Cursed (32 page)

I turned to see Shane sitting on the log where I
had been. I wanted to run to him but I stayed very still. I put the
seashell down and waited for him to talk.

He never spoke just sat staring at the fire as
if not realizing I was there. His face looked devastated.

I walked toward him lost in the fear I had
imagined him.

“Shane are you really there?” I asked him
feeling terrified he was dead like Jaime had been.

He nodded, “Yeah Aimee I am. I waited for you,
you never came. Again you left me. I was pissed and I went to
Blakes' and he told me everything he said.”

I felt anger inside myself brewing, I wanted to
kill Blake suddenly. It felt like my anger was slightly
exaggerated.

He lifted his face to meet mine, “I was so angry
at him I drove everywhere looking for you, I just wanted to tell
you the truth about what I think and whatever. I looked everywhere
for you but I couldn't find you until I stopped to get gas and the
old guy who sells his worms as bait there was telling Mike, the guy
who owns the bakery how he would swear he saw the crazy James’ girl
running on the highway by the trail here.”

He laughed and dragged a hand through his messy
hair that I loved, “The funny thing about knowing someone for
eighteen years Aimes is that you get to know certain things about
them. I knew you would come to this beach.”

He looked angry with me for a reason I couldn’t
place. I wondered what else Blake had told him since I had pretty
much divulged everything. My stomach hurt thinking about the ways I
had betrayed him and vice versa.

I trembled stopping dead in my tracks before I
lashed out at him and waited for him to finish. I needed to calm
myself before I spoke to him.

“I don’t know what to say.” He looked defeated,
it made me sick.

I felt a trigger snap in my brain, “YOU DON’T
KNOW WHAT TO SAY? YOU CAME ALL THIS WAY TO TELL ME THAT? AFTER YOU
TOOK MY VIRGINITY AND AGREED TO COMMIT ME IN THE SAME DAY, ALL YOU
HAVE TO SAY IS YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY? WHAT THE FUCK?”

He looked sick, “Aims, please. The story is just
so crazy and you believe it.”

“Get away from me.” The words hurt me, they cut
into my soul.

“Maybe there is something, you know like a
tumor. Aims you’re living at the beach alone.” He was pleading with
me.

“I know that Shane, I know I’m alone. None of
the fucking assholes in my life believe me.” I looked up at him,
“Well except Aleks. I’m sure he’ll be here any minute. At least he
hasn’t abandoned me.” It was a low blow, I knew that, I also knew
Aleks wasn't coming and I was truly alone.

He flinched, I saw anger flash in his eyes,
“What do you want me to do? Aimee what do you want? I will do
anything?”

I challenged him, “Believe me.”

He slumped, “Aimee, there isn’t anything wrong
with you that I can see. You seem fine to me, come home with me. I
wish you’d just come to me in the beginning of all of this. I wish
you’d trusted me. I hate the fact we've had all these secrets."

He stepped forward putting his hands over
mine.

I hadn’t noticed the taste of him that lingered
in the air but as he neared me and touched me, my skin became
electric.

I wanted to go home, I wanted a shower, I wanted
to trust him but I couldn’t trust myself, not yet. I felt every
move he made in the air around me. It scared me.

He snatched his hands back, “Owe Jesus you
shocked me.”

I felt my eyes flutter from the ecstasy of
touching him.
“Go Shane.” I breathed heavily using all the restraint I had inside
of me to stop myself from lashing out at him and enjoying the feel
of him again.

“Blake told me you’ve been seeing that Aleks guy
behind my back the entire time we’ve been seeing each other. Is
that why you want me to leave?”

The words hung out in the air, they felt like a
black hole taking everything good with them.

I didn’t fight with him because if I stopped
fighting with myself I would lose control and suddenly I knew I
would hurt him. My hands wanted to hold him.

He looked so hurt by everything, “Nothing to
say? Well anyway I knew you were here and I just wanted to give you
this.”

He pulled a piece of paper from his pocket.

His arm shook with rage as he held it out in the
air for me, “Take the fucking letter you wrote me Aimee. I don’t
want those feelings or memories because I know now that you’re just
like your sister. You’re just like her.”

He walked toward me looking like he would hurt
me.

He stood over me taking up all the space.

He loomed menacingly. I could hear his breath on
the breeze.

He put the letter into my hands roughly, “Take
the fucking thing Aimee. Just take it back, take it all back I want
to be free of you.”

I flinched away from him so scared of what he
would do next, tears poured down my face.

He looked at me like I was nothing more than a
nuisance.

I let him back away before I whispered, “I love
you.”

He turned away from me to walk down the beach, I
wanted to stay frozen in my tracks but foolishly I ran to him as
fast as I could, “Shane wait, please.” I grabbed his arm pulling
him back to me.

The minute his skin came in contact with mine I
felt it, I was pulling from him. He stood motionless as I filled
up. The feeling was more joy than I had ever felt. I inhaled him
through my hands somehow. I let go hurting myself as if cutting off
a vein feeding me. He shivered suddenly and swayed like he drank
too much or stood up suddenly. Afraid of touching him I backed away
as he got his bearings.

He looked confused but turned away again leaving
me standing on the beach alone.

I hated Blake in that moment, it was fleeting
and immature but I couldn’t help myself, I didn’t move as I watched
Shane get smaller and smaller. I felt cold and alone even though I
the sun shone on me.

I blinked realizing he was gone, probably had
been for some time. I had stood there for a very long time watching
the place he had entered the forest leaving me forever. I knew I
had made the wrong choice when I had met Aleks and losing Shane was
more painful than losing Aleks. I had never realized that losing
him meant losing the person I wanted to be and the life I wanted to
have.

I turned and walked back to my campfire to stoke
it for the night. I knew I would have to go home sooner than later
and at that moment later sounded better.

The night was a cold one, even I felt the breeze
coming off of the water.

I heard rustling in the woods and hoped it was a
wolf or bear coming to attack me and leave me in the woods to
die.

I realized suddenly I would never die.

I had foolishly drunk from a demon.

In my despair I must have fallen asleep in
between the logs and rocks because I woke up feeling refreshed
again. I didn’t know how long I had slept but the summer fog had
come in thick. On the north coast the best way to tell when summer
had hit was the fog, it rolled in every night at six and rolled out
at eleven the next day. I was unable to see beyond a few feet in
front of me, the fire was long gone out and cold even. I assumed I
must have had one of those huge sleeps again. My hair was soaked
from the mist in the fog and my fleece hung soaked on my shoulders.
I curled my legs into me and waited for death to come and claim
me.

After a very long wait I knew I was finished
with this transition phase of my life and needed to either be an
undead or to die or to just be what I was in this moment. I stood
stretching my legs and arms.

I started the long trek back to the trail, it
had been more than three days no doubt and I was ready to start my
life all over again. I clearly wasn’t a threat to my family as long
as I didn’t touch any of them. We had gone years without touching
and it wasn't like I would have a boyfriend or any friends when I
got there. I got to the sandy beach but stopped walking. A grey
figure sat on the sand looking down. I could tell immediately it
was Aleks. He looked bad, weak and exhausted which I knew was
impossible.

I walked toward him but he never lifted his
face.

“I forgive you for leaving me with Dorian.” I
spoke quietly, I was defeated and tired of being alone.

He looked up, “Don’t forgive me. Never forget
what I have taken from you.” His voice felt lost to me, I didn’t
recognize it at all.

I walked to him getting lost in the beauty and
stood between his legs. I wanted to hug him and cuddle into him,
just as I always did when I saw him but I remembered the look on
Shane’s face and knew I would never be able to get that memory out
of my mind.

He raised his face and met my gaze, “I love you
so much Aimee, it hurts so much to be away from you. I can’t bring
myself to actually leave you.”

I dropped to my knees accepting that my fate was
to be with him and even through it all a part of me loved him
still.

I leaned into him, “Stay with me through this
Aleks, I need you as much as you need me.”

I knew we were both alone in the world and I had
spent more than enough time alone, okay it had been a few days but
it was enough to drive me to insanity. It wasn’t a cruel fate
resigning myself to being with him but it felt dirty. I was scared
Shane was lurking around the woods watching me, seeing me snuggle
into Aleks even though it was him I loved.

“I need answers Aleks.”

He hugged me burrowing his face into my
neck.

He smelled me ignoring my statement, “I feel so
much better when you’re with me.”

I couldn’t help but agree but I felt worried
touching his skin. I kept my hands to cloth and tried not to think
about what had happened with Shane.

“Dorian told me something about your dad, he
said he had something to do with my moms death.”

His voice sounded hollow, “He did?”

“Yeah, I know your sick right now but I need you
to tell me what that means.”

He smiled, “I’m fine Aimee, you can’t hurt me
unless you leave me again.”

I smiled and cuddled into him, at least someone
wanted to be with me.

He shook his head, “No more running away.” His
voice still sounded hollow.

I slapped his chest; “The time where you get to
dick me around and not share any secrets with me has past. I need
and deserve at least the truth.”

He nodded exhaling harshly, “I know that but I
don’t know how to tell you. This is serious Aimee. You know how you
always say Garden variety this and garden variety that? My curse
was not one of those garden variety ones, my dad angered a man
whose powers still are unmatched to this day.”

“No matter what I say please try to remember I
love you.” He whispered into my ear.

I nodded and waited for some very serious
answers to be laid out on the table.

He looked like he was trying to gather strength
before he started to speak, I didn’t know what to say so I sat
there in silence waiting.

Finally he spoke, “My dad is immortal too, when
I was young he did something horrible. He raped and murdered a
woman. I found him drunk with a woman dead beside him. I cleaned up
the mess for him and hid the body. I thought it wasn’t his fault, I
thought he had been so drunk it must have been an accident.”

A small tear left his eye making its slow trek
across his face, “Many times that year people came looking for the
woman, she was the medicine mans daughter. He was devastated that
she had run away like that, they had apparently fought over whom
she would marry. He used his magic eventually to try to find her. I
don’t know exactly how it works but it somehow told him what had
really happened. He showed up at my house when I was twelve, he was
angry. He cursed my dad in hopes my dad would murder our entire
family. He cursed me with a type of immortality that I would
forever feel responsible for my dads actions.” His voice wavered
slightly but he cleared his throat.

“He cursed me so that I would be forced to clean
up after my dad every time. I would be forced to help the victims
left behind and from their suffering I would get my sustenance. I
would heal them over time from the shadows. I have not seen my dad
for over six hundred years.” He stopped speaking as if unable but I
knew that was it. He was done even though an incomplete feeling
hung in the air between us.

I allowed the knowledge to fill my brain and the
feeling of heartbreak and anger to overwhelm me.

“Your dad murdered my mom.” It was a
statement.

He nodded, “I am so sorry Aimee.”

“You came here to clean up the mess.” Again a
statement.

He nodded remorsefully.

“What went wrong, how did we end up here?”

He smiled softly, “You. I fell for you the
moment I saw you. I spent too much time with you, I loved you. I
couldn’t focus on what I was doing. You sat on the side of the road
telling me everything, you were so perfect. You missed your mom the
way I missed my wi… well my family. You were right this is all my
fault.”

I flinched wondering if he was going to say
wife. I wanted to comfort him but I was not completely finished
with the emotions I had brewing inside of me. I wanted answers more
than anything at that moment though, “What does it mean now that
your curse is gone?”

He grimaced, “My dad’s victims will suffer
incredibly, no one will help them.” He looked sickened by it all,
“I wont ever feel joy or peace again. I am now just a lost soul. I
will forever be stuck in the in between.”

“You still have all of your abilities?”

He nodded looking at me incredulously.

I knew he was wondering how I was being so
technical in it all but I had shut off my emotions for a moment to
process what was going on. I was unable to feel sorry for him while
I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself.