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I followed the stars toward Hollywood and Vine. I took in the sights before my eyes. The looming Capitol Records building lit up with a Christmas tree high atop its needle. I almost forgot it was yet another holiday as I crossed the boulevard to the large loft building before me. I nodded to the valet as I crossed the boulevard,

“Good evening, Mr. Tres.”

“Almost morning, Carlos,” I said as I punched in my code and pulled opened the heavy glass doors. I crossed the marble floors of the lobby as I headed for the elevators. I got in and punched the button for the penthouse as it climbed quickly. I leaned against the wall of the elevator and thought it was slightly careless to feed so close to home. I got off the elevator at my floor as I headed toward my loft. I stood a moment with the keys in my hand as I placed my hands on my waist. I leaned my head as I took a breath then moved forward to unlock the door.

I stepped into the darkened loft as I could see far off the sun climbing into the sky. I was almost thankful for the installation of darkened panels to the loft. There were nights when I indeed lived like those that I faked heritage to. I smiled inwardly as I headed for the bedroom. She was lying on her stomach facing the window as I kicked off my shoes and tossed my jacket on a ghost chair sitting beside the bedroom door. I leaned on the edge of the bed as I sank down beside her. I ran my hands over her blonde hair then my hands over her back. She stirred as she opened her eyes,

“Fast food again?”

“Yeah,” I said as I placed a kiss on her lips. She wrinkled her nose,

“You smell like a bar.” I laughed as I pulled her close,

“I thought she was a waitress.” She shook her head as she settled against me. I held onto her as the sun rose high above into the sky now,

“Looks like another beautiful morning,” I said into her ear as she nodded and closed her eyes. I inhaled the scent of jasmine on her skin as I shut my eyes. I wondered about the girl on the train and if she would awaken at the correct stop. For a moment I felt almost guilty for having interrupted her commute but hoped it would lead her back to school where she belonged. A warm feeling came across me as I thought that I had done a good for someone beside myself.

I dreamt that I was on the train once again with the young girl. She wore a white sundress as she held onto her purse. I stared at her as she nodded to me,

“What are we doing back here?” She shrugged as she replied,

“I don’t know…I missed my stop because of you.” I looked around the train and noticed it was slightly different from the one I had rode with her. I looked down at my bloodstained clothes then to the girl once more.

“I stopped in time.” She shrugged once more as she looked out the window.

“Obviously you took more than I could handle because I didn’t wake up.” Her voice was filled with anger as the train pulled to a stop, I watched as she got to her feet. She shuffled past me as the doors opened and a bright light burst forth. I shielded my eyes from the rays of the sun as I turned slowly to take in the view. The girl had disappeared and I was encompassed with light now. I looked around as I heard low whispers all around me,

“You know you aren’t allowed back in,” I heard the distinct voice against the back of my neck now. I turned around to see that I was not alone.

“Then why am I here?” She was wearing the same clothes from the night of her death. The black corduroy jacket and blue jeans had been her favorite outfit when we went out on cold nights. Her curled blonde hair was pulled back away from her face. The shocking blue eyes were staring back at me as she smiled with her perfect pink lips.

“I don’t know, Rent. I sometimes wonder how I ended up here. I find it hard after all this time to accept that I’m going to be here for eternity. I’ve been told that I don’t have to worry about my loved ones and I’ll see them one day. But I’ve been told we will never be together. Can you tell me why?” There was silence as I stepped closer and reached out to touch her. Her eyes grew wide,

“You have to go back.”

“I can’t…” She shook her head quickly as she stepped away then as if hearing some voice within her, she turned and ran off into the cloud filled sky.

“Yasmine! Come back! I can’t leave, I’m stuck!”

I was talking to myself, I was sure of it now. I watched her as she reappeared as she grinned,

“Sure you can!” I felt a hard shove and fell forward and through the clouds below my feet. I let out a scream as I felt a hot blast of air against my face. I was falling fast now through the atmosphere as I shut my eyes. My arms and legs flailing all about. My heart pounded as could feel the earth getting closer, I opened my eyes just as I slammed against the pavement of the boulevard.

I didn’t die.

I lay on my stomach for a moment as I pushed myself up. I was lying atop Johnny Cash’s star, I could thank god for small blessings but chose not to. I looked up to the small crowd that had gathered, I took in a deep breath as I waved them off.

“I just took too many drugs,” I said as I turned toward an awaiting sedan. I watched the window open slowly; a hand emerged with an envelope. I walked over slowly as I reached for the envelope,

“He says if you try that again you won’t be getting up from the ground next time. Got it?” I looked up toward the sky as I said,

“Tell him I’ll stay out of his playground as long as he stays out of my head.” I cursed as I yanked the envelope and tore it open. I was staring at an obituary for the girl on the train. I cursed once more as I tossed it down.

“He says if you take another life that you’ll grow wings again.” A thousand years and the pain is still fresh in my head. I nodded as I leaned on the car,

“Tell him I said fine…can I go now?” There was a sigh as the voice continued,

“He said stop being such a fuck up and do something good for once.” I nodded and the window rolled up. I backed away from the car. I took in a deep breath as I heard the window again,

“And before I forget – and this is on a personal note – don’t talk to Yasmine the next time you see her.” I stepped close to the car as the window lowered and I could see who I was talking to clearly. It was like staring into a mirror even after all this time. He flashed me a smile as he said,

“Leave her alone, Dad.”

“Phillip?” The window rolled up as the sedan sped off. I cursed at the thought of my son being allowed in before myself,

“Goddamn you, old man.” I said into the cloud filled sky.

“Just because you moved doesn’t mean you ran away from your problems,” said Octavius in a low voice as I sat before him. I narrowed my eyes as I replied,

“You are aware we were cut from the same cloth?” He stared at himself in the mirror and admired his suit for a long moment before he replied,

“Maybe in a biblical sense but I’m not of the angelic breed, Rent.” I let out a deep laugh as I said,

“I guess you did lose a few brain cells when you hit the ground. You do know that we were kicked out for the same reason.” He stared off a moment before he looked back at me as he smiled,

“She really was a lovely girl…”

“…if only you had left her alone.” I heard the door open to the loft as I turned to see Aerin enter the room. We were jerked away from our moment as she asked,

“Is everything ok?”

“It couldn’t be better, dear Aerin,” said Octavius as he leaned forward and inspected his hair. I got to my feet as I stood beside him and leaned in to whisper,

“Your secret is safe with me, brother.” He nodded knowing he had a lot more to lose than myself. I turned to face Aerin as she took my hands into her own and soon we were sharing a kiss. I followed her from the room as Octavius continued to admire his image.

11.

The air was cold as I awoke to lying on a damp dirt floor, I could feel water beneath my skin as I shuddered. I managed to sit up as I let out a cry, I turned to feel the pain in my back. I stared at the bloody stumps on my skin as I let out a scream. I pulled my hands away quickly now as I slipped on the dirt floor, I could see I was lying in my own blood now. I slipped as I attempted to stand and fell on my stomach. My legs in pain I looked around and above to the sky. I could see the dark clouds from above. I didn’t understand what I had done to end up here. I looked around to see I had fallen into a sort of stable, immediately my nose was assaulted with the smell of animals and waste. I felt my stomach begin to turn as I expelled the contents of my stomach onto the ground. I let out a cry as I could not recall any of this happening before. I heard laughter from a stall.

“Who laughs at me? Is that you demon that caused my wings to be ripped from my body?” The laughter grew louder as I managed to stumble toward the sound. I stopped in horror as I stared down to my friend in the same state as myself. I sank to my feet as I reached out to touch his wounds,

“What monster has done this to us?” His eyes dark as they stared into my own,

“Atticus, our father made these wounds. We are being punished for sampling the fruits that were of our sister.” I sat back and shook my head,

“He would never harm us, Octavius. He loves us and what we did was not wrong.” I could hear the rain now pounding the roof of the stable and dripping in some places around us.

“What we did was wrong.”

“It was natural, she had no ill feelings toward us. I love her. Do you think he punished her as well?” He shrugged as he got to his feet,

“Help me, we should find something sharp to cut away the traces of where we are from. I fear some would not understand and we shall be harmed.”

“Should we look for her?”

“Oh forget that whore and find me a sharp object!” I did as he commanded, it was then that I noticed it was night now and I was without clothes. I stole into the small hearth and stole the basket of clothing that smelled of earth and sweat. I stopped as I took in the sharp axe and knew it was the only thing to save us from being found out. I carried the axe back to the stable as I stopped. I could hear dogs barking and stopped as I heard angry voices from the stable.

“Are you trying to steal my animals?” I took this to be the owner of the hearth.

“No, the rain…I needed shelter.” Octavius was cowering now beneath the large man as he held a blade. I stepped from the shadows as I said,

“If you cut him, I will kill you.” His eyes grew wide as he stared at my pale face,

“Monsters!” I watched as he clutched his chest and fell face forward into my blood on the ground. I looked to Octavius as I tossed him the clothes and pulled on a coat and pants,

“We have to kill him.” I could hear the dog growling and figured it had not eaten in ages. I kicked the man’s leg but he did not move.

“Brother, he did us no harm.”

“But he will.” I looked back as I stood in the doorway of the stable, the dog had seized this opportunity and attacked the man’s throat. Octavius laughed as he ran through the door,

“Looks like we’re safe. No one saw us.” I looked back to the hearth as a lone light shone through the window, I could see a small girl watching us. I waved and smiled to her as we disappeared into the night.

“I know you are only passing through, but I have to warn you that we have monsters roaming through these parts,” she said into my ear as I slept in her bed. I turned to face her as I said,

“What sort of monsters do you speak of?” Her hair was wild from the night before as she pulled the blankets tight to her bosom. She took a deep breath as she whispered,

“They call them nightwalkers. They attacked Old Magnus in his stable. The girl said she saw a man with pale skin and large white teeth. He had been drained of his blood!” She sank in her bed made of straw as I said,

“What if I told you he died from a dog bite?” She laughed as she shook her head, “Impossible, he loved that dog!”

“What if I told you I saw this.” Her eyes grew wide as she stared into my face and realizing that I was serious she was silent then said, “Oh bite me, please!” I was still for a moment as I smiled.

“I drank the whore’s blood,” I confessed to Octavius when we were farther down the road. Surrounded by vast empty fields, the air was cool against our faces. A forest lay beyond the field and if I squinted I could see an ocean beyond that. He looked at me with guilt,

“I did it as well.” We were quiet for the rest of our journey. We each other one another’s secret and for now it would go unspoken. If we didn’t talk about it, it didn’t happen. He stopped in the center of the road as he looked back at me,

“Brother, I promise I will find a way for us to get back.” I shook my head,

“I don’t think he’ll ever let us back in. And I’ve felt enough pain to know that I don’t want to go back to the way things were.” He nodded after a moment,

“Then we shall stay here on earth. We’ll have to live in shadows, neither one of us is able to answer questions.” The sun was shining now as I looked up to the sky and cursed him for sending us into darkness.

“Octavius, we must find shelter, I feel my skin will burn under this sunlight.”

“I agree,” he said as we moved into the fields and headed for the forest that lie far off.

We lived in darkness until the word of electricity spread. It was at that moment that I shunned the darkness and began my endless begging for Octavius to walk in the sun once more.