Damaged and the Knight (9 page)

“What about the bridesmaids dresses?” Bailey asked, leaving Sawyer to twirl from a sugar-induced high.

Farah glanced around and bit her bottom lips. “It’s a Valentine’s Day theme, so the dresses should be a deep red.”

“Like blood?” Jodi asked. “Classy.” Unable to tell if she was being sarcastic, the three of us looked at the older woman who suddenly frowned. “Where the fuck is Skye?”

“She cancelled,” Farah muttered, now looking at bridesmaid dresses.

“Fuck her!” Bailey squawked. “The bitch is out of the wedding!”

Hiding her hurt, Farah shrugged. “She had something to do.”

“Don’t be a doormat, Farah,” Bailey grunted. “That bitch is all into herself. Screw that shit. You’d be here for her stupid dress shopping. Dump Skye and find another bridesmaid.”

“Why do I need another one?”

“Cooper already decided how many dudes he’s having. You need enough chicks to walk with them. Duh.” When I frowned at Bailey, she added, “You look pretty today, Farah.”

Everyone laughed then Jodi stepped up to Farah. “Don’t worry about the bridesmaid dresses yet. Just pick what you want for yourself. It’s your day. Who cares what the rest of these dipshits wear?”

“Hey, Mom,” Bailey whined.

“You and Maddy can check out those dresses while Farah focuses on Farah.”

“What about Tawny?” Bailey asked, grabbing my hand. “Can I take her with me?”

“No,” Jodi said, pulling me away. “She should help her sister.”

Bailey opened her mouth to complain then shut it and walked away as if she wasn’t pissed.

“Look at her learning shit,” Jodi said, grinning before turning to us. “Farah, focus on you today. Take your time to narrow down your choices to a few dresses then you can think it over. The wedding isn’t for months, so don’t stress this. It’s supposed to be fun.”

Farah nodded. “I’m nervous.”

“Nothing happens today,” Jodi insisted. “I wouldn’t let you buy a dress today, even if you begged. We’re just looking.”

Smiling easier now, Farah nodded. “New stuff still stresses me out.”

“All brides get weird. My sister turned into one of those Bridezilla bitches and knifed her best friend. Weddings make people nuts, but it’ll be fine. We have time to make everything just the way you and Coop want, so have fun.”

Taking Farah’s hand, we walked to the dressing rooms with the salesclerk who brought the dresses. I was careful to avoid the wall of mirrors as I waited for Farah to try on the dresses. The first few were pretty, but not shockingly so.

Yet when Farah appeared in the third dress, I gasped at the sight of her. Jumping up, I couldn’t believe how stunning she looked.

“You look like a princess.”

“Do you think it’s too much?”

Shaking my head, I was in awe of her beauty. I turned to look at her reflection, saw my smiling face, and flinched away. Farah immediately pulled me closer.

“You are so beautiful, Tawny. One day, I hope you can see that.”

“I just hate my smile.”

“I know,” she soothed, caressing my cheeks. “One day, maybe you won’t.”

“Maybe. I really like this dress on you,” I said, forcing a smile. “You look amazing.”

“I feel like someone else. Do you think it’s pompous?”

“Stop with the pompous shit,” Jodi said, having gone out for a smoke break. “You’re marrying the prince of the damn town. You want to look good. Do you think Coop is worried about looking pompous?”

“No, but Coop doesn’t care what anyone thinks.”

“True. He wants you to be happy though, even if that means you’re pompous,” Jodi said then studied Farah. “If he sees you in this dress, he’s going to turn stupid. I like it.”

Even smiling, I felt edgy. “I’m going to go outside to get some air.”

Farah frowned. “Do you want me to go with you?”

“You’re wearing a wedding dress and it’s cold outside. I’ll be right back.”

I felt Farah’s eyes on me as I walked out the front door. The weather felt nearly winter, rather than autumn. Yet, the cold was good against my skin.

“What’s up?” Bailey asked, joining me.

“I’m feeling weird is all. Probably not good company.”

“I don’t care. Whatcha feeling weird about?”

“I’m just in a mood.”

“How come?”

Giving in because Bailey wasn’t giving up, I tried to explain. “Sometimes, I look at Cooper and Farah and the life they’re making and it seems perfect. Pristine like a sparking pool. Sometimes, I feel like I’m the turd dirtying their pool.”

“You shouldn’t talk about yourself like that. You’re great. I mean that too. I really like you and I don’t like a lot of girls. Even Farah gets on my nerves because she’s…well I don’t, but she just gets on my nerves. You don’t. You’re not a turd.”

“Maybe, but I hate my face.”

“You’re really pretty though.”

“Once, I looked in the mirror and saw something that made me realize I was a bad person. I just hate looking at my face now.”

“You’re not bad.”

“I try to hide it, but I’m nasty and wrong.”

Bailey hugged me against her. “Stop. You’re going to make me cry and I hate crying.”

Pushing the pain back down inside me, I focused on Farah waiting for me in the store.

“I’m sorry. I just feel sad sometimes.”

“You deserved everything, Tawny. I’d give you it too, but I think what you need isn’t something I can buy.”

“No, it’s not, but I appreciate the thought.”

“Am I being a good friend? I don’t know because usually I just tell people to shut up and leave me alone when they have feelings.”

“You’re being great,” I said, hugging her. “You did make me feel better. Important too.”

Bailey sighed. “I’m jealous of the attention Farah is getting for the wedding. I might need more help to keep from showing her up.”

“Imagine you’re picking things out for your wedding. If you think about how you’ll have a beautiful wedding one day with a guy who loves you like Coop loves Farah then you won’t feel so jealous. You can settle down and be supportive.”

“I’ll try, but I’m not kidding about Skye being out of the wedding. I don’t care what Farah says. Skye is a bitch and she doesn’t value Farah. She only cares about her boytoy and her friends in Memphis. Fuck her. She’s not in the wedding, even if I have to tie her up and ditch her somewhere.”

“I don’t want Skye in the wedding either. Farah probably doesn’t either, but she’s not great at confrontation. You can tell Skye to fuck off, so Farah doesn’t have to. It’ll be your bridesmaid duty.”

Bailey laughed. “I’m going to make that bitch cry.”

Laughing too, I returned to the store where Farah waited. Her expression was dark until she saw me giggling with Bailey.

“I know you can’t pick a dress today,” I told Farah, “but I like this one the most. We’ll take pictures, so you can remember how beautiful you look.”

Maddy appeared next to us. “I found a dress that’ll look good on me as well as you skinny broads.”

“I found a dress in red,” Sawyer said, still twirling around. “Farah, you look beautiful.”

“Thanks, sweetpea.”

“Who’s ready to ditch this place and get lunch?” Jodi asked.

Everyone looked restless as we took photos of the dresses we liked and made plans to come back closer to the wedding for fittings. Walking out of the store, I held hands with Farah and Bailey while thinking only happy thoughts.

Chapter Eleven

When my birthday arrived, I decided it was a big deal. I wasn’t merely one day older, but a woman now. No more hiding behind my sister and her man, I would build a life of my own. I already had a job lined up at Denny’s for the morning shift. I also found an apartment I could afford on my salary. Cooper was pissed about both of these changes. Farah just seemed sad, but she claimed to understand. For her, I was still the damaged little sister in need of protection. No more hiding behind Farah, I thought waking on my birthday. From this day on, I was a new woman.

By the time the house was filled with Cooper’s friends and the party was hitting full gear, I decided I would find me a boyfriend. While no man could compare to Judd in my mind, any guy might help me take another step into independence.

While Aaron made clear how he and I couldn’t happen, I still hurried to his side when he arrived.

“You came,” I said stupidly.

“Of course. Happy birthday.”

“It’s just I don’t know any of these people, but I know you.”

Aaron grinned. “Let’s see if you still like me after the tat. I’ve had more than a few people stop talking to me afterwards.”

“That’s stupid.”

“Pain makes people stupid.”

“By people, do you mean women?” I asked, hands on my hips and fake offended.

Aaron’s smile grew. “Oh, no, I’m not falling into that trap. Besides, men the size of linebackers have freaked out and girls small enough to fit in my trunk have dozed off in the middle of it. Can’t be sure how you’ll react until you’re under the needle.”

“I’m excited though,” I said, smiling up at him. “Your drawing was beautiful and imagining something so amazing on my body seems unbelievable.”

“Wait,” Cooper grunted, suddenly appearing from behind a corner, “what’s on your body?”

As Cooper hovered over him menacingly, Aaron laughed. “I told Tawny that you wouldn’t want us hooking up.”

“No fucking way.”

I punched Cooper’s arm as hard as I could, meaning he barely felt it. “Stop threatening him. I’m a woman today and I’m hooking up with anyone I want.”

“No, I have to screen them first,” Cooper said with complete seriousness.

“He’s your best friend,” I muttered.

“Exactly. He needs a woman who will swoon for him. You’re more like giddy over him. Not good enough. Find someone else.”

Aaron and I laughed while Cooper shrugged. His irritation faded when Farah appeared wearing a clingy burgundy sweater. Cooper’s gaze locked onto her chest and Farah grinned knowingly.

Seeing our chance at a getaway, Aaron and I split up to avoid more Cooper meddling. Heading towards the kitchen, I hoped Bailey would arrive soon, so I’d have someone to talk to. Farah had to play hostess, but she kept an eye on me when she wasn’t teasing Cooper.

Leaning against the kitchen island with its dark granite, I sipped a beer and nibbled some kind of hors d'oeuvres Farah ordered. The food tasted weird. Good at first then like an explosion of gross in the back of my throat.

“Pretty fucking awful, huh?” a guy said next to me.

Turning towards the garden room, I was startled to find a big bald guy behind me. Like Cooper, he didn’t seem like the sort of man capable of sneaking up on anyone. Yet, he simply appeared.

“I’m going to spit it out,” I said, leaning over to casually rid myself of the nastiness into the trashcan. When I stood back up, the guy grinned in a way that said he was on the hunt. “I’m a picky eater,” I muttered awkwardly.

“The Goldstein girl recommended the caterer. Don’t trust a girl from Memphis, I guess,” he said then added. “I’m Mac.”

“Tawny.”

“Yeah, the birthday girl.”

Mac was the kind of guy to help get my mind off Judd. Fun and wild, he wasn’t forever, but I was only looking for a distraction anyway. Smiling big for him, I hoped the yucky hors d'oeuvre wasn’t in my teeth.

“I’m legal now.”

“I heard,” Mac said softly as his dark eyes warmed.

Knowing he was putting on his smooth guy moves, I nearly giggled. Instead, I focused hard on remaining calm. Even with my aversion to being touched, I wanted a boyfriend. With effort, I could move past Judd and find a man who might want me as much as I wanted him.

Building my courage, I reached out and caressed Mac’s arm, just over a sexy woman tattoo. His gaze focused on my fingers before lifting to my face. As our eyes met, a sly smile slid across his face.

While I didn’t want what he was imagining, I craved feeling beautiful like Farah felt when Cooper looked at her. Mac’s gaze suddenly moved past me. Without a word, he walked away.

Spinning around, I expected Cooper to be the one driving away my possible first boyfriend. Instead, Judd stared at me with those cold irritated eyes.

When he said nothing, I considered walking away or following Mac. Then, Judd gave me a small head gesture to follow him. A part of me knew it was a mistake to join him outside, but avoiding him was a weak chick move.

Once on the front porch, Judd asked in a low, edgy voice, “What is it that you think you were doing?”

“I’m eighteen and I want a boyfriend,” I said, crossing my arms in the chilly air.

Judd gave me an angry smile. “And you think a guy like Mac will bring you flowers and write you poems.”

“I think he’d show me a good time.”

Immediately, Judd erased the space between us. “Is that what you want, kid? Want a little fun in the sack?”

“Why do you care, Daddy?”

Studying my face, Judd glared at me. “I can show you fun. I can show you lots of things.”

“As long as I don’t cry or whine or annoy you, right? As long as I pretend to be someone I’m not,” I muttered, stepping back. “I’m trying to be a woman a guy like you would want. When I become that woman, I won’t really care what you think. I was just a job, remember?”

“You know what you were and it wasn’t a job.”

His words taunted me, offering a glimmer of hope. Yet, his words on the driveway less than two months ago lingered in my thoughts. “Why are you bothering me?”

“You’re not to go around Mac again. Do you understand?”

“I don’t have to listen to you.”

Judd narrowed his eyes at me. “Fine. I’ll tell him to stay away from you. He’ll listen if he wants to keep both eyes.”

“Whatever. He’s one guy and the college is full of them. Bailey and I are going to a frat party this weekend. Can’t take all of those guys’ eyes.”

“Is that a challenge?”

“You got me here safe,” I said, trying to look away, but unable to. “You did your job and I’m sure you got paid. What more do you want?”

Judd glanced at approaching Harleys then focused on me. When he erased the space between us again, I shivered at the feel of his breath on my cheek.

“You know what I want.”

“To fuck me because I’m hot.”