Damaged (26 page)

“Not us, not me.” Mary didn't know how to explain it to him. She'd never thought she'd have to try. “I like Lambrusco.”

“There are other wines in the world.”

“I
am
Lambrusco.”

“No you're not. Don't sell yourself short.” Anthony touched her arm, leaning over with a new urgency. “You're an amazing person and an amazing lawyer. You can be anything you want to be.”

“What about my client base? It's in South Philly.”

“You got that client base because you're a great lawyer and you work hard. You'll get clients wherever you go, you'll attract new ones. They'll come to you because of your talent and your personality. And your dedication.”

“But I love it here.” Mary couldn't imagine moving away. “My parents are here, Judy is here. The Tonys. The city. This is my home. This is our home.”

“No, it's just our hometown. It doesn't have to be our home, forever and ever.” Anthony frowned, his desperation plain. “This is an opportunity I can't bring myself to turn down. I could have stayed the weekend but I came home to explain this all to you, to see how you felt, to try to work it out. I know it's a new idea, but if you come out with me this week, you can look around. UCLA sells itself. The sun, the beach, it's just a wonderful way to live, a healthy, clean, relaxed way to live—”

“I'm healthy and clean,” Mary heard herself saying, bewildered. She felt vaguely disapproved of, by the man she loved most in the world. And then there was Patrick. “You know what
my
news is? A case came up this week, involving a ten-year-old boy. His grandfather died, and he has nobody else in the world. And I was going to ask you if we could have him come to live with us, only temporarily, because I'm going into court to become his guardian.”

Anthony's eyes flared in shock. “Are you serious?”

“Yes.” Mary realized this was her chance to pitch her case. “He's a wonderful little boy and I can't turn my back on him. I just can't bring myself to. I thought if I explained it to you, you would understand why we need to take him in. As I say, temporarily.”

“How long are you talking about? A week, two weeks?”

“No, because we have to get him through a really tough time—”

“How long?”

“Like six months to a year? I just want to get him over the hump.”

“Are you
kidding
? A
year
?” Anthony recoiled, aghast. His hand slipped from Mary's. “Why us?”

“His parents are dead and now his grandfather's dead.”

“He must have somebody, some cousins to take him. Have you looked?”

“Even if there was some remote cousin or something, Patrick doesn't know him.”

“
Patrick?
” Anthony edged away, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Patrick O'Brien. That's his name—”

“I don't want to know his name. I'm not responsible for him. You can't be responsible for him. You're not. How did you even get involved?”

“It was a special education case, and when the grandfather died, it turned into something else. I tried to call you, to tell you, but I couldn't reach you.”

“Look, to tell you the truth, I was ducking your calls—”

“What?” Mary said, shocked.

“I knew I had to tell you about the job offer but I didn't want to tell you over the phone. I wanted to tell you in person. I'm sorry, but”—Anthony stopped speaking abruptly, then started again—“you
can't
be seriously considering this. I don't want a ten-year-old boy, not now. We're getting married. I want to move to California.”

“I don't want to move to California.”

“And I don't want a child right now, and not this way.” Anthony looked at Mary like she was completely crazy. “And babe, if you think this is going to be temporary, even a year, you're not being realistic. You're kicking the can down the road. You're not going to take a kid into our house, live with him for a year, and then give him up. That's
so
not you.”

“I'm going to make myself do it. I'm going to do it.”

“No, you're not going to be able to. You don't do anything temporarily. You're going to fall in love with him and you're gonna fall hard.” Anthony frowned. “And we're going to end up with
Patrick
as our child, our son, forever. You're asking me to change my whole life.”

“You're asking me to change
my
whole life, by moving away.”

“No, I'm not,” Anthony shot back. “Moving isn't the same thing as taking on a child. You're talking about something that affects us as a couple, as a family.”

“You're talking about me leaving my parents. They're my family. How much longer do you think they have?” Mary didn't even want to think about her parents' passing.

“But now that we're getting married,
we're
the family.”

“Our getting married doesn't mean we leave our families behind. That wasn't the deal. In fact, it was exactly the opposite.” Mary couldn't believe she had to explain this to him. They were supposed to be from the same neighborhood, literally and figuratively. “Part of the reason we get along so well is that you love my family as much as I do. We fit together, all of us, even your mom.”

“So take your family with us, I'd love it!” Anthony threw up his hands. “My mom would move to California if I asked her to. So would my brother.”

“Well, mine wouldn't!” Mary shot back. “And I wouldn't ask them to. My parents are older than your mom, and my father's friends are here. They live here and they need me here. My mom doesn't feel that great from time to time, since her hysterectomy. And my father's knees act up. Now is when they need me the most.”

“What about what
I
need? Where do I stand? Behind your parents? Behind Judy and The Tonys? Behind
Patrick
,
whoever he is
?” Anthony's lips parted, and his eyebrows slanted down, and he looked to Mary as if he was positively heartbroken, which was exactly how she felt. She hadn't really thought about it until this very moment, but she realized her parents did need her. The tables had turned in her life, and now she took care of the parents who used to take care of her. She flashed on Patrick, crying that Edward needed him. It struck her suddenly that the pull of being needed was just as strong as the pull of needing.

“Anthony, I love you, more than anybody. But I don't want to move away from my family and I want to take Patrick.”

“Mary, I love
you
, more than anybody. But I want to move and I don't want to take Patrick.”

Mary felt his words like a body blow. “So what do we do now?”

Anthony shook his head, sadly. “I don't know, but I'm leaving early tomorrow to go back to LA. The interviews are this week. I'll be back when I can, maybe Tuesday night.”

Mary inhaled slowly, her wine souring on her tongue. “And by then I'll know if I'm Patrick's guardian.”

“So we're at impasse.”

“I guess so.” Mary shrugged, crestfallen. She knew she was doing the right thing for Patrick, but maybe it was wrong for Anthony. She wondered if she
had
volunteered herself too fast, taking responsibility for a problem that wasn't hers.

“We'll have to figure this out, later.”

“Will you at least think it over?”

“Yes, if you will.” Anthony pursed his lips. “Unless the problem solves itself.”

“How would it?”

“If they don't offer me the job.” Anthony forced a smile.

“I guess I could always lose the hearing.” Mary couldn't manage even a sarcastic smile. Too much was at stake. She didn't see how she won, either way. If she got Patrick, she could lose Anthony. She was supposed to be getting married in less than two weeks, now. Her next thought was unthinkable.

“So now we can wish the worst for each other.”

“I don't wish the worst for you. Do you wish it for me?”

Anthony looked away, leaning on the island, his dark-eyed gaze focusing on a shaft of sunlight fading on the black granite. He didn't say anything, and Mary couldn't take the silence.

“Well?” she asked, her chest tight.

“I think the fish is burning,” Anthony said, turning away.

 

CHAPTER THIRTY

“You can't go to California!” Judy wailed, sitting across from Mary's desk, dressed in her Sunday shorts and T-shirt, which was a lot like her Saturday shorts and T-shirt. Mary took another bite of her bagel, feeling like she was having a déjà vu of yesterday morning, except that most mornings at Rosato & DiNunzio started with her, Judy, and carbohydrates.

“I'm not going to California,” Mary said, grateful that Judy had taken the time on Sunday morning to come in and talk it over.

“What did he say this morning before he left?”

“He left before I was up. I can't believe his flight was that early. I think he waited at the airport.”

“Oh no.” Judy grimaced. “Was it the gun that bothered him?”

“I didn't even get to tell him about that, it just went straight downhill. It makes me wonder if I'm doing the right thing with Patrick. When Anthony wasn't here, it was easy to put Patrick first, but last night when he came home, I could see how hurt he was and how much it meant to him.”

“I get it. It made it real?”

“Exactly,” Mary said, feeling validated, which was what best friends were for. “But on the other hand, I can't forget Patrick. I was thinking all morning, is there any way to compromise with Anthony? What if I take Patrick to California? Or what if Anthony takes the job for a year, and I take Patrick for a year? Isn't that what you're supposed to do when you get married, compromise?”

“I'm the last one to ask. I'm not only single, I'm in the dry spell of a lifetime. I think my hymen fused back together.”

Mary smiled. “That can't happen.”

“It happens with pierced ears. The holes close up.”

“Anyway, it's a big thing to compromise over, not helping Patrick, and Anthony doesn't think it would be temporary.”

Judy eyed her, knowingly. “I have to admit, Anthony might be right about that. I worried about it, too. You'll get attached to Patrick. You get attached to parking meters, pencils, anything. You even like my dog better than I do.”

Mary took a gulp of her coffee. “So what should I do? I have to decide. We're going forward.”

Judy shot her a sympathetic look. “Don't worry, you'll figure it out. You always do. It sounds corny, but just keep following your heart. Think about what you really want.”

“I want everything. I want to help Patrick and I want to get married to Anthony and live in Philadelphia.”

“Then you'll figure out a way to make that happen.” Judy met her gaze directly. “I'll help you any way I can, you know that. And I'll love you no matter what you do, except if you move to California.”

Mary turned to the door as Lou Jacobs, their firm investigator, appeared in the doorway. She'd asked him to come in to follow up on the brown Subaru and to satisfy Anthony's request that Patrick had no other family. Lou was a retired cop in his late sixties, his craggy face deeply sunburned after a summer spent crabbing in South Jersey. He was still trim, with piercing blue eyes, high cheekbones, and a strong nose with a tiny scar.

“Ladies, the cavalry is here.” Lou flashed her a smile, stepped inside, and sat down next to Judy. “So our girl needs us again, eh?”

Judy smiled back. “Where would she be without us?”

“Up shit creek without a paddle.”

Mary knew he was kidding. She and Lou had worked together since forever, and all of the lawyers at the firm loved him. She handed him a bag with breakfast. “Lou, I got you a bagel.”

“Thanks, Mare.”

“I told you about the case on the phone. I want to confirm that it was Robertson in the brown Subaru so if you could—”

“I don't want to talk about the case, I want to talk about your life.” Lou unwrapped the bagel. “You're trying to become this kid's guardian? Do you know what you're getting into?”

“Yes.” Mary didn't mind Lou asking, since everyone at the firm routinely invaded each other's privacy.

“Mare, I know your heart's in the right place but you can't rescue everybody.”

“I know that,” Mary said, defensively. “I'm just going to rescue this one kid.”

“It's a big deal, having a kid.”

“It's not forever, it's just for a year.”

“Tell me another one. I know you, and
that
ain't happening.” Lou parted the halves of his bagel, with approval. “This sandwich is a thing of beauty, is it not? Poppy seed, untoasted. Just the right amount of Nova, sliced thin. Plain cream cheese, not too much. Tomato sliced perfect. No onion. Just like I like. Thank you, Mary.” Lou looked over at Judy. “You could take a lesson, you know. Mary always feeds me. With you, I'm lucky if I get a cuppa coffee. Now you know why I shave for Mary. For you, I don't shave.”

Mary was running out of time. “Lou, what was your point about kids?”

“Mare, I got kids, so I know. I'm a kid expert. It changes your life, having a kid.”

“
This
is your advice?”

“Don't make light. It's a true fact. Let it sink in. Think about it. You like your life? It's gonna change. You might not like it so much. That's what kids do.” Lou took a massive bite of his bagel. “What does Anthony say?”

Mary hesitated. “I'm hoping he'll get on board.”

Judy started laughing. “I'm hoping I'll meet Bradley Cooper.”

Lou glanced at Judy, his cheek full. “Good one.”