Damaged and the Beast (28 page)

I wrapped my legs around his hips and waited for the pressure of him filling my body. Once he was inside, I smiled. “I can’t believe I’m running around naked like this,” I nearly whispered, so relaxed as the upper part of my body floated and the lower part rested in the confident hands of a man in no hurry.

“I can’t believe how calm you are,” he said tenderly, his tone matching mine. “When we met, you were a ball of nerves. Now, look at how relaxed you are.”

“It’s all because of you.”

Cooper smiled, but I knew he was thinking of how he messed up in the past. I wasn’t thinking of anything besides the delicious pressure of Cooper moving in and out of me. As he held me in position with one hand, his free hand explored. Teasing my nipples then setting between my legs, they tried to coax an orgasm out of me.

As I stared up into the cloudless day, a hawk flew high over the massive trees. I watched the bird as my body inched closer and closer to an orgasm. My breathing sped up and I felt every nerve on fire. It was ready to happen when something just clicked and my eyes burned. As the moment passed, I refused to look at Cooper.

“I’m paying attention,” he whispered. “My girl is relaxed and doesn’t look afraid. Even with the tears, you look calm.”

Finally, I met his gaze. “I was so close.”

“It’ll happen,” he said, thrusting a little faster now, yet without any real intensity. “It’s my mission in life to make it happen and I never fail.”

I watched him return to exploring. His fingers grazed my lips then slid down my chin, just learning every groove of my body. By the time Cooper held my hips with both hands and worked towards an orgasm, I had my legs wrapped tightly around him. Loving to watch his face when he came, I found it extremely gratifying to see him so unguarded.

I floated there for a while longer with him inside me and his hands again exploring. We were so calm with each other that I couldn’t believe we’d slept together for the first time only the night before. While that time hadn’t been amazing, this day was perfect in too many ways to count.

Eventually, Cooper slid out of me then pulled me into his arms. “You look tired.”

“So do you,” I mumbled.

“We could take a nap in a guest room then grill our dinner. Maybe even swim again. The house is pretty much ours for the evening.”

“A nap?” I asked, grinning. “Who takes a nap?”

“I do all the time. I’m up at night and you don’t want to know how grumpy I get without enough sleep.”

“You, grumpy? I don’t believe it.”

“That there,” he said, gesturing towards a small stall, “has a shower. We could wash off the chlorine then head inside. My girl needs more rest than she’s getting with her crap job.”

Even thinking to defend my crap job, I was actually really tired. A nap sounded nice, though I doubted I would sleep. We left the warm water of the pool and hurried to wash off before the slight breeze clung to our wet bodies.

After the shower, Cooper wrapped me in a towel while he remained nude. Taking my hand, he led me to a guest room where he lowered the shades and found an extra blanket.

“I always get cold during naps,” Cooper explained. “Plus, we’re naked.”

“We are so naked,” I said, licking my bottom lip.

“Stop making me hard.”

I undid the towel then dropped it on a chair before sliding under the covers.

“I’m cold. Do you think you could warm me up?”

Cooper grinned. “You had me at the lip lick.”

Soon overheated from his tongue’s affections at my stomach and chest, I still wouldn’t let him lick lower. When Cooper pressed open my legs, he didn’t struggle with me like the night before. I really felt in the moment until the pleasure grew too intense and I shut down. Cooper watched my face as he moved slowly in and out of me. If he thought it would make any difference, I think he might have held on for another hour.

When I ran my nails along his chest, Cooper gave up and just let go. Those last few thrusts were so deep that the sensations sent me somewhere between abject terror and intense pleasure. I was always so close to coming, but couldn’t get past the wall.

Cooper said nothing after we finished. Cuddled with me, he made sure we were snug under the blankets. I didn’t think I could sleep in a strange bed with a man wrapped against the back of me especially with the slightly painful tingles between my legs. While certain that I’d stare at the wall until Cooper woke up, I was instead asleep within minutes.

Waking to a murky room, I wondered how much time passed while I napped. I turned to find Cooper lying on his side watching me. He smiled when our gazes met.

“Have you been up long?” I asked.

“Twenty minutes top.”

I reached for his face and let my fingers slide across the stubble on his cheek. Lifting my head to kiss him, I felt him press something against my lips.

Cooper grinned. “A mint so you won’t have to worry about your breath.”

Opening my mouth, I took the mint before smiling so widely my face hurt. “You’re too perfect.”

“Yeah, I know,” he said, leaning down to kiss me. “Man, you’re hot when you sleep.”

I had no time for a response because his lips were on mine and the kiss stretched into us wrapped together. Our bodies were so warm under the blankets and I knew what Cooper wanted. Well, more like needed. I felt a little sore, but when he touched me just right, I opened my legs for him.

There was something extremely comforting about being in that room with Cooper. The house smelled like peaches from a nearby air freshener. It was quiet and warm and I felt safe with Cooper as if he alone could hold back all of the ugliness in my life.

Tawny answered on the first ring like her hand was hovering over the phone. While I thought maybe she sensed I would call, her voice sounded panicked for her to be expecting me.

“Tawny, what’s wrong?” I asked.

“We’re somewhere else now.”

“Is Dad around?” I asked, sitting in the guest room while Cooper readied our dinner.

“He’s got a con going and thinks he could have the money to pay off those people. I still don’t know what he’ll do about the cops, but he says he’s close to fixing one problem. Then, maybe we can move somewhere else and I can get a job.”

Tawny sounded like she was reciting Dad. I hated when she did that because it meant she was on autopilot. I remembered how when things were really bad my little sister would pull deep within herself and go through the motions. Sometimes, it was difficult to reassure Tawny enough for her to come out of hiding and I feared she’d lock herself away forever.

“Are you okay?” I asked gently, feeling guilty to have spent such a wonderful day while Tawny was trapped somewhere.

“Yes, I’m glad you called. Did you sleep with that rich guy?”

“Last night.”

“Was it good?” she asked, sounding more like Tawny now and I could see the little grin on her face.

“It was okay.”

“Was he mean?” she asked, the humor gone.

“It was just weird and…” I glanced around like someone might be listening even though I knew I was alone. “I cried last night and again today at Cooper’s house.”

“Why? You said he wasn’t mean.”

“He wasn’t. He’s really hot too and I want him, but then I started crying. It’s weird.”

Tawny said nothing for nearly a minute. “You need practice. It’s like when I would get nervous at new schools. Every time I had a new class, I would cry. Then, I got practice and it wasn’t scary. Yeah, you just need more practice.”

Smiling, I felt like Tawny was in the room with me. I really wished she was and my eyes burned at how much I missed her.

“He’s been so great today. Like taking care of me and saying really nice things. He makes me feel like I’m important.”

“You are important.”

“I guess, but most people don’t think that. Cooper has all his money and he’s really hot and I know other girls don’t cry and act weird. I know he can do better so I’m excited by how he likes me so much.”

“You have a calming thing,” Tawny said, again sounding confident like she just knew stuff. “You make people feel relaxed and people like that. I always felt better when you were around even if everything was shitty. You did that and maybe he needs that calming thing too. Maybe that’s what you have that those other girls don’t have? You’re beautiful, smart, and funny too, but a lot of people have those things. A lot of people aren’t calming though.”

“You’d make a great therapist.”

“Why would anyone listen to me?”

“Because you make things sound good. That’s your talent. You make a person see things they don’t see on their own.”

Tawny said nothing and I felt her pulling away a little. “I can’t go back to high school. I hate the classes.”

“I’m not asking you to go to school. I’m just saying you’re good with people. You can be good with them without going to school.”

“Oh.”

“I’m going to get you here, Tawny.”

“What about Cooper? What if he wants to keep you around?”

“So?”

“So he might not want me around. Like we were going to get a place, but what if he really likes you and wants to keep you and you can’t get a place with me?”

Tawny was crying. I couldn’t hear it, but I knew her voice and she was scared.

“He loves me,” I said softly. “He wants me to be happy and he knows you’re my best friend. He knows I miss you and he wouldn’t take you away from me. He even asks about you. Cooper won’t stop me from bringing you here.”

“He said he loved you?”

“Yes, and I love him too.”

“I know. I could tell when you kept trying to talk yourself out of dating him. Why else would you want to stop seeing a rich hot guy unless you were worried you felt more for him than he did for you? Yeah, I knew you were in love.”

Laughing, I wished I could give her a hug through the phone. “See, you’re smart. School just isn’t for everyone.”

“Yeah, I’ll find a job when I get there and I’ll help pay for stuff. I’ll pull my weight.”

“Even if you don’t, I want you here. I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” Tawny said then sighed. “I’m sorry you cried.”

Swallowing hard, I forced out the words. “I felt a little like I was back there.”

“It’s the tattoos. You said he has them and that’s why. You’ll get used to those tats and you won’t feel that way. Like I said, you need practice.”

“It’s been a great day and I can’t wait until you meet him.”

“I won’t embarrass you,” Tawny said full of sincerity. “I won’t ruin things for you when I get there.”

In that moment, I saw Tawny and me the way others did. How we were always the dirty outsiders who didn’t belong. I had forgotten some of that living in Ellsberg. While I felt like I belonged, Tawny was in a motel, feeling like trash. I wept at the thought of her seeing herself that way.

Tawny and I didn’t really say anything for the rest of the call. We just cried and tried to think about the future, but instead wallowed in our past. We needed to get away from all of the ugliness and be new people. I was trying so hard, but she was still stuck in the crap life our parents built for us.

After I hung up, I washed my face then went looking for Cooper. I found him outside on the deck, grilling the steaks. He looked a little ominous in only jeans. His size and those tattoos still scared me, but then he glanced in my direction and smiled. Suddenly, he wasn’t the scary guy from the first day of school. He was my Coop who gave foot massages and kissed like he had nowhere important to go. He loved me. I just had to hold onto this fact so I didn’t ruin things.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, frowning now.

Nodding, I knew my face was red from crying. “She’s alone in a highway shithole and I wish she was here.”

“I could bring her here.”

My heart leapt, but I didn’t agree. My mind recalled how suddenly Cooper had fallen for me and imagined how suddenly he could lose interest. If I started hoping for Cooper to save me and Tawny, I’d stop working to save us. Then when he dumped me, it would hurt more.

“You think about it,” Cooper finally said, studying my face. “Want to help me grill?”

“Isn’t that man work?” I asked, eyeing him through my narrowed eyes. “Fire is a guy thing, right?”

“I’m a caveman who likes a strong cavewoman.”

Cooper handed me the giant grill fork and had me turn over the steaks. While I worked, he stood behind me and kissed my neck.

“I can’t think when you do that,” I moaned.

“I can’t think period when you’re around.”

“How are you going to be the perfect one if I’m around all the time?”

Cooper stopped kissing my neck and I think he finally figured out what my early thought process had been. He stood very still for a few beats then kissed my neck again.

“I’m just perfect enough to wing it.”

Cooper sucked hard at my throat and I melted against him. “I don’t want to cook. You do it and also do that. I just want to worship those lips.”