Crystal Lies (30 page)
Authors: Melody Carlson
Time graciously passes, and its late August now, and my garden looks better than I ever imagined possible. Especially after getting a late start on planting, since the divorce settlement didn’t come until April, and I didn’t actually take possession until early May. By then I knew it was too late to grow anything from seed, and so I got some wonderful seedlings from the little nursery that’s only four blocks away But everything just took off. Even my neighbors are impressed with my green thumb, and I’ve been giving away tomatoes and cucumbers and zucchini by the wheelbarrow load.
Besides cleaning up the yard and putting in the garden, the first thing I did to my little house was to paint its exterior, transforming it from dirty-sock beige to buttery yellow. If I do say so myself, it was quite an improvement. But that was only the beginning. I’m pretty certain that my hands have gone over every square inch of my little house by now. Well, not the roof; I left that to the professionals. But I have refinished the hardwood floors, repainted the walls and cabinets, and even replaced some of the broken windowpanes. It’s amazing what they can teach you to do at Home Depot these days. I’ve also sewn curtains and decorated it in “shabby chic,” causing some of my friends and neighbors to think I should attempt to make a living doing this sort of thing. And I might just do that.
Having and fixing up my own little house has probably been the best form of therapy I’ve found so far. And it’s good to have Winnie and Rufus back too. Mrs. Fieldstone insisted on delivering them to me herself so she could have a tour of my new place.
“It’s perfectly lovely,” she told me, although it was still pretty torn up at the time. “I can imagine a divine garden party in this backyard.”
Jacob graduated again from Hope’s Wings in early April, and he has been surprisingly helpful in restoring my house. I let him do as he liked with the guesthouse, his quarters for the time being and for as long as he remains clean and sober. I was somewhat surprised when he painted the interior walls an odd shade of aqua blue, but it looked quite nice once his things were in place. So far, Jacob has worked his recovery program and stayed clean. He’s even held the same job since May. He’s also enrolled for classes at the local college, and I am feeling hopeful.
Do I think we’re out of the woods yet? Not at all. I didn’t get this far in the recovery process for nothing. I know as well as anyone that it’s still a day-by-day thing, and I suppose I won’t rest completely easy until Jacob has been clean for a couple of years or more. Just the same, I sleep much better at nights when I remind myself to put my son back into God’s hands. I’ve come to accept that only God’s hands are big enough to hold something as overwhelming and daunting as a loved one who’s an addict.
But today is a happy day, because I am finally having that garden party that Mrs. Fieldstone recommended. And besides her, I am inviting Jack and my other friends from the apartments as well as Sherry and some of my new church friends and even Sylvia from the grocery outlet store. And, of course, Marcus will be here too. I’m not sure whether Jacob will make it home on time or not, but I did tell him that even though it’s mostly older people, he’s more than welcome to join us. Even so, I won’t be worried or fretful if he doesn’t show up. I know he’s got friends and things to do too.
My life’s certainly not perfect by any means. I still have my ups and downs and doubts that come knocking in the middle of the night. In some ways I’m as much in the recovery process as my son—it’s definitely a daily thing for me, too. But I have come to accept something. Or almost.
I guess I’d better be careful lest I fall flat on my face tomorrow. But I have decided that God never meant for life to be perfect or easy or even what we might consider normal. I mean, just look around this crazy old world at all the hardships to be found along the way, and you’ll have to agree that this must be true. Bad things happen to everyone. And I believe that God fully intended for us to struggle along, sometimes wading right through the middle of waist-high crud. But even so, he still wants us to trust him; he wants us to hold on to him as we muck our way through these unfortunate life messes. And I believe our reward is to become stronger in the end.
Not only that, but we get to make some wonderful friends as we journey along—the kind of friends who know how to stick by each other even when life isn’t tidy or neat or easy Those are
real
friends, and I have learned to appreciate them. Because I don’t believe that God ever meant for us to do this thing called Life alone.
Study Questions
The Harmon family seems somewhat blindsided by Jacob’s drug problems. What signs were perhaps missed? Do you think anything would’ve played out differently if they’d been more aware of Jacob’s susceptibility to chemical addiction? If so, what?
Early in the story Glennis portrays her family as rather “picture perfect.” Do you think she really believed this? Why or why not? Why do we sometimes believe what we want to believe?
Glennis didn’t seem to know that her marriage was in trouble when she left Geoffrey. When do you think their marital problems began? What could they have done differently?
Glennis had a classic codependent personality. Why do you think she was like this? What do you see as the negative and/or positive traits of someone who is codependent? Do you see any of these traits in yourself?
Glennis had difficulty discerning the difference between loving and enabling. How would you distinguish between them? What guidelines do you use to determine this in your own life?
Sarah had almost completely disengaged herself from her brother and his problems. Do you think this was selfish or self-preserving or both? Explain.
What factors do you think were most critical to Glennis’s discovery that she was part of the problem? Where did she find her best sources of help? If you were in her situation, where would you go for help?
Glennis’s marriage was in worse shape than she had originally thought. Do you think she should have done something differently? What would you have done in a similar situation?
Were you surprised when Sherry’s son Matthew died? Some may view this as a departure from the story line about Glennis and Jacob. In your opinion, what was its role and significance in this story?
Crystal Lies
is as much about codependency as addiction. Did this story change any of your attitudes toward people who become caught in these traps? Do you know anyone who’s dealing with these issues? Do you view addicts and codependents differently now that you’ve read this book? Explain.
Resources
B
OOKS
Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time
by Melody Beattie.
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start
.
Caring for Yourself by
Melody Beattie
Cracked: Putting Broken Lives Together Again: A Doctors Story by
. Drew Pinsky
W
EB
S
ITES
Do It Now! Foundation—
www.doitnow.org/pages/101.html
Crystal Meth—
www.crystal-meth.us/
Crystal Meth Anonymous (CMA)—
www.crystalmeth.org/
About the Author
Over the years Melody Carlson has worn many hats, from preschool teacher to youth counselor to political activist to senior editor. But most of all, she loves to write! Currently she freelances from her home. In the past nine years, she has published more than 100 books for children, teens, and adults—with sales totaling more than two million and many titles appearing on the ECPA Bestsellers List. Several of her books have been finalists for, and winners of, various writing awards, including the ECPA Gold Medallion Award and the Rita Award. She has two grown sons and lives in Central Oregon with her husband and chocolate Lab retriever. They enjoy skiing, hiking, gardening, camping, and biking in the beautiful Cascade Mountains.
C
RYSTAL
L
IES
P
UBLISHED BY
W
ATER
B
ROOK
P
RESS
12265 Oracle Blvd., Suite 200
Colorado Springs, Colorado 80921
A division of Random House, Inc.
Scripture taken from the
New King James Version
. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Also quoted,
The Holy Bible, New Living Translation
, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
The characters and events in this book are fictional, and any resemblance to actual persons or events is coincidental.
Copyright © 2004 by Melody Carlson
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Carlson, Melody.
Crystal lies / Melody Carlson.—1st ed.
p. cm.
1. Married women—Fiction. 2. Mothers and sons—Fiction. 3. Ice (Drug)—Fiction. 4. Drug abuse—Fiction. 5. Adultery—Fiction. I. Title.
PS3553.A73257C795 2004
813’.54—dc22
2004011320
eISBN: 978-0-307-55182-5
v3.0