Damage (22 page)

“I’m sorry.” And I am. I
am
sorry. I don’t want to lose Penny. She’s a part of my family who I’ve taken for granted for way too long. “Maybe she’ll … maybe she’ll be able to forgive you.”

Dad is silent for a moment. “Maybe. But you never will. Will you?”

I look at Jesse again, at this boy who was used and thrown away, and shake my head. No, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive my dad. Not ever. Not even if I really believed he was sorry.

Jesse

I know I should be angry. My insides should be on fire. I’ve pounded faces for offenses way more minor than what this man has done. I should pull over and beat him senseless.

But I don’t. I just keep driving, following his directions off the interstate and up a two-lane road that gets narrower as it winds through giant pine forests covered in snow. We need Dr. Connor. I have a hell of a lot more questions, we don’t know how to get to the safe house without him, and no matter how evil and full of it he is, he’s still Dani’s dad.

No matter how many lives he’s wrecked, no matter how many kids he’s damaged, no matter what kind of freaky, experimental shit he’s a part of—that’s never going to go away. He’s her father, and I won’t give him any more power. If I hurt him, Dani will always remember it.

She thinks she hates her dad right now, but she’ll hate me more if I hurt him. I don’t want her to hate me. I want her to keep looking at me with that crazy intense look that makes my entire body hum, that makes me want to stay right next to her … forever. I’ve never felt like this before. About anyone. Not even my sister, who’s the only other person I can remember loving in a normal, uncomplicated kind of way.

But I don’t love Dani like a sister. I love her like an answer I never thought I’d find, a solution I didn’t believe existed.

I’m so crazy about her a part of me is actually glad we’re on our way to some super-secret FBI compound. I hate cops and I’m pretty sure I’ll hate federal cops just as much, but at least I’ll be close to her all the time. We’ll never have to go home to our separate houses or head down different paths to the boys’ and girls’ campuses at school.

I have a feeling we won’t be going back to school or our old lives at all. I know I should be scared about that, too—I could lose my chance at an athletic scholarship and the bright future I’ve worked so hard for—but I’m not. The only thing that scares me is that I might lose Dani, that I might hurt her.

But maybe I can learn to control the dragon. What Dani made Rachel do in the hospital proves it’s possible. I just need to figure out how she’s doing it …

I glance in the rearview mirror. We’ve been on the road for three hours, and the late afternoon light has made the whole world sleepy and still. Dani’s dad hasn’t said a word since she shut him down on the whole “forgiveness” thing, and his eyes are closed. But no matter how nap-inducing this ride has been, I’m not going to count on him being asleep. It’s better if Dani and I keep our voices down. I don’t want him to find out how dangerous I am. I’m amazed he let me drive, but I guess he assumes our imaginary “friends” are still playing by the old rules and only show up when we’re alone.

“So how do you do it?” I whisper. “How do you get Rachel to do what you say?”

“I don’t know … I just … ” Dani glances over her shoulder, taking in her dad’s apparently sleeping form before turning back to me. “I decided I was in control and told her she needed to listen. I kept thinking about how I talk to kids when I’m babysitting and they start doing stuff I know they’re not supposed to. I know that sounds stupid, but—”

“No, it doesn’t.” I know the power of a good bluff. It’s just never crossed my mind to try that with the Thing. I’ve never considered using reason with a creature that spends most of its time hissing and snapping. “So Rachel understands you when you talk?”

“Yeah. And she talks to me sometimes. I can hear her voice in my head.”

“The Thing isn’t big on using its words.”

“Right.” Dani’s lips curve up. She takes a thoughtful bite of the Power Bar she fished out of her dad’s glove compartment a few minutes ago. I clench my stomach muscles, trying to keep my gut from rumbling as she chews.

She offered me half the bar, but I said I wasn’t hungry. The last time I ate, the dragon made an appearance not long after. I don’t want to take the chance that feeding myself feeds the Thing until I have some clue how to keep it from hurting anyone.

“So it might not listen to words. I don’t know. And it might be harder for you, anyway,” Dani says. “Remember what Dad said about the psychic manifestations being worse for the kids who weren’t sick? Maybe that’s happening now. Like … the energy it takes for my body to correct the diabetes leaves less energy for Rachel? Or something?”

“But she’s stronger today, right? Stronger than she was when you were little?”

Dani nods, and takes another quick look over her shoulder before leaning over to whisper in my ear. “She showed up in the back seat a few minutes ago, but I made her go away without saying anything. The Thing hasn’t shown up, has it?”

I shake my head. “That’s why I’m not eating. Starve the body, starve the monster.”

“And maybe your shoulder has something to do with it. The energy it takes to heal you could be draining the Thing’s strength.” Her fingers trail across my back, making me shiver. “How does it feel?”

“Better, but not totally better.” I roll my shoulder, wincing as a ghost of the original pain stabs through the bone. “I think I’ll need a doctor to dig the bullet out sooner or later.”

“You’re also going to have to eat something sooner or later.”

The conversation dies a quick death—the realization that the Thing will be back and I’ll have to deal with it hanging in the air between us. Finally, Dani leans close enough that I can feel her lips brush my ear when she whispers, “I’m not going to let them know that I can make Rachel do things. Only that I can make her go away. The more I think about it, the more I think that the terrorists might not be the only ones who’d like to use what we can do.”

I nod. I’ve been thinking the same thing. But the fact remains that I
can’t
make the Thing do what I say. I can’t control it at all yet. Sooner or later the people in charge at this safe house are going to realize this, and I can imagine what will happen then. I’ll wind up in a cage, locked away, just like Vince said I would. Good guys or bad guys, the ending will be the same.

“You can do this,” Dani says, as if she can read my mind. “You
have
to do this.”

“I know.” My voice is so soft I can barely hear it. “Or people are going to die.”

Dani’s voice is even softer. “I’ll die if anything happens to you.” It makes my chest ache. Her words should have sounded silly, melodramatic. But they don’t. Not to me. Because I know exactly how she feels. We’re like those crazy people who fall in love in rehab because they’ve finally found someone as messed up as they are. Dani is the only person who has ever made me feel like I’m not alone. I would love her for that even if she weren’t beautiful and good and brave.

“Don’t leave me, okay?” Her hand curls at the back of my neck. “No matter what.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

She presses a kiss to my cheek before sliding back into her seat. I fight to keep my hands on the wheel. We haven’t said the words, but we might as well have. She loves me. I love her. It’s insane and impossible and … right. I want to pull the car over and kiss her until she’s breathless, to hold her so tight we can’t tell where one of us stops and the other starts, to run my hands over every inch of her until I know beyond a doubt that she’s real and mine and—

“We’re going to need to turn soon,” Dani’s dad pipes up from the back seat, a hard note in his voice, as if he knows I was all over his daughter in my mind a second ago. “Look for a sign for the Evergreen Retreats. We’ll be meeting our pickup team at cabin number thirteen.”

“Lucky number thirteen.” My lame attempt at a joke makes Dani “mmph,” but her dad stays silent. When I look at him in the rearview mirror, he’s staring out the window, his face pinched tight.

He looks so … scared. Sad. Worried. Not like a man who has nearly made it to safety. But then, he just had to tell his wife and daughter that he’s a mad scientist and both of them hate his guts. It probably isn’t his best day ever. He hasn’t been chased by invisible killing machines, but he’s lost a lot and had some face time with the bad guys with guns.

Bad guys.
With guns
. Just how
did
he escape the bad guys with guns?

The gnawing in my stomach turns to a cold lump of fear. My foot eases off the gas, slow and steady, not enough to attract attention but enough to slow our progress toward the Evergreen Retreats.

“So, you said someone ran you off the road?” I ask, raising my voice so Dr. Connor will know I’m talking to him. “The car’s driving good. Where did they hit you?”

“They didn’t hit me,” he says without hesitation. Still, something in his voice makes the hairs at the back of my neck prickle. I feel a lie slipping over the seats, wrapping around my throat. “I pulled over when they fired at my tires. They drove past and got stuck on the bridge.”

“Didn’t they come back for you?” I ask, trying to sound casual.

He leans between the seats and squints at the road. “I’m assuming so, but I lost them in the city.”

I nod and ease off the gas a little more, pretending to look for the sign. “And you didn’t run into them again?”

“No. I didn’t.” Dr. Connor is finally starting to sound frustrated with my questions, but that’s just fine. He can stay frustrated. And we’ll stay away from our pickup point until my bullshit meter stops screaming.

I slam on the brake and pull to the side of the road, coming to a sharp stop. Dani’s seat belt catches and holds, and Dr. Connor grunts and braces himself to keep from falling into the front seat.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, not bothering to hide his anger. “You could have hurt someone.” He reaches a hand out to touch Dani’s shoulder. I fight the urge to slap it away. He doesn’t deserve to touch her, not if my suspicions are correct. “Are you okay, sweetheart?”

“I’m fine,” Dani says, lifting curious eyes to mine.

“So how did you find out your cell phone had a tracking device inside?” I shift the car into park and turn in my seat, meeting Dr. Connor’s stare straight on.

“What?”

“If the guys with guns never found you again, how did you find out there was a tracking device in your phone?”

He pauses for less than a second, but that’s all it takes for his guilt to be confirmed. At least in my mind. I have no doubt that whatever he says from here on out is going to be a lie.

“How else would they have found me?” he asks.

I shrug, and casually reach for the button to my seat belt. I have a feeling I’m going to want to be free to move. Very soon. “I don’t know.” The button clicks and my belt snakes across my chest. “Maybe they’d been watching you for a while? Don’t you always go to work at the same time every day? And take the same road?”

“Maybe.” Dr. Connor’s fingers dig into the back of Dani’s seat. He glances in the rearview and stares a little too long, like he’s hoping for another car to show up and encourage me to pull back on the road. But we haven’t seen another car in almost an hour.

“I mean … I’m not super-smart or anything … ” I look over at Dani. She’s sitting absolutely still, watching her dad like snakes are about to start crawling out of his mouth. She knows. She’s guessed what I’ve guessed.

I turn back to Dr. Connor. “But, a tracking device wouldn’t have been my first guess. Anyone who watches me long enough is going to know that I walk up Bean Street at about seven twenty-five every Monday through Friday. Right?”

“I have no idea.” He looks at the rearview again. “I’m unaware of your daily routine.”

“Really? So you didn’t help those guys figure out when our bus would be leaving for the city? Or where they needed to be with that semi to hit us at the right moment?”

“You’re out of your mind,” he says. “I would never—”

“So you’re just in charge of helping pick up the pieces, then?” A flicker of recognition sparks behind Dr. Connor’s square glasses and every muscle in my body tenses.