And she knew he was right.
Even though he’d told her that sex was a one time deal, she had no doubt she was going to end up in that big bed with him, naked and compliant, falling even deeper in love with a man who would never love her back.
What was she going to do with him?
Even more important, what was Taron going to do about her?
Now that was the question she’d love to see answered. And maybe that was the way she needed to look at this. Smiling, Willow tugged lightly and picked up the pace. They really needed to get something to eat and a few hours sleep.
Ed, hang on. We’ll get you out of this.
Or die trying.
She glanced once again at the eastern sky and the huge, rugged shape of Mount Shasta looming over the town. The sun was almost up and the sky had turned to dark crimson.
Red spilled out of the sky and spread over the snow-covered mountain. Willow shivered. It looked exactly like fresh blood covering the pristine slope.
Eddy? Are you awake?
I think so. It’s hard to tell the difference between waking and sleeping, DemonSlayer.
I guess that’s right. I’ve been a spirit for so long, it’s almost all I remember.
Am I dead?
I don’t believe you are. You know when you die. I was aware of death. When I died, I didn’t go to the void. I went to Mother Crystal.
Who’s that?
The crystal caverns where Taron replicated swords for the Forgotten Ones. They’re alive. They are one and She is the heart of Lemuria. We call her Mother Crystal. When a brave and honorable warrior dies, that warrior’s spirit goes back to Mother Crystal’s womb to await rebirth.
Eddy thought laughter. There was no way to make the sound.
That’s all well and good for Lemurian warriors. I’m human.
Not anymore. You are immortal and you carry crystal. When you die, you’ll be reborn just as I was.
Oh, crap. This time she was certain she made the sound of laughing. She was almost certain she heard herself snort.
You mean I’ll get stuck as partners with some idiot like you have? How can you stand me? I’m not so sure I want that.
There was a long pause. When DemonSlayer spoke, she was most definitely not teasing.
I would never choose to serve an idiot. Don’t insult both of us, Eddy.
I’m sorry. Really, Elda. I do apologize. I’m scared. I say stupid things when I’m afraid.
She sighed, paused, and then switched gears.
You woke me. Was there something you wanted?
At least the voice of DemonSlayer, who had been Selyn’s mother, Elda, sounded mollified.
Try and link with me. I sense contact, but my ability to receive in the void is very weak. I need your help.
How?
Open your mind and push. Give me your energy.
How in the hell? But she did what DemonSlayer asked and immediately sensed a burst of energy moving out of her and into something else. Hopefully into DemonSlayer’s consciousness.
Time seemed to pass, but there was no way of knowing how much. Eddy waited. She let her thoughts float, open and accepting. Tried to imagine Dax floating like this for so many years, nothing but consciousness, a mind without form.
How had he managed it without going utterly insane?
Eddy?
DemonSlayer! Who was it? Who was trying to communicate? Did you hear them?
DarkFire has reached me. It took the combined power of all five of our companions’ blades, but we made brief contact. Dax is devastated by your disappearance. They did not know where you were, but now they do. They’ll figure out a way to bring us safely home. I sent a message from you to Dax. I told him you love him. I hope I did not overstep my bounds.
Thank you. No. You did not overstep. I do love him, and I miss him so much! But now what?
We wait. Contact has been made. If they found us once, they will find us again.
Dax! I’m here, she thought. Please find me. I love you. I need you. She said it over and over again as if her plea were her mantra, but DemonSlayer’s voice had faded away and Eddy’s thoughts were merely her own. Finally, she stopped, but she floated on in a formless sea, all alone, an insubstantial, inconsequential bit of nothing in the ultimate scheme of things.
She wondered what was going on with everyone. Was her father okay? She worried about him, about that very brief yet powerful sense of connection to him that she’d felt. Was he all right, or had something awful happened?
She’d tried to contact him without any luck before she got sucked into the void. She’d called a number of times—he always answered the phone when she was away. Always.
Except when she’d tried to call him today. Or was it yesterday? A week ago? Dax had said that time did not exist in the void, so she had no idea how long she’d been trapped here. How long since she’d last spoken with her father.
Where was he? She knew Dax was okay. Maybe it was time to concentrate on finding her father.
Dax stared at the fading glimmer of purple light shimmering along the amethyst blade and hated the fact he’d been right.
Eddy was in the void.
DarkFire had made contact with DemonSlayer. Eddy was okay, but how in the hell had she ended up in the void? At least they knew she and DemonSlayer were alive, but they were trapped in a place where they didn’t belong.
How was he going to get them back?
Dax shuddered. His imagination was running overtime, and he rubbed his hands over his arms to drive away the sense of something crawling over his skin. He’d spent way too much time in the void and that experience would forever haunt him.
How in the hell was Eddy coping? She was life and action, color and song, her mind and body in constant motion. What would the total sensory depravation of the void do to one like Eddy?
HellFire shimmered and everyone’s attention immediately went to Alton’s sword.
“Mother Crystal is the only hope. Only she can bring Eddy and DemonSlayer back.”
Dax stared at Alton. “Who the hell is Mother Crystal?”
Alton shook his head. “Haven’t got a clue. HellFire?”
Once again Alton’s blade came to life. “The crystal caves where Taron and his blade labored are sentient. They are the heart and soul of Lemuria. They are one, and She is called Mother Crystal. She is the womb where the souls of all brave and true warriors rest and await rebirth within a sentient sword. We must go there, to the source of power, and ask her to bring Eddy Marks and DemonSlayer home.”
Light faded from the crystalline facets and silence filled the large room. Finally Alton stood. “I’ll get to work on the portal to Lemuria. Ginny, can you help me? We need to open them anyway, but if the crystal caves are the only way to get Eddy back, that’s where we have to go.”
Dax stood. “How long will it take?”
“It’s easier to seal one shut than it is to open the gods-be-damned things. At least a couple of hours, though with Ginny and DarkFire helping, it might not take as long.”
“Is there anything I can do?” Dax grabbed DemonFire off the table and sheathed the sword.
Dawson stepped closer. “Selyn and I are planning to patrol the other portals, to make sure none of the ones to Abyss have been reopened.” He sheathed DemonsDeath as Selyn reached for StarFire. “Dax, why don’t you come with us? Alton can reach us telepathically as soon as he’s got a working portal.”
Dax nodded. He had no idea how to open a portal and would only get in the way. It wasn’t the answer he wanted, but it would have to suffice. He had to do something. Had to keep busy or he’d go insane with worry. Eddy was out there, alone in a place that could only be described as nowhere. As nothing. She’d have no sense of anything beyond her own thoughts.
This was the existence she’d saved him from—an existence that was little more than a living death—and there was nothing he could do to help her right now. Sick at heart, frustrated beyond words, he turned to Alton. “Good luck, my friend. Please hurry. I ...” He sighed. There was nothing to say. Nothing at all that would make anything better.
Alton threw his arms around Dax and hugged him. “I know. We’ll hurry. Listen for our call and be ready. We’re going to the main portal at Bell Rock. It takes the same time to open a small one as a large one, and that gateway gives us a more direct route to the caves. Ginny? You ready?”
She nodded, stood on her toes, and gave Dax a quick kiss on the cheek before she followed Alton out the door. Dax watched the big Yukon peel out of the driveway, and a fleeting thought popped into his head. Why did they still rent that dumb SUV?
All of them still acted as if who and what they were was only temporary. A rented car, a borrowed room here with Dawson, a sense of danger their constant companion. Would life ever settle down? Would this war against demonkind never end?
Would he ever hold Eddy in his arms again?
“C’mon, Dax. Let’s go.”
Dawson stood by the door with the keys in his hand. Selyn had already gone outside to the SUV and waited in the backseat.
“Looks like I’m riding shotgun,” he said, attempting a lightness he didn’t feel. “Where are we headed first?”
Dawson walked out with Dax right behind him, but he paused on the step. “Boynton Canyon. After that we’ll check Red Rock Crossing. We’ll go to the Airport vortex last, since that’s the last one we sealed.”
“The one where we lost Eddy.”
Dawson didn’t answer. He merely nodded and quickly turned away. Dax followed him out to the car, but his mind was spinning and his heart felt like a lead weight in his chest. How had they lost her? How could she possibly have disappeared between one moment and the next?
Did it matter? No. All that mattered was finding Eddy and bringing her back. Dax got into Dawson’s SUV and slammed the door shut behind him. The sun was already well above the red rocks and birds sang as if they faced another perfect day.
He fastened the seat belt and tried to relax as Dawson backed up, turned around, and headed down the long driveway. How could everything look so beautiful? So absolutely normal?
It felt wrong. So totally wrong for the world to keep spinning when his own reality was twisted and lost in despair. When the true love of his life was lost. Alone, probably frightened, and lost in the void.
He sent a prayer to whichever gods watched over demonslayers. There had to be one, somewhere, didn’t there?
Chapter 14
Hiding here in the shadows had taken the last of his strength, but at least the bitch hadn’t found him. He’d been worried when she made that loop around the building, but it appeared he’d once again outsmarted the idiots. Let them look in the cellar all they wanted. He rather preferred it here in the attic where he had a view of the town and the stupid humans who lived here.
So oblivious—they had no idea their lives were about to change forever. He sighed and found a spot in one dark corner where he could spend the day resting. He’d not planned on having to conserve energy quite as carefully, but the bastards had definitely screwed up his energy source. All those wonderful demon souls wasted. Not merely sent to the void, but actually dead and gone. Forever.
He shuddered, thinking of the finality of that final death. He needed that damned demonslayer’s life force or the same future awaited him as well.
No. He would not even think of such an end. He would think, instead, of how he might reevaluate his plans to ensure success. He’d not consumed nearly enough demons last night, and he was actually tired. What was it with this human body? It appeared to have needs he didn’t understand, but it only had to last one more night—two at the most.
He’d expected Dax to appear before now. The ex-demon no longer had his woman to worry about. Now that had been a brilliant move—catching her at precisely the right moment as she passed through the energy vortex. What were the odds of the father connecting to the daughter at the only time when she could be mentally pushed out of the portal and into the void, using the power of the vortex?
It was about time something went his way.
He sighed and tried to find a comfortable position, but the floor was damned hard and this body’s sensory input was letting him know it preferred comfort. He spied an old chair against one wall, a long, low couch that would give him a more comfortable place to rest. Shoving himself to his feet, he limped across the uneven floor.
There was a bunch of crap piled on the chair, but he knocked everything off with a sweep of his arm. Dust flew. He sneezed. That was certainly a new experience. Sneezing. He wiped his face with one filthy sleeve and then slowly lay down on the lumpy couch. It took him a bit of squirming to find a position that was moderately comfortable. Demons didn’t really sleep, but it appeared this human needed rest. He could animate it with his own power, but he hated to waste any energy he’d be unable to replace. So be it. He needed to be strong. Dax was certain to show up tonight, and he’d be waiting.
Lying back on the dusty couch, he closed his eyes. He sensed the human stirring in the back of his mind, but the man was much too weak to manipulate this body on his own.
The physical shell was next to worthless at this point, but as an avatar it would have to do for the short time that he needed one. Even if the damned thing died, he could still use it. It would take a bit more energy—energy he really didn’t have to waste—but the payoff would be worth it. He held up his hand and stared at it. Covered in scrapes and small cuts, it bled sluggishly, as if the ability to heal had been compromised.
How did these creatures survive with such easily damaged bodies? He thought about his demonform—the powerful legs, the four muscular arms and the talons and fangs and hard scales. Soon, it would be his forever. He could dump this worthless piece of crap and rule with the perfect body of a demon god.
Patience. He had to have patience. Dax would be here tonight. He was positive the ex-demon’s disgusting sense of honor would draw him to rescue the human. Once he had Dax ...
His eyes slipped shut, his body stilled, though a smile played about his lips. Just a few hours. That was all he needed. A few hours to rest and regain his strength, and then he would have more than he needed—and he’d have it forever.
With that thought in mind, he let go of the last threads of consciousness and the darkness settled in around him.
The demon let go and Ed’s consciousness burst into life. It was his fault! His fault that Eddy was somehow trapped in the same place where Dax had languished for so long, where Eddy’s ex-demon had feared he would end up after his work on Earth ended.
Now how in the hell was Ed going to get his daughter out of the void? He’d waited for what felt like hours for the damned creature to sleep, but finally he’d felt the shift in power when the demon’s mind faded into darkness—faded and left Ed almost alone in his ruined body.
But what the hell could he do? He couldn’t go anywhere. His physical self was an absolute mess. According to the demon’s mind, it had “seriously degraded” over the past hours. Now that was an understatement as far as Ed could tell, but he didn’t mind. He’d not been allowed to eat or sleep since the demon had taken control, thank goodness. As much as he hated the thought of life ending, with any luck the body that had housed Ed Marks for almost seven decades would die, making it harder for the creature to harm Eddy or Dax.
Without an avatar, the demon would be forced back to Abyss. Enough of the demon’s thoughts bled over into Ed’s mind when the creature was thinking. He knew what was coming—knew that the goal was to steal Dax’s life force.
He also knew that the demon figured he could still use Ed’s body, even if it was dead. Not if Ed Marks had anything to do with it, but how could he fight an entity like the demon king?
What in heaven’s name could he do? How could he protect Eddy and Dax? Damn, but he loved Dax like his own son, and Ed knew if he had to die, Dax was the perfect one to take care of his baby girl for all eternity. If he’d chosen a man for Eddy, he couldn’t have done any better than Dax.
The poor boy must be frantic by now—Eddy lost in the void and her father just lost. Did they even know what had happened to him? He’d not talked to Eddy the day he was taken. His only contact since—that brief mental link—was what got her into this damned mess.
Lying there in the filthy attic, he thought of the things he wished he could say. Words he would speak if he had the chance, and he poured his heart and soul into the thoughts that would haunt him forever.
Eddy? Eddy, I wish you could hear me. I’m so sorry, sweetie. If I hadn’t called out to you when I did, the demon never would have found you, never would have had the ability to shove you out of the portal and into the void.
He somehow used the power of the vortex. I wish I knew how to help. I wish I could tell you how proud I am of you, how much I love you, but it might be too late. For what it’s worth, I have always been so proud of you and so glad you’re my daughter. Your mom was proud, too, and she loved you so much.
He sensed a pulse, as if a heart beat nearby. Then Eddy’s voice burst into his thoughts.
Dad? I can hear you! Where are you? I’m in the void, that place Dax talked about. I’m here with DemonSlayer. Why is it too late? What’s happened to you? Can you hear me?
Eddy? He wasn’t just imagining her. Fate wouldn’t be that cruel ... couldn’t be. Ed focused his thoughts and tried to pinpoint the source of that familiar voice.
I hear you, sweetie.
He hoped the demon wouldn’t notice the tears running down his face. Hoped the bastard wouldn’t wake up for a long, long time.
Talk to me, Eddy. Tell me what you know. Maybe we can help each other.
Willow stepped out of the shower, toweled dry, and grabbed Eddy’s old bathrobe off the hook by the door. She brushed her hair back and twisted it into a ponytail that she tied up with a bright red scrunchy.
She stared at herself in the mirror and wondered how she could already have such dark circles under her eyes. For all intents and purposes, those eyes were only two days old.
Bumper? I’m sorry I didn’t make bacon for you. I’m just too tired.
Me, too, Willow. Don’t worry, though. It’s okay.
Of course, Bumper’s long, shuddering sigh was a reminder that it wasn’t entirely okay, but Willow refused to feel guilty about not cooking breakfast. Cereal and fruit were just fine.
Besides, Taron seemed to expect her to cook for him, and she wasn’t about to fall into that role. She knew exactly what Lemurian men expected of their women.
Not this girl. She wanted to be just like Eddy and Ginny. Strong women—brave and self-assured. Confident and tough as any of the men.
Thank goodness she had a couple of really good role models, or she might be sucked in by that feeling to put her own needs and wants aside so she could take care of her man.
Even if he wasn’t really her man.
To all nine hells with it! She was tired and her brain did not need to spin in circles over things that she couldn’t change. The only person she had control over was Willow. Taron would have to make up his own mind.
Willow welcomed love. She might not know very much, but she was certain she was strong enough to fall in love even knowing it couldn’t work. Not when the object of that love was a hard-headed Lemurian.
She marched out of the bathroom accompanied by a billowing cloud of steam and her own sense of righteous anger. Walked across the room to the bed, prepared to tell Taron he was going to have to stay on his side. She was tired and she needed her sleep—what she didn’t need was any more confusion than she already felt.
Taron was sound asleep. He’d unbraided his hair and it spread out over the pillow in a scarlet fan of pure silk. She stood there, staring at him, and felt all her powerful convictions wavering.
Truth be told, she’d fallen in love with him the first time she saw him deep in that Lemurian prison cell, so it was a little too late to decide now that she wasn’t going to love the guy. She slipped the robe off her shoulders and stood there entirely naked, watching him sleep, and the truth continued to beat at her thoughts.
Finally, she accepted the inevitable and crawled into bed beside him. She lay there for a moment, propped up on one elbow, staring at him. He slept so deeply he showed absolutely no awareness of her at all.
Something she might as well accept. She’d fallen in love with a flawed man, one unwilling to take a chance on her or on love. As disappointing as that was, it was his choice, not hers, to take the coward’s way out.
Feeling equally brave and miserable, she lay there a moment longer absorbing the heat from his body, the soft sounds of his steady breathing, the mere fact he lay beside her.
I can’t change how you feel about me, Taron of Libernus, but I can be true to the way I feel about you.
With that thought firmly established, she relaxed against the mattress and closed her eyes. For however many days she had, she was going to stay true. So what if he refused to see what was right there in front of him? That was Taron’s problem. She wasn’t about to make it hers.
She had no idea her thoughts were as clear as ink on a printed page. No idea how much it hurt to see himself through her innocent eyes. Taron lay quietly beside Willow, listening to the sound of her soft breathing, aching inside. Wanting her with a combination of arousal and need, pain and fear, and lust and a pure and simple love that went beyond explanation.
And of all those feelings, those needs of his, the simplest was the most difficult of all. He loved her, and by loving Willow, he’d damned her.
Both his heart and body had betrayed him. He’d been intrigued by her from the beginning, but once she’d gained her size, he’d forced himself to see her as a beautiful experiment. A chance to experience something he’d heard of but never really desired for himself.
He knew humans were different, that even the Edenites understood love in its purest form, but many Lemurians had chosen differently. They’d known there were not enough women and had pulled themselves out of the marriage pool—essentially choosing, as Taron had chosen, lives of study and self-improvement. They considered themselves above physical and emotional connections.
What fools. What damned fools, and he was the biggest fool of all. He’d actually believed the load of crap he’d fed himself, that he could be a scholar and a philosopher, a student of life by placing himself above those other needs. How in the nine hells could any man expect to understand that which he’d never truly experienced?
Now he understood the light he’d seen in Alton’s eyes when he spoke of Ginny. He knew why Gaia was willing to stand beside Artigos the Younger, even though he’d failed her worse than he’d failed their people.
Love. They knew what love was, while he, a man who honored learning, who believed one had to be above those simpler needs, had failed the one who mattered most.
He’d fallen in love with Willow, and by doing that, he’d condemned her. Even now, as he fought every instinct he had, every sense of desire that told him to hold her now, to make love to her and let her know he meant it, even as he fought his deepest desires, he knew he was going to lose.
It was too late, and he was too weak.
He would make love to her again because he had no other choice. He would tell her he loved her, because to ignore those feelings building inside him would be to continue a lie.