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“Let’s go to your table; it’s quieter back there,” he says grabbing our drinks.

Again, I follow him. It’s strange, I haven’t even gotten his name yet, but somehow it feels like I would do whatever he asks of me.

“What’s your name?” I ask taking my seat. He stands next to me; his drink on the edge of the table; he's in my space.

My heart is beating, hard. Please say Jake.

Be him.

Don't be him.

I’m indecisive on what I want.

“Lucas,” he says sliding the glass to me. My face falls a bit, let down that it’s not him. It will never be him. Sometimes, I think I imagined him. The good times, a memory; the bad, a nightmare. Still, there is something drawing me to Lucas. I shift my eyes away from him,, not wanting to give too much away. He grabs my chin between his forefinger and thumb and turns my head to look at him. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No. You just reminded me of someone.” I smile at him, not wanting to take away from the undeniable attraction between us.

“Are you disappointed I’m not him?”

“I think I’m exactly where I need to be with exactly whom I’m supposed to be with.”

“You don't seem like you belong here. Yet, the bartender’s looking out for you. What’s your story?”

“I don't look like I belong?” I ask pretending to be affronted.

“It’s not that you don't belong. Most of the kids here look like they’re all about the cliques, and you look like you don't care about what anyone is doing but June.” God, the way he says my name.

“I’m a college student at Cleveland State. Just the same as most of this crowd.”

“That’s not true, June. Not at all. There is nothing like you that’s the same as everyone else.”

I feel my face grow warm and I know I’m blushing. I never blush anymore. Why is it that Lucas brings this out of me?

“We haven't touched our drinks yet.” I want to take the attention off of me so I grab my glass.

“To new acquaintances,” he clinks his glass to mine. I put my glass to my lips and drink half of the small rocks glass. I watch as he does the same. His lips, a light shade of pink are wet as he pulls it away. I lick my lips and relish in the tequila burn.

The lead singer walks over and throws his arm around Lucas’ shoulder. “Hey brother, five more minutes. You sounded great on the last one. The crowd really dug that shit. We should totally do more originals. Hey, I’m Dietz,” he says to me and I watch Lucas’s body shift so that he is blocking me a little from his friend. It’s not blatant, but I can't help but feel like he subtly claimed me to him.

“June,” I say raising my hand doing a small wave.

“Dietz, I’ll be over in a minute,” Lucas says to him and downs the rest of his drink. I follow his lead and finish mine as well. “Will you stay for the next set?” he asks. Besides my obligation for The Scene, there is no way I would leave.

“I’ll be here,” I say and Lucas brushes his fingers over my short strands of hair across my forehead then walks back up to the small stage. His touch still feels familiar. Even though I know they’re not the same person, I can't shake this feeling.

Chapter Two

The next set is just as good as the first, if not better. The crowd is definitely into it. I’m finding their original music to be better than the covers. They all have skills, especially Lucas and Dietz. I sit for the first few songs and then before I know it, Lucas’s eyes have drawn me close to the stage again. Liz takes a break from making out with Blondie and starts to dance next to me.

“Damn, I haven’t seen two people eye fuck each other like you two ever,” she says over the music. Liz is wearing a red strapless fitted dress. Her long blonde hair falls down past her shoulders but sways and bounces as she moves to the music.

“Where did your blonde toy go?” I ask.

“He’s getting us drinks.”

“Allen? Seriously?” I ask.

Liz cringes, “Sorry about that, but Mark wouldn’t leave the other place without him.”

I shudder, “Next time tell them I’m gay.”

“That will just turn them on,” Liz laughs and I can tell she is fairly inebriated.

“Maybe you’re right. Make something up that will turn them off the trail then; I don't care what it is.”

“Fair warning, remember you said this. If a guy thinks you’re into baby play, you’ll know why.”

“You wouldn’t,” I giggle noticing that the tequila must have affected me, since I hadn't eaten dinner. Liz winks at me, throws her hands up over her head and starts to bounce to the upbeat song. I laugh at my best friend and dance right alongside her, until Mark joins her, followed by Allen. I roll my eyes. I was hoping I was rid of him. Allen puts his hands on my hips and tries to dance with me. I shake my head at him, and tell him I’m not interested.

“Oh, come on. A pretty little thing like you would have so much fun with someone like me.”

I peel his hand away from me, “Allen, I think you’re a douche. I’ve been trying to be polite, but don't touch me.”

“You don’t have to be such a bitch,” he says rather loudly. My eyes are fixed on Lucas. His brow furrows and the tone in his voice while his singing changes. The song has natural anger to it, but the anger in his voice just kicked up about ten notches. Again with his anger, he looks so much like I would imagine Jake to look like.

“I can't believe he just talked to you like that.” Jake runs his hands through his hair, taking a deep breath, “I hate him, June. I hate him so fucking much.”

“You don’t mean that.” I wrap my arm around his waist and pull my head onto his chest. We’re standing in the back of the empty, dirty barn and his dad just left. He caught us kissing. He wanted Jake to help him clean the fish he just caught, but he couldn't find him. When he found us in the barn with our lips locked, something we’d been doing a lot of lately, he called me a whore.

“I mean it, June. I don’t want you anywhere near him. Maybe you should just stay away from me. I’m no good for you.”

“Jacob Daniels, don't you dare talk like that. I don't care what he calls me.” Jake is angry; angrier than I’ve ever seen him. His brow furrows. He shrugs from my embrace and punches the tall wooden pillar. Blood drips from his knuckle and he rears his fist back to punch it again.

“No, stop!” I latch onto his arm and do my best to stop him from hurting himself. “Jake, no. Look at me,” I plead trying to get him to let go of his anger. I stop him from hitting the wood again, but the anger is coming off him in waves. “Please don't let him hurt you any more than he already has.”

“Don’t call my friend a bitch, you asshole!” Liz yells breaking me from my quick memory. Allen flips her off and storms towards the bar. “You okay?” she asks me.

I do a whatever motion with my hand, flipping it around in the air, brush off the bitch remark and pump one arm up over my head with the beat.

I take my eyes off of Lucas for a moment and look at Liz. Marc is mouthing “I’m sorry,” to her and pleading with Liz not to be pissed. Maybe Blondie isn't so bad after all; at least he didn't chase after the douche bag.

I return my attention to the band. I know I need to watch all of them for my article, but it’s hard to avoid the vibes coming from Lucas.

I can tell Dietz and the bassist also can feel Lucas’s anger and they try to draw him out of his mood by playing around him. It works and Lucas is smiling and back to playing the keyboard with the same easy flow.

Before long, Dietz is at the microphone. “Thanks for coming out tonight. We’ll be around for a while. We have CD’s and other Silent Tides merchandise available at the table by the door. If you enjoyed the show, buy that shit!” The crowd is clapping and whistling.

I’m nervous and excited. I look down at my watch, it’s just past twelve-thirty. I’ve been so engrossed in everything that is Lucas that I haven't used the restroom and decide that now is a good time. I’ll give him a second to get off stage and do what he needs to do. There is a line with at least three women ahead of me. I check myself in the mirror while I wait. My hair is still in place after all of my dancing. My blue doe eyes are lined with a charcoal smoky eye that’s slightly smeared. Sweat sticks to the back of my neck, from dancing so I grab a paper towel, wet it, fix my make-up around my eyes, then press it against the back of my neck while continuing the perusal of my outfit. I have a t-shirt that hangs off one shoulder, it’s black and reads, punk’s not dead. I’m wearing a jean skirt with little black boots that are barely laced.

I get it, next to Liz I don't look like I fit in. I’m not one to really care if men like me or not. Either they do or they don't, but I want Lucas to like me. I know I’m small. I’m petite. Always have been.
“You might be small, but you got fire,”
Jake’s words resonate through my mind and briefly I wonder if they will ever go away.

I leave the restroom and notice that the line has doubled. Lucas is standing by my table with a few of the band-mates. They have drinks in front of them and a small group of women surround them. I feel like an intruder, but my coat is on the stool. Lucas laughs at something one of the girls says and notices me approaching. His smile brightens.

Dietz calls my name loudly, “June!”

I laugh and watch Dietz throw his arms around a woman’s shoulders with long curly dark hair. “Where the heck have you been?” Dietz asks jovially.

“There was a line,” I say and notice that Lucas pulled out my stool.

“I got you a drink,” Lucas says. It’s another round of tequila. Normally, I would never take a drink from a guy like this, but I’m slightly buzzed and I oddly feel like I can trust Lucas.

“Thanks,” I say and do a double-take as a girl with large breasts, even larger fluffed out blond hair and even fewer clothes takes a seat next to me. “I’m Bernie; Eric’s girl,” she says righting herself in her spot.

“Eric?” I question.

“I’m Eric,” The bassist with the red skinny jeans says as he sits down across from Malibu Barbie.

“Hi,” I say to the both of them, but am cut off by Eric when he asks, “Where’s Rhett?”

I lean in and ask Lucas who is standing on the edge of the table, “Who’s Rhett?”

“He’s our drummer, and dude I have no idea. He grabbed his sticks and was all like, ‘I’m out.’ as soon as our set was over. Anyone know what’s up with him?” Lucas asks the guys.

“I think he is ticked off at Joey,” Dietz says. I surmise that Joey must be the guitarist. I look around for him and see that he’s by the front door selling merchandise.

“Those two have more drama than any chicks I know. If they’re not fighting over the same girl, or griping about a song, then they’re generally inseparable, but seeing as they have the same taste in women and bump heads over music, it hasn't been fun lately,” Bernie says.

“She’s right. Those two are full of so much bullshit,” Lucas agrees and takes a sip of his dark amber liquid.

“So Bernie, that’s an unusual name?” I ask.

“So is June,” Eric says. He has a slight attitude about him, but I’m guessing it’s the fact that he is coming down from a show. I’ve been to enough of these to know that the adrenaline from performing can make them act differently.

I see Bernie give a kick to Eric’s shin with her white stilettos under the table. “It’s short for Bernadette.”

“I like it,” I say and decide that I like Bernie.

“So, June. What’s your gig?” Dietz asks.

“Good old C.S.U. student,” I say with mock enthusiasm.

“What’s your major?” Lucas asks me. He’s quieter than the rest of the guys. But it seems like he really wants to know my answer.

“English,” I say taking a sip of my tequila.

I see Liz on the other side of the room headed towards me. Her hair bounces from side to side as she sways her hips. Mark follows behind her as if an invisible leash has him tethered and that’s how she likes it.

“Hey chick!” she says as she approaches the table.

“Everyone, this is Liz.” I introduce her, my voice coming out louder than I meant to and I know that must be the tequila.

“Dietz. My pleasure,” and happily gives a side hug with Liz, obviously checking her out.

Marc scowls and grabs her close. It’s nice to know he has a backbone. At Marc's blatant claim staking, Liz squints her eyes and says, “Hey, Dietz. Everyone, great show. We’re going to take off. Are you good?” I don’t miss the look Liz gives Dietz; I'm just unsure what it means.

I look around the table and feel Lucas’ fingertips trail lightly up my arm. It feels so familiar. “Yeah, hon. I’m good.” Then, I pull her close and whisper in her ear, “Be safe and keep your cell on.”

“Marc?” I ask.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“I need to see your license?” I tell him.
He gives Liz a confused look. Then, I add, “You don't want me to see it, that’s fine; but Liz will be staying a while longer to hang out with me.”

“Give her your license, Marc,” Liz demands.

Marc pulls his license out, hands it to me, and I slide my phone from my jean skirt pocket and snap a picture of it, then explain, “Just gotta make sure I know who my girl is taking home.”

A few of the guys laugh at the table, but for some reason Lucas doesn't seem that amused. Liz and Marc leave and I join in the conversation with the table.

“Is that something that happens a lot?” Lucas asks me.

“What? Liz hooking up?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, I guess it kind of does. She’s Liz. It’s just who she is. Has been that way since the day I met her, and Lord knows I’m not changing her.”

“But she’s your roommate?” Lucas asks.

“Men always with the double standard. Look at Dietz, he’ll fuck anyone, anywhere, no one questions him, but the second a woman is doing it, look out,” Bernie adds.

“I’m hurt,” Dietz says in mock horror. “I wouldn’t sleep with just anyone. They have to have a vagina.”

Eric coughs and mumbles under his breath, “Vegas”.

“That didn't happen,” Dietz denies. “And with that, I’m getting another round. Who wants one?”

The entire table places their order. Before long, I’m doing another shot and laughing with Lucas.

***

“So, the band? Is that a full-time thing?” I ask drunker and more outgoing than I normally am. Eric and Bernie took off a few minutes ago, and Dietz is entertaining a crowd of women.

“I have a regular job; the band is for fun. Some of the guys take it more seriously than others.”

“What else do you do?”

“I’m at a body shop. How about you?”

“School is kind of it for me,” I say and then hate that I’m lying, so in my inebriated state I come clean, “Shoot, that’s not the truth. I write for
The Scene
.”

“Why? Is that a bad thing?” he asks.

“No, but I might be here sometimes writing about local music.”

I see it dawn on Lucas that I’m writing about the band. I shrug then say, “Don't tell anyone because I’m suddenly finding myself a little impartial.”

“Is that so?” he flirts.

“Perhaps,” I smile and coyly take a sip of my drink.

Ash stops by the table and removes a few empty bottles, “We’re getting ready to call last call. You still good, June?”

“I’m freaking awesome, Ash. This is Lucas. Wait a minute, you know who he is. He’s in the band.” I sloppily hit myself on the forehead then shake my head as if everyone should know that was a silly statement. “How did you do tonight? Make some big bucks?” I ask with a slight slur.

“Are you drunk?” he asks ignoring my question.

“I am slightly buzzed, but it’s all good Ash.”

“I got her man, everything’s cool,” Lucas says. I can tell Lucas’ body language has changed and that if Ash doesn’t back down this could turn into a pissing match. So I do what a horny, drunk, college girl does, I lean into Lucas and say loud enough for Ash to hear, “I’m not ready for the night to end yet. You?”

Ash’s shoulder’s slump like he’s disappointed in me. “See you later, June,” he says and walks away, clearly getting the point.

“I like the way you think, June. Let’s get out of here,” Lucas says, his pupils dilate as he takes my hand and helps me shrug my coat on.

His thumb strokes my hand and he links his fingers with mine and I realize that in some way, he’s been touching me since his set ended. I like this. It’s soothing.