Dalton, Tymber - Brimstone Blues [Brimstone Vampires 2] (Siren Publishing Classic) (34 page)

She sobbed, clung tightly to him. “I missed you so much.”

He held her as she cried again, letting her get it out of her system, trying to soothe her. Eventually she composed herself but wouldn’t let go. “How long are you staying?”

“As long as you want. Do you want me to go?”

“No!” He was alive! Well, okay, his conscious was alive even if he was now sans flesh-and-blood body. “No, I don’t want you to go.” She stood there for a long time, feeling his arms around her. Under different circumstances…

Hell, he was
dead
. What other circumstances were there?

“Why didn’t you let me know you were here?”

“You had enough on your plate and I couldn’t figure out how. I didn’t want to add to your burden. I’m sorry for scaring you. I tried to keep quiet, but sometimes I just couldn’t help myself. I know Matts also blames himself for my death. I could feel it.”

She suddenly realized what he was saying. “You read his mind?”

“Only when you’re together and…distracted. The two of you get pretty intense. Never realized the big guy had it in him.”

She shoved him, and he felt perfectly solid. “Pervert! You watch us make love?”

He laughed. “Hey, I’m sorry, but it’s not like you’ve got cable or high-speed Internet or anything in here. I hear and feel your thoughts. At least I’m not actually peeking while you’re doing it.”

“Argh!” She stepped back. “Oh. My. God! You are
not
serious? Do not tell me you can—”

He nodded. “Well, yeah, there’s only so much a guy can ignore, you know.” He smiled.

“This isn’t happening. This is just. Not. Happening.”

He put his arms around her again. “Yes, Taz, it is. I’m not a figment of your imagination and you’re not losing your mind.”

“Why me? Why not Matthias?”

He looked in her eyes, and she knew there was more than he was letting on. “Because your mind is infinitely stronger, your powers far more reaching than his. I didn’t know if he’d be able to take me. And it happened so fast, it was easier for me to find you because of our connection. I told you, you have no idea how powerful you really are.”

She didn’t want to talk. She kissed him again, and when he tried to pull away, she held on tightly until he gave in.

“We shouldn’t, baby girl,” he whispered.

“Shut up and kiss me, Rafe.”

He did, sliding his hands down her back to her hips and pulling her against him. He looked up for a moment, frowning, then returned his full attention to her. Taz briefly wondered how she could feel him if he was simply a disembodied soul taking up residence in her brain, then decided it didn’t matter when he pulled her shirt up and took her breast into his mouth, teasing her nipple with his tongue and making her moan.

A bed appeared in the room. He picked her up, dropped her on it, and quickly stripped his clothes off.

She closed her eyes and enjoyed every minute of it. There was guilt, but she knew she would deal with that later. Rafe was alive.

Sort of.

She opened her eyes and met his gaze, for a moment thinking his eyes had changed from the distinctive, clear Hawthorne blue to deep sea dark.

He kissed her again and she decided it didn’t matter, closing her eyes and enjoying the feel of his hands on her body.

Even when he entered her, she felt it, as if he was beside her in flesh and bone and blood. When he stroked her with his hand and made her climax, she screamed his name, sobbing, then felt him thrust and come inside her.

After, they lay on the bed, Rafael’s arms protectively curled around her. He laced his fingers through hers and kissed her hand. “I love you, Taz baby. I mean it.”

“I love you, too.” She dozed. When she awoke, Rafael was dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed. He leaned over and kissed her.

“So now what?” she asked.

Rafe released her and stepped toward the door she’d entered. “Go check my laptop. There’s a locked file in the documents folder, called ‘journal.’ The password is Catydid, with a capital C. We’ll talk later. Right here. I promise from now on I’ll put in ear plugs and I won’t peek.” He winked before he opened the door and stepped through, closing it before she could stop him. Then she felt the whole room shake.

She opened her eyes, and Matthias was lying next to her, naked and looking disheveled. She realized she was naked, too, and feeling…well, feeling freshly fucked.

He kissed her. “Did you have a nice nap?”

A dream? Had it all been a dream?
Had she really made love to Matthias and just dreamed it was Rafe?

Oh, God
—whose name did she scream? Matthias didn’t look upset, maybe that was just in her mind.

“What time is it?” she asked.

“Six. Want to get dinner?”

Six o’clock! She’d been out of it for over two hours! Sleeping. A dream, that was all. She’d dreamed about Rafael. He wasn’t living inside her brain, she’d dreamed the whole thing, and Dame Agnew had simply pulled her leg.

She sighed with relief. “Dinner sounds good.”

* * * *

Matthias went to start the shower while she lay in bed a moment longer. He felt exhausted, emotionally wrung out. That was the only explanation. For a little while, while making love to Taz, he almost felt like he was watching from outside his body, like a subtle shift in perspective had taken place.

* * * *

Taz asked the question at dinner. “What happens to them?”

The men exchanged glances. Taz put her fork down. “Tell me.”

Matthias looked at her. “The Tribunal has decided death is the safest option.”

Taz nodded. “When?”

“They must prepare. They want it to be painless.”

Taz’s mind hardened. She strengthened her mental barrier against them and studied her plate. “Tomorrow, right?”

Matthias nodded.

“I want to be there.”

“Taz, I don’t know if that’s such a good—” He stopped when he saw the firm set of her chin. He nodded. “Okay.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

Later that night, Taz waited until Matthias was sound asleep. Dame Agnew
had
to be wrong. Otherwise, that would mean…

That would mean she’d had sex with a dead man in her head. Not just once, but several times.

It would explain everything.

It would also turn her life upside down in a way she didn’t want to contemplate.

Taz shuddered at the implication. She unzipped the laptop case, took the computer into the bathroom, and shut the door before turning on the light. She prayed she wouldn’t find anything, because that would mean it was all yet another very realistic dream and that Rafe wasn’t alive in her brain. She scanned through the files, and it took her a minute to find it.

Her heart dropped. It was there, exactly where Rafe said it was. When she double clicked on it, a password prompt appeared.

Catydid

It was a large file, a journal going back several years. With her heart in her throat she found the entry he’d made in Yellowstone, after their dinner.

Taz is amazing! Truly breathtaking. If Matts wasn’t like a brother to me, I’d be tempted to give myself enough hope to try. Never since Cassandra has any woman ever made me feel like this, want to get close and let her inside my heart. She is so much like Cassandra in so many ways. Not in her looks, but… I just feel something there, deep inside. Like I’ve known her before.

Matts is one lucky bastard. God I envy him! I’d been teasing her all day, not realizing she wasn’t marked. I assumed—wrongly!—she was. There was just so much passion between them, so much power, I figured he must have. When she took me over and made me come to her on the boardwalk—I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t want her to stop. I wanted her inside me, controlling me, and I wanted my hands on her. I know it was wrong to kiss her, but she was fresh and sweet and tasted like a brand-new day. I would have dropped to my knees and begged her to leave Matts on the spot if I thought she would have me, even for one hour.

I felt her regret, her guilt, when we talked later at dinner. On the way back to the cabins I did my best to reassure her, and managed to screw that up. She went to her cabin pissed at Matts. Well, it was his fault he didn’t tell her everything she needed to know by now.

But she loves me! She told me she loves me—and now I know why Matts waited so long for her. I would gladly wait ten, one hundred years for my own chance with her.

I know Matts told me he’d die for her, but so would I. I would gladly die for a chance to be with her. I see why he loves her so much. God help that man if he screws up and gives me a moment to be with her, I will steal her from him in a heartbeat. It’s a horrible thing to say, but I would. I love her. For the first time in centuries, I’m willing to hope and love again.

And that was it. He was murdered by Caroline and the demons less than a few hours later. In a way, he had died for a chance to be with her, just not in the way either wanted.

Taz shut the computer down and returned it to the bag, trying not to wake Matthias as she slid into bed. Closing her eyes she tried to go to sleep and couldn’t. She opened the room in her mind.

“Rafe?”

There he was, sitting in a chair. “And?”

It was real, it was true. He was really here. How else could she find that file? This wasn’t a dream.

Another chair appeared in front of him and she sat. She didn’t think of it. Apparently he had the ability to create things in her mind.

“I read it.” She looked at him. “I wasn’t just dreaming before, was I? Any of those times?”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry I put you in this position.”

“Did you choose to come to me because you wanted me?”

“I told you, I didn’t think Matts could take me. What the hell was I supposed to do, go to Caroline?”

There was something more. Taz knew it, sensed him holding back, searched his face for answers. She could force him to tell, but she didn’t want to do that.

“Rafe, what are you not telling me?”

“It doesn’t matter. Not anymore.”

“Please, I have a right—”

“Anastazia,” he said, sharply, startling her. He’d never called her that, always Taz. “Please. One day.” He looked away. “One day, yes, I will. But there are some burdens you don’t need to bear. Especially not after tonight. Please, trust me.”

Surprisingly, she did. In a way she didn’t immediately trust Matthias when all this started.

In her mind they curled up together on a sofa that appeared in Rafael’s room. She sat, lying in his lap, with his arm draped over her.

They talked for what felt like hours. About his past, her past, and it felt strange but also comforting. Her guilt lifted.

He looked up. “Sorry, baby girl.” He leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek before standing. “I have to go. Remember, let him love you.”

Like that, he was gone.

And then Matthias was kissing her. “Good morning, Taz,” he whispered, nuzzling her neck. “Did you sleep well?”