Dancing in Circles (Circles Trilogy) (6 page)

Robert tilted his head as his brow crinkled.

She scratched her nose. "Oh, uh...
pas de deux
when two people dance. This one's between the Prince and the Sugar Plum Fairy. I wanted to be the fairy. I thought she was the most wonderful thing I'd ever seen. She had on a purple tutu, stuck straight out at the sides, and she danced on her toes. I told mom that's what I wanted to do, and I've been taking class ever since."

"I hope ya get to dance her someday."

"Oh, I'm not good enough. It's just a dream." She held back a sad sigh.

"How do ya know? Maybe ya are good enough. Ya gotta believe in yourself and in your dreams. Dreams is what keeps us alive. People trapped in a hopeless situation survive by their dreams. Their dreams of freedom, of a better life, whatever."

What are your dreams? Can I ask you? Or is it too soon to get that personal?
Julie picked at the leather-covered saddle horn.

"I gotta question." Robert shifted around in his saddle to face her. "Doesn't it hurt to stand on your toes? It hurts like hell when I stub mine. I can't imagine jumpin' up and down on'em."

Julie laughed. "When I first got my pointe shoes I thought my toes were going to break. Imagine trying to walk around with your foot stuck in a glass."

"Why do it if it hurts?"

"Good question." She released the hair tie, shook her head and let her long, brown hair drape around her shoulders. "Dancers are driven by a passion. An obsession. I've heard of ballerinas dancing with pulled muscles, sprained ankles, cracked bones in their feet. I'd love to spend nine or ten hours a day in a dance studio. I could deal with any of the physical discomforts if given a chance. Am I smiling all stupid like?" She looked at the saddle, the reins and the field to the left of her.

Robert, who was on her right, tapped her arm. "Ya have to look at me so I can see. And why the weird question?"

The heat rose in Julie's cheeks. "Mom says whenever I talk about dance I get this big grin on my face and I light up. Whatever that means."

"If ya love dancin' so much, go be a dancer? Go join a company or somethin'."

Julie paused as she looked at the trees starting to change to their fall colours. "It's not that easy. You have to audition. There are a million dancers for one job. Besides, my parents want me to go to college."

"It's not your parent's life. It's yours. Ya gotta do what's right for you. If ya don't try you'll never know if ya coulda been the fairy thing. If ya audition and don't get the job then you'll know ya ain't good enough, and ya can get on with your life."

She bit her lip. "That's the problem."

"What is?"

"What if I audition and fail?" Julie stared at her saddle.

"Ya go home and cry then swear at them, for being stupid. Your friends're way more concerned with their lives than yours. They'll forget about your failure long before ya do."

"You're so right. I've known them since we were babies and I swear, I've talked to you more about my dancing in ten minutes than I ever have with them."
Ever.

The two rode on in silence. Julie watched Robert. He was relaxed, so different than at school. She urged her horse alongside his. "How long have you been working here?"

"Off and on for six years."

Wow, did he ever just brighten up. That grin is so sexy. "You like it there?"

"I love working with the horses. Carl swears I can communicate with them. This is where I wanna stay. Eventually I'd like Carl's job. I think I can run this place, but who knows." He shrugged. "Carl's taught me everythin' from this-is-a-horse to how to ride, train and breed. I'm in charge of deliveries. Messy job." He shook his head. "And they always deliver in the middle of the night."

"It's my turn for a question, but it's changing subjects."

"Fire away." Robert knew he had to let her ask almost anything to get her past his Shore reputation.

Enjoying herself, Julie suspected her instincts about Robert were right that there's a compassionate human under his gang member skin. "Wednesday, when Steph and you fought. He went white as a ghost. He instantly knew you're Shoresmen." She raised her eyebrows. "Major surprise to me. And how did your...friends know to show up?"

"I called 'em. I knew I needed backup. Figured Stephan would bring the whole friggin' football team."

"How did he know you're…Shoresmen?" She tried to say the word without any obvious disgust.

Robert looked at his saddle then held up his right hand with his knuckles facing Julie. A tattoo of a serpent coiled around a dagger started on his middle finger's last knuckle, circled around and its open mouth stopped at the base of his fingernail. "Shoresmen markin'. Can't lay down our colours. That means quit the gang."

"Why did you become a gang member?" Julie mentally crossed her fingers hoping she wasn't pushing Robert too far. She just wanted to get to know him.

"I…uh…needed a home, friends, family. The guys became all that." He held up his other hand and showed a black dagger tattoo. The hilt started at the base of his fingernail and ran along the length of his middle finger. The point was red with droplets trickling down the back of his hand. "The markin's of a leader."

"Francine said gang initiations are pretty violent."

"I don't wanna talk about it. Ya can't understand why I joined. It's got nothin' to do with drugs or an easy buck."

"That's not what I asked."

His eyes darkened as his brow tightened. "It's what ya implied."

Julie's horse tossed his head and stamped. She reached down and patted his neck then turned her attention back to Robert. "I didn’t imply anything. You're being a bit defensive. Which I can completely understand. Let me try again. A straight question, no hidden meaning, why did you join?"

Did she just tell me off?
Robert let his thoughts tumble around for a moment, then urged his horse forward. "Total survival. You're involved in your gang of dancers because of some urge that's gotta be filled. I joined this gang to survive. Very basic here – life or death." He heaved a deep breath to calm his anger. "I won't condemn them, and I won't make excuses for runnin' with'em. This ain't no lady's tea party. We're a gang and we do gang stuff. Can we change subjects, please?" He pulled on the reins and turned his horse.

Not good. Just made him mad
. She followed him back towards the stable. "One more question. No, two more."

Robert halted his horse. "Can I guess the first one? What the hell am I doin' at Westland?"

Julie nodded. "I know it sounds rude. I mean, you can go wherever you want, but why Westland?"

His horse snorted and stomped his hoofs. "Whoa. What's wrong?" He reined up his horse and patted its side while checking the ground and area for what startled it. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, he turned his attention back to Julie. "Short version. Either do time at Westland or do time. End of that conversation." His tone was sharp. "Next question."

She bit her lip, looked out at the pasture, took a big breath then blurted, "Did you and Tricia…you know."

"That's so not what I figured for your next question. What's it to ya?"

"Inquiring minds want to know." She shook her head. "Lame, I know. Tricia and I haven't talked and I'm curious."

"Bold too."
And cute as hell
. He ran his fingers through his hair. "Tricia and I hooked up. If some female throws herself at me, I'm gonna take advantage of it. 'Sides I figured I deserved a little. Trish is usin' me, so I used her. Still wanna talk to me?" He clicked his horse.

"Yes." Her heart pounded. "Because we're talking about things I don't talk about with anyone else."
Sex. We're talking about s-e-x.

Calling over his shoulder he said, "Maybe you should get some new friends. Someone who's interested in you rather than themselves."

"I thought I had found a friend." Julie spoke to Robert's back. Talking to it was easier than to his face.

He twisted around in his saddle. From his puzzled, but surprised expression, Julie knew her admission caught him off guard. "I'll never be able to explain you to my friends or to my father. Before you ask, I owe you something for rescuing me the other night, and the only thing I can pay you back with is my friendship. I figure you could use one ally at Westland. Friends?" She stuck out her hand.

"Friends." They shook. "Now let's get you back to the rest of the group."

***

Robert hopped off his horse then hurried over to help Julie off hers. When her feet hit the ground, her legs wobbled and her bottom tingled. "Ooh, I think I'm better on my feet than on my seat." She rubbed her backside.

He grinned. "I guess we're not good enough friends for me to massage that cute little behind."

If only I were brave enough to let you. "You said a man's got to have dreams – well, keep dreaming." She laughed, waved and walked across the yard to the waiting wagon.

Feeling strangely chipper, Robert watched as the wagon pulled away. He'd had a great afternoon, too bad she was Westland. He might stand a chance of becoming a friend but never a lover. He shrugged, turned and entered the barn.

The girls jumped off the wagon, shouted thank you to Carl then walked over to the patio where Mrs. Murran sat waiting, with a pot of tea and a plate of cookies. While everyone chatted about the day's adventure, Julie stared towards the stables. If Trish hadn't known Robert was there, Julie wasn't about to let out his secret. All too soon, the girls agreed it was time to go home. With sad thank yous, Julie and her friends left the Estate.

As she nestled down to sleep, Julie wondered how she should handle this friendship. She hoped her friends might understand. She wondered if her family would. Julie wished it was Monday, so she could see Robert, even if only across the classroom. Things should be calmer at school, after all, he'd survived two fights. What else could go wrong?

Mornings, especially Mondays, were crazy hectic in the Anderson household. This week, it was Tricia's turn to carpool, and Julie was her first stop. As Julie grabbed her books and a wrapped parcel, she reminded herself that nobody knew about her conversation with Robert. As hard as it was, she had to pretend not to know what had happened at the dance.

She pulled open the door of the little, red Focus, slid in, and set the parcel at her feet. "Quick, before we get to Francine's. Is it true? Did I read your Facebook wall right? You and Robert did it? Oh yea, good morning. How are you?" Julie buckled her seatbelt.

Putting the car into reverse, Tricia peered over her shoulder to back up. "We found this little secluded spot and we kissed and he undid my blouse and I let him." She giggled. "Then we did it."

"Patricia-Ann! You didn't?"

"We did."

"How could you? You barely know him."

"You're just jealous." Tricia pulled into Heather's driveway and honked. Heather exited her house, and Jennifer ran over from across the street.

"So?" Jennifer slammed her door. Her gossip antennas were tingling. "Details. I so read between the lines on your tweet."

"What tweet? I didn't see a tweet?" Julie turned to look at Jennifer then over at Tricia.

Tricia turned left onto Francine's street and drove towards the largest house at the end of the road. "His kisses were like so hot! Way better kisser than…is that Francine standing on the curb?" Tricia slowed and stopped next to her.

Francine jerked the door open and pushed Heather into the centre of the back seat. "Had to get out of the house. Mom is in one of those moods. The maids were late. Cook burnt my breakfast. Good morning. I hope everybody else's day started better than mine."

"Happy Birthday." Julie picked up the parcel and handed it to Francine.

The others echoed her words and pulled boxes out of backpacks and purses.

"You girls are the greatest." With a lighter mood, Francine ripped the wrapping paper from her gifts. Julie had purchased a blouse and sweater set from Francine's favourite boutique. "This is it! This is the one I wanted. Oh, Julie love, thank-you. Hide me. I'm going to wear this today." The others held up their coats and amid peals of laughter Francine changed. "It fits. It's perfect."

After the mandatory trip to the girl's bathroom to fix their make-up and gossip about the weekend, Julie headed off to the first class.

"Calculus first thing Monday morning should be outlawed."

"Good morning to you too." She shivered at the sound of Robert's deep voice then turned. "My seat hurts."

"Hey, I volunteered to rub it."
Such a cute butt
.

"You look as if your head still hurts."

"It does."

"Have you seen a doctor?" Julie pulled open the door to the calculus room. Robert grimaced then walked to his desk, dropped his books and sat.

"Good morning, class. I hope you had a restful weekend because we're going to have a pop quiz." A clown smile spread across Mr. Ross' mouth.

A collective moan rose from the class.