, I want you to be my wife.”

When
he opened the ring box I gasped, it was the most beautiful ring I had ever
seen. It was a large stone, which was never a huge fan of until now. The ring
was perfect.

He
saw my face “I had it designed for you. I spent hours with Lacey at several
different jewelry stores and we both agreed that neither of them really were
“you” so I found someone who was willing to make one for me and I think it’s
perfect, do you like it?” his confidence seemed to be diminishing

“I
love it” was all I could say, I was still in shock. I wasn’t expecting it

He
smiled again, straightening up

“So,
will you marry me Emmalyn, will you be my wife?”

“I
will Ryan, yes!” I exclaimed

He
jumped up with me in his arms and twirled me around

“Thank
fucking God, you had me scared for a second there”

When
he set me down, he took my hand and placed the ring on my finger. Perfect

“Thank
you so much”. He whispered into my hair I felt the tear run down his cheek.

He
took me then, in the open park

Only
later did he tell me he rented the whole thing out for our special moment.