Cutting Loose (25 page)

“Oh, wow. I totally agree and I also
think we are all entitled to a secret...or two.” She turned to her and asked,
“Is that why you decided to be celibate?”

“Yeah, for the most part. It was hard
the first few years and a few relapses later, I finally got the strength to
resist all the sexual tension building up inside of me.”

“That takes some bravery to be able to
do. And I don’t be look at your man or anything, but he is cute. How can you
resist not wanting to fuck a man that fine?”

 Cassandra chuckled and said, “It’s not
that hard. Besides, he knows I’m celibate and he respects me that much more.
Besides, sex isn’t really that big of a deal to me, since it’s been a while
since I had some. But I know Chad will be worth the wait once we get married,
when and if that ever happens.”

“I’m sure it will. It’s only a matter of
time.”

“Sure is.” She paused and asked, “Do you
think it will go that far with Brett?”

Sabrina though about it for the first
time in a king time and it occurred to her that a part of her was hoping that someday
she would be married to Brett, whether it be a few months or few years from
now. But thought of it all made her want to take it all back, just for a split
second when she realized how close she came with Carl and how that turned out.

 She said to Cassandra, “Honestly, I
don’t know. I want to believe it can happen, but at the same time I try to be
genuine with myself and live in the present. Sometimes you get to the point
where you don’t want to get your hopes up into thinking things are going to be
great and end up putting your heart into something that was a total lie. I
don’t want to go through that again.”

“Oh, Rina,” Cassandra said leaning over
to Sabrina and wrapping an arm around her. “You have to stop doing that.”

“What?”

“Putting your guard up every time you
think you’re getting too close to someone. You have to learn to let it go.”

“It’s not that easy, Cassandra. At least
for me it isn’t.”

Cassandra stood up and said, “Rina, I
know you saw that movie Waiting to Exhale, didn’t you?”

“Sure did, and I read the book.”

“Okay, then I’m sure you can relate to
at least one of the characters. They were all going through something horrible
and life-shattering but they learned to get through it.” She slipped on a pair
of sunglasses, smiled and said, “And I know you remember the song Whitney
Houston’s song, ‘Exhale,’ right?”

“Yeah…”

Cassandra laughed and said, “I think
it’s time for you to exhale, Rina,” she said moments later.

“I know,” Sabrina said coolly, trying
not to tear up. “Time to let it go.”

Chapter Twenty-One:

Out on the Town

So what are we waiting for again?”
Sabrina asked Cassandra from across the table they had been sitting at for the
past half hour waiting for Larissa’s arrival with their dates. What was
supposed to be a nice night out on the town for Sabrina and Brett turned into a
double date when Cassandra and Chad showed up at the same restaurant as Sabrina
and Brett, so. Cassandra came up with the idea of a double date and being the
nice person that she was, Sabrina couldn’t say no. They walked around the park
for a little while and then they took pictures outside here and there of silly
things and of each other.

 After the sun went down they decided to
have dinner together at a French bistro that was buzzing with rave reviews
according to an article that Sabrina had read recently published in an issue in
Fabulous
and supposedly, it was very popular among A-list stars and had
great food.

So technically she was there to review
the restaurant and give feedback to everyone who read the magazine to bring new
business and make them look good. And since Brett claimed he once dined out at
the place a while back and was crazy about the food it wasn’t such a bad idea.

Up until half an hour ago they were
having a good time until Larissa called Cassandra and told her that she had some
news to spread and that it probably was a good idea for them to all sit down
and chat for old time’s sake.

“Larissa just text messaged me and said
she’s like five minutes away,” said Cassandra.

“I sure hope so,” Sabrina said coolly.
“Hell, it’s getting late and I have a million things to do tomorrow.”

“Am I one of those things?” Brett asked
with a big grin etched on his face.

Sabrina giggled and said, “Nice try but
I doubt that’s going to happen.”

“Oh, just like that massage you promised
me weeks ago? I suppose that’s not going to happen either, huh?”

“Ooh, what massage?” Cassandra chimed in
nosily.

Sabrina turned to her and said, “The one
I promised him after he beat me at tennis that time we played. I forgot all
about it.”

“Well, remember what I told you not too
long ago? You need to—”

“Exhale,” Sabrina said, completing her
sentence for her. “I know. But was does that have to do with anything?”

“It has everything to do with it,”
Cassandra said coolly. “It’s all a part of the process.”

“And what process is that?”

“Do I have to spell it out for you?”
Cassandra tilted her head to the side.

Sabrina knew what she was thinking and
instantly felt an urge to scream at Cassandra but another part of her didn’t.
It wasn’t like it was obvious to that she was trying to admit to herself that
she was falling in love with Brett and just about everyone, well, at least
Cassandra, could see it but Sabrina and she wasn’t so sure if Brett was on the
same page as she was. And the whole “Exhale” thing wasn’t helping her feel any
better. Hell, she knew she sucked at showing affection and wearing her emotions
on her sleeve but it was just something she learned to live with. And most of
the times when she put herself out there she wound up getting hurt. But with
Brett, she knew he was different. And he was definitely a keeper.

So, she smiled at Cassandra and
literally exhaled, loud enough for Cassandra to hear, and said, “Nope, you
don’t have to spell it out. I get it.”

“Get what?” asked Brett and Chad at
once.

Sabrina and Cassandra both exploded with
laughter and echoed, “Nothing.”

Cassandra took a sip from her glass of
wine and asked, “Um, Brett, can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“Okay, well, you know how they say that
black men have, uh, big packages and white men, well, y’all aren’t so blessed.
Or so I heard. Is it true?”

“Cassandra, I cannot believe you just
asked him that,” said Sabrina.

“What?” Cassandra laughed. “I just want
to know.”

Brett laughed and said, “It’s cool.” He
paused and said, “Uh, I don’t know about all white guys, but I have heard that
I’m bigger than average.”

“How big is it?”

Sabrina shot a glance at Cassandra and
all she did was pretend like she didn’t notice.

“What?” she said coyly. “It’s not like I
have a bunch of white girls that I hang out with who I can ask about the size
of their boyfriend’s penis. Jeez.”

“You do not have to answer that,”
Sabrina said to Brett.

He just laughed and sipped his wine
innocently.

“Okay, can we change the subject before
I lose my appetite?” said Chad. “All this talk about male parts is making me
nauseous.”

“I second that,” said Sabrina. “And
where the hell is Larissa”

“I’m here,” a familiar voice said from
behind Sabrina. She turned around and saw Larissa was walking towards their
table on the patio. It was dim with the low lights but Sabrina could see that
there was something different about Larissa.

She stood in front of their table with
her back turned to them and said, “Well, I guess it’s about time I came out and
let ya’ll know what’s been going on with me lately and why I’ve been so
secretive and acting like a crazy bitch.”

Sabrina and Cassandra exchanged empty
looks and looked back at Larissa.

She turned around, opened up her jacket
and revealed a huge baby bump that looked like she was ready to burst.

“Oh my god!” squealed Sabrina at once as
she damn near jumped out of her seat. “I knew you were pregnant!”

“Wow, this is huge,” said Cassandra. She
got up as well and walked over to Larissa and put a hand on her huge belly. “Just
tell us, how far are you?”

Larissa smiled and said, “Five months.”

“Stop lying, Larissa,” said Sabrina.
“You’re not five months pregnant already. You can’t be.”

“Yes I am,” Larissa said coolly. “And
guess what else?”

“What?” asked Sabrina and Cassandra in
unison.

“I’m having twins; a girl and a boy.”

Sabrina and Cassandra both jumped up and
down with excitement at the news.

Larissa beamed and said, “I hope I’m not
interrupting anybody’s date or anything.”

“Not at all,” said Sabrina. “I’ll get
you a chair and you can join us.”

A few moments later they were sitting
down and Larissa was surprisingly all smiles while explaining why she waited so
long to gush about her pregnancy.

 “Well,” said Larissa, “At first I was
ashamed. And plus y’all kept hounding me and shit and I wanted to wait until I
thought it was the best time to tell y’all. And I knew somebody was going to
find out eventually. And I didn’t want y’all to judge me like I’m some knocked
up slut.”

“You are a slut,” Cassandra blurted out
playfully.

“Hell, I’m not a complete slut. It
wasn’t my fault the stupid guy broke the fucking condom.”

“True,” said Sabrina. “At least you were
smart enough to protect yourself, at least that time.”

“Yeah, sadly. I haven’t told anyone else
yet. I’m still trying to wrap my around the fact that I’m pregnant. It’s weird.”

“Don’t worry about it, Larissa. We’re
here for you,” Cassandra said. “You’ll be okay.”

Larissa smiled for a second and moments
later it vanished when she saw Brett. She rolled her eyes and asked Sabrina,
“What the hell is he doing here?”

“He’s with me,” said Sabrina. “Is that a
problem?”

“Yeah, it is. I can’t believe you’re
still dating this loser. Honestly, what do you see in this guy?”

Sabrina’s voice rose slightly when she
said, “I see that he’s not narrow-minded and rude like you are.”

“Oh, so now you’re calling me a racist?
Just ‘casue I don’t like your punk ass boyfriend you want to call me a racist?
That’s fucked up, Rina.”

“Whatever, Larissa. I just don’t get it.
Why can’t you just accept the fact that I like him?”

“I don’t know. I can’t help the fact
that every time I turn on the damn news I hear about some crazy ass white guy
that went ballistic on his girlfriend ‘cause of some silly shit and then the
bitch either turn up missing or dead.” She began to tear up and continued,
“Hell, maybe I care about you and don’t want that shit to happen to you. I
couldn’t live with myself if something like that happened to you. You my girl,
Sabrina and…” She trailed off and began sobbing with her hands covering her
face.

Sabrina’s jaw dropped and she suddenly found
it impossible to speak and tell Larissa…tell her what? Tell her that she
finally understood why she was being so bitchy because she was trying to
protect her?

“Aww, Larissa, I didn’t know that’s how
you felt,” Sabrina said compassionately. “But Brett is a really nice guy once
you get to know whim like I do. He’s not like those other guys. Trust me.”

Larissa sniffled and said, “Oh my God.
This is why I hate being pregnant; these fucking hormones are driving me up the
wall along with these fucking mood swings. I wish I never fucked with that guy,
even though it was supposed to have been a one-night stand. Shit, I’m a
knocked-up-hot-fucking-mess!”

She began to sob again and Sabrina and
Cassandra embraced her tightly.

“You are a hot mess, but if you think about
it, you only have what, four more months left?”

Larissa sobbed harder.

“Damn, Cassandra. You’re supposed to be
consoling her, not making her feel like shit.”

“Well, sorry. I’ve never dealt with a
pregnant chick before. This is all new to me.”

“I need to go to the restroom ‘cause my
bladder is on overdrive right now,” Larissa said a moment or so later.

They excused themselves from the table
and went to the ladies’ room so Larissa could handle her business and they
could freshen up some.

“So, how does it feel to be pregnant?”
Sabrina asked Larissa after she finished and was washing her hands.

“I can’t put it into words. It’s weird.”

“Can I feel it kick?” asked Cassandra
excitedly.

“It’s not it, it’s them,” corrected
Sabrina. “Twins, remember?”