Curtain Call (17 page)

 

 

The jangling of my phone jarred me from sleep. Still bleary-eyed, I turned on the lamp on my nightstand and answered.

“Han…Hannah?” The tiny voice wavered and cracked.

I blinked my eyes to get them to focus. “Christy?”

“Ye—yes, it's me,” she replied. She drew a shuddery breath.

“What's wrong? Are you okay?” My alarm clock informed me that it was twelve thirty-two in the morning. Something had to be majorly wrong for her to be calling me now.

“No, yes. I guess. Can you come get me?” Christy asked, sounding just as young as she actually was.

I scrambled out of bed, my foot getting caught on the edge of my sheets. As I stumbled around my room looking for my jeans, I pinned the phone between my ear and my shoulder. “Where are you?”

“The Rock Club,” she said in a tiny voice.

I froze. “In Rock Crest? What are you doing in Rock Crest at twelve-thirty in the morning?”

Christy started to bawl. Between sobs and hiccups she said, “I met this guy. He's a PA on the movie, and a bunch of the crew was going out tonight, and he invited me, and he's
so
cute. I had to go, you know? And then they decided to come to the Rock Club, and I can't get in there. So they all went in without me. And I've been sitting in the car for over two hours. And I'm cold and sc — sc — scared!”

The last words came out on a wail.

“Stay where you are,” I said. “I'll be there in forty-five minutes. If your…friends come out, call me immediately. Do not go anywhere with them. You hear me?”

Christy sniffled. “Will you call me back in a few minutes? It's creepy out here.”

I promised before we hung up. After tugging on my jeans and a t-shirt, I called Josh. Even though I knew I could take Hayley's car I wanted Josh to take me. I needed him for support, and maybe for protection. Who knew what trouble we might run into at the Rock Club.

While I listened to the phone ring, I thought about the past week. With most rehearsals canceled while we fixed sets, Josh and I hadn't talked much. When I had calmed down from everything, I had actually been grateful for Josh's self-control.

“Hannah?” Josh's voice was thick with sleep.

“Hey,” I said. “Um. Listen, I'm sorry to wake you up, but I need a favor.”

“What's up?”

I clutched the phone closer to my ear. “You remember Christy, right? She's stuck up in Rock Crest at the Rock Club. I was wondering if maybe you could…”

“I'll pick you up in five minutes,” Josh said.

While I waited for Josh, I wrote Hayley a note. As I stood on the front stairs, I realized that out of all the people Christy could have called, she had chosen me. Beyond being flattered, I knew then that all those weeks of counseling had made a real difference. Her future looked more solid. I felt my lips curve into a smile. Here I was standing in the chilly April air in the middle of the night, and yet I felt amazing despite my worry for Christy.

When Josh pulled up, I hurried down to his car. As I shut the passenger side door, I smiled over at him. He had on pajama pants and a t-shirt. His hair was still mussed from sleep. He really did look adorable with bed head. He grinned back at me. Tentatively I felt like the weirdness from last week could just melt away without anything being said. Then his eyes dropped to my mouth, and I felt my insides quiver. Obviously things were not quite as simple as I had thought.

Josh eased his car onto the nearly deserted expressway. A large semi truck pulling a trailer roared by us. I took a deep breath. “Thanks for coming with me. I need to call Christy real quick.”

Her phone rang once before she picked up. “Hannah?” Her voice cracked and I could hear the tears.

“What's wrong?” I asked. I could feel the panic rising in my chest. She was so young. I needed to stay strong for her, especially if I wanted to pursue a career in this. Josh reached over and took my hand. He squeezed it, but kept his eyes trained on the road.

Christy sniffled. “People are starting to leave the club. I don't want to go anywhere with them.”

“No, that's good. Don't go anywhere,” I said. Another truck roared past us. “We're probably thirty minutes away now. Is there any place you can hang out until we get there? Like a coffee shop or restaurant?”

“Hang on,” Christy said. She must have pulled the phone away from her ear because there were a few muffled sounds, and the metallic click of the car door opening. Then she said, “Okay, I see a family restaurant across the street. I'm heading there now.”

“Okay, let's stay on until you get there,” I said.

“Well, I'm here now,” Christy said, sounding more like herself. “So now what am I supposed to do?”

“Order some food,” I said. “Read a newspaper. Talk to the waitress. We'll be there soon, okay?”

“Okay,” Christy said with a melodramatic sigh. “Hey, Hannah?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

She hung up before I could say anything else, but the depth of gratitude in her voice filled my soul. I set my phone on the center console, and settled back into the seat. I watched the distant lights from towns and farms flash by as I considered what was happening right now.

“I applied for grad school,” I said. Josh made an encouraging noise so I continued, “For counseling. Maybe high school.”

Josh was quiet for a long time. I finally glanced over at him. “I think that's great.” He sounded sincere but confused.

I rushed on. “Here. I applied here.”

“I really do think it's great, Han,” Josh said. He smiled when I looked over at him.

“So why do you look so confused?” I asked. Josh let out a short chuckle. “I just never knew you were interested in that.”

“Oh,” I said. “Oh. Yeah. Angela dragged me along to peer counseling one week, and I decided it was good. Remember I mentioned it a while ago? That's where I met Christy.”

Josh got quiet again. When he spoke his voice was quiet. “I think that's great.”

“You've been saying great a lot in this conversation,” I said, trying for a teasing tone. My voice came out more choked up than I had intended.

“I'm not very good with words at one in the morning,” Josh said, a tiny smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I think…I think you've changed a lot in the past few months.”

“Not so much,” I started to argue. Fear gripped my stomach. This didn't sound like how I had thought it through in my head. Was he going to tell me that things were unfixable?

“Wait, let me finish,” Josh said. He paused while he switched lanes and passed a semi. “You've changed. And so have I. That's natural. If we didn't change we'd still be facing the same problems that started this whole…
thing
. But I think the way you've changed is amazing. You have a sense of where you want to go with your life now, and you seem comfortable in your skin again. I haven't seen that in a long time. Even you and Harlow are getting along.”

I felt myself relax. “I still don't think I've changed all that much.”

Josh shrugged. “I can see it. You've grown up. I really admire you for it.”

A warm glow spread over me. Then I remembered the other night. My good mood crashed. How could I bring that up? Did I want to bring it up? Did I want to know why he had stopped kissing me right as things heated up?

No. The answer was no. I didn't want to know why he had stopped, even though I was glad that he had respected me enough to hold me to my standards. What if he didn't want me anymore? In that way? Even if I wanted to hold off on that part of our relationship for the time being, I'd want it back eventually. When we got married.

My heart stuttered in my chest. I desperately wanted to marry Josh. Not this second, of course. And what if things really had changed?

“Have you changed?” I asked. The words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them.

Josh glanced over at me, his eyebrows drawn together. “Well, yeah, of course I have. We've both changed over the past few months. I'd be worried if we hadn't.”

I swallowed. “Aren't you…aren't you worried that since we haven't changed together, you know, that'll cause problems?”

“No,” Josh said. “I'm not worried. We've had a rough patch, Han, but it isn't like we haven't been talking. Things will smooth out with time.”

I digested his comments as he turned off on an exit ramp for the city of Rock Crest. He really hadn't given up on us. This whole time that I had been wringing my hands and obsessing over the state of our sex life, Josh had been focusing on the future. He knew that a few months of rockiness didn't negate the whole of our relationship.

“Do you know how to get to this place?” Josh asked.

“I can get directions. Hang on,” I said as I scooped up my phone. After a few searches and map requests I had decent grasp of where we were headed.

Josh maneuvered through the quiet streets. When we got near the club, traffic picked up. We located the restaurant, and Josh put the car in park. Before I could get out of the car, Josh grabbed my hand. He smiled at me.

“I know you're worrying about us, Han, but don't,” Josh said. “Nothing is going to change how I feel about you.”

I gave him a small smile in reply. “We still have a lot to talk about.”

“Do we?” Josh replied. “We don't have to hash everything out, Han. I accept things the way they are right now. I'll wait for you.”

“But we need to talk about the future,” I said. That wasn't quite what I wanted to say, but I couldn't think of any other way to express it. “You've practically earned sainthood this semester dealing with me.”

Josh laughed. “I'm no saint, Han. I've been angry with you. Furious. And I've had to back off even when all I wanted to do was take you back to bed with me. Nope, not a saint.”

His words gave me pause. As I studied him in the streetlight filtering into the car, I wondered at the differences to our approaches to this situation. I had always prided myself on being smart and levelheaded. Instead of feeling grown up about my choices though, I felt like I had regressed.

“I just never want to end up like Harlow.” As I said the words I acknowledged their truth, yet I cringed at the pettiness.

“Hannah, you'll never end up like Harlow. You and I are nothing like what happened to her,” Josh said.

“It's not just that she had Britney too young. I get the feeling that things with that Christian guy were a lot more serious than she let on. She pushed him away. Probably because she got pregnant, but who knows? She could have had a million other reasons. For all these years I thought I didn't get along with Harlow because we were so different,” I said. “I think the reason we didn't get along is because we're actually a lot alike.”

Josh sighed. “Our situation is nothing like Harlow's,” he repeated. “Come on. We better go get Christy.”

We climbed out of the car with a conversation that felt far from finished, but it gave me hope. I had finally pinpointed what was at the root of all this. I wasn't just afraid of ending up like Harlow by having a kid too young and giving up on my dreams. I was afraid of ending up like her because we were so very much alike. A fact I had let go unnoticed all these years.

“So where is she?” Josh asked.

“What do you mean?” I replied, joining him by the front window of the family restaurant. A large neon sign proclaimed they were open twenty-four hours, and there were indeed several patrons inside. None of them Christy. “Maybe she's in the bathroom. Come on. Let's go in. I can check there.”

Josh and I entered the diner through a kitschy revolving door. Rich greasy smells drifted toward us making my stomach rumble. Apparently I got hungry in the middle of the night. After a quick scan of the room I located the bathrooms along the back wall. With a sense of purpose, I hurried in that direction. She had to be in there. I didn't want to entertain any other options. Still, as I opened the door to a silent ladies room, a general sense of unease spread over me.

“Christy?” No answer. I walked slowly down the row of stalls pushing each door open as I passed. All empty.

I rejoined Josh in the entryway, panic rising like bile in my throat. “She's not there.”

Josh exhaled slowly. “Okay,” he said. “Let's ask someone here.” He approached a waitress leaning on the counter. “Excuse me, did a young girl come in here about an hour ago?”

“She's really short with blonde hair,” I added.

The waitress tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear and nodded. “She did. Sweet little thing. Ordered pie. Some guys came in and convinced her to go back to that club with them. I heard them promising they could sneak her in. Seems like trouble if you ask me.”

“Thanks,” I said, grabbing Josh's hand and dragging him out of the restaurant.

Outside on the sidewalk, we both looked at the club across the street. The place was still alive with light and a thumping bass.

“We have to go in there, huh?” I asked.

“I'm not exactly dressed for clubbing,” Josh said with a chuckle. We both glanced down at his pajama pants and started to laugh.

“Let me try calling Christy first,” I said. Hitting the redial button I listened as the phone went straight to voicemail. “She's not answering.”

“We're wasting time,” Josh said with the same urgency that I felt.

By the time we entered the club, it was almost one-thirty. According to the hours posted on the door, this place would be closing down in the next half an hour. The thick throng of people crammed from wall to wall made that fact hard to believe. Josh took my hand, holding it tightly as we threaded our way through the crowd.