Curtain Call (11 page)

 

 

“Are you ready for this?” I asked.

Max adjusted the clipboard in front of him on the table, took a sip of his water, and grinned at me. “Am I ever.”

I went to open the door to the hallway. I peered out at the small crowd gathered. “We'll be seeing auditions for the female lead right now. If you could line up here so I can give you a number, that would be great.”

When Max and I had begun planning auditions, we had decided to be as professional as possible. Max had been on several auditions so I let him take the lead. Now that I was handing out numbers to three girls I felt silly. The girls, however, seemed slightly giddy as they took their numbers, and handed me their questionnaires.

“We'll see number one, Allison, first,” I said.

Allison followed me into the room, tossing her long blonde hair over her shoulder and throwing a flirty smile toward Max. I handed him her sheet, and we shared a smirk.

“Why do you want to audition for this short rather than any of the others?” Max asked.

Allison struck a pose, one hand on a hip. She replied, “My methods prof thought this would be good for me. To stretch myself as a performer.”

I frowned. Crossing my arms in front of me, I asked, “Can you sing?”

With a roll of her eyes, Allison waved her hand. “Of course.”

Max turned on the charm then, flashing Allison his trademark smile complete with glinting white teeth. “Can you favor us with a sampling?”

I rolled my eyes at Max's choice of wording, but Allison immediately launched into an a capella version of “I Feel Pretty” from West Side Story. She twirled around the room as she trilled the song. Even though she rubbed me the wrong way, I had to admit she sounded good. Thankfully we still had at least two other girls to audition.

I leaned back in my seat and watched with what I hoped was a critical eye as she read the scene with Max. She was good in the role but she didn't blow my mind. Still if we chose her, she'd make our senior project work well. I scribbled a note to that effect on her sheet.

The rest of the auditions flew by. We saw mostly theater majors, but a few people just interested in acting auditioned as well. The evening was winding down, and we were packing up our stuff when there was a knock at the door.

“Come on in,” Max called.

The door opened and my heart stopped as Josh walked in.

“What are you doing here?”

Josh held out a sheet that looked suspiciously like an audition sheet. Max reached out and took it. “I'm glad you could make it,” he said.

I turned to him feeling both confused and betrayed. “
You
invited him to audition? Why?”

“Because I'm good,” Josh said. “And I haven't acted in a long time.”

“You are,” I acknowledged quietly as I took his sheet. My hand trembled. “Who are you auditioning for?”

“The male lead,” Josh said.

My heart sank. Even without seeing him audition, I knew we had to give the part to him. I gasped. Josh and Max both looked at me with open curiosity. The words froze inside my mouth. I had written the part for Josh. Of course I had. He was whom I pictured as I crafted each scene, but I never thought he would actually play the role.

Max handed Josh the script. “Okay, here's the scene we've been…”

“Don't bother,” I interrupted.

“Hannah, come on,” Max said.

Josh's face flashed with anger. He opened his mouth to say something, but I shook my head, locking eyes with him. “You don't need to read. You have the part.”

Max looked at me in surprise. “I'm sorry,” I said. “He's perfect for the part. Just trust me. You'll be so happy with him, I promise.”

I grabbed my coat and backpack. “I have to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow, Max.”

My footsteps echoed as I clattered out of the room and down the hallway. At the top of the sweeping purple-y pink staircase I paused, listening to see if anyone was following me. No one was. I was a little disappointed, part of me had hoped that Josh would try to catch up with me. Maybe it had been a bit melodramatic of me to run out of the room like that, but I felt odd about casting Josh in my play. The step felt so monumental that I wanted to talk to him about it in private, which I probably could have done had I just waited. With a sigh, I pulled on my coat then shrugged on my backpack.

The cold February night wrapped around me. For a moment I thought about just going home, but I didn't want to talk to Hayley about all of this yet. Instead I decided to take a walk, maybe head over to Crossroads and get some cheesecake to go. I needed to process all that had just happened. In the span of two minutes, I had made myself look even more like a lunatic.

I kicked at a dirty pile of snow. How was I going to explain this one? Give Josh the lead in my show and then run away. I laughed to myself. Yes, I was a lunatic. After meeting Christy, I had really been trying to sort through my issues with Josh. Angela had been right. I had a lot of choices. I just had to make them.

Over the past week I had come to the conclusion that I wanted to get back together with Josh, but I also knew that we couldn't go back to the way things were, and on that front, I was stumped. I had no idea how to bridge the gap. And we still hadn't talked.

My phone buzzed in my jeans pocket signaling a text. I sighed but pulled my phone out anyway. Josh.

WHERE RU HEADING?

My breath fogged the air around me as I peered at my phone.

CROSSROADS

After tapping out the message, I let my fingers hover before pushing send. I knew he'd meet me there without even asking. For the first time in a long time that felt like the right thing to do. Even though I knew I looked crazy for running out, I had needed to clear my head. After just a few minutes alone in the cold, fresh brought me to my senses. That was something I needed to be able to do when I got confused. I would have to share that with Josh.

Strange how I had never needed this kind of time alone before. Or had I and just never realized it?

I paused at the busy intersection, waiting for the light to change. The glow from Crossroads' front windows spilled onto the snow. The thought of cheesecake, hot coffee, and Josh propelled me on the last leg of my journey. A flitty excitement danced inside me. I knew it was the thought of seeing Josh that made my knees feel weak, even though I had seen him not even fifteen minutes ago. Maybe we could finally talk. I could tell him how excited and honored I was to have him in the show. Tell him without an audience.

The door to Crossroads felt especially heavy, or maybe I just felt especially lightheaded. I breathed in the welcome warmth and delicious smells. Fantastic sizzling sounds emanated from the grill in the back. Waitresses bustled about with orders. I approached the hostess stand to grab a menu and came face to face with Christy.

“Hi,” I said not bothering to conceal my surprise.

“Hannah!” Her face broke into a huge smile, making little dimples appear on each cheek. This was a different girl than I had met earlier.

“You work here?” I asked. She was a freshman in high school, so she could only be fourteen or fifteen years old. That seemed a little young to have a job.

Christy shook her head, the short blond bob swinging with each movement. “Nah, my dad owns this place,” she said. “I'm just helping out tonight. I finished my homework early. Didn't feel like going home yet, so ya know.”

“That's pretty cool,” I said as I reached for the menu she offered me.

“You can sit anywhere you want,” Christy said. “I'll make sure someone comes over right away.”

I grinned. Christy would be a fun kid to get to know. My smile faded slightly as the worry loomed that I might not be able to help her. With a shake of my head, I pushed the thought away, settling determination in its place. I would help her because that's what felt right.

My eyes landed on Josh a moment later, and I approached his booth in surprise. He turned with a smile playing on his lips. I slid into the booth across from him. Neither of us said anything for a while; we just sat together. I found myself staring at his big blue eyes trying to remember the first time I had really noticed him. The night he saved me from being hit in the head by a basketball during our junior year in high school. Our gazes had locked with a physical force that I thought was only something reserved for fiction.

The way he looked at me now sent shivers up and down my spine, and made the little hairs on my arms stand on end. There was nothing chaste in the way he was looking at me, but the intimacy went well beyond physical attraction. This was a man who knew me to the depths of my soul. I loved him. And yet something still held me back from proclaiming that and moving forward again. I felt like a truck stuck in the mud just spinning my wheels. If I had to put a name to it, I guess Hayley had been right. I was scared to death.

“How'd you get here before me?”

“Hi, to you too,” Josh said a small smile tugging on the corners of his mouth. “I was already on my way over. I took the shortcut.”

“Oh.” We lapsed into silence.

“So why'd you give me the part?” Josh asked finally. He wrapped his fingers around his water glass.

I slid out of my coat. “I don't know.”

Josh smirked. “Oh, come on, Han, of course you know why you gave me the part.”

The tone of his voice chafed at my nerves. He sounded smug and teasing, like things were back to being simple and easy between us. And it made my heart ache because I realized how much I missed him.

“And why is that?”

“You gave me the part because I am the best,” Josh said.

I forced myself to roll my eyes. “Oh please,” I said. “I just felt sorry for you. That's all.”

Josh laughed and caught my hand across the table. “I'm really excited,” he said, suddenly turning serious. “It will mean we get to spend more time together.”

I shivered as Josh rubbed the pad of his thumb over the palm of my hand. “I wrote the part for you. I mean, I wrote the part with you in mind.”

Just then Christy arrived at the table with a glass of water for me. Her eyes widened as she saw Josh holding my hand, and I knew she was putting the pieces together. She raised her eyebrows and gestured toward Josh with her head. I could feel the heat of a blush rising in my cheeks, so I nodded quickly. When I glanced over at Josh, I saw that he was watching the whole exchange with a bemused expression on his face.

Christy hustled away, but not before grinning at me like a maniac.

“And who is that?” Josh asked, a teasing note in his voice.

“Just a girl I know,” I said. “So what do you want to order?”

Josh let go of my hand and opened his menu. “We can change the subject if you want,” Josh said. “I was thinking about an omelet and cheesecake.”

“Ew.” I wrinkled my nose at the combination. Eggs just gave me the heebie jeebies. “I think I'll stick with cheesecake.”

Josh folded his menu and rested his elbows on the table. His teasing expression fled, and was replaced by a seriousness that made my stomach twist. “When are we going to talk about us, Hannah?”

My breath hitched. A weird tightness squeezed my chest. I couldn't explain what was still holding me back. I just hadn't pictured having such a deep conversation in a restaurant.“Not now,” I said, my voice sharper than I intended.

Josh slumped against the back of the booth. His sigh seemed to emanate from the very depths of his soul. And he looked so…sad. “When?”

I felt my hands start to tremble, so I knotted them together in my lap. “Soon,” I said. “I promise. Just not here, at Crossroads. Not with so many people around.”

“You always have an excuse, don't you?” The hard edge in Josh's voice made me wince.

“I…I…”

“Look around. No one cares what we are talking about. You just don't want to talk here because you still can't see past yourself.” Josh sighed and rubbed a hand over his eyes. “Look. I'm tired of this. We take one step forward and then two steps back.” He looked up at the waitress as she came to take our order.

I had so many things that I wanted to tell Josh, so many things that I wanted to share with him, but sitting in the middle of Crossroads didn't feel like the right time or place. Why couldn't he understand where I was coming from? A little nagging doubt tugged at the edges of my awareness. Could Josh be right about this? Was I still shutting him out and focusing too much on myself?

"What can I get for you guys?" The waitress tapped a pen against her order pad, and smiled wearily at us.

"Rough night?" Josh asked.

The waitress smiled at him, not in the flirty way that most girls smiled at Josh. She just seemed grateful that someone had noticed. "Long day at school."

I studied her a bit closer. Her long blonde hair was caught back in a loose, messy ponytail, and under normal circumstances I might not have noticed her. The more I watched her eyes, though, the more I thought she seemed familiar. Then it clicked.

"Hey, are you related to Christy?" I blurted.

The waitress's eyes widened with curiosity as she turned toward me. "Yeah, I am," she said. "She's my little sister. How do you know her? Oh no, did she do something to your car? I know she can't drive yet. I swear we'll pay for it. Just give me your number, okay?"

I almost laughed. She sounded exactly like Christy the day I'd met her. "No, nothing like that. I promise," I said. "I just know her from an afterschool activity she's in. I'm just helping out."

The waitress looked noticeably relieved. Then she said, "She's a good kid. Listen, can I get you guys anything?"

I looked over at Josh to find him watching me intensely. "Let's just get some tiramisu cheesecake," he said.

Our waitress nodded. When she was gone Josh crossed his arms across his chest. "You're helping out with an after school activity? What activity is that?"