Daisy (22 page)

She made me feel special,
Doug had said by way of explanation.
She accepted me for who I am.

He’d put the failure of our marriage in my lap. If I’d been a better, more attentive, supportive, loving wife, maybe, just maybe, Doug wouldn’t have strayed. Forget covenants; it was all my fault.

I didn’t want to live with those thoughts. I couldn’t. Although guilt and shame plagued me day and night on a conscious level, I found that blaming
her
for shattering my happily ever after was easier than the other option—believing I’d failed as a wife. That if I’d been enough for Doug, he wouldn’t have been pushed into another woman’s arms.

Steadying my hand, I filled in the first line of the getting-to-know-you form.

Parents: Paige Anderson

I applauded myself for not crossing out the extra
S
, but my vision blurred, making it hard to read the next line.

I hate you, Doug. Hate, hate, hate you. You’re such a . . . Carol.