Curse of the Wickeds (The Cinderella Society, Episode 2) (13 page)

I relaxed a little. He was just preoccupied, that was all. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head before planting his lips on mine for a lingering kiss. “This is better therapy.”

Not that I disagreed. It was so natural being with Ryan. But I had that nagging feeling again that he was keeping things surface with me on purpose.

Why do I always have to overanalyze?

He held my hand as we walked back out into the gym and right into Nick Case. Nick gave us both a quick once-over and smirked, then turned back to the twenty or so people still left in the gym. “Ladies and gentleman,” he said in a mock announcer’s voice. “May I present Mt. Sterling’s own Superman. Faster than a speeding semi, able to leap small children in a single bound . . .”

Nick made a show of clapping and bowing to Ryan, and this time I knew I didn’t imagine it when Ryan’s jaw clenched. “Shut up, Case.”

Nick looked him square in the eye. “What’s the matter, Steele? You got a problem being the local hero?”

The muscle in Ryan’s jaw jumped.

Satisfied that he’d gotten under Ryan’s skin, Nick strolled away to flirt with Nichele (who needed a bonk on the head from the Good Sense Fairy if she thought he was worth fawning over). I reached over to link my fingers with Ryan’s, since he’d let go of my hand when we ran into Nick. Ryan shook it off.

“He’s jealous,” I said. “He doesn’t like sharing the spotlight.”

“He can have the spotlight for all I care. They all can.”

I stepped in front of him so he’d have to look at me instead of staring at the far wall. “Why do you hate being appreciated?”

“Anyone who knows me knows I’m not a hero.”

“And yet,” I countered, “everyone who knows you thinks you are one. Doesn’t that strike you as odd?” I reached for him again, determined to break through the wall. “There’s nothing wrong with being a hero, Ryan.”

Our eyes met, and I saw a flicker of pain behind the anger. But the wall stayed up, and he dropped my hand after only a few seconds. “Don’t make me into something I’m not. I’m not Superman.”

“Don’t confuse me with Nick Case,” I snapped. “And don’t shut me out if there’s something wrong. Lay it on me. I can take it.”

He looked at me for the longest time, completely unreadable. “And if you can’t?”

“Give me some credit.”

His frustration was palpable, and I watched in awe as he reined it all back in before it could break the surface. At the rate he was going, he’d be ulcer city by the time he hit college.

“Drop it, Jess.” Ryan’s voice was dead serious and so low it came out like a rumble.

He stepped around me to leave, but I blocked his path. “Don’t dismiss me like I’m second class.” I didn’t care if it ticked him off.
I
was ticked. Why was I so easy for guys to kiss and so hard for guys to be honest with?

“Don’t pretend you’re some villain,” I added. “Because I know villains, and you’re not even close.”

“Stop putting me on a pedestal. I’m no saint.”

“Neither am I.”

He worked the muscle in his jaw as he ground his teeth in irritation. Make that ulcers
and
dentures by college.

“It’s been a rough day,” he said after a minute. “They reran the story with my name in the paper. Front page. People have been giving me grief about it all day.”

Front page?
Go, Stan!
“Why are people giving you a hard time about it? That’s ridiculous.”

“They’re not giving me a hard time. It’s just all anyone’s talked about all day. Why can’t they give it a rest?”

“Why can’t you take the praise?”

His eyes darted to my face, then back to the wall. He shook his head. “I don’t want to fight with you. Let it go, and I’ll see you Tuesday.”

“Okay. But I’m glad Stan put it on the front page. I didn’t think he would. That’s where it deserves to be, Ryan.”

Ryan didn’t move for a second. Didn’t even breathe. When he did, I could almost see smoke coming from his nostrils. “You did this?”

He sounded stunned. And beyond ticked off. But I hadn’t done anything wrong, and I stood my ground. “Nan did, actually. But I was there and filled in the blanks for Stan when he asked.” Ryan opened his mouth, but I cut him off. “Nothing I told him was untrue, Ryan. You need to get over whatever your hang-up is.”

“It’s a lot more than some stupid hang-up.”

“How would I know that? You never let me in.”

“Be careful what you wish for.” His eyes were cold. “I’ll see you Tuesday.”

I watched him go, barely registering the footsteps behind me. “Leave it alone, Thief.”

I turned toward Lexy and saw the same intensity I saw in Ryan. I glared back, sick of her trying to destroy everything good in my world. “Stay out of my way, and it’ll be fine.”

“He deserves better than you. Don’t ever forget that.” She leaned in close to me—personal space, what’s that?—and I resisted the urge to lean away. “You’ll never be enough for him.”

The knife in my heart twisted. If I were the girl for him, he’d let me in. If I could measure up, I’d be part of his life off the phone as much as on. If I could only be enough, I just might be his One.

If only.

I looked back at Ryan stepping out into the sunlight, surrounded by people who’d been in his life forever, and watched his easy smile return. He looked like the Ryan I’d always admired from afar. And here I was again, admiring from afar, even though he’d kissed me senseless not five minutes before. In secret, of course. It didn’t take a genius to figure out things were no longer what I’d thought they were between Ryan and me.
 

The sad fact was, they probably never had been.

Chapter Twenty-Two

“Last time,” Cassie called as we got back into formation. She’d led us through our paces all morning so she could give us pointers while Sarah Jane did the full cheer routine with us.

We’d started cheer practice extra early to beat the heat, but Mother Nature still had the last laugh. Sweat soaked our shirts; empty water bottles overflowed the recycling bin at the edge of our practice area. It was like cheering on the sun.

We lunged and rippled and stunted our way through the aggressive routine, botching the dance sequence but nailing the stunts. Except the swan-dive basket toss that turned into a pike. Still, not bad for only a few practices. The team totally had competition potential.

Sarah Jane had errands to run and wanted company, but she needed to talk to Cassie about job shadowing her as regional liaison for her Gamma training. I headed to the bleachers where Nichele had been cheering us on. Time to dig for information.

“The stunts are really sharp,” she said as I met her coming off the last step. “You’re going to be great at camp.”

“Thanks. I wish you were coming too. You’re an unbelievable flier.”

Nichele blushed. “I keep working on my back handspring-back tuck. It just makes me nervous.”

“That goes away after a while. When it does, you’ll be a shoo-in for the team.”

We found shade under the bleachers—an ironic choice of location, for sure—and I popped open a water. “Man, it feels good out of the sun. I’ll never get used to the heat here.”

I gazed out over the practice fields, watching Nichele’s furtive glances toward the other end of the bleachers out of the corner of my eye. She even positioned herself so she wouldn’t have to face it head on.

I glanced over that way and shook my head. “So that’s where it happened? You’d think they could’ve chosen somewhere a little more private.”

Nichele nibbled her thumbnail.

“I mean, who’d have thought it?” I took another swig. “But if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. I just don’t think someone should be holding the photos over their heads.”

“I don’t think it’s meant to be,” she said quietly. “Cameron’s the one who’ll be hurt.”

She looked away, and I waited. Seconds ticked by as I watched the lightbulb go on. She turned back toward me, her eyes growing wider as it hit her full force.
 

The Wickeds had been careful to keep a lid on the pictures—can’t use them as blackmail if the story gets leaked—but Nichele had just acknowledged their existence. Since Nichele wasn’t a Wicked, the only way she could’ve known about them was if she’d taken them herself.

“I’m not going to out you,” I said softly, when I thought she might burst into tears. “And you don’t have to tell me why. I know you wouldn’t have done it if you’d had a choice.”

Nichele blinked hard, but stayed silent.

“I know you’re scared. I’ve been targeted by her too. But I want to help, and I’m trying. Trust me that I’m going to fix this, okay?”

She nodded, mute and fighting back tears. She gathered up her purse and water, but I stopped her before she ran. Until I had a plan to take down the Wickeds, the least I could do was tell her the one strategy I was sure of. “Just promise me one thing?”

Nichele looked like promises were the last thing on her mind, but she gave a tiny nod.

“Promise me you’ll find yourself some backup. Don’t ever let her get you alone.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

Sarah Jane and I grabbed some drive-through food and parked under a tree near the library. It had taken a while of feeling the wind in my hair to stop dwelling on Heather and Lexy, and on Nichele getting sucked into a fight that wasn’t hers. But the momentary reprieve from that mental anguish was quickly replaced with the Ryan drama.

How was it possible I could feel so much for him so fast, even when it looked more and more like it was a one-way street?

I’d never been down this path before. My misadventures with Dan hadn’t come anywhere close to this. With Ryan, everything felt exciting and confusing and like I was being pulled in two directions at once. All of the things we’d talked about for years at church—about taking dating slowly and putting God first—came flooding back.

It was so easy to nod and agree on principle when it was just a hypothetical situation. Testing out the God-first dating theory on a vague romance-to-be-named-later. It was another thing entirely when you were being swept off your feet by your very own Charming.

Dating theories suddenly felt a lot less vague and a whole lot more complicated. Was it love or lust or just being caught up in the romance and bigness of it all?

“Can I ask you something?” I swallowed a bite of cheeseburger. “Something personal, I mean.”

Sarah Jane munched a fry. “Shoot.”

“How did you know you were in love with Mark? Like, when it first happened?”

“Wow. I don’t know, J. That was a long time ago.”

“Can you think about it? It’s kind of important.”

Sarah Jane sat back, sipping her drink.

“I’d been crazy about guys before I met Mark,” she said after a while. “Always wondering what they were doing, were they thinking about me, were they going to call. But that was more like infatuation.”

Which sounded exactly like what I was doing with Ryan. “How’d you know when it changed?”

“I think it was when I got to know him. Really
know
him. I stopped wondering what he was doing and started wondering how he was feeling. If he had football practice, I’d wonder how he did and if his knee was aching from wind sprints and up-downs. If he had an argument with his parents, I’d want to know if he was okay and if he needed to talk.” She lifted a shoulder in a half shrug. “To me, that’s love. It’s knowing someone well and connecting with them deep down. Caring about the person inside, not just the person they let the rest of the world see.”

“What if they don’t let you see the person inside?”

She sighed. “It’s hard to know Ryan. It was horrible when Mrs. Steele died. Cassie, Ryan, Lexy . . . none of them knew how to cope, I don’t think. Cassie’s come a long way, mostly because of the Cindys. But Ryan and Lexy changed in really fundamental ways.”

My heart went out to Ryan, and I wished again that he’d open up to me. Though I wasn’t holding my breath after the incident at the banner party. Lexy, on the other hand, didn’t get nearly as much sympathy from me. I felt bad about that, but it’s hard to sympathize with someone who treats the world like her ashtray. “How did Lexy used to be?”

“Like us.”

That took a minute to sink in. “‘Like us’ as in like the Cindys?” No way was I buying that. Lexy was Wicked to the core.

“Cassie was already a Cindy, and her mom was a high-level Delta. Lexy would’ve been in the freshman recruit class that spring. She was already pegged for the invitation.”

“Lexy
knew
about the Sisterhood?”

“She’d been groomed for it, but never in a way that compromised Society secrets.”

“And then she went over to the dark side?”

“Lexy and I had been friends since we were in gymnastics together in middle school. She couldn’t face me after she confessed what happened in the car that day. Once the painkillers wore off, and she realized what she’d said . . .” Sarah Jane’s voice trailed off, and she busied herself putting our wrappers and boxes into the bag. “She pushed us away after the funeral. And the Wickeds embraced her because she’s incredibly strong. Our loss was their gain. She would’ve been a good Cindy.”