Damaged But Not Broken (New Adult Rockers)

BOOK: Damaged But Not Broken (New Adult Rockers)

But Not Broken

by W.H

Hearts Collective Production


© 2013 Hearts Collective

rights reserved. This document may not be reproduced in any way without the
expressed written consent of the author. The ideas, characters, and situations presented
in this story are strictly fictional and any unintentional likeness to real
people or real situations is completely coincidental.



thanks to my fellow writers at Hearts Collective for their continued support
and guidance. And a special thanks to all the readers out there - Love you
all!! Oh and remember to post an honest review (good or bad) when you finish
reading :)

- W.H.


Thanks to L.J. Anderson

for the
beautiful professional cover art.

Cover Creations




- Summer

- Present

- The

- Second

- Tossing
and Turning

- It's Her

- Pain
of Past

- Hung

- A
Familiar Fuck

- Staying

Willing to Risk Everything

- The
Guilty Kiss

- I Love You Still

- Lucked Out



- Letting Go

- Ruffled Sheets

- Sleeping Over?

- On
The Road

- Off The Wagon

- Worried

- Continued

- Promise of Never

- The End




Summer 2000


Blake kisses me, and I melt into
his arms, swooning as his lips brush against me. He tastes of sweat and
lemonade, and I lick his lips again unable to get enough.

Blake is my entire world. My whole
summer has revolved around him, and I know my life will continue to revolve
around him... I can't imagine any differently.

Sweet Blake who came into my life just
when I needed him, as my whole world was crumbling around me.

I run my fingers through Blake’s
messy brown hair, feeling the silky strands in my fingers, and I tighten my
grip, wanting to hold onto Blake forever. Is it possible to love someone this
much at fifteen? I know people think I’m crazy, they would never understand how
much Blake and I love each other.

“I love you,” Blake whispers, as if
reading my mind.

“I love you too,” I whisper back,
feeling the hot sun beating down on my back.

“Can I come over again later?” he
pleads. I know I should be one of those girls who doesn’t spend all her free
time with her boyfriend, but since I’ve given myself to Blake, my need for him
is insatiable.

“Yes. My dad is going out with his
friends tonight. The house will be empty.”

Blake lets out a happy sigh, and
his hands graze against my thighs.

We hear a car pull up in the
driveway, and we quickly shuffle away from each other...

I hear click-clacking heels, and
then a few moments later, Blake’s Momma appears around the back of the house. I
see a quick flicker of annoyance cross her face, and then she masks it with a
chipper smile.

“Paige! So lovely to see you.” She
pauses. “Again.”

“Good afternoon Mrs. Evans.”

“Will you be staying for dinner?”

“No, ma'am. I’ve promised to have
dinner with my Daddy tonight.”

“How nice. I’m sure he loves having
you home for the summer.”

I nod because I know my Daddy does
love having me home for summers. I’m sure he would love it even more if he
weren’t drunk half the time. I know my mom hates me spending the summers back
in Nashville, and I fib and tell her Daddy isn’t as bad as he was before the
divorce, but he’s still just as bad.

But Blake makes it worth it.

I think about that first day of
seventh grade – I transplanted from my private school to the local middle
school because my mom and dad were talking about the D-word. And if they were
going to pull me out of school mid-year, they weren’t going to pull me out of
an expensive private school and lose the year’s tuition.

The girls had all eyed me warily at
my new school; I couldn’t help the fact that I had been genetically blessed. Even
in seventh grade, I was thin and leggy, had long blonde hair the color of silk
and bright blue eyes.

But Blake had been just like me – a
newbie. He had recently moved to Nashville thanks to his father’s new job.

We had bonded right away, first as
friends, but soon Blake and I became an item and it was like we were one and
the same. Everything was “Blake and Paige” “Blake and Paige.” Everyone knew one
of us wouldn’t be somewhere without the other.

Blake helped me deal with the pain
of my parents fighting and the threats of my mom taking me back to where her
family lived in Bristol. I knew I couldn’t stay in Nashville with my dad. He
worked way too much and his rock and roll production company, Lawson, was just
starting to take off. Which meant he would be working even more. And honestly,
I loved my mom more.

And then, just after Christmas, my
world imploded.

My parents came into my room over
Christmas break and sat me down. I remember knowing in my gut, the tears started
flowing before they even started talking. Through my choked sobs, my parents
told me they couldn’t do it anymore. They both loved me very much, but they
couldn’t stay together and it would be better for me in the long run.

My Daddy admitted he drank too much
and he promised he would get help so I could come spend summers with him in Nashville.

It was all so matter of fact, as if
explaining a business deal. I was just a piece of collateral damage. I would
live with my mom during the school year and then spend summers in Nashville. It
that easy
they said.

As if.

My Momma said we still had some
time left in Nashville. My dad would sleep in the guest room (which he pretty
much did all the time anyway). She wanted to go back and forth to Bristol and
try to get our new life situated before we moved. She began cashing in her
vacation time, and spending long weekends in Bristol, looking for houses with
my Grandma’s help and interviewing for new jobs.

I remember crying so hard when I
told Blake. He hugged me and stroked my hair and we had our first real kiss.

In March, my mom was finally ready
for our move. So three-quarters into the school year, I packed up the only life
I'd ever known in Nashville and followed my Momma three hours to the
Tennessee-Virginia line.

I didn’t realize how lucky I had
been in Nashville. The house my Momma and I moved into was nice and quaint, but
small. Bristol was quiet; not lively like Nashville. As much as I loved my mom,
I resented her. I counted down the weeks until I could return to Nashville for
the summer.

Until I could return to
for the summer.

“What are you thinking?” Blake
asks, taking my hand and running the pad of his thumb along one of my freckles.

I sigh. “Just thinking about when
we first met.”

Blake grins. “You were hot then and
you’re still hot now.”

I giggle. Blake always makes me

I wiggle my toes, which are hanging
over into his pool, and turn my face up to the sky. It’s one of those perfectly
blue-sky summer days that you can only find in Nashville. I can tell that it’s
getting late, and I check my chunky new cell phone; a lavish present from my
dad. He says it’s so he can keep in touch with me, but he barely calls and I
think he just gave it to me because he feels guilty all the time.

“You’re so lucky to have a phone,”
Blake says wistfully.

I smile and then frown. It’s just
after five o’clock, which I should have known when Mrs. Evans returned from
work. I need to get home so I can meet my dad for dinner.

“I have to go,” I say sadly.

“But at least I get to see you
later,” Blake says nuzzling me.

“I have condoms at my house,” I whisper,
even though I know we can’t be overheard.

Blake’s eyes light up and I know
he’s excited by my preparations. We had only been having sex for two weeks, but
I quickly set up my own stash in a shoebox under my bed because that’s how much
I loved Blake.

I wisely covered the condoms with
pads and tampons. My dad never went in my room, but if he ever did, he would
quickly slam the lid down on any box filled with feminine products; they scared
the crap out of him.

I gave Blake one last hug and kiss
before I trotted around to the front of his house and got on my bike.

The ride is only two miles, which
isn’t bad. When I arrive back at my house, or should I say my dad’s house,
because really it isn’t my house anymore, he's just getting home.

“Hey baby,” he says, smiling. When
my dad is sober, he's great. I know he loves having me home. It makes my heart
ache in a pitiful kind of way.

This has been our life for the past
three years – I come home in the summers, he buys me fancy presents and then
feels guilty as he tries to make it up to me for the divorce and the drinking.

“Hi Daddy. How are you?”

“Good. I picked up your favorite,”
he says, waving the bag in my face.

Yum! He picked up burgers from my
favorite place downtown. I walk my bike into the garage and follow him inside.
I can’t wait until next summer when I can drive.

My dad places the burgers and
milkshakes down on the kitchen table.

“Let me go change. I’ll be right
back.” He says.

I begin to unwrap our meal. We
almost always eat in the kitchen because it's so much more casual than the
dining room. My dad reappears a few minutes later dressed in shorts and a

“So, what are your plans tonight?”
I ask, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Not too much. Billy and Riff are
coming by and we’re going to go out for a few drinks.”

I can’t help it; I make a face at

“What is it, Paige?” he asks, a
hint of annoyance in his voice.

“I just don’t know why you hang out
with them,” I complain.

I certainly don’t want my dad to
cancel his plans since Blake is coming over, but I can never understand why he
spends so much time with his two loser friends from high school. Even though my
dad is a drinker, he’s made a good life for himself and done exceptionally

Billy and Riff have never managed
to hold steady jobs and they both live in run-down houses on the edge of town.
I sometimes think they only hang out with my dad because he buys the beer.

My dad gives me a patient look. “I
know we seem different,” he explains, “but they’re my oldest friends.”

I want to add that they also can
drink like my father, but I hold my tongue.

I nod, as if I understand and we
continue eating our burgers.

“I’m going to go into the office
and do some work. You okay for a bit?” He asks.

“Sure thing. I’ll clean up from dinner.”
I offer.


My dad closes himself in his office
and I start to tidy up the kitchen. I don’t mind cleaning up after my dad. He
has a cleaning lady come in twice a month, but I think he got used to my mom
picking up after him. Once the kitchen is clean, I make my way back to my room.

Another of my dad’s I-feel-guilty
presents is located in my room – my very own computer. I sit down in front of
it, and wait for the slow dial up. I sign on to AOL and see if anyone is on
Instant Messenger.

I don’t see anyone that I feel like
talking to, so I check my email. There’s a short email from my mom telling me
that she misses me.

I type back a quick email, making a
mental note to call her tomorrow and then I turn the computer off. I’m bored
and restless; Blake isn’t coming over until after eight. I pick up a magazine
and start flipping through it. I lose track of time and my dad’s knock on the
door pulls me out of the glossy magazine pages.

“I’m heading out, honey. We’ll be
late, so don’t wait up.”

Like I would.

“Sure thing, Dad.”

Suddenly I hear the front door

“Kenny! Where the fuck are you,
man?” A gruff voice hollers down the hallway.

I roll my eyes. Billy and Riff have
obviously arrived.

My dad gives me a sheepish grin and

I close my door as I hear my dad
and his buddies cursing and joking. Once my dad is gone, I hurry into the
shower and shave my legs and wash my hair. I make sure that my legs are super
smooth, and then I blow dry my hair out.

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