Crushed (Crystal Brook Billionaires) (2 page)

Rooting around through the toiletry bag, I found my hairbrush and started yanking at a particularly problematic rat’s nest near the top of my head. Pulling at the hair hurt a bit, but it was welcome. The action kept my mind on the pain and away from anything else. When the knot didn’t come out after a minute, though, I began to get frustrated.

“Damn it,” I whispered through gritted teeth. “Fucking cocksucker.”

I yanked harder and still the knot didn’t loosen. I let out a guttural sound and pulled with as much strength as I could muster, sending a searing pain across my scalp.

“Goddamn it!” I screamed, giving up and throwing the brush at the wall. It bounced and landed in the open toilet then just bobbed there, taunting me with its very existence. If there had been even just an ounce of humor left in my body, I would have laughed. Instead, I kicked my heel against the closed door then let out another half suppressed yell before sliding down onto the floor.

I drew my knees up and let my face fall forward between them. Clutching the sides of my head with my hands, I focused on my breathing. In and out. One. Two. Three. It was something I’d done a lot over the last few days.

Get out of bed and shower. Just take it minute by minute. I’d thought it would be a simple enough task.

Of course it had turned out to be anything but that.

*

Eventually, I made it through showering and brushing my teeth. Knowing my mother stood downstairs waiting for me helped a lot. The longer I stayed in the bathroom, the higher the chances were of her coming looking for me. She was already worrying about me enough. The least I could do for her was speed things up and get my butt into the kitchen.

I dressed in the first things I grabbed from my suitcase, a pair of jeans and a blue and white striped t-shirt. When I grabbed the shirt, I momentarily froze. It was the one I’d worn on the day Peter and I took the train out to Rockaway. It had been only a month ago, in March, and he insisted it was the best time to go. We walked the chilly and deserted beach, and he’d slipped his hand in mine. Our fingers wound together perfectly, and for the first time, I wondered if we were a couple.

For some reason, I remembered every minute detail of that day. The blue gray sky. The tiny Mexican restaurant with no one there but an old man wearing a Dodgers ball cap. The rocking of the train’s car as it carried us back to Manhattan. In any other moment of my life, all of those things might have appeared desolate, but with Peter they were magical.

I almost threw the shirt back in the suitcase and picked another one, but in the end, I didn’t. Everything would be this way, I knew. It wasn’t just the contents of my suitcase, or my apartment, or the city I lived in. I would look at all the objects and places in the world around me and be reminded of him. I might as well start getting used to it.

My mom wasn’t alone in the kitchen. My sister was there as well, sitting at the table. Gwen stood up the second I entered.

“Hi,” she said, her weight shifting around a bit, like she was uncertain of just what to do.

“Good morning,” I replied, quickly taking my own seat. The kitchen was by far the hottest room yet, despite the window there being fully open.

Once I settled down, Gwen did the same, a slightly relieved look on her face. She looked away from me, but I could still feel her attention pointed my way. She watched me from her peripheral vision, waiting to see what I was going to do and say.

“You’re just in time, Claire,” Mom sang out from the stove. She shuffled down the length of the counter with a frying pan then carefully dumped scrambled eggs onto two waiting plates.

I eyed Gwen. “Why aren’t you at work? Isn’t Saturday morning your busiest time?”

“I took off,” she cheerily responded.

“Ah.”

“I thought we could hang out today.”

I gave that some thought then slowly nodded. As much as I wanted to be alone, I also wanted to be anything but that. It’s funny how things can be that way. Besides, as far as company went, my only sister had some of the best of it to offer. When we both lived in New York, we’d enjoyed a pretty awesome stint as roommates. After she moved back to the town we grew up in to open her coffee shop that doubled as a bookstore, a pretty big hole had been left in her absence. For a while, I’d filled it up with work and going out with friends. Life had been good.

And then I’d met Peter, and life got even better…

No, I reminded myself. Don’t do that to yourself.

“All right,” I eventually said. “What did you have in mind?”

She shrugged. “Whatever.”

Mom set the plates in front of us.

“Thanks,” I told her. “Aren’t you eating?”

“I already did. I need to go pick Danny up from tae kwon do.”

“Huh? What time is it?”

I turned to look at the clock above the stove. Eleven oh nine.

“Thanks, Mom,” Gwen said. “I’ll clean up.”

“All right then.” She leaned over and kissed me on the top of my head, something she hadn’t done since I was a little kid. The action was sweet, but I held my breath, half waiting for her touch to be gone.

Like everything else, kisses and other displays of affection only reminded me of what I no longer had.

“See you two later,” she said. “The repairman shouldn’t be here for a few more hours, but if he does show up while I’m gone, give me a call.”

“All right,” Gwen said. “Bye.”

She left, and Gwen got up to grab us some forks and knives.

“Thanks,” I told her before quickly looking down at my plate and busying myself with cutting the eggs into even smaller pieces.

“So.”

“So,” I said to my plate, searching quickly for questions to ask her so that the conversation wouldn’t automatically turn to me. “You getting lonely in that big house yet?”

She scoffed. “Not quite.”

I peeked up at her, the first smile I’d felt in weeks tugging at the corners of my mouth. “He’ll be back soon.”

“Hopefully not too soon.” She looked at me, her eyes serious. “You know what he said. You should stay here for as long as you need to.”

“I know, but I can’t stay for long.”

“Come stay at my place.”

“Thanks, but that’s not what I meant. I wasn’t complaining about Mom and Dad.”

“Oh.” Gwen jabbed a fork into her pancakes.

Just a few days away from work was bad enough. Making my stay stretch into weeks would be unacceptable, even if my boss was my future brother-in-law.

The love of Gwen’s life had been my boss way before the two of them had even met. It was crazy at first, really, bringing Jason home for the holidays two Christmases ago and watching as two of the main people in my life first fought and then fell in love. Once it happened, though, I quickly grew accustomed to it. Jason and Gwen were so alike that they had a way of smoothing out each other’s sharp edges. Separate, they were two decent people, but together they were one fun, amazing, and loving couple.

It was Jason who suggested he go stay in New York for the week, essentially reversing places with me. Even though he worked remotely in Crystal Brook, he had insisted that I take the week off and not answer so much as one email.

As much as anyone probably could, he understood what I was going through.

And Gwen did too.

That was so much more than I could say for nearly everyone back in New York. “But you only dated for two months,” was what my co-worker Thea had said. The way the words slipped from between her lips had made it sound like that was a good thing — like I had less of a reason to grieve simply because mine and Peter’s time had gotten unexpectedly cut short.

She’d meant no harm by the words, I know. She’d actually been trying to uplift me. But what Thea didn’t know was all the things that had gotten stolen away from me prematurely. The chances I never took. The things I didn’t say.

And all because I thought there would be time.

Time to fall in love with him. Time to build a future I thought I’d never have. Time to finally trust someone enough to let them into my life in a significant way…

“…and you know that’s the case,” Gwen was saying in between bites of eggs.

I stared at her. “Huh?”

She chewed, swallowed, and was probably about to say something else, but the doorbell rang.

Gwen’s nose crinkled. “Dang, that was fast. And on Saturday too.”

I dropped my fork on the table and stood. “I’ll get it.”

“I’ll text Mom and tell her the repair guy is here.”

I trudged down the hallway and to the front door. Without bothering to look through the peephole, I grabbed the handle and yanked.

And then lost my breath. The man standing on the front stoop looked familiar — too familiar. With his dark brown hair, hazel eyes, and triangular jaw, he was everything that had been on my mind for the last two and a half months.

Peter.

But of course it wasn’t him. It was just some random guy who looked like him. This man was a little taller as well as more broad shouldered. He also looked slightly younger. He wore a black t-shirt and jeans, and his eyes went a little wider upon seeing me.

“Hi,” he said in a smooth, velvety voice.

“Hi. Come right in.”

“Um… all right.”

The man looked slightly put off but came in when I stepped aside. He glanced around the hallway, a slight smile on his face.

“I don’t know what the problem is,” I said, shutting the door. “My mom woke me up and said it was broken.”

His dark eyebrows bunched together. “What was broken?”

Footsteps sounded, and Gwen popped out of the kitchen. “Hey,” she said before stopping.

“Hi,” the man answered, still sounding slightly off.

Gwen stood there and looked at him while he just looked back.

“Gwen,” I said. “Do you know anything about what’s wrong with the freaking AC?”

She shook her head. “No.”

I sighed. “Well, whatever. You wanna see it?” I asked the man while managing to not look directly at him.

“I can take a look, sure.”

“Great. It’s right over here.”

I started walking, leading him down the long hallway to the back of the house where the main unit was near the downstairs guest room.

“I’m not really the best at this kind of stuff,” he said from behind me.

I tried not to scoff. His statement seemed like a weird thing for someone to admit while on the job, but whatever. “All right.”

I stopped at the large vent and waited. The man bent down and peeked through the vent.

“So is that your twin?” he asked, surprising me with his change of subject.

“Gwen? No. I’m a year and a half older. But everyone thinks we’re twins.”

“I’ve seen her around town,” he said, still peering at the vent. “But you don’t look identical, of course. More like fraternal.”

“Ah.” I wasn’t really interested in small talk. On top of that, I was already considering just climbing the stairs and going back to bed. Gwen, I was sure, would understand and not pressure me to go out and have a “fun day” with her.

The man scratched his head. “Do you have a screwdriver?”

“Yeah, my Dad’s got plenty in the garage. You don’t bring that stuff with you?”

He straightened up and looked at me. A whiff of mint mixed with something else — maybe bergamot — wafted in my direction. Unexpectedly, my stomach flipped.

“Why would I do that?” he asked.

I snorted. “I don’t know. Maybe because air and heating is your profession?”

One of his eyebrows twitched, and he looked even more confused. After a couple seconds, his expression softened, and an amused smile grew across his lips, exposing dimples high on each cheek.

“I’m not a repairman,” he said. “Is that what you thought I was?”

I stared at his dimples. “Eh…”

He chuckled. “I just came here to see if you’ve seen a gray cat anywhere.”

“Um,” I answered, still unable to form real words.

“My friend’s cat got out,” he explained. “She lives right down the street from you.”

“Oh.”

There. At least “oh” was close to an actual word.

“Dharma,” the man said.

“Everything happens for a reason.”

He grinned wider. “It’s a little more complicated than that. It depends on which religion you’re asking. But sure. The principle of cosmic order. That’s probably it in a nutshell.”

“Why are you mentioning it?” I slowly asked, a scary realization dawning on me as I spoke. First of all, the man I’d just invited into my parents’ house was a literal stranger. He claimed to be looking for a lost cat, but who knew if that really was the case. He could have been looking to rape someone — kill, maim, rob — that’s what he could have been looking for.

Although with looks like the ones he possessed, he probably had more trouble keeping women off of him.

Gwen. Her name was like a lifeline. Hopefully, if Cat Boy made any funny move on me, she’d have enough sense to figure out what was going on in the hallway and call the cops.

“Dharma is the cat’s name,” he answered, drawing me out of my frantic thought-stream.

“Oh.”

Gwen appeared over his shoulder in the kitchen doorway. “The repairman just called,” she said. “He’s on his way.”

“Right,” Cat Boy said before I could so much as draw a breath. “I apologize. I should have realized you thought I was someone else. I’m just looking for a cat.”

Gwen leaned against the doorway. “Which cat?”

“A gray one. With a pink collar that has a bell on it.”

Her eyes went wide. “Dharma? Is she okay?”

“Probably. She just didn’t come home yesterday, and her owner is freaking out.”

Gwen nodded. “Yeah, I know Whitney. I’ll keep an eye out for her.”

“Thanks.”

Gwen straightened up and took a step towards the guy. “I’m Gwen. That’s Claire.”

“Owen Burke.” He turned to face Gwen straight on. Seeing my opportunity, I slid sideways towards the staircase. So the man who I’d welcomed inside wasn’t a rapist. Great. That meant Gwen would be fine on her own. Which meant I could sneak away upstairs and disappear back into darkness.

If I were lucky, Peter would be in some of my dreams.

And if I were even luckier, my sleep would be dreamless.